Fifty Shades of Parenting More
by PenToPaper18
Summary: This is a sequel to "Fifty Shades of Parenting". I have decided to fast forward and pick it up exactly two years later. Please read and enjoy.
1. Fifty Forward

This is a sequel to "Fifty Shades of Parenting". If you are new to this fanfic, please read that one first. This picks up exactly two years after "Fifty Shades of Parenting".

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or any of the characters in this story.

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Ana's POV

Friday evenings used to be spent at home with my husband. We would put the kids to bed right after dinner and then we would have our play time. As we got older, our kids got older, and our Friday night routines changed along with their ages. Our kids would have later bedtimes, they would have their play dates and their activities, and then as teenagers they would have dates and school dances. I still have my baby, my Natalie. She is two and a half. Teddy and Phoebe aren't babies anymore. Teddy will soon be finishing his freshman year of college, and Phoebe her junior year of high school. It's times like now when I am on my own that I wonder where the time has gone. It only feels like yesterday when Christian and I read books to our babies before putting them to bed. It only feels like yesterday when we kissed their tears and bruises away. I wish time could stand still, or slow down, so that I could enjoy it more.

"Mrs Grey" I hear Collins call my name and I snap out of my reverie. "We're here."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I am so glad to see my little sister. It's been a while since the last time she's visited. She and Ethan have been living in Los Angeles for the last sixteen years with their kids, but they came up here to visit for a few days. Mia always makes a point to visit around my birthday. My niece Elizabeth is seven, my nephew Christopher is five, and my other niece Sophia is just a few months older than Natalie. They've made great lives for themselves in LA. Ethan is a director on the daytime soap opera General Hospital, while Mia owns a boutique where she designs all of the clothes. They were very eager and excited to move to California after they were married, but I really wish they'd settled down closer. For now I am enjoying the company, a play date actually, for our daughters. It turns out they like the same things, Disney princesses. Natalie has every single princess doll and a castle for them filled with toy furniture. They are both playing with the dolls while Mia and I are sitting with them on the floor next to them.

Mia has not been herself these past few days. She is usually the firecracker of the family, always so outgoing and perky. She and Ethan and the kids have been staying with our parents and they plan on driving back to Los Angeles tomorrow night. I'm glad she decided to bring Sophia here tonight. It gives me an opportunity to get her to talk. I was always the one that she came to for advice. Not Elliot, not our father, me. I never quite understood why. I would scold her if she messed up, made sure she understood the error of her ways, but I would also help her out of any mess she'd managed to get herself into. I've always had a soft spot for my little sister, probably since the day my parents brought her home.

"They play well together" she says to me as she runs her hand through Sophia's strawberry blond curly hair.

"Yes they do. I'm just worried about Natalie being tired. She missed her nap today." I'm so angry that my daughter didn't take a nap today. Ana didn't take her to work and I wasn't here to enforce it. We had Natalie stay home with Gail today and she couldn't get her to take a nap. I look up at Mia and she is looking fondly at our girls. I can tell something is up, and I can't put this off any longer. I need to ask her.

"Mia, how are you, really? You seem a bit off." She looks at me for a second and then immediately breaks eye contact. Yes, something is definitely not right.

"Christian…." she shakes her head, and for a moment I don't think she is going to tell me. She has to tell me. I'm her brother for Christ sake. She has to know that I won't let this go.

"Mia, tell me" I demand when she doesn't say another word, but I keep my voice light.

She looks at me sadly. "I want to come home"

My jaw drops. I certainly wasn't expecting this. Why does she look so sad?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I am exhausted after having to travel to Portland for meetings today. Collins had driven me to and from several appointments I had down there, and now I am at my last appointment, which is in downtown Seattle. I am sitting in the exam room waiting for Dr Greene to return. Usually my appointments are faster than this. I put on the gown, have my pap smear and mammogram, get dressed then I leave. But Dr Greene had asked me to stick around for a bit. She wouldn't tell me why. And now I'm starting to worry. What if she has bad news for me? My imagination beings to run wild with the possibility that something could be wrong with me. Did she go to call Christian?

She comes back into the room. I must look so confused. She is smiling. Why is she smiling? Is this how she delivers bad news to patients?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I look at my sister and see sadness in her eyes. I have to know everything. What's happened to her to get her so upset? Is it her marriage? Is it one of her kids?

"Mia… is everything okay? Ethan? The kids?"

She nods and I can see a tear fall from her eye. "Yes Christian, oh god yes, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you." She reaches over and puts her hand on top of mine to prove a point. Our moment is interrupted when Natalie throws a fit. She's trying to take a toy away from Sophia. I intervene and get her to stand in front of me.

"Natalie, are you playing nice with Sophie?" I ask her. My hands are holding her arms so she doesn't pull away from me.

"Sophie took my Ariel"

"Baby, right now you are playing with Belle, so you need to let Sophie play with Ariel."

"But I don't want to" she whines and gives me the pouty lip. I look over at Mia and she has to cover her mouth to hide her giggles.

"Natalie, you need to be a nice girl and share your toys with Sophie, or I'll need to put you to bed. Understand?" She continues to pout. I suppose she is old enough to learn not to do that, but tonight is probably not the best time to start that lesson. I decide to let that go for now, but I need for her to answer me. "Natalie?"

"Okay" she says with the pout still on her face. I have her sit down so that she can go back to playing. I turn my attention back to Mia and try to continue our conversation.

"So, uh, what's going on? Why do you want to come home?"

"I miss my family. I've been gone for so long. I've been raising my kids somewhere else. And I've missed out on seeing my nieces and nephews grow up. Kate and Elliot had a son last year and I didn't get to visit until he was six months old."

"We've all been very busy, Mia. We all understand that." I try to ease her conscience, but it doesn't work. "Have you talked to Ethan about this?"

"Not yet." I watch her wipe a tear from her eye. Mia rarely ever cries. This has to be weighing on her pretty heavily if it's making her cry. "He loves his job. He's so happy with what he does. I can't bring myself to crush his dreams."

"He loves you too, Mia. You need to talk to him. Who knows? Maybe he'll surprise you."

"What if Ana came to you one day and said she wanted to move to Tennessee to be near her mother?"

Tennessee? I didn't see that coming. What would I do? "I would… suggest having Carla and Scott move to Seattle. But our situations are different, Mia. Both you and Ethan have family here."

"But, our jobs are in Los Angeles."

"So get new jobs." She laughs at that, but I didn't mean for it to be funny. "No, I'm serious. You should be able to open a boutique here, and maybe Ethan can find something else he wants to do." She seems to be in a better mood after letting this out, even though she hasn't really resolved anything. "Mia, please talk to Ethan. He needs to know that you want to move back here."

She nods, which only tells me that she will think about it. We are interrupted again because the girls are fussing about something. I intervene again and this time Natalie screams at Sophia. "No, no, ahhhhhhhh!"

I stand and pick Natalie up, and Mia also stands. "Don't leave" I tell her as I turn and walk out of the room with Natalie in my arms. She is crying as I carry her up the steps, rubbing her back and trying to soothe her. I don't like the way she behaved, but I can't blame her. She is so tired. This is what happens when a two year old misses her nap. She can't control her anger and her emotions. I lay her on her bed and change her diaper. She kicks at me and throws her arms around as I do it. I don't like it, and I warn her a few times to stop. "Natalie" I scold her when I grab one of her legs. "If you kick me again I'm going to swat your bottom." This usually gets her attention, but right now she is so tired. She stops kicking her legs but she is still throwing a fit and hitting her arms against the bed. I decide not to swat her. I'm already putting her to bed early as punishment for not playing nice with her cousin. After I dress her in her pajamas I put her to bed and calmly explain to her why she is being punished.

"Baby, you need to go to sleep now. You were not a good girl when Sophie was here. I'll see you in the morning." Even though this breaks my heart, I kiss her forehead and leave the room. No bedtime story, no bedtime snuggling, no bedtime song, I just put her to bed and leave the room. I know that she will continue to cry, but I know I need to stick to my guns when it comes to punishing her. This worked with Teddy and Phoebe when they misbehaved as toddlers, so I'm hoping it will work with Natalie too.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I arrive home to find Christian showing Mia and Sophie out. I'm sad that Mia will be leaving to go back to Los Angeles tomorrow. It feels like she just got here, and she rarely gets to visit. I spend a few minutes talking to her before she has to go back to Carrick and Grace's to put Sophie and her other kids to bed. We exchange hugs and suddenly she is out the door. Who knows when we'll get to see her again? I turn to my husband and try to gauge his reaction. His baby sister is leaving again. I know he must be sad about it, but he doesn't look sad. He looks at me with those lovely gray eyes of his, giving nothing away.

"Where's Natalie?" I finally ask him when I lose the staring contest that we had started the moment I looked at him. And his expression quickly changes.

"I had to put her to bed. She was having trouble sharing her toys."

My poor baby. Christian and I have talked about the things that we need to start teaching our baby girl, and sharing is one of them. I walk up to him and put my arms around his neck, kissing him. "I'm sorry she gave you trouble."

"It's okay" he kisses my nose. "There's something else."

I stop and look up at him with serious eyes. "What?"

"Phoebe…. asked me if she could go on a road trip with Trevor this summer."

"Well, you told her no, right?" I start to panic.

"Of course I told her no." He looks offended that I momentarily doubted him. "I don't want her on some road trip at her age with some boy she's only been seeing for four months. Do you honestly think I would say yes to that?"

"Of course not, what was I thinking?"

"I don't know, what were you thinking?"

Oh crap, he had to ask me that. Since the moment I walked through the front door I was able to put off what I am about to tell him. I'm not sure how he's going to react to the news that I have for him. I'm not scared of him. I know he won't leave me or hurt me. I just don't want him to be unhappy. I start to bite my lip.

"Ana?"

"I'm pregnant!" There. It is out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop myself. I look at him and see the shock in his face.


	2. Fifty Fear

Christian looks at Ana and fails to realize that he is frowning. Ana takes this as a sign that he isn't happy, and she starts to frown too. There is silence between them before Ana speaks up.

"Say something" she says softly, fear starting to build up inside of her. Not fear that her husband will harm her, but fear that he is unhappy with her news. He puts his hand on his forehead as if he's trying to process the news. He still doesn't say anything, but he takes her hand and they walk over to the stairs and sit. Christian leaves go of her hand and puts both hands on his face, rubbing hard and thinking about what he is going to say. Ana is silent. She waits for him to speak. She looks down at her hands in her lap a few times, taking turns glancing up at him.

"Pregnant" he says softly.

"Yeah"

Christian looks over at his wife, and she can see fear in his eyes. "When?"

"I just found out an hour ago, at my appointment with Dr Greene"

"Dr Greene" he repeats her.

"I'm two months along"

Christian continues to process this information internally rather than share the moment with his wife. This makes Ana sad. All of the progress they've made over the years with communication, even with the hard stuff, seems to be fading. This is nothing like the first time Ana had to share the news of an unexpected pregnancy with her husband. When she was pregnant with Teddy, they were young and they were newlyweds. She and Christian spoke briefly of maybe having children, but not that soon after getting married. Christian was furious and afraid that he wasn't going to be a good father. He was also disappointed with the prospect of having to share her with their child before having the opportunity to show her the world. But fast forward twenty one years, she is pregnant again. The circumstances are much different. They are not newlyweds getting to know each other. They are no longer new at the parenting thing and there is nothing they wouldn't do for each other or their children. Anger and disappointment are no longer part of the equation, but the fear is still there. Fear that Ana's health may be at risk.

"Christian" Ana says with great emotion, and it snaps him out of his brooding.

"I'm sorry Baby" he says as he shifts to face her and takes both of her hands in his. "I'm just….. I wasn't expecting this." He says it with both fear and joy in his voice. "How are you?"

"I'm okay" she answers him softly. Christian releases one of her hands and rubs her back. "I have to go back in two weeks for another check-up."

Christian nods. "I'll come with you. I want to be there for all of the appointments."

"Good. There will be more this time" she says, and he can hear the lump in her throat. He continues to rub her back and watches a single tear leave her eye and run down her cheek. He leans in and gently kisses it away. Ana closes her eyes and allows the feel of her husband's lips on her face soothe her.

"I don't think we should tell anybody yet" he says very softly as he rests his forehead against hers.

"No, let's not."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I take my wife's hand and we walk upstairs together in silence. Pregnant? I can't believe it. We talked about having one more after Natalie. We wanted her to have a sibling around her age like Teddy had Phoebe. But we couldn't get pregnant. We didn't have any problems getting pregnant with Teddy, Phoebe or Natalie, so we knew something couldn't be right. We saw Dr Greene, and she told us that Ana couldn't get pregnant again. Even though Dr Greene has been Ana's doctor since the very beginning of our relationship, we sought a second opinion. When Dr Levin gave us the same results we were devastated. We wouldn't be able to experience another little one growing inside Ana's stomach. I wanted a third opinion, but Ana begged me not to pursue it. She couldn't go through that again, so I agreed. We took some time and decided that we would adopt a child, and we even started looking into it. My father had us fill out some paperwork and we were going to meet with the social worker in a few weeks.

But now, we are pregnant. And it is supposed to be a happy time, but I am scared to death. I'm scared that something is going to happen to Ana or this baby, or both. Science told us that she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. Now that she's pregnant, there has to be risks involved. Her age is also a factor, as she is going to be forty three soon. This is not going to be like the other three times she was pregnant. I am going to spend every minute of every day of the next seven months worrying about her fifty times more than I worry about her now. I have her sit on our bed, and I sit too after putting Natalie's monitor on. We can hear her crying, but it's not a loud cry. It is more like a whimper.

"One of us should check on her."

I look at my wife and shake my head. "She's fine. She's unhappy about going to bed early, without a bedtime story or bedtime music."

"That's kinda harsh."

I pout because I agree. But I know this is the right thing to do. I want my daughter to learn to change her behavior when it isn't acceptable. I take my wife's hand again and try to relax, but between having to deal with Natalie's behavior, Phoebe's anger about me forbidding the road trip and Ana's pregnancy news, I'm fighting a losing battle. I take a deep breath and let it out. I nearly find the calm while having my wife next to me, until she brings up Natalie again. We can still hear her crying in the monitor.

"Christian, she doesn't know how to soothe herself. You poked holes in her binkies."

This time I'm scowling. "I did that because I want her to stop using them."

"I don't like the message that we are sending her." Ana continues. "This is her way of telling us that she needs us. And if we don't go to her she'll lose that trust in us."

I let out a long sigh as I think about that. I don't want our daughter to think that we won't be there for her when she needs us. I change my mind and decide to check on her. "Alright, I'll go." Before I rise from the bed I give my wife a long sweet kiss, my way of telling her to wait for me right here. When I rise from the bed I keep my eyes on hers, and I keep them there until I have to turn and walk out of the room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I love my husband's kisses, short and long. Although, I do prefer the long ones. I watch him leave the room with that sexy gaze, and I just want him right here and now. But our daughter needs him, so that will have to wait. The monitor is still on so I can hear him in Natalie's room. I feel guilty for eavesdropping but I can't help it. I love watching and hearing Christian with our kids. I hear him softly shush her as she cries and she starts to calm down. I can also hear him whispering something to her. In a matter of minutes I hear the soft music from her iPod deck, which Christian loaded with baby classical music. I knew he wouldn't be able to stick to the no bedtime story and no music punishment. My husband is quite the disciplinarian, always has been. But he'd developed a soft side when our kids came along. He would punish them if they needed it, but he would feel guilty afterward and try to comfort them. I know that he and Natalie are alright, so I decide to take a bath.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

When I open Natalie's door I see her lying on her side in her bed. She had kicked her blanket off, which she usually does in her sleep. She is crying, and I have to wonder if she's been crying this whole time. I had put her to bed over an hour ago. I walk over to her and pick her up without saying a word, and I sway with her in my arms. I rub her back and softly shush her, and she starts to calm down. She is still crying softly, so I tell her that we can listen to music for a couple minutes. I put the music on low and I sit on the glider with her in my lap. I start to rock and continue to rub her back while her head is rested against my chest. She continues to whimper, and then I smell it. Before I say anything she verbalizes something that I already know.

"Diapy" she cries.

"You need a new diaper?" I ask her, and she nods. I stand with her in my arms and lay her on her bed. She continues to cry and I can tell she is uncomfortable. I turn on her dim light, gather the stuff and make quick work to change her. When I remove her diaper I realize that this didn't just happen. She must have pooped right after I changed her. I immediately feel guilty because she has a rash and she is in pain. That is evident when I start to clean her off. She has a very hard time keeping still for me since her little bottom is red, and she is crying harder now. I try to move fast but I need to make sure I thoroughly clean her. When I am satisfied that she's clean I give her the choice between powder and cream. She opts for both, so I gently apply the cream and pour some powder on her.

Once I have her dressed again I lift her and hold her to my chest, swaying her and rubbing her back. This calms her down and she stops crying. I kiss her head a few times and then sit her in my lap again on the glider. It takes about fifteen minutes for her to fall asleep. My poor baby girl. I wanted her to learn that her behavior was unacceptable, but my punishment caused her to get a rash. I certainly didn't want that for her. My thoughts drift to my pregnant wife. I really do want another child with Ana. I want to be able to do it all again. The overnight feedings and changings, the bedtime stories, the laughing, and even the crying. I want the cuddling. I want my children to need me, like my Natalie needs me right now. I lean down and kiss the top of her head again. I love moments like this, just holding my child while she sleeps.

My happy thoughts transition into fearful thoughts as the music on the iPod switches to Baby Bach. I am so scared that this pregnancy is too risky for Ana. She wasn't supposed to be able to conceive. But somehow she has. I want Ana to have this baby, but I don't want to lose Ana. I can't. We have a lot to talk about. We'll need to meet with Dr Greene and discuss all of the risks and everything we can do to prevent that from happening.

I gently tuck Natalie back into bed and return to my wife.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I walk into my bedroom expecting to see my wife waiting for me, but she is not there. I sit on our bed and sulk for a few minutes, and then I realize she is in the bathtub. I feel a smirk on my face as I stand and walk to our bathroom to join her. When I walk in I look down at her, surrounded in a sea of bubble bath. She smiles up at me, looking so calm and relaxed. "How's Natalie?" My smile turns into a frown at her question, and she gives me a confused look. "What, what's wrong?"

I stand with my hands in my pockets and look down at my shoes. "She has a rash"

"What?"

"I changed her before I put her to bed, but she must've had a bowel movement after. That's why she was crying." I feel so damn guilty. If I didn't put her to bed early, I would have had her with me and I would have known she needed to be changed. Instead, I left her alone in her room and she had to suffer with a soiled diaper for an hour. I feel like such a shitty father sometimes.

"Join me" she simply says, but I don't deserve to join her. I continue to feel sorry for myself until she says it again. "Christian, please join me. Sit in front of me."

I sigh and do as she says. I drag my shirt over my head and notice the sexy grin on her face. I know she likes to watch me undress, but I'm not in the mood to put on a show. After I remove all of my clothes I climb into the tub and sit in front of her. This is actually a first for us, as I always have her sit in front of me when we take a bath together. She has me lean against her and rest the back of my head on her shoulder. She gently rubs her hand up and down my chest, and it feels soothing. Before Ana came along I never let anyone do this. It's amazing how much this one single person has changed my life. She's changed it for the better. She's helped me grow, she made me discover that I have a heart, and she's challenged me more than anyone else ever has. She wanted so badly to be able to touch me, and I could see how much it pained her that I wouldn't allow it. I loved her so much, too much to let that go on. So I gave her what she wanted. It took some time to adjust, but once I had gotten over the shock I started to enjoy her hands on me. I still flinch at sudden or unwanted touch. I don't think that will ever go away. But to have Ana and my kids able to touch and cuddle against my chest means everything. My Ana gave that to me. Before my wife came along, I was a lonely angry man running an empire from the top of my castle with submissives in my playroom. Her falling into my office was the best thing that had ever happened to me. She opened my eyes to just how wonderful _more_ could be. She is my savoir, my wife, and the mother of my children. She is my Ana. I can't lose her.

"Anastasia" I say softly, and she slows her pace with her hand on my chest.

"Yes Christian"

"I'm scared Baby"

She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on top of mine, after planting a few kisses in my hair. "Me too" I hear her say softly.


	3. Fifty Fighting

Christian's POV

I don't usually work on Saturdays, but I need to spend some time in my study responding to emails and putting a business plan together for an upcoming project on the east coast. I've been in here for an hour and I am nearly finished, but I stop when Phoebe knocks on the door. I allow her to come in even though I know I am going to dread this conversation. She came to me yesterday and told me about a road trip that she'd like to take with Trevor and his friends. I know she is growing up, but I don't feel comfortable allowing her to travel with her boyfriend for weeks, especially when they don't have a plan for where they will travel. I also do not find it appropriate for her to take a trip with a boy she's been dating for just four months.

I stop what I'm doing and watch her sit in one of the chairs. She looks like she is trying to hide the fact that she is nervous about a presentation that she's about to give. I have to wonder if she has rehearsed this conversation. This isn't right. I want her to be at ease when she talks to me. I'm her father, not some high school teacher that grades her papers. I offer her a smile, but she doesn't return it.

"What can I do for your, Peanut?" There, that did it. She breaks eye contact with me and lets out a sigh. I can't help the smirk that crosses my face. Calling her Peanut just has this effect on her. She stops being my teenaged daughter and becomes my little girl again.

"Dad, stop. This is a serious matter" she whines. I don't like when she whines, but I certainly have given her good reason to.

"I apologize. What would you like to talk about?"

"The road trip"

"No" I dismiss it right away. I don't want part two of last night's argument. It got so bad that we wound up shouting at each other. I took her cell phone away and sent her to her room for the tone she'd used with me.

"Dad" she whines again, and I can't help but scowl at her.

"The answer is no. I'm sorry Phoebe, but I don't want you going on a road trip at your age."

"Dad, all of the kids that are going _are_ my age. And you know Trevor. You can meet his friends too if you want."

"No, Phoebe" I say raising my voice, and now she is scowling at me.

"What are you afraid of?" she challenges me. Does she want the list? I shake my head and run my hand through my hair. I lower my voice to answer her.

"You are not old enough to be on your own. A lot of bad things can happen that you are not prepared to deal with. Plus, you have the paparazzi out there that will follow you around and ensure that your picture will be on the cover of every tabloid on every newsstand. And once it is out there that Phoebe Grey is out there gallivanting, you'll have all the creeps and low lifes just eager to kidnap you for ransom and do god knows what to you. There are bad people out there, Phoebe, disgusting people that would like nothing more than to hurt a young girl like you and to hurt our family simply because we are wealthy. I'm sorry, Phoebe, but you are way too young and ill prepared to be out there on your own."

I watch her squirm in her seat. Good, maybe now she will let this go. I watch her stand and walk toward the door of my study. Before she leaves she turns to me. "It's nice to know you have that much faith in me."

"Christ, Phoebe!" I stand and my sudden movement knocks my chair into the cabinet behind me, I am so mad. "This has nothing to do with my faith in you. I have a lot of faith in you. It is what is out there that scares me." I point in the other direction for emphasis. She still looks hurt as she leaves my study, and all I can do is sink down in my chair and run both hands through my hair. That girl becomes more and more challenging every day. She is so much like her mother was when I met her, very innocent yet very headstrong. I know she doesn't like it, but I need to protect her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I walk into the kitchen and see my wife at the sink. I surprise her when I take her in my arms and find her lips with mine. It takes her a few seconds, but she responds, and boy does she feel good. I don't stop, and neither does she. She allows me to lose myself in her for a minute or two before we both separate and work to catch our breaths. She starts to giggle. God, how I love that sound. I can't help but grin at her. I kiss her forehead and then glance over at the breakfast bar. Natalie is sitting in her booster seat eating cheerios, completely oblivious to what her mother and I are doing. This time I let out a light giggle.

"How's she doing?" I am referring to her rash. I feel so damn guilty about that. I reach up and tuck a strand of Ana's hair behind her ear and wait for her to respond.

"She's fine, Christian. The rash isn't even that bad. And she didn't put up a fuss when I changed her this morning."

I feel slightly relieved at that. "You think I overreacted?"

She leans up on her tippy toes so that our faces are almost level, and brushes her nose against mine, teasing me. "Don't you always?"

I feel the urge to slap her bottom, but I suppress the urge since Natalie is in the room. I don't want her to see that and start asking questions. Instead I lean in close to her ear and whisper "only where my wife and kids are concerned, Mrs Grey"

I feel her slightly shiver, and I can't help but grin at the fact that the sound of my voice just does things to her. I put distance between us and walk over to the breakfast bar to join my baby girl.

"Daddy!" she smiles. She's happy to see me. I lean down and kiss her forehead, and she reaches her arms up for a hug. I can never resist this type of affection from my kids, so I sit in a chair next to her and I wrap my arms around her.

"Hi, Sweet Pea. Daddy's very happy to see you."

Ana brings two plates to the table with omelets and sits on the stool next to me. The three of us enjoy breakfast together, but someone is missing. "Did you talk to Phoebe this morning?" I ask my wife.

Ana blots her lips with her napkin before she answers. "Yes, I did. She came and talked to me while I was dressing Natalie. She's really focused on this road trip."

I stop eating and I scowl, but I really don't mean to. I just really hate this idea and I wish Phoebe wouldn't press the issue so strongly. Usually when I tell her no about something, she walks away and pouts since she knows I don't like pouting. But then she would let it go and move onto something else. This is different. She really wants this, so much that she went as far as engaging in a shouting match with me. I put my fork down and rub my napkin between my hands, even though my hands are not greasy or dirty. "I told her no, Ana. I've told her twice now. Why won't she let this go?"

Ana brings her hand up and rubs my back. "This is something that she really wants. She's not seeing the big picture of how dangerous this could be. The only bad she's seen was with Jay and Braxton. And that's nothing compared to what can happen to her out there." I grimace when she brings up Jay and Braxton, but I let her continue. "We've kept her safe and sheltered all of her life. We've monitored everything she's read or seen on television and in movies. We kept all things that are bad away from her. So, she's completely oblivious to what's really out there, and just how dangerous the real world can be."

I continue to scowl. "Are you saying we shouldn't have done that? Should we have given her a taste of the real world and all of the scum that is in it so that she wouldn't go looking for trouble? I know, maybe we should tell her about the time Jack Hyde kidnapped you and Mia, or when Leila held a gun to you…"

"Christian please" she interrupts me, but I keep going.

"…. or when one of my ex-employees tried to kidnap her when she was a baby."

"Christian" she shouts, and then she looks over at Natalie. Natalie looks up at me and looks a bit frightened but keeps eating her cheerios. I reach over and gently run my hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry Baby" I say to our little girl gently. "Mommy and Daddy didn't mean to shout." I look at my distraught wife and a wave of guilt washes over me again. She doesn't need this, nor does she deserve it. She's pregnant, which is causing enough stress for her right now. "I'm sorry" I mouth to her softly. I reach over and place my hand on top of hers. "I'm sorry, that was harsh. I'm just…. I don't want her to do this. And I need her to see that it is not just me being mean, but it's me trying to protect her. How do I make her see that?"

She sighs and looks down at our hands, and I know that we will have a challenge on our hands. I don't want Phoebe to be mad at me, but I can't give into this. I look over at Natalie and she has finished her cheerios.

"All done" she says with so much pride I can't help but smile at her.

"Good girl. Would you like some chocolate milk?" She nods and pushes her bowl away. I look over at my wife and see that she is still distraught. Fuck! I should not have brought up all of the bad shit from our past. I know she is remembering something, and not a good something. I let out a sigh. "I'll get it." I stand and kiss Ana's head before I move to the refrigerator for the milk and chocolate. I am just screwing up left and right lately. I can't wait for Teddy to come home from college. He and Rebecca had decided to stay at Harvard a few extra weeks for a summer course. I love my three girls but I can certainly use the presence of my male son to level things out a bit more. Maybe he can help get Phoebe's mind off this road trip, or at least help me talk some sense into her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe walks into her room and finds her cell phone sitting on her dresser. _When did Dad put this here?_ She picks it up and looks at it for a moment, but then puts it down again to fire up her laptop. She wants to talk to Teddy, but he's not on line. She picks up her cell again and sends him a text, asking him if he has time to skype. She waits for a few minutes for him to respond, but he doesn't. She lets out a long annoyed sigh, but then notices that he is on line. She sees his face appear on her screen and she has to work hard to keep her emotions in check. She misses him, especially now since she is fighting with her father. Teddy is always so good at helping her when she and their father don't see eye to eye.

"What's wrong Phoebs?" he asks her. He immediately knows that something is wrong when he sees her face.

Phoebe can no longer stop the tears from falling. She quickly wipes them away so that she can talk to her brother. "Dad and I are fighting" she manages to say.

"About what?"

"He is so overprotective, Teddy. He won't let me do anything. I feel so trapped in this house sometimes, like I'm missing out on some great things because he fears for my safety."

Teddy gives her a moment to calm down before he speaks. "He loves us, Phoebs. I know he seems over the top sometimes, but he just wants to make sure we are safe." Phoebe takes a few breaths to calm herself, and she looks down and away from the screen. "How did this fight start?"

Phoebe looks up at the ceiling and takes in a long breath. "I um, asked him if I could take a road trip with Trevor."

"And you honestly believed he would say yes?"

_Is he laughing at me?_ "Teddy, please. I don't need this right now. This is something that I really want. It's something that I need to do." She says the last part softly, but Teddy heard her.

"You're not thinking of taking off, are you?" Phoebe looks away from him again and thinks about it. "Phoebe, no. Please don't do this. You know this would kill him."

"Teddy, I feel suffocated in this house. Mom and Dad and security constantly watching me, I can't even go on a date with Trevor without Sawyer tagging along. I don't want to wait until college to have the freedom that you have."

Teddy laughs this time, and Phoebe gets annoyed. "I don't have that much freedom. Ryan follows me everywhere. Rebecca and I have just gotten used to it."

"How do you get used to a guy watching you kiss your girlfriend, like you and Rebecca are doing something wrong?"

Teddy is able to contain his laughter and tries to help his sister. "You need to forget that Sawyer is there when you are kissing Trevor. He's not there to break Trevor's kneecaps, unless Trevor hurts you. He's there to keep all of the other creeps away from you." Phoebe nods and looks down again. She was hoping Teddy would support her decision to take a road trip, but this conversation is not going in that direction. "What are you going to do, Phoebe?"

"I'm going to allow this house to swallow me whole."

"Phoebe" he lightly scolds.

"I'm going to meet with Trevor today, let him know that this isn't a good idea."

Teddy smiles, hoping that Phoebe will return the smile. But she doesn't. "Phoebe, you don't see it now, but maybe someday you will. Dad just loves us so much. It is not his wish to have us miss out on things, just the things that will put us in danger."

"Sometimes I think he loves us a little too much" she says softly.

"Teddy looks away from his laptop and then looks back at his sister. "Phoebs, I have to go. When I come home next week, we'll spend the entire day together, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Teddy"

Phoebe closes her laptop and lets out a long sigh. She looks over and stares at a notepad that she keeps on her desk. She takes some time to look around her room, and her eyes find the notepad again. She picks it up, walks over to her bed and sits down, still staring at it. She begins to write what comes to mind.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian takes Natalie to her room around two in the afternoon and tells her that she needs to take a nap. He is pleased when she doesn't put up a fight like she usually does on the weekend. It is always difficult to pull her away from her toys for naptime, but he knows it is necessary if he wants his baby girl to be in a happy mood for the rest of the day. He tucks her in and makes sure she has her favorite stuffed animal, a soft teddy bear that Teddy had given her before he had to move away for college. She closes her eyes and he gently kisses her forehead before he leaves the room.

Once he's in the hallway he is met with his distraught wife. "What's wrong, Baby? Did you talk to Phoebe?"

Ana doesn't answer, but she hands him a note that Phoebe had left for them. He looks at his wife and then down at the letter that is in Phoebe's hand writing.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_  
_You have taught me so many things that I will carry _  
_with me forever. But one thing you haven't_  
_taught me is to be self-sufficient. We've_  
_always had things done for us. We've always had security_  
_look out for us and keep us safe. I never had to worry about where my next _  
_meal was coming from or where I was going to sleep. You've made it so _  
_the only thing I had to concentrate on was my education._  
_I love you so much, please don't ever doubt that. I_  
_hate going against your wishes, but I had to do this,_  
_for me. I have always had this bad anxiety about_  
_being away from you. Even spending one night away from _  
_you was torture. But next year, I will be going to college._  
_I haven't decided where I will be studying, but I know _  
_where ever that is, it will require me to be away from you._  
_I need to know that I can do that. This is the only way _  
_I will know if I can live successfully at a four year college,_  
_or if I will need to live with my parents and attend_  
_community college. This isn't just a way of being with_  
_my boyfriend, it's not about that. But I will be with Trevor_  
_and we will take care of each other on this road trip. I trust him,_  
_but I am not naïve. I would never do something that I don't want_  
_to do. I wish you would give me more credit than that._  
_I will be home in a few weeks, and I will make contact to let_  
_you know that I am okay. Please don't try to track me_  
_down. I don't want that. I want you to trust me and_  
_trust that I can do this. Please? I love you so much. And I _  
_want you to be proud of me. Please don't be mad._

_Love, Phoebe Grace Grey_


	4. Fifty Arse

Christian's POV

I hold the letter in my hand and read it about five times. Ana is watching me the whole time, but my focus is solely on the letter. I can feel the panic start to rise in my chest. My daughter took off, and she left us with a note. She wants to learn to be self-sufficient. Why the fuck does she want that? She's been damn lucky to live such a life to not have to do everything for herself. She wants to worry about her next meal and where she will sleep? What, she wants to live like she's poor? Why? She doesn't eat or sleep enough as it is. She justifies going away with the fact that she'll be going to college soon. So what? When she goes to college I'll be sending _two_ guards to keep an eye on her. That is, if she lives long enough to attend college. I clutch my chest at the thought of my daughter being found dead in some ditch. She left without security, nobody to keep her safe. But wait, she goes on to say that she and Trevor will take care of each other. Yeah right. I'm supposed to trust this Trevor kid with my daughter's life? Aside from having him over for dinner and the information in his and his family's background check, I don't really know this kid. How do I know that he's capable of protecting my daughter? I feel the rage start to build in my body, quickly replacing my fear.

"Taylor" I shout, and I fail to see my wife flinch at my sudden outburst. Taylor quickly makes his way to the second floor to find us standing outside of Natalie's bedroom. We can hear Natalie crying for Ana, probably because she heard me yell.

"Sir"

"Phoebe's gone. She left this. We need to find her."

I pace as Taylor reads the letter, and Ana goes to put Natalie back to sleep. Ana joins us when Taylor finishes the letter. "We should move this downstairs and away from Natalie's room" she says to me, and I can hear the quiver in her voice. I turn away from them and start walking toward the steps, and they follow. I run both of my hands through my hair and I don't care that I am pulling hard at my hair.

"When was the last time you spoke with Phoebe?" Taylor asks me. We reach the top of the stairs and walk down to the first floor.

"In my study, this morning before breakfast. She wanted to talk about this fucking road trip with Trevor and his friends." I turn around when we reach the bottom of the steps and now I am practically shouting. "I told her no, God damn it I told her no, that she was not prepared to be on her own like that. What the hell is she thinking?"

I grab my hair again and pull at it. It's fucking amazing that I still have hair after everything that girl has put me through. Ana closes the distance between us and puts her arms around my waste. I put one arm around her to comfort her, but it is not much comfort to me. I look up at Taylor and wait for him to speak.

"We should check with Teddy and Ava, see if they've heard from her. She didn't take her phone with her, Sir"

"Of course she didn't." I can't keep the sarcasm out of my voice. Of course she didn't take her phone. She knows I could track her phone and her car in an instant. Which means her car is most likely still here. I run out to the garage and check, leaving Ana to check with Teddy and Ava. I run the entire distance between my foyer and the outside garage, and I stop there to catch my breath. I sprinted, trying to get here as fast as possible, hoping to not see her car here. But as I catch my breath I look up and spot her car. Once again the panic starts to rise. The only two things I could use to track her were left at the house. And now she is out there with no phone, no security and no reliable transportation. I walk back into the house to find Ana on skype with Teddy.

"Hi Dad" Teddy says when he sees me. Ana is sitting at the breakfast bar and I am standing behind her.

"Son, when's the last time you talked to your sister?"

"Earlier today. She was talking to me about the road trip. Dad, I tried to talk her out of it, and I thought she listened."

I look at my son and see his pained expression. This is not his fault, and I don't want him to worry about this. There is nothing he can do from the other side of the country. I run my hand through my hair, and I'm a little more gentle about it this time. "I know you tried son. Don't worry, we'll find her. She couldn't have gone far."

"Teddy, if you hear from her could you please let us know right away?" Ana pleads with him.

"I will Mom. Please find her."

We finish skyping with Teddy, and it is when Ana shuts her laptop that she starts to sob. I turn her around and get her to stand up so that I could hold her. I sway side to side and hold her tight as I rest my chin on top of her head. "We're going to find her, Baby. We will."

She pulls away from me and sniffles. "How? She doesn't want to be found, Christian. Where do we even start to look for her?"

I think about that for a few minutes as I take her in my arms again and hold her. I honestly have no idea where to look for her. One thing's for sure, I can't get law enforcement involved. Once law enforcement is involved, the media will be involved. And every enemy of mine and every predator will be out looking for her. I can't let that happen. I won't.

"Did you call Ava?" I ask her softly and kiss the top of her head.

"Yes, she hasn't heard from Phoebe. In fact, she is now pissed off at her cousin for not bringing her along."

The irony is not lost on me. Ava would have definitely been on board with this. She is actually more likely to pull this on my brother than my daughter is to pull this on me. This isn't like Phoebe at all. I have to wonder if this Trevor kid was pressuring her to do this. Either way, my daughter will be in a lot of trouble when she gets home.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A week has gone by and Christian and Ana have not heard from Phoebe. They've spent the past week using their resources to find her, sending out security to check specific locations and the bridge tolls to see if there is any sign of her or Trevor. They had found his car. He had ditched it at a bus station. That means they are traveling by bus and taxi and possibly hitch hiking. That hasn't gone over well with Christian. He has been growing more and more agitated by the day, yelling at the staff and snapping at Ana and Natalie. He has also started growing a beard, sleeping less, skipping showers and skipping meals. He hasn't been performing well at work, losing deals left and right. But he doesn't care about any of that. He is focused on the fact that his daughter left him. She left the safety and security of her parents and her home, and he has not been able to find her. He is starting to lose hope, and more and more of himself every day.

Christian and Ana are in their bedroom, and Christian is sitting on their bed staring off into space. Ana brings Natalie into the room from their bathroom after giving her a bath. She puts her down in front of Christian with a towel wrapped around her.

"Christian, could you get her dressed please? I'm running late." Despite the fact that her daughter is out there on her own, Ana has been going to work. Christian stops staring into space and looks down at his daughter. She has a mischievous smile on her face, completely oblivious to what is going on with her parents and her sister.

"Come, Natalie. Let's get you dressed" Christian says to her as he reaches behind him for her diaper and clothes.

Natalie giggles and runs away from him, ditching the towel so that she can run around their room naked. She wants to play, but Christian is not in the mood.

"Natalie, come here now and get dressed" he demands, but Natalie doesn't register his serious tone. She thinks this is a game, so she continues to run around. She giggles louder when he stands and starts to chase her. She doesn't see that he is getting angrier with her running from him. She still giggles when he catches her and picks her up, unaware of his foul mood. He sits on the bed and swats her bottom twice and hard, which makes her cry.

Ana emerges from the bathroom and immediately scolds her husband. "Christian!"

Christian puts Natalie on the bed and starts to put her diaper on her, not doing anything to comfort her as she cries. Ana grows more angry and pushes him out the way. "Move, I'll do it."

"Ana" he complains, but she ignores him and goes about dressing Natalie. "What?"

Ana glares at him after putting a dress on Natalie. "Christian, go take a shower. You need to cool down, and frankly… you stink." She whispers the last part since she doesn't want Natalie to hear and repeat it. Christian gives her a confused look and watches her walk out of the room with Natalie in her arms.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian walks into the kitchen and over to his wife at the counter. He is freshly showered so the room starts to fill with his shower wash scent. Ana would normally drink in the scent of her husband, wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him passionately, but not today. She is angry with for the way he has been acting lately, but she's yet to verbalize her feelings.

"Satisfied?" he asks her when he stands next to her. She has been preparing breakfast for the three of them in silence.

She looks over at him and doesn't make a move to be affectionate. "I made an appointment with Flynn" she tells him. "I want you to come with me."

"Why, so that I can sit in the waiting room while you tell Flynn what a complete ass I am?"

"Christian, please don't be so cold. I need you." She looks at him with pained eyes and hopes that he will soften, but he doesn't.

"Fine" he says and walks toward his study. Ana sighs and wipes a few tears away.

"Time for breakfast" she says softly to herself and serves herself and Natalie some pancakes. She leaves some pancakes for Christian in case he decides to eat, but she is once again disappointed when she and Natalie finish their pancakes with no sign of Christian emerging from his study. Ana covers her face with her hands and almost cries, but she suppresses it since she is with Natalie.

"Mommy?"

"Yes Baby" she snaps out of it and manages to smile at Natalie.

"Are you sad?"

"Yes, Baby. I'm sad that Phoebe isn't here." Ana reaches over and gently runs her hand through her baby girl's hair.

"When is she coming back?"

Ana has to suppress a cry again to answer her. "A few weeks. But you know what? Teddy will be home tonight. And I know he can't wait to see you."

"Yeah" Natalie cheers with excitement. Ana cleans her up and allows her to go and play with her toys. She asks Gail to watch her while she and Christian go to their appointment.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

At Doctor Flynn's office, Ana decides that she wants Christian to be in the room with them, which surprises both John and Christian. Christian is silent as he listens to his wife talk to Flynn about Phoebe going on the road trip against their wishes. He is sitting in the chair next to hers with his leg crossed over the other, his elbow leaning on the arm and his hand supporting his head. He is frowning since Ana has started to talk about him and the way he has been over the past couple of days.

"Christian" John addresses him, but he keeps his body still and his frown on his face. "Why do you think Phoebe did this?"

Christian takes a moment to think about the question before he responds. "My daughter wishes to be self-sufficient. That is what she wrote in the letter."

"Yes, that is what she wrote in the letter. Ana has said that Phoebe tried to talk to you twice about this road trip. During those conversations, did she have an opportunity to tell you how she feels?"

Once again, Christian has to take a moment to answer the question. He is taken back to the conversations that he and Phoebe had about this. The first one turned into a shouting match, and the second one ended with her leaving his office thinking he didn't have any faith in her. "She doesn't think I give her enough credit, John. She thinks she can handle this on her own, but she can't. She is still a child."

"I didn't ask you how you feel. I asked you if she told you how she feels."

Christian grows more angry and even lets out a growl. "I heard what you said."

"Christian" Ana scolds, and Christian temporarily glares at her.

"It's okay, Ana" John says as he waves off Christian's rudeness. "Let's talk about you then. How do you feel about your daughter taking this road trip?"

"I am fucking pissed, John. She should not be out there on her own without security. She should not have left home against our wishes. It is torture not to be able to pick up the phone and talk to her, make sure she is safe. And to yell at her for doing this."

John nods and looks pleased. He pauses before he asks his next question. "What are you angry about? Angry that she left, or angry that she defied you?"

Christian grits his teeth. "Both"

"Well" John says. "I suggest you work to suppress that anger. You still have your wife, your daughter Natalie, and your son Teddy, and this baby on the way, and they all need you. You and Ana will need to draw your strength from each other, and your kids will draw your strength from you." This doesn't do anything to settle Christian. He goes back to crossing his leg over the other and resting his chin on his fist. "Christian, your wife wanted to come here today to talk this out, but she also has something she needs to tell you."

Christian looks over at Ana and doesn't soften his expression, even though she looks like a nervous wreck. "Go ahead, Ana" John presses her.

A single tear runs down Ana's cheek before she begins to speak. "I went and saw Dr Greene this weekend. You were supposed to come with me, but you weren't around. Anyway, she said that everything is fine, that I'm not at risk right now." She looks down at her stomach and rubs her hand over where her bump is starting to show. "As long as I keep a good diet, get enough sleep and lay off the stress….. she said I have high blood pressure, and I've never had that with any of my pregnancies. I know it has to do with Phoebe being gone."

Christian doesn't change his expression. He still looks angry and cold, as if he's not even listening to her. She continues anyway.

"There's something else" she says and then looks at John. He nods at her, encouraging her to continue. "Teddy called me last night. He said he heard from Phoebe."

Christian leans up in his chair upon hearing this. "He heard from Phoebe? When?"

"Last night" she says softly.

"Ana! What the…. Why would you keep that from me?" Christian is even angrier now, and Ana has to look away from him. She looks down at her lap like a child does while being scolded. "I can't believe this. Why, Ana? Why would you keep this from me?"

"This is why, Christian!" she shouts as multiple tears run down her face. "Because you react like this. You shout at me and you snap at me, ever since Phoebe took off you've become this monster." Ana stops and works to regain some composure. "You don't come to bed anymore, you don't eat with me, you don't shower every day. You've stopped taking care of yourself. And Natalie? This morning she tried to be playful with you, and you saw it as defiance and smacked her. She needs her father Christian, and I need my husband. I can't do this alone."

Ana's speech does nothing to soften Christian's position. He is still angry about Phoebe leaving, and now he is angry at Ana for keeping news of Phoebe's call from him. They leave Dr Flynn's office without accomplishing anything other than adding fuel to the fire that is Christian's temper.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Ana arrive home. They had argued during their ride home and they are still arguing as they emerge from the car.

Ana slams her door shut and follows her husband to the front of their house, with Taylor keeping his distance from the couple. "Christian, why did you fire Sawyer? It wasn't even his fault. You gave him the day off last Saturday when Phoebe left."

Christian turns and faces his wife to justify his decision. "I fired Sawyer because I don't need him anymore."

"He's been loyal to us for twenty years. How could you just let him go like that?" she fires back.

"Ana, I said I don't need him anymore. I kept him on staff to watch over and protect Phoebe, but now that she's taken off, we don't need him to do that anymore."

"What about when Phoebe comes back?" Ana challenges him. "Won't we need him then?"

Christian lets out an evil chuckle. "Anastasia, when Phoebe comes home, the first thing I'm going to do is have her fitted for a permanent ankle monitor. She will never be allowed to leave the house, so, we won't need Sawyer."

Christian turns and stomps toward the front door of the house with Ana behind him. "You can't do that, Christian!" she yells at him.

"Can't I?" he asks as he looks over his shoulder at her. They approach the front of the house, and he is brought out of his angry brooding when he hears Natalie scream and cry. He sees her lying on the pavement in front of their front steps with Gail tending to her. Christian runs over and is by her side in an instant. "What happened" he asks Gail frantically. He looks down and sees blood gushing from his baby girl's chin. She also has a scrape on her knee. Christian cradles her in his arms and carries her over to the steps so he can sit with her cradled in his lap. Ana rushes over and sits next to him.

"Sir, I'm so sorry. We were playing with her new tricycle. She let go and fell right off." Taylor is by Gail's side now and tries to comfort her.

"Could you get the first aid kit please?" he asks them, and they rush into the house to retrieve it. Ana grabs some tissues from her purse and hands them to Christian so that he can cover the cut on Natalie's chin. He holds the tissue in place and bounces her in his lap as she cries out in pain and fear.

"Shhh" he tries to soothe her. "It's okay, Sweat Pea. Everything's going to be okay."

Ana looks at Christian and is amazed at his sudden mood change. It took their daughter getting hurt for him to open his eyes and see that she and Natalie were still there with him. Gone is the irate inconsolable man that constantly snapped at them, and in his place is the concerned loving parent cooing his injured daughter and trying to calm her. Natalie's loud cries start to turn into soft whimpers before Gail emerges with the first aid kit. They work together to gently clean her cuts and cover them with band aids.

Gail excuses herself and walks back into the house, leaving Christian and Ana with their baby girl. Ana puts her arms around her husband's arm and rests her head on his shoulder. "What have I done, Ana?" he asks her softly with Natalie still cradled in his lap."

Ana shrugs before she answers. "You checked out for a bit there, Grey. You let your anger take over."

Christian looks down at Natalie and then back at his wife. "I'm sorry Ana. I've been so awful to you. To both of you." He looks down at Natalie again and feels his wife hold him tighter. "I'm just so angry with Phoebe for leaving. This has to be the biggest and scariest thing she's ever done. I'm scared for her, Ana."

"I'm scared too, Christian."

Christian lets out a sigh, like he's been holding his breath all week. "She has to come home. She has to be okay, right? What did she say to Teddy?"

Ana keeps her place next to him with her head on his shoulder. "She said that she's doing okay, that she doesn't want us to worry, and that she loves us."

"Nothing about where she is?" Christian asks with disappointment. "I've been such and…. arse" he says after looking down at Natalie and realizing that he has to watch what he says. "I'm going to do better, I promise. I'm going to be there for you and our kids."

Ana smiles. "Glad to hear it."

Christian feels a tiny hand on his chin and looks down at Natalie again. "I don't like this" she says, referring to his beard. Christian and Ana both laugh.

"Should Daddy shave his beard?" Natalie nods. Christian leans down and kisses her forehead. He then leans to his right and kisses his wife, a long overdue kiss that they let last until Natalie complains.

"Daddy"

Ana giggles when they have to stop their kiss. "I love that sound" he says to her. He stands with Natalie still cradled in his arms and walks into the house with his wife.


	5. Fifty Coping

Phoebe and Trevor arrive at a hotel with his friends somewhere in Northern California. Phoebe looks around as they walk across the dark parking lot, and this is the first time in the ten days that they've been on the road that she feels nervous about the lack of security. She can hear people shouting obscenities, which is not something she's used to. She's heard some choice words come out of her father's mouth, but nothing like this. She can hear a woman screaming, like she is being beaten.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Phoebe whispers to Trevor as he unlocks the door to their hotel room.

"Phoebe, we can't get involved."

"But that sounds so horrible" Phoebe says as they hear the distinct sound of glass breaking. Phoebe flinches.

"Baby, you are great for wanting to help. But we don't know those people. They could be crazy, they could have a gun…."

One of Trevor's friends overhears and teases him. "In that case maybe you should check it out, Trev."

"Fuck off" he says to them and then turns back to Phoebe and gives her an apologetic look. She doesn't like when he talks like that. "Come on, let's get away from these clowns."

Trevor leads Phoebe into their room, switches the light on and locks the door behind him. He watches Phoebe slowly walk into the room and take in her surroundings. The pillows on the bed are flat and worn. The bedspread is dirty and it smells like wet socks. Phoebe scrunches her face but quickly recovers when Trevor positions himself in front of her. "Finally, we are alone."

"Yeah" she says nervously and looks around the room again. The lampshade by the bed has a few holes in it and some of the dresser drawers are missing handles. All of the places they've stayed while on the road were in similar conditions, but this is the first time they get a room to themselves without having to share with some of his friends. This is the first time she is really alone with him without security, friends or family members.

He takes her hands in his and tries to get her to relax. "I know we talked about this, but if you don't want to…."

"Yes I do. I'm just…. I need to freshen up. I'm not feeling very attractive after being in the car all day."

Trevor leans in close to her face. "You are always attractive to me." He kisses her slowly and gently, and she wraps her arms around his neck and returns the kiss. As he kisses her, he can feel her body start to relax, so he reaches around in front of her and removes her jacket. Their lips part momentarily as he slides the jacket off of her. Next he fingers the hem of her shirt, and she raises her arms, giving him permission to remove it. They continue to kiss, and his tongue starts to invade her mouth. She places her hand on the back of his head to deepen the kiss, and then feels his fingers on the hem of her jeans.

She stops the kiss and places her hand on his chest. He doesn't say anything to her, just stares into her blue eyes as he catches his breath. She reaches up and slowly unbuttons his shirt. When there are only two buttons left she tilts her head up again and kisses him. She removes his shirt and it falls to the floor. Trevor places his hands on Phoebe's hips and trails kisses down her cheek, down her neck and down her throat, and smiles when he hears her groan. He doesn't want to scare her, so he slowly picks her up at her thighs and wraps her legs around him. She smiles and reciprocates by trailing kisses down his cheek, his neck and his throat.

He walks over to the bed and lays her down, climbs on top of her and resumes kissing as much of her body that she will allow. When he reaches her stomach he unzips her jeans and slowly removes them. Phoebe starts to feel nervous about this, but she allows him to continue. He trails kisses down her thigh until he reaches her knee, and then does the same with the other thigh. When he places his hand on the hem of her panties he feels her flinch, so he stops and climbs on top of her again. His lips find hers and he kisses her slowly and gently. As he kisses her he tries for her panties again, but she panics and tries to push him off of her.

"No, I can't, I can't, I'm sorry" she says breathlessly. She sits up and grabs her head in panic and embarrassment.

"It's okay" he coos. "Baby calm down, it's okay." He removes her hands from her head and holds them in his. "Breathe" Phoebe does as she's told and looks him in the eye as she breathes. She just wants to crawl up in a ball and cry. She wanted so badly to have sex with him, and she thought she was ready. But her body is telling her otherwise.

"I'm sorry Trevor" she says softly when she is able to catch her breath. He picks his shirt up off the floor and helps her put it on. "I don't know what happened, I…."

"It's okay. You don't need to explain. You're not ready."

"I thought I was. I really wanted to do this."

"So did I" he says to her and watches her button up the shirt. "But I don't want to do anything you are not ready for. We'll just wait."

Phoebe looks up and gives him a shocked expression. "You'll wait?"

Trevor chuckles. "Phoebe, do you honestly think I'm with you just to have sex with you? We've been going out for four months and we haven't had sex. What does that tell you?"

Phoebe looks away from him and pouts. "I'm sorry. It's just that guys talk about sex all the time, like it is super important to be having it, and if you're not, you're not cool."

Trevor moves and sits next to her, puts his arm around her and kisses her cheek. "My friends are asses, Phoebe. I've been friends with them since kindergarten, so I don't see myself distancing myself from them just because they are focused on sex. This is just high school, I'm sure they'll grow out of it."

Phoebe is still pouting, but she chances a look at her boyfriend. "Are they going to give you a hard time because your girlfriend doesn't put out?"

Trevor tightens his grip around her. "Put out? Phoebe, please don't talk like that. You are not some _thing_ I am going to come home to do every Friday night. You are my girlfriend, and I feel great when I am with you. I know it's only been four months, but it is definitely the longest relationship I've had. I think we are good together. And when we are both ready, we will do it. Okay?" He smiles and kisses her nose.

"Okay" she returns the smile and kisses him.

When Trevor pulls his face away from hers, he looks down at his shirt on Phoebe and tugs on it. "I like my shirt on you."

Phoebe starts to relax and giggles before kissing him again.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Ana bathe Natalie together since they know she will fuss about the cuts on her chin and knee. Ana sits in the bath with her as they wash her together, careful to avoid her cuts. Ana keeps her distracted with bath toys while Christian washes her hair. She cries when the soap drips down her face and over her cuts, so Christian scrambles to get a cold wet wash cloth to cover the cut. Ana looks at him with appreciation, but he is focused on Natalie's cut and doesn't notice. She watches him as he talks to her and calms her down, and a single tear drips down her face. Once Natalie is settled he looks at his wife and sees the tear.

"Baby what's wrong?" he asks her softly.

"Nothing" she says, bringing the back of her hand to her nose and leaving some bubbles on her face. Christian laughs, grabs a hand towel and gently wipes the soap bubbles away. "Thank you."

"I think we're done in here. I'll take her and get her dressed. You relax" he commands as he lifts Natalie out of the tub. He grabs a towel, dries her off and lifts her again. Ana watches her husband leave their bathroom with Natalie in his arms, and feels another tear forming when he makes their daughter giggle. _He's tickling her._

Ana stands at the doorway to Natalie's bedroom and melts at what she sees. She will never get enough of seeing Christian with their children. Natalie is cuddled in his lap and he is reading one of her books to her. Ana continues to watch and listen as he settles their daughter and puts her to bed. Christian doesn't realize that she is standing there until after he kisses Natalie good night and walks out of her room. "How long have you been standing here?"

"Long enough to fall in love with you all over again" she murmurs. Christian leans his forehead against hers. "This week has been so dark Christian. I can't go through that again. I need you."

Christian takes her hand in both of his and kisses her knuckles. "I need you too. And I need our daughter to come home." He lets out a long frustrated sigh. "Anastasia, every minute she's out there, I…. I find it hard to breathe. I don't know where she is and I don't know what she's doing. I hate not having that control. It….. it terrifies me."

Ana reaches up and runs her hand through his hair and down his cheek. She then runs her hand over his ever growing facial hair. "I know this hurts. It hurts me too. I worry about her every minute of every day. But we can't give up, Christian. We need to take care of ourselves and each other, we need to work and have proper meals and get a decent amount of sleep. Phoebe would want us to do that."

Christian frowns at the mention of Phoebe, but then looks at his wife and gets an idea. "I need you to do something for me."

"What is it?"

"Come" he commands and takes her hand, leading her back to their bedroom. At first Ana thinks he wants kinky sex, but he doesn't stop in their bedroom. Instead, he picks up a chair and leads her into the bathroom. He leaves go of her hand and pulls some things out of their bathroom closet. When he brings them over to the counter she starts to understand what he wants.

"You want me to shave you?"

"Yes" he answers her quickly as he sets everything down and grabs a towel.

"You sure?"

Christian walks over to Ana and places his hands on her hips. "I think we can both use this, don't you?" Ana nods, and Christian briefly kisses her.

"I could certainly do without having you kiss me with that thing on your face" she teases.

"Could you now?" he teases back and rubs his face up and down her cheek, causing her to giggle. "I will never get tired of that sound. Now, Mrs Grey" he says as he takes both of her hands in his and holds them between their chests. "Will you shave me?"

"With pleasure, Mr Grey. Sit" she commands, and he does what he is told. She takes the towel from him and wraps it around his neck. "Head back." She slowly rubs the shaving cream over his facial hair, concentrating hard on where her fingers are and not on his eyes, which are staring into hers at the moment. Once his face is covered she rinses her hands and grabs the razor. "Ready?"

"Mmmm" he gently moans in response.

"I'll take that as a yes." He closes his eyes as she starts to shave him. She is careful with every stroke not to cut him. When she is finished she is pleased with herself and what she sees. She takes a moment to take in the site of her beautiful husband's face. His eyes are still closed, and she watches a smile slowly form on his face. "Done"

He opens is eyes and immediately finds Ana's. They smile at each other before he stands and positions himself in front of her. "Better?"

"Much" she says and wraps her arms around his neck. He kisses her softly and sweetly.

"Thank you Mrs Grey."

"We should head down stairs" she says to him. "Teddy will be here any minute." The sound of his name changes Christian's mood. His son had heard from Phoebe and didn't contact him to let him know. He is still burned by that and fully intends to have a talk with his son about it. Ana can sense the change in his mood. "Christian, I know you are upset about Phoebe, but our son is coming home tonight. Can we please be happy about that, just for tonight?"

Christian frowns, but he nods in agreement. Ana wraps her arms around him and hugs him tight.


	6. Fifty Emotions

Teddy arrives home around eleven and is greeted by his mother. Ana embraces him and has tears in her eyes for the umpteenth time today. Teddy allows her to hold on to him a bit longer and holds her tight.

"I've missed you Mom" he says to her softly.

"I've missed you to" she says as she pulls out of his arms and does her best to dry her tears.

"Where's Dad?"

"He's checking on Natalie. She was really excited about you coming home, but it was getting late. We told her that she could have breakfast with you tomorrow."

Teddy puts his bag down next to the staircase and walks with his mother to the main room. "Any word on Phoebe?"

Ana turns around and folds her arms as though a chill has entered a room. "No, I'm afraid not. It's got us on edge, not knowing where she is."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get her to tell me where she is" Teddy says and looks down at the floor. "Did Dad have any luck with Welch?"

"No, he said the call wasn't long enough." Ana looks over and sees Christian enter the room. Teddy turns around and is met with his father's glare.

"Dad"

"Theodore" he answers him in a serious tone.

"Oh Christian, knock it off" Ana admonishes. "This is not Teddy's fault." Ana walks over to her stubborn husband and puts her hand on his chest. "Our son is home" she says to him softly. "We haven't seen him in weeks. Please, just allow yourself to be happy about this."

Christian thinks it over for a moment and looks up at his son. Teddy has grown up so much over the past year. College has really changed him. He's worked extra hard on his studies during his first year at Harvard. He has also been taking care of his girlfriend, Rebecca. Since being released from the hospital after the car accident, she has had several surgeries and has had to use a wheelchair. She and Teddy have been living together in an apartment off campus and he has been there through every surgery and most of her therapy sessions. With this in mind, Christian softens. He slowly walks over to his son, and to Teddy's surprise he takes him in a hug. Ana watches with joy in her face as Teddy returns the hug. "Welcome home, Son."

"Thanks Dad" he says as Christian pats him on the back and releases him. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner, I wanted to make sure Rebecca was settled at her Dad's house." Rebecca's parents have divorced, and it was decided that Rebecca would live with her father while she is home from college.

"How is Robert?" Christian asks.

"He's doing well" Teddy says and smiles. "He actually cried when I brought Rebecca home. He's taking some time off of work while she's home." Christian rejoins Ana and she puts her arm around his waist. "I'm kind of tired. Do you mind if I turn in?"

"Not at all, Son. We'll see you in the morning." Christian says to him. Ana walks over and gives her son another hug before letting him leave the room.

"I'm so glad he's home, Christian" she says after wrapping her arm around his waist again and snuggling into his chest.

"Yeah, me too. Now if only Phoebe would come home, so we could be a family again." Christian turns and faces his wife, putting his arms around her.

"Time for bed?" she asks him. He nods and slowly walks with her through the house and to their bedroom.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

_It is dark and quiet for a while, and then he hears the sirens. Bright lights start to light up the area as police cars and ambulances race through the city with their sirens blasting. It is loud, so he covers his ears. The next minute he is outside and it is cold. He turns around and notices that the police cars and ambulances have stopped. He walks down the street to see what is happening. Law Enforcement and Paramedics are gathered around what appears to be a whole in the ground. He tries to walk faster, but he can't. Something is preventing him from running or walking fast. His legs feel heavy, but eventually he makes it over to the hole and he is standing before it. He looks down and is overwhelmed with grief at the horrific site before him. Phoebe is lying in the hole covered in blood, and she is dead._

"No!

Christian shoots up straight in bed and is out of breath. Ana sits up with him and puts her arms around one of his, trying to calm him. He is panting heavily and he is sweating.

"You were having a nightmare" she says to him softly. Christian works to catch his breath but he doesn't pull away from his wife. He wants to feel her hands on him. It is the only way he knows that she is really there with him and the horror that invaded his subconscious was not a reality. Phoebe is out there. She can't be dead. "Can you tell me what it was about?" she asks as she rubs her hand up and down his arm.

Christian doesn't want to paint the picture that is in his head for his wife. It is just too horrible. "I….. I don't remember." Christian continues to breathe heavily until he is able to calm himself enough for his wife. He reaches over and puts his hand on top of hers. "Thank you Baby. It's okay now. Let's go back to sleep."

Ana isn't convinced, but she allows Christian to lay her down and wrap his arms around her from behind. She feels his nose in her hair and knows that this is comforting for him. She waits for him to fall asleep before she allows sleep to find her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The next morning, Trevor and Phoebe leave their hotel room and find a coffee shop. They both sit at a small table and enjoy their coffee and split a blueberry muffin.

"The guys would like to move on today" he tells her and starts laughing, but Phoebe doesn't get the joke.

"What's so funny?" she asks him as she sips her scolding hot coffee.

"They want to go to Los Angeles and meet celebrities."

Phoebe still doesn't get the joke. "Come on, don't you think it would be cool to run into someone like Julia Roberts or Michelle Pfeiffer?"

"Yeah, I guess so, but you know Chip and Brandon. They'd make complete asses of themselves if they ever meet someone famous." Phoebe glares at him for his use of foul language, and he knows right away why she is glaring. "Sorry"

"It's fine. Anyway, I think it would be cool to go to Los Angeles. We can drop by and visit my Aunt Mia" she says and sports a big smile at the thought of seeing her aunt.

Trevor is not as enthusiastic. "You mean your father's sister? Phoebe, she'll rat you out for sure if we visit her."

"Aunt Mia's cool. Besides, I'll want her to call my parents to tell them I'm okay. Like I called Teddy last week."

"You better watch it Phoebs, or your father and his men will hunt us down and feed me to the wolves for taking you on this road trip." Trevor is half joking as he sips his coffee.

"Well, we will have to go home at some point" she says. Her expression changes to shock when she spots the Daily News with her father on the cover. She rushes over, grabs a copy and brings it back to their table.

"What's wrong?"

"My father" she says with horror in her voice. She is staring at a picture taken of her father as he is leaving his car in downtown Seattle. The picture was taken a few days ago when he had facial hair. "He looks horrible."

"Come on, it can't be that bad" Trevor tries to downplay the situation, but Phoebe continues to feel sick to her stomach as she reads a portion of the article.

"It says here that he lost on some business deals he had set up. Daddy never loses out on business deals."

"Phoebe…."

"What if I did this?" she asks in a panic. "What if my leaving caused him to look like this and lapse on his CEO duties?" Trevor doesn't know what to say. He sits silently and stares at her. "Trevor, I need to go back."

"Phoebe, you…. you don't need to go back."

"Trevor!" she admonishes.

"What I mean is, we are heading to Los Angeles. And like you said, your aunt lives there. When we get there, we will drop in and visit her, and we will ask her about your father. And if he's not okay, we will go back."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I promise. It's like you said, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We will never have an adventure like this again. You really want to cut it short only to find out that everything at home is fine?"

Phoebe thinks it over for a moment. "I guess not."

Trevor smiles and tries to get her to smile, but she keeps her frown. "We'll get on the road right away, the sooner the better."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Natalie are already in the kitchen eating pancakes when Teddy joins them. Natalie is ecstatic when she sees him. "Teddy!" she shouts and raises her arms up in the air.

Christian looks over at his son and smiles. "Good Morning Son"

"Morning Dad." He walks over and stands behind Natalie, leans down and blows raspberries on her neck to make her laugh. "Morning, Munchkin"

"Your mother will be back in a moment and she'll make some more pancakes" Christian tells his son. Christian and Ana have decided to keep the news of her pregnancy a secret until she is further along, so Christian doesn't tell his son that his mother isn't feeling well. This is the first morning that she has experienced morning sickness with this pregnancy. It is causing her to move slower since her energy level is down.

Teddy can tell right away that his mother isn't well when she walks into the kitchen. "Morning Teddy" she says softly.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm just moving a little slow this morning."

Christian stands and walks over to his wife, wrapping his arms around her from behind as she prepares more pancakes. He whispers to her so Teddy and Natalie can't hear him.

"What are you two whispering about?" Teddy asks.

"You really want to know, Son?" Christian asks teasingly, which changes Teddy's mind immediately.

"I take that back." Teddy isn't aware that his father was whispering to his mother to make sure she is okay.

Once the pancakes are made, the family of four sits and enjoys breakfast together. The fifth chair remains empty, which is not far from their minds. Teddy looks up once in a while to see if he can gauge his parents' reaction, but they are working hard to keep their anger and emotions in check where Phoebe is concerned.

"I'm done" Natalie whines.

Christian looks over at her plate and then at her face. He can tell that her chin is bothering her. He did his best to redress her cut this morning without causing her pain but she was still fussing.

"How about Daddy feeds you" he offers gently. She nods and watches him take her fork and feed the pieces to her. Ana watches with appreciation and a glow that Teddy picks up on immediately.

"Mom, are you sure you're okay?"

Christian keeps his focus on Natalie and internally hopes that his wife doesn't crack.

"Yes, Teddy I'm fine. I'm just tired. What would you like to do today?" she asks him, trying to change the subject.

"Well, I'm going to hang around here. Maybe we can figure out where Phoebe is."

"That's not necessary, son" Christian chimes in.

"Why not?"

"Because, your sister doesn't want to be found. She made that very clear."

Teddy looks down and thinks about his father's answer. "So, you're not looking for her? You don't have security out there trying to find her?"

"No Son, I don't. Our staff has been working feverishly to find her but there are no leads at this time. And we don't want to get law enforcement and media involved because that will put your sister in danger."

"Dad, I think this is a really bad idea" Teddy says and doesn't back down when his father glares at him. "We need to be out there looking for her."

"Out where? Where would you suggest we look?" Christian has turned his attention away from Natalie to yell at his son. Ana puts her hand on his arm and tries to calm him down, but Christian's anger has just started to build again. "We had security out there looking for her. We've checked with all of her friends and all of Trevor's friends and we have tabs on their phones. We have tabs on all bridge tolls in the area. What else would you suggest we do?"

Natalie brings her hands to her mouth and starts to cry, which immediately changes Christian's disposition. He turns to his daughter and tries to comfort her. "I'm sorry, Baby. Daddy's sorry for yelling" he coos. He cleans her off, lifts her out of her seat and holds her in his lap as she continues to cry. He leans down and kisses her head a few times as he holds her head to his chest. "I'm sorry" he says to his wife and son. "I'm angry, that's apparent, but I don't mean to take it out on you."

"It's okay. I just want to help" Teddy explains gently. "What can I do to help?"

Christian looks at Ana and then back at his son. "If she calls again, we need to know about it. Whoever gets the call will need to keep her on the phone for as long as possible so we can trace it."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Trevor, Phoebe and their friends arrive in Los Angeles the next day. While their friends explore the city, Phoebe and Trevor visit Mia. Phoebe is happy when Mia answers the door and beams with excitement. Mia matches her excitement and lets out a scream before she takes her niece in a tight hug.

"Phoebe Grace Grey, you have so much explaining to do" she says before she lets her go.

"I know. You remember my boyfriend, Trevor, right?" she asks as she points behind her.

"Of course. Please come in. Ethan and the kids are in the main room."

Mia leads the teens into the main room and they are met with a shocked Ethan. "Hi Uncle Ethan" Phoebe says sheepishly.

Ethan stands and greets his niece. "Phoebe, it's great to see you, but what are you doing here? Your parents are worried sick about you."

"I don't want them to worry" she says. "I called Teddy the other day to tell them that I'm okay. I just…. wanted to be on my own for a while." Ethan doesn't give her a blessing look, so she turns and talks to Mia. "Aunt Mia, you know what it's like. Guards always watching you, Grandma and Grandpa always monitoring your every move, every boy you've dated, and staff always doing everything for you. I just wanted a break from all of that."

Mia can't help but sympathize with her niece. She grew up with the Grey name and the constant rules and security that went along with it. She puts her hand on Phoebe's shoulder and rubs it.

"Mia" Ethan tries to snap his wife out of it.

"Ethan, it will be alright. I mean, she's been away from her home for almost three weeks now and look at her."

"This isn't right" he retorts.

"Uncle Ethan, please don't call my Dad. At least not until after we leave. We just want a few more days on the road and then we'll head home."

Mia walks over and puts her arms around her husband. "Mia, what if Liz or Sophie did this as teenagers?"

"I would hate it" she says and shrugs her shoulders. "But Phoebe is growing up, and she has this strapping young man looking after her. And then she will go home and face the music. Right?" she directs the last word to her niece. Trevor walks up to Phoebe and puts his arm around her shoulder.

"Right" Phoebe says and smiles at her aunt.

"You know your father is going to kill him?" Ethan says to Phoebe regarding Trevor.

Phoebe and Trevor look at each other nervously. "He won't be happy. But surely he won't kill him." At this time the kids notice that Phoebe is there and run over to her. Phoebe smiles and picks Sophia up, giving her a big hug. Liz and Chris each hug her from the side. "I've missed you guys" she says as Trevor watches. She starts to think about her sister Natalie since she and Sophia are the same age. Natalie is always that happy to see her too. For the first time in weeks she starts to miss home. Her smile fades as this feeling starts to overwhelm her, and Trevor notices.

"Phoebs, you okay?"

Phoebe nods and fights hard to keep the tears from leaving her eyes. She is grateful that Mia and Ethan are distracted by their dog and fail to notice that she is becoming emotional.

"Lunch is almost ready. You two have to join us. There is plenty of food." Mia says as she starts to walk toward the kitchen. Ethan glances at Phoebe and notices that she seems emotional, but he doesn't question it. He rounds the kids up and has them follow their mother into the kitchen.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian is sitting in the main room with Natalie in his lap. They are watching Beauty and the Beast, which is one of Natalie's favorites. She is starting to drift off to sleep, but Christian just keeps her in his lap rather than put her in her room. She had missed her afternoon nap, so he just allows this to make up for it. He rubs his fingers gently along her hair and cheek, watching her little face as she settles into a deep sleep. With Phoebe gone and out of touch, he can only find solace when he's holding Ana or his baby girl. Having Teddy home definitely helps too. But Phoebe is never far from his mind. He feels a mixture of emotions. Anger and hurt are top of the list. He also feels abandoned by her even though he is the parent. She left her home and her life, a life that he had provided for her and worked hard to ensure the safety and happiness of. That also leads to his belief that she is ungrateful for everything he's done for her. And then there's the fear, fear that something bad has happened or will happen to her. He has no control over what she is doing and no means to help her if she needs it.

He looks down at Natalie again and is hit with a feeling of deja vu. Natalie looks like Phoebe did when she was her age. She had the same facial expressions when she was asleep. Christian spent a lot of time holding Phoebe when she was little and often kept her in his arms when she slept. He never thought he'd be associated with dolls, dresses or tea parties. That changed when Phoebe came along. Ever since he held her in his arms the first time, he knew he would do anything for her even if it made him look silly. He would still do anything for her. But now she is not around. He is brought back to reality and starts to feel lost. He jumps when he feels his phone vibrate, and then looks down at Natalie hoping she stays asleep. He gently lays her on the couch and walks away to take the phone call.

"Grey"

Christian makes his way to the kitchen and is delighted to hear his sister's voice.

"Hey sis. Did you talk to your husband yet?" he asks her, referring to her wanting to move back to Seattle. He frowns when she tells him she hasn't.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He listens as Mia changes the subject on him. He perks up when she stars to talk about Phoebe. He raises his brow and starts to get angry.

"Phoebe was there? When?" He listens as she explains that Phoebe was at her house for a short while, stayed for lunch and then took off with her boyfriend.

"Mia, why didn't you call while she was there?" Christian clenches his fist and grows angrier when Mia explains that she understands Phoebe's side of things and didn't want to get in her way.

"Damn it, Mia!" Mia apologizes and lets her brother know that Phoebe is doing fine. She also admonishes him for allowing the media to take a picture of him when he lapsed on his hygiene and presentation. Christian ignores her remarks.

"Did she say where she was going?" She tells him that she will be heading home sometime next week. Christian lets out a long and hard sigh and runs his hand through his hair.

"Mia, I need her to come home now. It is not safe for her to be out on her own." Christian gets angry again when Mia says she needs to end the call and tend to her kids. They say goodbye and Christian slams his fist into the counter. Ana walks in and flinches when she sees him do that. She slowly walks over and takes his hand into both of hers to see if he broke it. "Its fine, Ana" he says and runs his hand through his hair again.

"Who was that?" Ana asks reluctantly.

"That was Mia. Phoebe is in Los Angeles. I need to do something."

Ana watches Christian walk away and assumes he is going to round up security to look for Phoebe again. But he surprises her when he prepares a flight plan for himself and Taylor. "You're going to Los Angeles?"

"I need to do this, Ana. I can't just sit around here anymore."

He kisses her goodbye and walks out the door.


	7. Fifty Can't

Phoebe's POV

We have spent a few days in the Los Angeles area and plan to start heading back to Seattle in a few days. Trevor and I have been staying with his cousin Dylan, who is a few years older and will be starting college in the fall. Trevor and Dylan are close even though they don't live in the same area. They grew up together along with Trevor's older brother Travis. I have been getting to know Dylan since staying at his place for the past few days. I see a lot of similarities between him and his cousins. He is equally handsome and he also seems sweet. I'm not quite sure why he doesn't have a girlfriend, but of course I don't ask him that.

I've let Trevor spend some time with him while I've been trying to get to know some of the other girls that have been traveling with us. It's been tough because I have nothing in common with them, except that they come from families with money. They are very materialistic and judgmental. It's hard for me to associate myself with people that think they are better than everyone else, but I try to be nice and just listen to their conversations. They also drink and smoke, and I'm not used to being around that. I'm very fortunate that Trevor doesn't do either of those things, but his friends do.

Tonight they are going to a party. I don't really want to go and be around a bunch of drunk teenagers, but at the same time I know that Trevor really wants to go. I'd rather just stay behind and watch TV. We haven't done that since being on the road. Now that I think about it, we haven't really stopped and relaxed since leaving Seattle. I start to feel very tired. Trevor approaches me and notices me yawning.

"Am I keeping you up?"

I smile at him. "I'm just tired. You know we haven't really stopped since being on the road."

Trevor closes the gap between us but he doesn't touch me. "Would you rather stay here tonight? Not go out?"

I start to feel guilty, but I don't want to lie to him. I shrug my shoulders and look off to the side as I answer him. "I'd rather not go out, but I don't want to stop you. I know you are looking forward to this."

He puts his hands on my hips and doesn't take his eyes off of mine. "If you want to stay, we'll stay. We don't need to go out."

I smile at him, but I see the almost pained look in his eyes so I stop. "No, you should go. You don't need me there. Go and be with your friends. I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

I lean up and kiss him. "Yes, I'm sure. As long as you don't hook up with any California babes."

He starts to tickle my sides and I am a mess of giggles. "California babes?"

"Yes. Don't worry I trust you."

He wraps his arms around me and holds me for a while. When he leaves go of me he smiles. "Thanks, Baby. I won't stay out long."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A few hours later I am relaxing in the bedroom that Trevor and I have been sleeping in. Even though we've been on the road for three weeks, we haven't had sex. We've only tried once and then we never discussed it again. Yet, Trevor has been sleeping in the same bed as me. I like sleeping next to him. I feel like I sleep better when he is with me. But at the same time I feel like I am not being fair to him. He told me that it is fine, but is he being honest with me? What if he gets tired of waiting and leaves me? I'd be devastated. I have to find a way to be ready to have sex with him, but I have no idea how to go about doing that. It's not like I have an older sister to confide in. I can't talk to Teddy about this, or Mom or Dad. I'm taken back to our time on the boat in Florida when Dad told me that he wasn't going to tell me to wait until I am a certain age. He told me to wait until I was ready and when I was with the right person. Is Trevor the right person? I think he is. I just don't understand why I'm not ready.

I am interrupted from my thoughts when Dylan knocks on the door and lets himself in. I'm a little irritated that he didn't wait for me to answer, but I guess I don't have a right to be. This is his place. He has two drinks in his hand.

"I thought you were going out" I say to him and try to hide my irritation.

"Nope, I'm in for the evening. Drink?" he offers it to me and I immediately wonder what it is. He notices my reluctance and answers my unspoken question. "It's club soda."

I take it from him. "Thanks." I take a sip and notice right away that it is strong. But then again, I've never had club soda. After taking a sip I put the glass down on the bed table.

"So, how long have you and my cousin been together?"

"Uh, we're going on five months." I start to feel dizzy. Either I'm more tired than I thought or the club soda has some weird effect on me.

"My cousin must be crazy about you. None of his relationships have lasted this long." He smiles at me and takes another sip of his club soda. "What's the matter, don't like the drink?"

"What? Oh, no it's fine. I'm just not that thirsty." What's wrong with me? I think I'm slurring my words. I notice Dylan move so that he is sitting closer to me.

"So, have any of your relationships lasted this long?"

What is this, twenty questions? I am getting more annoyed, but I try to be nice since this is Trevor's cousin. Maybe he's just trying to be nice. "Um, no. I don't think they have." I can't believe I had to think about that. What relationships? I haven't had that many. I bring my hand up to my head since I start to feel the room spinning.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I think I'm just tired." I hope he takes the hint and leaves the room, but he doesn't. Instead he keeps talking but I am having a hard time concentrating on what he is saying. I just nod and pretend that I am paying attention. I notice after a while that he moves even closer to me. I start to feel uncomfortable with it, especially when he puts his hand on my face. I awkwardly raise my hand and smack it away.

"What are you doing?" I ask him

"Relax, Phoebe." Before I can stop him he has me lying on the bed and he is straddling me. "I'm going to teach you how to pleasure my cousin." What? Did he really just say that? I start to struggle beneath him, but he is too strong. It doesn't help that I feel lightheaded. He grabs both of my wrists and I start to get scared. "Relax. I am not going to hurt you."

"What are you going to do?" I ask him. I can hear the fear in my voice.

"Don't be afraid" he says softly. I can feel him tying my wrists and I immediately try to struggle again. I can hear him laughing at me. I do my best not to cry. I can't let him win.

"Get off of me" I yell, but he just smiles like there is nothing wrong with what he is doing to me.

"Phoebe, don't fight this. You should be grateful that I'm doing this."

"Grateful?" I spit out with anger.

"My cousin, your boyfriend told me about your little problem. And you are in luck. I love my cousin so much, I am willing to teach his girlfriend how she can please him in bed."

I start to panic. Is he really going to do this? Is he going to have sex with me? No, he can't. I won't let him. I start to struggle again but I can't break free from whatever he used to tie my wrists. I watch him start to unzip his pants. He does it slow, like he's showing off or something. I continue to struggle against my bonds as he removes his jeans. And then he pulls it out. This is a nightmare. It is like Jay part two. I squeeze my eyes shut so I don't have to look at it.

"Phoebe, come one. If you want to enjoy sex with Trevor you are going to have to get used to seeing a penis."

"Please stop" I say as I cry. I can't stop myself from crying now. I feel like it is my only defense at this point. I can't free my wrists and I can't kick him off of me. It works. When I open my eyes I see him putting his jeans back on.

"Fine, stay a virgin. But don't think my cousin is going to take that celibate journey with you."

I feel the tears run down my face as he releases my wrists and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I am numb. I can't believe that just happened to me. All I can think about is getting out of here, now. But where do I go? Trevor won't be home for hours. I told him to stay out as late as he wanted, that I'd probably fall asleep early anyway. I grab my bag, quickly pack my things and leave the apartment as fast as I can. I am relieved that I've managed to avoid running into Dylan on my way out. I can't believe he did that to me. I also can't believe Trevor told his cousin about my problem with having sex. I feel so humiliated. I speed walk for a while until I come across a small restaurant with a pay phone outside. A pay phone? You don't see many of those anymore. I pick it up and read the instructions on calling collect since I don't have any money on me. We've used Trevor's money since I don't have access to any of my own money. I call someone I know I can trust to help me in this situation.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian arrives home and is greeted by his wife. He is exhausted and frustrated. He can't find it in him to be affectionate with his family since his failed attempt at finding Phoebe in Los Angeles. Taylor walks into the house right behind him.

"Gail has some dinner heating up for the both of you" Ana says lovingly, but  
Christian has a scowl on his face.

"I'm not hungry."

"Christian, you have to eat" Ana tries.

"I said I am not hungry!" he shouts and then walks past her. She follows him into the main room where Natalie is playing with her Disney dolls. Christian continues his angry fit when he sees his young daughter. "She should be in bed" he admonishes his wife.

Ana doesn't wither under his angry scowl. "She wanted to wait for her Daddy to come home. I knew that it would be soon so I kept her up." She looks over at her daughter and feels guilty for her be subjected to Christian's foul mood. "Please, Christian, she missed you."

Christian plops down on the couch and lets out a big moan. He is spent. He takes some time to collect himself, rubbing his hands over his face and then through his hair. Once he's composed he calls out for his daughter with as much patience as he can muster at the moment. "Natalie, come over here." Natalie has a frown on her face as she stands and looks over at her father and then at her mother. She is holding one of her dolls in her hands. Christian sighs again and tries to make his voice lighter. "Its okay, Natalie. Come sit with Daddy." Natalie puts her doll in the dollhouse and walks over to her father. Ana watches as he pulls their daughter up into his lap and gives her a hug and a kiss on her head. "Hey Baby. Daddy missed you" he coos. Ana smiles and a single tear leaves her eye. "Go play for a few more minutes, and then we'll get ready for bed." Natalie nods and runs back to her toys after Christian lifts her off of his lap. Ana sits next to her husband and puts her hands on his back and his arm. "I can't do this anymore, Ana."

"Can't keep doing what?"

Christian breaks away from her touch and stands. He starts to pace. "I can't keep going like this. Worrying about Phoebe. Wondering what she is doing. Wondering if she is eating and sleeping and wondering if she is even alive."

Ana starts to tear up. "Don't say that" she says softly.

"That's how I feel, Ana." He stops pacing and looks at her, but makes no move to console her. "I'm tired of feeling like this. So helpless and so lost. I'm tired of not having control or answers. I'm tired of hoping every day that she will walk back through that front door, only to be disappointed when she doesn't. I can't live like this, Ana."

Ana keeps her spot on the couch and wipes her tears away. She looks over at Natalie, who is playing with her dolls and not listening to their conversation. She looks back at her husband and can see that he is waiting for her to say something. "I'm going to put her to bed." She walks over to Natalie, picks her up and carries her out of the room, and Christian doesn't do anything to stop her. He doesn't follow her. He just watches her walk out of the room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Later that evening, Phoebe looks out the passenger side window as the car she is riding in pulls into the long driveway to her Seattle home she lives in with her parents. She has been away for three weeks, but nothing has changed. Even after the car is parked she remains in her seat. Once she leaves the car and enters the house, that is it. She will be home. And she will need to face what she has done. She knew that she had to come home at some point, but now that she is sitting in the driveway she starts to regret her decision to leave in the first place. It was a quick decision she made after arguing about it with her father. She never thought she would do anything like this. But she craved the adventure and the opportunity to be on her own. At this moment, she starts to wonder if it was all worth it.

"Would you like me to come in with you?"

Phoebe looks at her former bodyguard and raises her eyebrow. "You want Dad to kill you too? He fired you, Sawyer." He softly chuckles at her. "I'm really sorry, about that. I know it's my fault."

"It's okay. I've been working for your father for twenty years. Maybe it's time I try something else."

Phoebe looks sadly at him and then attempts to make a joke. "Like rescuing rich damsels in distress when they run away from home?" Sawyer chuckles again, which makes Phoebe smile. He has been her bodyguard since as far back as she can remember. "I'm really going to miss you. You know, I can talk to Dad about giving you your job back, once he gets over being angry with me."

"You should go in. Get it over with. You're going to be fine, Phoebe."

Phoebe smiles sadly at him again and then leaves the car. She grabs her bag out of the trunk and turns around. As she looks up at her house she starts to feel fear and anxiety about what is waiting for her inside. What does she say to them? What will they say to her? There's only one way to find out. She lets out a sigh and bravely walks into the house.

Once she's in the foyer she looks around and listens for any noise that will tell her where her family members are. It is unusually quiet. She puts her bag down by the steps and slowly walks through the house. She runs her hand over some of the furniture as if she hasn't seen it in years. She finds herself walking into the main room and then stands before her father's study. The door is shut. He could be in there. She softly knocks on the door and then quickly brings her hand back down to her side. She can hear his voice yell to enter. She lets out another breath, shakily puts her hand on the doorknob and before she knows it she is in his study. She slowly walks in but keeps a far distance between her and her father's desk. He doesn't notice her at all. He is looking down and writing. She waits for a few seconds to see if he looks up, but she quickly grows impatient. She is the first to speak.

"Hi Daddy." Her voice is very soft and shaky, but he hears her. That is evident when he looks up at her. He has a scowl on his face. She can feel a gulp rise in her throat as she is met with his angry glare.


	8. Fifty Back

**_I apologize for taking so long to post. The holidays are crazy and I wanted to take some time to think about this chapter. I already know what direction I am going in with this story, but for some reason I struggled with this part of the story. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Reading!_**

* * *

Phoebe is standing in the middle of the study waiting for her father to speak. She can feel herself shaking and withering under his cold glare, but she doesn't move. She is determined to face him and what she has done. Just three weeks ago she was in this study with him trying to convince him that she should go on the road trip, but it didn't work. He did not want her to go, but she went anyway. And here they are now. He had a lot to say about it three weeks ago, but now all she is getting from him is his cold glare. She can't take it anymore.

"Say something" she says softly, but he still remains silent. He remains seated at his desk with his elbows leaning and his chin rested on his folded hands.

Ana walks into the study and immediately becomes emotional. She rushes over to Phoebe and wraps her arms around her tightly. Christian just watches while mother and daughter reconnect. When Ana pulls away she looks at her daughter for a few seconds, and then she becomes angry and slaps her across the face. Phoebe brings her hand up to her cheek which immediately becomes pink from the slap. Christian just continues to watch as his wife unleashes her emotions on their daughter, no doubt driven by her pregnancy hormones.

"How could you be so reckless? What were you thinking leaving this house with no phone and no security? Phoebe you had us worried sick that something was going to happen to you." Phoebe doesn't say anything. She continues to hold her cheek and tears start to roll down her face. She listens as Ana continues her emotional rant. "I have never been as disappointed in you as I am right now. What you did was stupid and selfish and extremely dangerous. Do you have any idea what you have put this family through?" Phoebe squeezes her eyes shut as more tears stream down her face. Ana has never yelled at her like this. Ever. Ana starts to feel guilty for shouting at her and decides that the best thing to do is dismiss her. She lets out a sigh and tries to calm herself down. "It's late. You should go to bed. We will talk more about this tomorrow."

Phoebe rushes out of the study and closes the door behind her. She is still crying when she grabs her bag and climbs the steps to the second floor. As she approaches her bedroom, she runs into Teddy.

"Phoebe" he calls out to her with relief. At first she is reluctant to face him. After seeing her parents' reaction to her return she feels that nobody will be on her side. She is proven wrong when he pulls her into a hug. He holds her and lets her cry into his chest. He rubs her back and softly tells her that everything is going to be okay. She doesn't believe that, but being held right now feels too good for her to pull away. After what happened with Dylan, and then being in a long car ride with Sawyer, and then facing her parents, this is what she needs.

After Phoebe calms down Teddy takes her bag and leads her into her bedroom. They sit on her bed and he watches her for a few seconds, waiting for her to collect herself.

"Are you okay?" he asks her.

Phoebe takes a deep breath and then lets it out. "I should have never gone on that road trip."

Teddy brings his hand up to her back and gently strokes it. "Did something happen?"

Phoebe starts to get emotional again and tries to compose herself before speaking. "I left Trevor in Los Angeles."

"Why?"

Phoebe thinks it over for a moment. She is too embarrassed to tell him about what Dylan did to her. But she needs to tell him something. "Um, we were staying with his cousin, Dylan. He told his cousin some personal things about me, and it made me really angry. So I called Sawyer and asked him to come get me." Phoebe reaches up and rubs some tears away from her face. "He said Dad fired him."

Teddy looks down and sighs. "Yeah, Dad did some questionable things while you were away."

"It's all my fault. I hate myself."

"Phoebe, look I don't agree with what you did. And I certainly don't _like_ what you did. But I'm glad you're home safe. I know Mom and Dad are too."

Phoebe sniffles and tries to compose herself again. "Mom slapped me" she says. "Mom's never hit me before."

Teddy moves his hand up to her shoulder and rubs it. "Yeah, me neither. Look, Mom and Dad are going to be upset with you for a while. Your taking off has really been hard on them. Not knowing where you were, not knowing if you were safe, or even alive. Phoebe, you are their child. This was killing them. So you are going to have to ride this out for a while and wait for them to forgive you. And it's going to be a really long time before they can trust you again."

Phoebe thinks about her brother's words and then looks up at him. "You should be furious with me too. Why are you being so nice?"

Teddy smiles. "I'm pissed at you Phoebs. And I will be for a while. But you need me. So I'm here, whatever you need."

Phoebe manages a faint smile and more tears roll down her cheeks. "Thanks Teddy."

"Are you hungry? Do you need me to get something for you from the kitchen?" Phoebe shakes her head and wipes some more tears away. Teddy grows concerned, very much like his father would. He notices that she looks thinner since the last time he saw her. "When's the last time you ate?"

"Sawyer stopped by a sandwich place outside of Seattle and we shared a chicken wrap."

Teddy is still concerned, but he decides not to press the issue. "You should get some sleep. Do you think that you can?" he asks her.

Phoebe nods. "Yeah. I wanna take a shower first."

"Okay. I'll check on you tomorrow morning." Teddy rises from the bed and kisses her hair before walking over to the doorway. He turns and looks down at her before leaving. "I'm really glad you're home" he says to her.

Phoebe grows even angrier with herself as she realizes that this has affected him too. Just like their parents, he was worried about her too. "I'm really sorry Teddy."

He doesn't say anything, but he nods before leaving her bedroom.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana is sitting up in bed waiting for Christian to join her. After brushing his teeth he walks over to the bed and climbs in next to her. He sits up next to her and watches her for a while, knowing that she is going to verbalize what she is feeling at any moment. When she does, it comes out like a waterfall along with her tears.

"I'm such a bad mother"

"Come on, what are you talking about?" is all he has to offer.

"I hit her, Christian. I hit our child." Ana has a tissue in her hand but it doesn't help much with the amount of tears that are rolling down her cheeks.

Christian is unaffected by her emotional state and doesn't make a move to comfort her. He has grown cold over the past couple of weeks and has only been able to change his disposition when called out on it. He just watches his wife as she beats herself up.

"How could I do that?"

"She deserved it" he tries to reason, which only makes Ana angry.

"No, Christian. She didn't. I've never raised a hand to either of our children." Ana grabs some more tissues and works to blot her face dry.

"I have. I guess that makes me a bad father."

"Christian, that's not the same and you know it" Ana yells. "You've never slapped their faces."

Christian shifts on the bed and lies down. "Ana, don't beat yourself up over this. It's late, you're tired, I'm tired, so we should both just go to sleep."

Ana is hurt by Christian's lack of emotion regarding their daughter. She is home, she is safe, and now she probably feels rejected by both of her parents. Ana waits for Christian to close his eyes and drift off to sleep before climbing out of the bed. She tiptoes down the hall and stops at Phoebe's room where Teddy is standing in the doorway. He is looking in at his sister in the dark room.

"How is she?" she whispers to her son.

Teddy turns his head and looks at his mother. "She's asleep" he whispers back. "She just got settled." Teddy closes the door to his sister's room and faces his mother. "She's home Mom, and she's safe" he says as he brings his hands up to hold the outside of her arms.

Ana nods her head and starts to tear up. Internally she is blaming it on the pregnancy hormones, but her kids don't know about her pregnancy yet. She reaches up and wipes a tear away. "Thank you for being there for her."

Teddy smiles and rubs his hands up and down her arms before letting go. "I told her that you and Dad are going to need some time to deal with all of this. Just because she is back doesn't mean that all is forgiven."

Ana nods again, unsure of what to say. She agrees that it will take some time. But that doesn't mean that Ana can't be there for her too. She wants to go in and hold her daughter and be happy that she is home. It is taking everything in her to refrain from pushing Teddy out of the way and rushing into her bedroom. But she knows that she can't do that.

"She'll be fine, Mom. You should go to bed."

Ana reaches up and caresses her son's face. She cannot believe how grown up he is and how much he is like his father. Even now, telling her to go to bed. She smiles and leans up and kisses his cheek. "Goodnight Teddy"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The next morning Teddy walks into Phoebe's room to find her sitting up and staring out the window.

"Good Morning"

She turns and looks at him. He is holding Natalie in his arms and she has a big smile on her face.

"Phoebe!" Teddy puts the toddler down and she runs over to Phoebe's bed. She struggles to climb onto the bed so Teddy walks over and lifts her onto it. Phoebe has a big smile on her face as she hugs her baby sister.

"I missed you so much" Phoebe says softly. She can feel a tear leave her eye. Natalie pulls back and excitedly tells Phoebe about starting dancing school soon and some outfits that Ana had bought for her to wear to class. Phoebe listens and smiles as she listens to her. Teddy stands next to the bed with his hands in his pockets and watches. They are interrupted when Ana knocks on the open door and walks in.

"Hi Mommy" Natalie says with a smile on her face, unaware of the tension that had just started to build in the room. Phoebe and Teddy stare back at their mother waiting to see who will be the first to speak. A few seconds go by with just silence, until Natalie speaks again. "Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Teddy, could you please take your sister to the kitchen and give her some fruit? I'll be down in a few minutes." Teddy does as he's told. He lifts Natalie and carries her out of the room. Ana slowly walks over to the bed and sits down so that she is facing Phoebe. She reaches over and puts her hand on top of hers. "I hate what you did, Phoebe. We were so worried about you. We couldn't find you and we couldn't protect you. You will never know what this did to us until you have children of your own."

Phoebe just sits and listens to her mother. She knows that she let her parents down. There's not much she can say in her defense that will make things better.

"When you don't know where your child is, it's like a big chunk of your heart is being ripped out. We didn't know…." she pauses and takes a breath. "We didn't know if you were dead or alive. We were relieved when you contacted Teddy and then Mia, but that was short lived. Your father and I were beside ourselves with fear and worry that something bad was going to happen to you."

When Ana stops talking, Phoebe feels the need to say something. "I'm sorry Mom. I know that that doesn't mean anything right now, but I really am. I don't like making you and Dad angry."

Ana reaches up and caresses Phoebe's cheek where she slapped her. "I shouldn't have slapped you. No matter how angry I get at you….."

"I deserved it" Phoebe interrupts her.

"No, no you didn't" Ana says as she shakes her head. "I was angry and I did it without thinking. I'm still angry, Phoebe. I'm glad you're home but the anger and the hurt are still there. It's going to take some time before things calm down around here." Phoebe nods and looks down. Ana moves closer to her and pulls her into a hug to reassure her that she's glad she's home. "I love you" she says softly.

Phoebe pulls out of the hug. "I love you too Mom, and, I really am sorry for making you so angry. I just wanted this road trip so bad, and I wasn't thinking about what it would do to you and Dad."

Ana nods. "You were selfish, Phoebe. That's something you have to think about. You have to ask yourself 'how do my actions affect other people?'"

Phoebe nods again. "I'm pretty sure I'll have a lot of time to think about that. I'm sure I'm grounded until I'm thirty."

Ana smirks and looks down at their hands. "Your father and I need to discuss that. We will let you know once we decide on a proper punishment."

Phoebe nods and also looks down at their hands. "Dad didn't say a word last night. Is he ever going to speak to me again?"

Ana gives her a worried look. "Your father loves you, but he isn't the same person he was before you left. This has changed him, and he's probably not going to come around as easily as Teddy and I have. You need to give him space, Phoebe. Let him decide when he's ready to accept that you are back."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Later that day, the family prepares to sit for dinner. Ana has made her chicken lasagna, Phoebe's favorite. Phoebe helps Natalie into her booster seat while Ana serves the food. They look up when they see Teddy return to the breakfast bar.

"Dad said he's not hungry. He's going to eat later."

He sits down between his sisters. Phoebe frowns and looks down at the dish that Ana has put in the middle of the table. Christian has avoided her all day. He did not join them for breakfast or lunch. And now he is skipping out on dinner. Her appetite starts to fade as she watches Ana and Teddy dish out some lasagna.

"Here Phoebe" Ana says as she hands her the large fork and spoon.

"Maybe I should eat later too" she says softly. Teddy and Ana both look at her sadly, knowing that she is itching to meet up with her father.

"Phoebe, your father will probably have dinner in his study. You can eat with us now. Maybe he'll be up for talking later." Ana tries to defuse the situation that is Christian avoiding their daughter, but on the inside she is furious at her husband for acting so childish.

"No he won't. He's purposely avoiding me. He's never going to speak to me again, is he?"

Teddy sighs. "Look, Phoebe he just needs some time. He probably needs to think about what he's going to say to you."

"Mom, I appreciate that you made my favorite, but I'm really not hungry right now. Can you save some for me to eat later?"

Ana looks at her and thinks it over for a few seconds. She'd rather have her daughter eat with her, but she can't force feed her like Christian would if he were there. "Sure, you can eat later."

Phoebe excuses herself from the table and climbs the stairs to her room. She plops herself on the bed and checks her cell phone for the first time since she left. There are seven missed calls and two text messages from Trevor.

_**Are you home?**_

_**I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you leave. Please talk to me**_

Phoebe sighs and just drops her phone on her bed. She doesn't want to deal with him right now. Her thoughts are on her family, especially her father. She never meant to make them worry so much about her. She never meant to make them so angry. What can she do to fix things? She decides to put some music on and take a nap. The first song on her playlist is an Enya song, and it's the only song she hears before sleep comes to her.

She wakes around three in the morning and ventures downstairs, hoping to run into her father. He usually gets up in the middle of the night to check on Natalie and then he goes to the kitchen for a drink. She grabs a bottled water for herself and waits in the kitchen for him to come. She waits for about two hours, and then it occurs to her that he is not coming. Either that or he knew she was in the kitchen and avoided that area of the house so that he wouldn't have to see her. Tears start to escape her eyes at the thought of her father ignoring her. "What have I done?" she says softly as she begins to cry.


	9. Fifty Darkening

A week has gone by since Phoebe's return. Christian has purposely avoided contact with her, getting up early for breakfast and not joining his family for meals. He's spent hours of each day buried in his work at Grey Enterprises and returned late in the evening as the family prepared for bed. Ana had managed to convince him to have a session with Flynn.

They arrive at John's office and take their seats on the couches while the therapist takes his seat behind his desk.

"What can I do for you today?" he asks them kindly. They are quiet for a few minutes since neither of them answer.

Ana looks over at her husband. He is frowning and not looking at her or at Flynn. She decides to speak first. "Our daughter came home last week."

"That's wonderful news" John beams. "I take it her return has caused some conflict."

"You might say that" Ana offers. She looks over at Christian again and he still doesn't say anything or make eye contact. "It was extremely difficult not knowing where she was. When she came home, the first thing I felt was relief, relief that she was home and in one piece. And then I felt angry. I was angry with her for leaving and putting us through that."

"What did you say to her?"

"I slapped her pretty hard. And then I shouted at her. I've never yelled at any of my children like that. Afterward I felt really guilty and all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her how much I love her. I was afraid she would leave again. But I waited until the morning. Teddy was there and he kept an eye on her while she fell asleep."

Flynn nods and then looks over at Christian. "Christian, what about you? What did you say to her?"

Christian glares at Flynn and doesn't offer an answer. Ana looks over at her husband and has tears in her eyes.

"Um, he hasn't said anything to Phoebe. He's been avoiding our daughter."

"I see" he says as he writes some things down. "Christian why are you avoiding your daughter?"

Christian shifts in his seat and crosses his leg over the other. "I think it's better for everyone that I keep my distance for a while" he says calmly.

"Christian" Ana scolds with so much emotion in her voice. She brings her hand up to wipe her nose before Flynn walks over and hands her a box of tissues. Rather than take his seat behind his desk again he stays in front of it and sits on the edge in front of the couple.

"Why do you think that would be better for everybody?"

"Flynn, you know how I get when people defy me." This time Christian's voice is more harsh.

"You want to punish her" he offers.

"I want to belt her" Christian shoots back. "I want her to feel pain for what she has put me through. And I know if I face her now I won't be able to stop myself from hurting her like that."

"Christian you don't mean that" Ana says tearfully.

"Yes, Anastasia. I do. I cannot face our daughter until I get that shit out of my head."

"And how do you plan on getting that shit out of your head?" Flynn asks him.

"I don't know. All I know is I'm too fucking angry to face her now."

Flynn looks at Christian and thinks about what he's going to say next. He looks over at Ana and watches her use more tissues to dry her tears. He looks back at Christian and offers an alternative. "Have you and Ana thought of another way you could punish her?"

Christian shakes his head and doesn't look at Flynn. Ana looks over at him. "I have"

Christian and Flynn both look over at Ana and she explains her idea to them. She would like Christian to be there with her to discuss it with their daughter. He is reluctant to face her, but Ana promises that she will not let him do something he'll regret.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana and Christian wait in his study for Phoebe to join them. When she does, she is reluctant to walk further into the room to face both of them. This is the first time all week that she has seen her father. He is sitting behind his desk and Ana is standing in front of it. She looks like a scared child that has been called to the principal's office. Christian remains behind his desk and has resolved to let Ana hand down the punishment.

"Phoebe, your father and I have decided on your punishment. Why don't you have a seat?" Phoebe gingerly sits down in one of the chairs that face the desk. Ana walks over and sits in the one next to her and positions herself so that she is facing Phoebe. Phoebe chances a quick glance at her father and then looks back at her mother. "We talked to your grandmother, and for the next six weeks you will be volunteering at the hospital. This will be Monday through Friday nine to four. And then you will be able to attend your dance classes.

"You're still going to let me dance?" She asks almost too quietly for them to hear, but they both do. Christian still doesn't say a word.

"Yes, there is no reason you should give that up. You will continue your dance classes and you will volunteer at the hospital during the day. Dovis will drive you around every day.

"Not Sawyer" she pouts.

Ana looks over at Christian and he doesn't change his expression. "Dovis will drive you" she repeats. "You will be volunteering, so you won't be compensated. And you will need to do what you are told while you are there or else there will be consequences. Understood?"

"Yes Mom." She looks over at her father. "Does that mean you will talk to me now?" Christian still doesn't change his expression and he doesn't say a word. "Please Dad"

"Ana I have some calls I need to make" he says coldly. Phoebe grows upset as Ana gets her to stand and leave the study with her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The next day Christian is home with Phoebe and Natalie. It is Sunday and Kate had invited Ana out for lunch. Teddy is spending time with Rebecca. Christian is working on his laptop in the main room so that he can keep an eye on Natalie while she plays with her toys. When he walks out of the room to take a call, Natalie sees it as an opportunity to sneak upstairs to see her sister. She is not allowed upstairs without her parents, but she hasn't been able to spend a lot of time with Phoebe since she's been home. She knows where Phoebe's room is, so as soon as she reaches the top step she runs until she is outside of Phoebe's door. She is able to reach the doorknob and opens the door to find Phoebe sitting on her bed reading a book. Phoebe is happy to see her and helps her climb onto the bed.

Phoebe and Natalie spend a few minutes talking about her princesses and a few of the Disney movies that she watched with their parents until they are confronted with their angry father. He steps into the room and immediately loses his temper.

"Natalie, what did I tell you about coming up here on your own?" he yells. She grabs onto Phoebe with her little hands and Phoebe wraps her arms around her to protect her.

"Come on, Dad. She came up here to see me" she tries to reason, but Christian ignores her.

"Let's go, Natalie" he says harshly.

"She can stay in here with me" Phoebe tries again. "I can keep an eye on her while you work." She continues to hold onto Natalie as she whimpers into her shirt.

"Natalie, I am going to count to three, and if you are not standing in front of me by then I am going to spank you."

Natalie starts to cry in Phoebe's arms. She probably doesn't know what spanking is, but Christian's temper alone always frightens her.

"Dad, she's only two. You can't spank her" Phoebe says as she glares at her father. At this moment she doesn't care that her father is angry with her. Her main focus is looking out for her sister.

"One" he starts. At this point Phoebe knows that he won't back down, so she releases Natalie and tells her to go with their father. She lowers her onto the floor and Natalie reluctantly walks over to Christian. She is still afraid of him since he has an angry face and he's been yelling. He meets her halfway, picks her up and carries her out of the room, leaving Phoebe to cry for her sister. She is worried that Christian will punish her just because she wanted to visit with her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian carries Natalie into her room and changes her diaper. Natalie is still whimpering since Christian was yelling at her. After he cleans her up he lifts her and sits her on his lap so that she is facing him. He doesn't yell at her this time but his voice is stern.

"Natalie, you know the rules. Are you allowed to come upstairs by yourself?" Natalie shakes her head. "Use your words" he demands.

"No" she answers him softly.

"But you came upstairs by yourself anyway, didn't you?"

"Yes" she answers again and starts to cry lightly. She doesn't like when her father talks to her this way. She knows she's in trouble.

"And then when I told you to come to me you didn't. I need you to do what you're told, understand?"

"Yes"

Christian sighs and wipes some tears from her face. "Natalie I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I love you very much, but I need to punish you for disobeying me." With that, he lifts her off of his lap so that she is standing in front of him, and he swats her bottom three times. Natalie cries after he does it, which makes him feel very guilty. He lifts her back onto the bed and puts a clean diaper and clothes on her. As he does it he is reminded of the words Phoebe spoke just a few minutes ago. _Dad, she's only two. You can't spank her_. Swatting is hardly the same as spanking, but he did swat her pretty hard. Once she is dressed he holds her in his lap for a while to get her to calm down. She tries to wriggle out of his lap but he holds onto her. He doesn't want to let her go. She is still crying when Ana arrives home and walks into her room.

"Momma" she cries for her and puts her arms out. She starts to wriggle again since Christian is still holding her. Ana walks over and lifts her out of his lap. She looks down at Christian to find out why their baby girl is crying, but he doesn't offer up an explanation. Ana continues to hold Natalie and rub her hand on the back of her head to get her to calm down.

"Baby, what is it?" she asks her softly, but she just continues to cry.

"I punished her for coming up here by herself" Christian says softly, unable to hide his guilt.

Ana glares at him as she continues to soothe their daughter. She knows exactly what he did and she doesn't approve, but that is a discussion she will need to have with him later. Right now she needs to calm their two year old so that she can put her down for a nap.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian leaves Natalie's room since Ana dismissed him. He didn't argue. He knew there was no point. Natalie was upset with him and she wasn't going to calm down as long as he was there with them. As he reaches the bottom step he is approached by Dovis with a bouquet of flowers that was just delivered.

"What is this?" he asks disgustedly since he didn't order any flowers.

"They are for Phoebe, Sir"

Christian takes the flowers and the card from his security and dismisses him, but not before demanding that he refrain from telling Phoebe about the delivery. He walks into the kitchen and reads the card. The dozen pink roses are from Trevor. They are Phoebe's favorite.

_**Phoebe, I will send you a dozen roses every day if it means you will talk to me. Please, I miss you. I need to know what it is that I did so that I can fix it. Please give me that chance. Love, Trevor**_

Christian grimaces. He roughly tears up the card and disposes it in the garbage. The flowers follow along with a trail of wetness once he dumps the vase on top of them. "Gail" he calls out. She emerges less than ten seconds later. "Please take out the trash." Gail takes note of his foul mood and does as he says without hesitation. Ana joins him after Gail leaves the kitchen.

"Christian, we need to talk"

Christian lets out a sigh and decides to humor her. "Fine. Talk." He stands leaned against the kitchen island with his arms crossed.

"Why did you have to punish Natalie? All she wanted to do was see her sister. I know you are mad at Phoebe but did you really have to take it out on our two year old?"

"Ana, I did not punish Natalie for visiting Phoebe. I punished her for disobeying me by going upstairs on her own."

Christian walks into the main room and Ana follows. She watches as he unlocks the liquor cabinet and pulls out the bourbon. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Ana questions him.

"Of course it is" he says. He walks back into the kitchen and grabs a glass. Ana watches as he pours his drinks and chugs it.

"I want to talk about what you said in the session with Flynn" she says nervously as she crosses her arms and avoids eye contact with him.

"Which part?"

"The part where you said you wanted to belt our daughter."

Christian pauses for a moment and then takes another sip of his drink. He looks at Ana's eyes and can see pain, anger and fear. Fear of him? "Ana, that's how I feel. I am so angry with her and I want her to feel pain for causing that."

"It scares me that you feel like you have it in you to hurt her that way" she admits and looks down again.

Christian raises his glass. "Fifty Shades, Anastasia." He takes the final sip and slams the glass onto the counter. It's a miracle it didn't shatter with the amount of force he used. Ana flinches and has to fight the tears that are starting to form.

"What is happening to you? You are becoming so cold, Christian. I thought we were passed all of that darkness." Christian regards his wife and can tell that she is on the verge of falling apart. He doesn't like to see her this way. This is his biggest weakness. Seeing his wife and kids upset always gets to him. After a few beats he slowly walks over to his wife and takes her into his arms. At first she tries to fight him off, but Christian finds his patience and continues to try to hold her. Eventually she gives in and cries into his chest. He reaches up and rubs gentle circles on her back. He doesn't say anything to her. He just holds her for as long as she needs it. When she is done crying she pulls away and reaches up to dry her nose with her sleeve. "We need to fix this Christian. You need to be able to stand being in the same room with her without wanting to hurt her." Christian looks at her with confusion on his face. She has more faith in him than he has in himself. "Please eat dinner with us tonight. You haven't had dinner with us all week and we need this."

"Ana…."

"Please" she begs. "You don't have to sit next to her. You and I will switch places. You will sit between Natalie and Teddy."

"What if Natalie doesn't want to sit next to me?" he asks sadly.

Ana sighs. "Christian, she's two. She doesn't know how to hold a grudge. If anything I think she'd be upset if she didn't get to sit next to you."

Christian manages a grin at the thought. He's always sat between his kids at the dinner table. When Natalie came along he couldn't sit next to Teddy anymore, but since the girls were more picky about eating it was necessary for him to be next to them to ensure they had enough to eat. Tonight will be different though. He'll sit next to Teddy and Natalie. He'll have to see if he is able to be in the same room as Phoebe without unleashing his fury on her. He nods. "Okay. What are we having?"

Ana dries some more tears and manages a smile. "Since Gail is here today she's going to help me with dinner. We're making spaghetti and meatballs."

Christian closes the gap between them again and kisses her forehead. "Okay. I have some work to do, but I will join you for dinner, Mrs Grey."

Ana smiles and watches him retreat to his study.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Dinnertime is quiet as the family of five enjoys the spaghetti and meatballs. Christian helps Natalie a few times since it is the long spaghetti and she is unable to twirl it on her fork and spoon. He hasn't said a word to Phoebe. In fact he hasn't even made eye contact with her. He is not paying attention to how much she is eating, which is something he's never done. He is unaware that she's been pushing the food around her plate and not really eating much. Ana however does notice and calls her out on it.

"Phoebe, eat up, we've got plenty of food."

Ana looks at Christian and waits for a reaction, but she is disappointed. His focus is mainly on Natalie. Phoebe continues to move the food around on her plate. Teddy is already working on seconds when Ana brings another bowl of spaghetti to the table. Christian stops helping Natalie for a few minutes and allows her to eat some of her meatballs on her own. He works on his own food for a bit before he goes back to helping her. Ana looks at Phoebe's plate again and grows annoyed.

"Phoebe, aren't you hungry?"

Ana looks at Christian again and still doesn't get a reaction.

"No Mom, not really. I had a sandwich for lunch."

Ana looks at her with confusion. "You did? Did Mrs Taylor make it for you?"

"No, I made it myself" she says, but she is lying. The truth is Phoebe hasn't really been eating all that much. "May I be excused?" she asks.

Ana looks over at her husband again and can see that he isn't paying attention to their conversation. She lets out a long sigh. "Yes, Phoebe, you may be excused." After Phoebe leaves the table Ana looks over at her husband with disgust and shakes her head, but he doesn't look back at her.


	10. Fifty Cruel

_**Hey Readers! I know that some of you feel that this is becoming too dark, but I have decided that this needs to be dark before we find the light at the end of the tunnel. My story is centered around Christian struggling with his Fifty Shades and with his Parenting. This chapter will be dark and sad since this is still building up. I appreciate your reviews so much and I hope you continue to read and see what happens. Happy Reading!**_

* * *

Phoebe's POV

It's Friday, day five of volunteering at the hospital, and five more weeks to go. My parents decided that this would be my punishment for going on the road trip against their wishes. Or rather, my mother decided. Somehow I don't think my father had anything to do with it. If it were up to him, my backside would still be sore even to this day. He hasn't punished me like that for some time now. Mom actually told me after my sixteenth birthday that he wouldn't be doing that anymore. I didn't believe it at first, since my Dad did make a promise to me once that he wouldn't. But then he went back on his promise after I saw Caleb behind his back. Wow, Caleb. I haven't thought about him in a really long time.

Volunteering hasn't been all that bad. I get to wear these cute comfy scrubs and sneakers. I'm also learning a lot with the small jobs that the doctors and nurses keep giving me. I wouldn't mind making a career out of working here someday as a nurse or a doctor. Maybe after this punishment is over I can ask my grandmother about it. I don't want to talk to her about it now. I don't want to give her the impression that I am enjoying my punishment. I'm not really, but I am getting more out of it than I thought I would. It is also helping me keep my mind off of Trevor and my Dad.

Trevor has tried to call and text me, but I'm not ready to talk to him. I am so embarrassed that he talked to Dylan about me, and even more embarrassed about what Dylan tried to do to me. I wonder if Trevor knows about that. I know I will need to face him at some point. But for now I am keeping my distance. I won't have to be in school for another seven weeks so I don't have to worry about running into him. Unless of course he finds out that I'm here and he tries to see me. God I hope he doesn't do that.

My Dad is another story. I live in the same house as him, but he has managed to avoid and ignore me. It hurts so much that he won't talk to me. I fall asleep every night with tears drenched into my pillow because when I'm alone, all I can think about is how much I need him to talk to me. Even if it means yelling and punishing me while he's doing it. Anything is better than him ignoring me. He's never done this before. I know I let him down but he won't even give me a chance to fix it. I have to wonder if he will ever talk to me again. Just thinking about it makes me tear up. I have to suppress it and get to work. I have just finished my lunch break so I am on my way back to the fourth floor where I was assigned to volunteer today. I didn't eat much of my lunch. Mrs Taylor had made a turkey sandwich for me and also packed some fruit. I ate the fruit but I ditched the sandwich. I'll make up for it tonight. I am so excited. We are getting dressed up and going out to a fancy restaurant for Teddy's twentieth birthday.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I have decided to work from home today since it is Friday and Ana stayed home. She wasn't feeling well this morning so she didn't go into the office. I made her stay in bed all morning and rest so that she will be relaxed and ready for our son's birthday dinner tonight. I know she won't want to miss it. I worked for about two hours and now I am in the main room with Natalie. I am helping her put one of her puzzles together. She is only two and a half, but she is so smart and so well spoken. I credit Ana with that since she takes her to work with her every day. We read to her all the time and encourage her to talk to us. Once in a while we need to help her with pronunciation. She doesn't do well with her "L"s but she is too young for us to be concerned about that.

When we finish the puzzle she throws her hands up in the air in celebration. Her face is beaming with excitement. I love her this way, so happy and so carefree. I'm not quite sure what age it is that we lose that, but I hope that Natalie holds onto that for a long time. I look at my watch and it is already one in the afternoon, which means it is time for her nap. It is always so difficult to pull her away from her toys and games that make her happy and tell her she needs to nap, but I know it is necessary, especially because we are going out tonight. I make a deal with her that we can work on the puzzle again after her nap. She happily agrees and wraps her arms tightly around my neck when I pick her up. I tickle her side with one of my hands and enjoy the sound of her giggles. I can't help but beam at her.

After I put her down I walk downstairs and I am met by Taylor. He has another bouquet of roses which are no doubt from Trevor. He's been sending Phoebe roses every day, and every day I've been throwing them in the garbage. Taylor had asked me about it only once, and I yelled at him explaining that I don't want Phoebe to have them and I don't want her to know about them. He has not questioned me since, but he still lets me know about the daily delivery of roses. I am getting so fed up with this kid sending my daughter roses. I'm not sure what happened with those two but I don't really care. He was the reason she went on this road trip, so as far as I'm concerned they can stay broken up.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

It is nearly seven and everyone is preparing to leave the house for Teddy's birthday dinner. Christian and Teddy are in the foyer waiting. Christian is wearing a dark gray suit while Teddy has settled on a navy blue suit. Taylor and Gail are also waiting. They will be accompanying them.

Ana walks down the steps holding Natalie's hand and they are met by Christian. Ana is wearing a lose, long navy blue dress, attempting to hide her small baby bump. Nobody knows about her pregnancy, but she and Christian had planned to tell the family tonight. Christian takes her hands and kisses her forehead. Ana lets him know that Phoebe will be down in a minute, and he grimaces. "Teddy, why don't you take your mother and sister and wait in the car?" he asks him with a stern voice. Teddy takes his mother's arm and Natalie's hand and they walk together out of the house. Taylor and Gail follow. Christian stands in the foyer with his hands in his pockets and watches Phoebe walk down the steps. His expression is unreadable. She is wearing an elegant long silver dress with a thick strap that only wraps over one shoulder. She is also wearing silver strappy sandals with a low heel. She did that on purpose since she knows her father does not like her in high heels. He always fears she will fall flat on her face. She stands a few feet away from her father when she reaches the bottom of the steps and waits for him to say something. Anything.

"You won't be joining us tonight Phoebe" he says in a low cold voice.

Phoebe's face falls and she immediately feels emotional. "Why not?"

Christian is unaffected by her emotional state and he remains cold and distant. "I made the reservation weeks ago, and I made it for thirteen people. You weren't here and I didn't know if you would be for tonight's dinner." Phoebe looks down and away from her father. She feels tears starting to form in her eyes. "Mr and Mrs Dovis are here and will prepare your dinner."

Phoebe suddenly finds it hard to breath. The first time in weeks he talks to her, and this is what he says to her. He excludes her from her brother's birthday dinner. Without another word he turns on his heel and leaves the house, without her. After he closes the door Phoebe rushes up the steps and just makes it to her room. She throws herself onto her bed and sobs into her pillow. She cannot think of a more hurtful thing he could have done.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian climbs into the back of their family SUV with Ana, Teddy and Natalie and closes the door.

"Where's Phoebe?" Ana asks him.

"She will not be joining us." Christian's expression is still cold and he does not make eye contact with any of his family members.

"What do you mean she won't be joining us? Dad, it's my birthday?"

"Leave it alone, Theodore."

Teddy looks over at his mother and can see she is not pleased.

"This is ridiculous, I will go and get her." Ana starts to climb out the car but  
Christian stops her.

"No, you won't." Christian glares at her and gives her a 'don't mess with me' look.

"Christian!"

"Phoebe is not coming, end of discussion" he says harshly. Teddy looks over at Natalie who is sitting in her car seat next to him and tries to distract her from their father's foul mood.

"This isn't over Grey" Ana says to him quietly and equally harsh.

They ride in silence as they pick up Rebecca. Taylor puts her wheelchair in the back of the car and Teddy helps her into her seat. She is wearing a long black dress with a slit up the side that stops at her knee. She notices right away that the atmosphere in the car is not very friendly and decides to keep quiet. She is aware of how things have been since Phoebe came home because Teddy tells her everything. She also notices that Phoebe isn't in the car with them. She takes Teddy's hand in hers and offers a small smile. He takes comfort in having her there with him and smiles back.

Once they are at the restaurant they are seated at a big table in the middle so that they can fit the entire Grey clan. They take their seats toward the middle. Teddy and Rebecca sit next to each other, Taylor and Gail, and Christian and Ana. Ana wanted to have Natalie sit between her and her husband, but Christian had already put Natalie on the other side of him. She is angry at him for excluding Phoebe, but she has to suppress that anger. It is her son's birthday, and the last thing she wants to do is make a scene in the restaurant.

Carrick and Grace arrive and greet each member of the family, and they are followed by Elliot, Kate, Ava and their one year old son Cameron. Ava is the first to ask where Phoebe is. Even though she is sore at her for not including her on the road trip, she is eager to sit next to her at this dinner and catch up with her. Nobody answers her question. She looks back and forth at her aunt and uncle waiting for an answer before Elliot puts his hand on her shoulder and directs her to take a seat. He can tell that something is up and he doesn't want to bring any more attention to it.

Ava sits across from Teddy and Rebecca and waits for the adults to be deep in conversation before asking about her cousin again.

"Why isn't Phoebe here?" she whispers to Teddy.

Teddy sighs and looks at his girlfriend before looking back at Ava. "I don't know what happened. She was getting ready to go, but I think Dad stopped her from coming with us."

"Why?" Her voice is not as low and some of the adults look over in her direction. The teens wait for the adults to go back to their conversations before discussing Phoebe again.

"Dad is angry with Phoebe. He's taking it too far" he whispers angrily. Rebecca holds his hand and rubs his back to try to get him to calm down.

The entrees come and the family is quiet as they eye the big portions of food that are put in front of them. They had decided on an Italian restaurant and they serve their food family style. The family passes around the large plates of clams, shrimp scampi, pasta pomodoro, lasagna, chicken parmigiana, penne vodka, and mixed vegetables. Once all the food is eaten Christian stands with his glass of wine. He has a smile on his face, which Teddy and Ana find odd. At first Ana does not know what he is doing, but after he starts talking she quickly realizes that he is going to announce her pregnancy. She doesn't want him to do it, not without Phoebe there, but she doesn't know how to stop him. Before she can react, the words are out of his mouth.

"Ana and I are having another baby"

The family gasps with excitement, forgetting for a moment that Phoebe is not there with them. Rebecca looks over at Teddy with both excitement and surprise. "Did you know about this?"

"No" he says. He is happy and sad at the same time. Happy that his parents are having another baby, but sad that his sister is not there to enjoy the news. He starts to feel angry again at his father for doing this. He purposely made the announcement without Phoebe. He looks over at his mother and watches his Aunt Kate embrace her. He can tell that she is not pleased either. Elliot congratulates Christian with a hug and pat on the back. Natalie just sits in her booster seat completely oblivious to what is happening. She is chomping on broken up pieces of bread.

Next the wait staff brings out the cake and sings their version of "Happy Birthday" in Italian. Everyone in the restaurant claps for him and Teddy's face turns a shade of red. Rebecca laughs at him and kisses his cheek. "Happy Birthday Baby" she says to him lovingly and puts her arm around him. She snuggles into his neck and he kisses the top of her head. Even though they are full from their dinner, most of the family members accept a small piece of cake to eat there at the restaurant. Christian feeds some to Natalie since she is tired and wanted to eat with her fingers. Ana watches and cannot believe how he can be so warm with Natalie and at the same time be so cold with Phoebe. She is at a loss with what to do. She is so angry that he excluded Phoebe from the dinner party. She knows that she cannot let this go.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The family arrives home and walks into the house in silence. Teddy and Taylor help Rebecca into the house with her wheelchair. Christian carries Natalie since she had fallen asleep in the car. Ana and Gail are the last to walk in, Ana looking very tired.

"Mr and Mrs Grey, thank you for letting me stay here while my father is out of town" Rebecca says once she is settled in her wheelchair.

"You're welcome" Ana says to her. Christian nods and walks up the stairs to put Natalie to bed.

"I brought a piece of cake for Phoebe" Rebecca says to Teddy.

He smiles at her and leans down to kiss her forehead. "Thank you, I should spend some time with her before I turn in. But let me help you up the stairs first." Teddy lifts Rebecca into his arms and carries her up the stairs. Taylor follows carrying her wheelchair. Ana smiles at them. She is so happy that her son has Rebecca in his life. And she is so proud of the way he is with her. She thinks back to the conversation that Rebecca had with her earlier. She felt funny sleeping in the same room with Teddy in his parents' house, so she had asked her if she could sleep in one the guest rooms. Teddy wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he is respecting her wishes.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Teddy knocks on Phoebe's door and walks in with the piece of cake. She is curled up on her bed and she is still wearing her silver dress. He feels so guilty for allowing this to happen. He knows now that he should have demanded that they turn the car around when he realized that Phoebe was being excluded. But it is too late for that now. He sits on her bed as Ana joins them too.

Teddy gets Phoebe to sit up he holds her as she cries. Ana sits on the bed too and rubs her back. They sit and comfort her until she stops crying. When she is finished, she pulls away and they can see that she's been crying for hours. Ana reaches up and caresses her cheek.

"We're so sorry, Baby. We had no idea this was going to happen" Ana says to her softly.

"What? That Dad was going to exclude me from dinner?" she sniffles.

"We would have never gone along with it if we knew he was going to do that" Teddy adds.

"What am I going to do? Dad hates me" Phoebe says as she wipes her nose with the back of her hand.

"Dad doesn't hate you" Teddy tries.

"Yes he does. He hasn't talk to me in weeks, and today when he finally did, it was to tell me that I wasn't going. That he didn't make the reservation big enough to include me." Phoebe has to stop talking so that she can take breaths. Ana rubs her back again and looks sadly at Teddy.

"Rebecca brought a piece of cake home for you" he says softly and shows her the cake."

Phoebe sniffles again. "Thanks, but I don't think I can eat that right now."

Teddy and Ana sit with Phoebe until she is able to fall asleep. Before she does Teddy tells her that she can spend the day with him and Rebecca tomorrow.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After putting Natalie to bed and watching her sleep for a while, Christian leaves her room and approaches his. The door is shut. He tries to open it but it is locked. He reaches up for the key and immediately gets annoyed that it isn't there. He knocks on the door and proceeds to bang on it when Ana doesn't answer right away. When she does she stands in the doorway in her robe. He can see anger and confidence in her eyes. _I miss the days when I could easily intimidate this woman_.

"Why is the door locked Anastasia?" he asks her.

"Christian, what you did to our daughter tonight is beyond cruel. I know you are angry with her, but you have taken this way too far."

Christian looks puzzled. He shifts his weight a few times and looks down at his wife again. He is tired, and all he wants to do is curl up in bed and hold his wife, but it is not looking like that is going to happen.

"What do you want Ana?"

Ana throws a pillow at him. "Sleep in the guest room. I am not sleeping with you until you stop acting like an ass and work to resolve things with our daughter."

"Ana"

"Goodnight" she says sternly before she shuts the door and locks it again. Christian just stands there for a few minutes and stares at the door. He and Ana have had their ups and downs, but she has never banished him from their bedroom. He becomes angry, but he doesn't bang on the door again. Instead he turns and walks away from their bedroom and toward the stairs. He has never slept in their guest room and never plans to. He finds himself in his study and plops down in his chair. After about thirty minutes of reading emails his eyes become heavy and he can no longer fight sleep. He rests his head on his desk as sleep quickly finds him.


	11. Fifty Nightmare

**_Thank you so much for the reviews! It was interesting to see the mixed reviews and I always appreciate the time taken to write them. I like reading what you think even if you disagree with the direction I am taking this. Here is another chapter. Happy Reading!_**

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Christian's POV

_I've been so busy with paperwork and calls today. I feel like I've worked thirty six hours straight. It is mostly due to the absence of an employee I had to fire recently. He had stopped performing for my company and after losing a few deals I had to let him go. I haven't found a person qualified enough to replace him. So I have had to fill in and take extra meetings that he would be taking if he were still here. I feel so guilty because I have my daughter here with me today. My baby girl Phoebe. Ana always takes Teddy and Phoebe to work with her, but I had to take Phoebe to her six month check-up since Ana's assistant booked back to back meetings for her today. So, I have Phoebe here with me._

_I take a moment and look down at her. I can't help but smile at my baby girl. I can't believe she is already six months old. It feels like yesterday when I held her in my arms for the first time. The doctor had put her in my arms immediately after removing her from Ana's womb. The feeling of holding her for the first time is just indescribable. I don't think I've shed more tears in my life than I shed that day. I just instantly loved her so much. She was a preemie. I remember how small she was and I remember counting all ten fingers and toes. She was tiny, but she was perfect._

_I was very pleased to hear the good things the doctor had to say at her well visit. My baby girl is at a very healthy height and weight and we can start giving her more solids. We've already been giving her the rice cereal and she's been doing very well with that. But now we can start giving her the baby meats, fruits and vegetables. She had to get a few shots, which I hate, but they were necessary. She did very well with the first three, but she started to scream after the fourth one. I was glad when it was over. I hate that part of my kids' well visits. _

_I watch her for a few minutes as she plays on the floor of my office. Her hair had just started to come in. She doesn't have a lot of it yet but I can tell it is a very light brown color. She is wearing long sleeved footsy pajamas so I don't have to worry about her being cold. I have a few blankets on the floor in case she moves around. She lies on her stomach sometimes while she plays, and then she rolls onto her back. She has recently showed signs of starting to crawl, but she is not there yet. She can't seem to get her stomach off the ground. She'll try a few times, get frustrated and then resume playing with a toy that is within her reach._

_I am interrupted when my phone rings. I growl in frustration before I answer. I am in deep conversation with my contact out in Taiwan when my ex-employee Timothy Marks bursts in and scoops up my daughter. I drop the phone and rush toward him. He stops me in my tracks when he pulls out a hand gun and aims it at me. I put both of my hands up as a natural reaction and I can feel the sweat start to run down my face. He has my baby girl and he is threatening me with a gun._

"_What do you want?" I ask him. I can hear my voice quivering. I am not scared for me. I am scared for my daughter._

"_Not so tough now are you, Mr Grey?" he asks me._

_My fear is suddenly replaced by anger and rage. He has my daughter. "Let her go, you don't need her" I say to him._

"_I disagree" he says. "The way I see it, you have everything, and I have nothing. You fired me and took away my ability to support my family. You have made it so I can't get another job anywhere in this country."_

"_You sold me out to my competitors. Nobody's going to hire someone that is disloyal."_

"_No thanks to you" he says. "You need to pay Grey. But not with money. No, that would be way too easy. I have something much bigger in mind."_

"_You can't have my daughter. Somehow you've managed to get into this building. And for that more people will need to be fucking fired. But I can assure you, you will not make it out of this building" I yell at him. Phoebe starts to cry when she hears me yell. Marks doesn't know what to do. He has Phoebe in one arm and he's holding the gun with his other hand. Finally I see Taylor in the door way. About fucking time. I decide to bring attention to my bodyguard in an effort to bring Marks down. He turns around and starts to walk backward when he sees Taylor. Before I can take him out he shoots at my baby girl._

"Nooooooo!" I yell as I wake up. I look around and see that I am in my study, still wearing the same dress shirt and suit pants from last night. I look down at my watch and it is three in the morning. Why the fuck do I always wake up from a nightmare at three? It is like clockwork. I don't have nightmares that often. I'm sure I had one since I am not sleeping with my Ana. I always sleep better with her.

I take a moment to think about this nightmare as I work to catch my breath. My daughter was almost kidnapped when she was only six months old. But I saved her. Marks didn't shoot her, that's not how it happened. So why did it happen that way in my nightmare? I rub my head hard out of tiredness and frustration. I briefly think about walking up the stairs to see if Ana will allow me into our bedroom again, but somehow I doubt that. She is pissed at me, and she will be until I forgive our daughter. I am having a really hard time with that. She disobeyed me and she left me. I feel like she took all of the love and support that I've given her over the past seventeen years and just stomped on it. Everything I do I do for my family. And now I feel like it is worth nothing. All because Phoebe left.

There is so much pain and anger inside of me that I have yet to sort out since she's been home. I haven't felt this way in a really long time. Probably not since I've been a teenager. I need to put this anger somewhere, but where? I can't go back to my dominant life style and beat the shit out of willing submissives. I gave up that shit and chose more with Ana. I cannot go back there again. I won't. Ana and my kids are too important to me. I need to find a way to deal with my anger before I lose them. I think several appointments with Flynn are in order.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Teddy visits Phoebe in her room first thing in the morning. He wants to make sure she is okay. When he walks in he finds her brushing her hair in the mirror. She is already dressed for the day. His mood changes when he sees her. He'd expected to find her pouting about missing his birthday dinner last night. Instead he finds her getting ready for the day. He had invited her to join him and Rebecca on a picnic, so she is most likely looking forward to that.

"It's good to see you up" he says to her.

"Yeah well, can't stay in bed forever." She finishes brushing her hair and looks for a pair of earrings to wear. "Are you sure it's okay that I come with you today?"

"Of course, Rebecca and I both want to spend time with you" he tries to assure her. She sits down on her bed and he sits down to face her. "You know, I talked to Trevor yesterday."

Phoebe gives him a shocked and worried look. "You did?"

"Yeah. He's been wanting to talk to you." Phoebe looks down at the bedspread and runs her finger along the design. "Phoebe, there's something I need to tell you."

Phoebe can hear regret in his voice and almost doesn't want to hear what he has to say. But her curiosity is eating at her. "What is it?"

"Trevor's been sending you flowers. And, well, Dad has been throwing them away."

"What?" Phoebe becomes angry and hurt at the same time. He's been sending flowers? She's received a few texts messages from him and he's tried to call her a few times. But she didn't know about the flowers.

"He's been sending them every day. And I caught Dad throwing them away. I didn't know until yesterday that those flowers were for you." Phoebe can feel the pain in her chest. Her father is really trying to hurt her. And it is working. "I'm sorry Phoebs."

"No, it's okay. I'm glad you told me" she says with her voice quivering.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asks her and rubs his hand on her back.

Phoebe nods but she is not convincing. "Yeah. I just need a few minutes, and then I'll come downstairs.

Teddy takes this as a queue to leave. He rises from the bed and leaves the room. Phoebe doesn't hesitate. She rises from the bed and storms down the stairs. She suddenly has this rush of adrenaline and she knows she needs to take advantage of it. It is now or never.

She knocks on the door of her father's study. She knows he is in there since he wasn't upstairs or in the kitchen. She doesn't wait for him to answer or grant her permission to enter. She opens the door and walks in until she is standing in the middle of his study, taking Christian by surprise.

"What do you want from me?" she asks him in a raised emotional voice. Christian just stands and stares at her. "What is it going to take to get you to stop this? You won't talk to me, you won't eat meals with our family, you are mean to Mom and Natalie…" Phoebe grows more emotional as she continues her speech. She is so angry and so hurt and it is evident in her body language and voice. "You wouldn't let me go to Teddy's birthday dinner, you…. you've been throwing away flowers that my boyfriend sent, what's it going to take for you to stop this? What do I need to do? Please, tell me Dad." At this point she is in tears. Ana has appeared in the doorway after hearing everything Phoebe has said, but she remains quiet. "What do you want from me?" She screams louder at him. "Do you want to punish me? Because anything is better than this. If you want to spank me then do it."

"Careful what you wish for, because that can certainly be arranged" he growls.

"Christian!" Ana scolds as she walks into the study.

"Anastasia, she said it, not me. If our daughter wants me to spank her I'll do it."

"Enough!" Ana yells. At this point Phoebe has sunk to the floor and she is sobbing. Ana kneels down and puts her arms around her.

"Ana, I have work to do" Christian says.

"That will have to wait" Ana says harshly. "Phoebe, wait for me in the main room." She helps Phoebe stand and watches her leave the study. Once the door is closed she unleashes her fury. "What is the matter with you? Our daughter just poured her heart out to you and all you can do is stand there and threaten punishment? I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Anastasia, I am your husband and the father of your children. And I am also fifty shades of fucked up. You knew that when you married me."

"Christian, you cannot hide behind that excuse anymore. You are a father and your daughter needs you" she tries to reason.

"If she needed me, she shouldn't have left" he snaps.

"But she did" she says softly. "She did, and she regrets it. Especially because of the way you've been treating her. I know you want to punish her, but this is not punishment. It is cruel and it is hurtful. How would you feel if Carrick or Grace did this to you?"

The question hangs out there for a few seconds as Christian looks down at his desk. "I wouldn't like it" he says almost quietly.

"You have to stop this. I hate what this is doing to you and I'm afraid of what this is going to do to Phoebe. She could shut down on us, she could become depressed and distant and she could wind up hurting herself."

Christian thinks about his wife's words. He wants to fix things, but he doesn't know how. And he's still afraid of his hurt and anger toward his daughter. Those feelings are still very much on the surface and he's afraid of what he will do. He doesn't respond.

"We need to tell Phoebe I am pregnant before she finds out from anyone else." Christian nods, and Ana nods back. They both leave the study and find Phoebe in the main room. She is curled up on the couch wiping tears away with her untailored long sleeves.

Ana sits on the coffee table in front of Phoebe while Christian stands a few feet away with his hands in his pockets. "Phoebe, we have some news that we want to share with you" Ana says lightly. She smiles at Phoebe in an effort to show her that the news she has to share is good, but Phoebe keeps the frown on her face. Ana takes one of her daughter's hands in both of hers as she prepares to tell her. "Your father and I are going to have another baby." Phoebe looks wide eyed at her mother and then chances a look at her father. Christian's expression is blank as he remains standing with his hands in his pockets. "I am due the first week of January."

"Congratulations" Phoebe says lightly, but not very convincingly. "How long have you known?"

Ana looks over at Christian and then back at Phoebe. "We'll, we've known for a couple weeks, but we wanted to wait before we started telling people."

Phoebe looks down at her hand in her mother's as a hurtful thought comes to mind. "So, I guess that means you started telling people last night, at the dinner." Ana looks down and Phoebe already has her answer. "That's just great." Phoebe stands and walks out of the room. Ana sighs and covers her face with both of her hands. She hates that Phoebe is hurting. She becomes angrier with Christian and doesn't allow him to comfort her. He puts a hand on her shoulder and she pulls away from him.

"Don't" she says angrily. She leaves the room and Christian doesn't follow her. He starts to feel pain in his chest for everything that is happening. This should be a happy time. He and Ana should be looking forward to having another baby. They should be talking about which room will be the nursery and how they would like to decorate it. Ana should be sitting with her feet up and laying off the stress. Instead he is allowing the tension from Phoebe's road trip carry on by not talking to his daughter and resolving things. He reaches into his pocket for his blackberry and finds the number for John Flynn. The therapist answers on the second ring and agrees to meet with him first thing tomorrow.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

It is Monday afternoon and Phoebe has just finished another day volunteering at the hospital. She doesn't look or feel well. Each day is spent just getting by with everything that she has to accomplish while she walks around with a dark cloud following her. She spends her weekdays volunteering at the hospital doing odd jobs that nurses and doctors give to her. She then leaves and goes home but on some nights she has dance class. Right now she is being dropped off by Dovis and she immediately walks into the studio's dressing room to change. When she meets with the other students she immediately gets to work with her stretches and exercises that are required before starting class. Her teacher notices that something isn't right with Phoebe and she calls her out on it as she stretches at the barre.

"Everything okay Miss Grey?" she asks her.

"Fine, Miss Jenna" she responds. She tries to make her voice sound cheery in an effort to cover how she is really feeling. The teacher decides to let it go and proceeds to check on the other students.

When the teacher calls the students to the floor to warm up, each student takes their spot and they spread out. The teacher leads them in exercise and calls out what they need to be doing with their arms, legs, back, shoulders, stomach and butt. She needs to correct Phoebe several times which is unusual. Phoebe is usually focused when she comes to class, but lately that has been lacking. Phoebe starts to feel light headed, but she works hard to continue with the exercise. When the teacher looks in the mirror at Phoebe she notices that something is not right and she stops. She stands and turns around to look at her, and the students also turn to see what is happening. Phoebe suddenly cannot keep her eyes open and she black out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

My head feels fuzzy. Everything is dark. I try to open my eyes but I can't. I don't know what's happening, but at the same time I'm not afraid. I can feel someone holding my hand and it is familiar. I feel safe with the touch. I don't know who is holding my hand but I hope the person doesn't let go.

I can't remember the last thing that happened. Am I asleep? Am I dreaming? Why can't I open my eyes? I hear voices but I can't make out who is talking or what they are saying. They sound like the teacher on those Peanut shows that Teddy and I used to watch. Soon the voices stop and I just hear a beeping noise. What is that? It sounds like one of those machines I was hooked up to when I was in the hospital. Oh no, am I in the hospital? What happened to me?

When I open my eyes things are not in focus right away. I can hear a beeping noise and some faint voices talking, like they are far away. I can feel someone holding my hand. I stare ahead for a few seconds and my vision starts to come back. It looks like there's a big curtain in front of me and on both sides of me. I'm in the hospital. I look to my left and can see the person that is holding my hand sitting in a chair. It's Dad, and he doesn't look happy. I look to my right and can see that there is an IV in my right hand. I hate needles. I start to panic but my Dad grabs my attention by sitting on my bed. He is still holding my hand.

"The IV is giving you nourishment. You passed out because you are malnourished and dehydrated" he says. I can hear sadness in his voice. And something else I don't hear very often, fear.

"You're talking to me?"

"So it seems" he answers me.

My emotions get the better of me and I start to cry. I can't stop myself. Tears start pouring out of my eyes. "I thought you hated me. I thought you would never speak to me again" I say overdramatically. But that is how I feel. I've been lying on a slant and I can feel him pull me up and hold me. His hand rubs up and down the entire length of my back and all I can do is sob into his shoulder.

"I don't hate you Phoebe" he says to me softly, and that only makes me cry harder.

"You didn't want to be around me. I thought you stopped loving me" I say through my sobs. He continues to rub my back and I can feel him rest his chin on my back. He holds me for a while until I am able to stop crying. I still have tears running down my face when he releases me and has me lie back against the hospital bed.

"Phoebe, I certainly don't hate you" he says as he holds my hand again. And I would never stop loving you. I'm angry and disappointed, but I could only feel those things if I love you."

I think I can understand that. If I didn't love Dad his lack of attention wouldn't have hurt me so much. I reach up to wipe my tears and remember the IV that is in my hand. I don't have much time to think about it because a doctor emerges from behind the curtain. I recognize him immediately. "Travis?" It is Trevor's brother and he is wearing a white doctor's coat. He has my chart in his hand and he starts to read through it.

"Good to see you, Phoebe. Although I do wish it were under better circumstances." He looks over at my father. "Mr Grey, I'm Dr Travis Lansing."

He starts to examine me and I instantly feel uncomfortable. "What are you doing?"

"Relax, I am just checking your pulse. Just breathe normal."

I look at my Dad and can tell he is not happy with this arrangement. But he doesn't say anything. That's a first.

"Phoebe, do you know where you are?" he asks me when he's done examining me. Is he for real?

"Hospital"

"That's correct. Do you know why?"

I look over at my Dad and can see both sadness and disappointment. Great, more disappointment. I certainly will never win any daughter of the year award. "Um, I guess I didn't eat enough" I say sheepishly. I know I haven't been eating much, but it was never intentional.

"That's right, Phoebe. You were lucky this time. Not getting enough nourishment and liquids could lead to some serious health issues. I'd like you to talk to a doctor we have here on staff that specializes in…."

"You think I have an eating disorder?" I interrupt him. At this point my Dad is on his feet and he is walking over to Travis.

"Thank you, Dr Lansing. My wife and I will take it from here" he says in his CEO voice. But he seems calm.

"Very good, Mr Grey"

"Travis, please, you can't tell Trevor that I'm here" I beg him.

"You're right, I can't. Doctor patient confidentiality. Don't worry, I take my job very seriously. I won't say a word."

"Thank you" I say to him. I'm relieved. I really don't want Trevor to know about this.

"Do you mind if I say something though?" I nod. "My brother misses you, Phoebe. The way he talks about you, I can tell he really cares. Just please think about giving him another chance."

I ponder this for a moment. Trevor cares. I believe that. He's been so good to me. But why would he tell his cousin personal things about me? I start to wonder if he has told Travis. How embarrassing. I look over at him again and he grins.

"When can I take her home?" my father cuts in.

"The nurse will be in shortly to replace that drip. I'd like for her to stick around until that entire drip is finished."

Travis leaves and my mother appears. She looks so tired and so worried. I hate that she's worried because of me. She wraps her arms around me in a tight hug and holds me for a short while. When she releases me she sits in the chair on the right side of my bed. "I'm sorry Mom."

"I'm so glad you're okay" she says to me with tears in her eyes. Dad passes her a box of tissues and she smiles at him. "Phoebe, why did you stop eating?"

The question takes me by surprise. I didn't realize that that happened. "I didn't. I didn't stop eating, I guess I just didn't eat enough."

"Phoebe, everything's going to be alright" she assures me. "But we need to make sure this doesn't happen again."

"It won't" my father says simply. I look at him expecting to see his angry face, but he doesn't look angry. If I didn't know any better I'd say he looks relieved.


	12. Fifty PTO

Christian's POV

It's been a long night. I've spent the past couple hours in the ER with my daughter. I can't believe she was starving herself. I've been so consumed by pain and anger, I've failed to notice that she wasn't eating enough. I've always been on her about that, making sure she ate enough for breakfast and dinner, and lunch if I were with her during the day. She was always so small and skinny so I often worried about her not getting enough nutrients. I've always insisted that she and Natalie be sat next to me for meals for that reason, so that I can monitor how much they eat. But lately I've been shutting Phoebe out and not paying attention. I can't do that anymore. She needs me and I need her to be alive.

I'm grateful that Taylor had dropped off pajamas for her to change into. It took some time for the second drip to finish and she had fallen asleep. I stayed awake and sat with her the entire time. I had to convince my stubborn wife to go home and look after herself and the baby that is inside of her. She needs her sleep more than I do.

We arrive home around two in the morning and Phoebe is more or less still asleep. I walk into the house behind her with my hands on her hips to guide her and make sure she doesn't fall. She didn't want to be carried, but I decide that she needs to be once we reach the bottom of the stairs. She is not awake enough to handle the steps. She doesn't fight me when I cradle her in my arms and climb the stairs. I notice right away when I lift her that she is lighter than I remember. Once we are in her room I tuck her into bed and sit in the chair beside her. I'm not sure how long I sit and watch her, but as I start to doze off I wake with a jolt when a hand touches my shoulder.

I turn around to see my wife standing behind me in her night gown and robe. She is holding her pregnancy belly with her other hand. She runs her hand down my arm and takes my hand into hers. "Come to bed" she says to me softly. I almost don't believe it since she hasn't allowed me into our bed the past few nights. She says it again. "Please come to bed Christian."

I turn and look at Phoebe. She is sleeping peacefully. She should be out for the next few hours. I stand and follow my wife into our bedroom.

After I brush my teeth and change into pajama pants I join my wife in bed. She is lying on her side facing me. She shouldn't be awake, but I'm kind of glad she is. I need her. I lie on my side and stare into her beautiful blue eyes. I've missed those eyes. They are so full of love and hope, but at the same time I also see fear and pain. I know I'm the cause of that. I can't imagine what she sees when she looks into my eyes. We don't exchange words. We just lie and stare at each other. It's nice. Just having her here with me. And to think I almost messed this up forever. Lying here with her gives me hope that we can fix everything that's happened.

"A penny for your thoughts" she says to me, stealing my line. I can't help but smirk at her. But the smirk is quickly replaced by a frown. I know I need to tell her about my nightmare, not to make her feel bad, but to let her in on something that's been haunting me.

"The other night, when I was sleeping in my study, I had a nightmare." I can't lie like this on my side anymore. I sit up and bring my knees up and rest my elbows on them. Ana sits up and joins me.

"What was it about?" She starts rubbing my back. I love her hands on me. They are so soothing.

"It was more like a flashback. That time in my office when Phoebe was six months old, and Marks tried to take her. He had a gun." I take a moment to breathe as I recall one of the days from my life that I'd rather forget. I run both of my hands through my hair before I continue. "He had her in one arm and he was holding the gun with his other hand. He threatened to take her. Taylor came in and we were able to stop him."

"Yes, you were able to stop him" she tries to assure me. "And Phoebe was fine. She didn't know what was happening and she doesn't remember it."

"But I remember it. And I've always felt guilty about her being in danger for even a second." I run my hand through my hair again as I think about the gun. "In the dream, Marks shot Phoebe. That's not how it really happened, so why would it happen that way in my dream?"

Ana continues to rub my back and tries to calm me down. "It's probably tied to the way things have been lately with you and Phoebe."

"You think?"

Ana wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my arm. "You both have a lot of healing to do. Our daughter is still young and immature. She doesn't understand the full extent of what she's done. First by leaving, and then starving herself. She still needs us. She needs both of us, Christian."

"I'm not going anywhere Ana" I say to her softly. I mean it. As angry as I am with Phoebe I can't allow this to go on.

"Good"

I turn my head and look into my wife's eyes again. "It's late, and a certain mother to be needs her rest." I get her to lie down and I kiss the spot between her eyes. "Good night Mrs Grey."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The next morning, Ana is in the kitchen with Natalie when a frantic Phoebe runs in.

"Mom, I've over slept. I'm going to be late."

Even though Phoebe's punishment was to volunteer from eight to four, Phoebe has been getting to the hospital at seven every morning to ensure she is on time. She's also been leaving thirty minutes late. Ana is proud of her for applying herself as a volunteer, even if it is for punishment. She chuckles and walks over to Phoebe to give her a hug. She is still in her pajamas and her hair is a mess. "It's okay Sweetheart. You are not going to volunteer today."

"I'm not?" Phoebe looks so confused and worried. She puts her hands on her head when Ana releases her.

"No, you're not. You need to stay home and rest today. You can go back tomorrow if you are feeling well enough." Ana walks back over to the counter and continues to cut bananas up for Natalie.

"Mom, I'm not supposed to miss any days. Are you sure this is okay?"

Ana looks at her daughter again and can't believe she is panicking about this. She walks back over to her again and puts her hands on her shoulders.

"Phoebe, listen to me. You need to stay home today and rest. And you are going to eat the foods on the list that Doctor Lansing prepared for us." Ana brings her hand to Phoebe's face and caresses her cheek.

"Is Dad going to be mad if I don't go?" she asks softly.

Ana has to fight the smile that is threatening to cross her face. Phoebe is being ridiculous. "No, Honey he's not. We both agreed that you will be staying home. Now why don't you go relax in the main room and I'll make you some tea? Gail will be in shortly and she'll make some breakfast for you."

Phoebe does as she's told and retreats to the main room after Ana gives her a friendly pat on her bottom. She sits on the couch and covers her face with her hands as she breathes. After a while Teddy walks in and startles her when he greets her.

"Sorry, Phoebs, I didn't mean to startle you. Here's your tea."

"Thanks Teddy" she says softly.

"You know you gave us a real scare last night" he says to her.

She looks up at him with her puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to."

"How are you feeling?"

Phoebe takes a sip of her tea and puts it down on the coaster. She shrugs her shoulders. "I guess I feel okay. But Mom and Dad want me to stay home today."

"It's for the best. You need to get some food in you. And you need to start eating properly again, otherwise I'll need to find a way to finish my college education from home so that I can feed you myself."

Phoebe lets out a light chuckle but then turns serious again. "Are you staying home today?"

Teddy sighs. "I'd love to Sis, but I can't. I'm going with Rebecca to the hospital for a round of tests that she's gotta have before her next surgery."

"Do you think she'll walk again?" Phoebe asks sheepishly, not knowing if it was appropriate for her to ask.

"That's the plan" he says. "I have to go and help her get ready. Are you going to be alright?"

Phoebe nods and smiles at him. "Good luck Teddy."

"Thanks Phoebe." Teddy kisses her forehead and leaves the room.

Phoebe takes another sip of her tea and then puts it down again. When she looks up she sees her father with a cup of coffee in his hand and a plate of food in the other.

"Here is your toast and oatmeal. You need to eat all of this" he says to her and then sits on the coffee table to face her.

Phoebe notices that he is wearing his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He is usually dressed in his expensive CEO suit and tie this time in the morning. "You're not going into the office?"

Christian shakes his head. "No. You see, I was in the ER with my daughter last night. We got home pretty late, so I think that constitutes some PTO."

"PTO?"

Christian looks up at her. "Paid time off. It was a joke."

"Oh"

"Eat" he softly commands.

"You're letting me eat in here?" Phoebe is surprised because they are never allowed food in the main room.

"Yes for now you can eat in here." He continues to watch her hoping she will eat without him having to coerce her. She has to think it over for a few moments, which makes him nervous. She finally picks up a piece of toast and starts on that. It takes her a while to finish one piece since she takes her time. "Can I ask you something" Christian asks softly after observing her for a few minutes.

"Sure"

"Do you feel hungry?"

Phoebe looks down at her plate in her lap and then shrugs her shoulders. "I guess I feel a little hungry."

"Can you tell me what you _are_ feeling?

Phoebe takes a bite of her second piece of toast while she thinks about it. She chews it slowly just as she did with the first piece. "Sad" she says softly after she swallows.

"What are you sad about?"

Phoebe looks up at her father with a sad expression. "I don't know really. I guess I'm sad that I made you angry, so angry that you stopped talking to me."

Christian looks down at his folded hands and sighs softly. "I am angry with you Phoebe. But shutting you out was not the answer. For that I apologize. I set a really bad example by doing that, and I've also failed to see that you were having a problem with eating." Phoebe grimaces as she looks down at her oatmeal. She knows she won't be able to get out of eating it. She likes oatmeal, but right now she's not in the mood for it. "Is there something wrong with the oatmeal?"

Phoebe shakes her head. "No"

"Then why aren't you eating it?" Christian tries hard to keep the irritation out of his voice.

Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. She gingerly uses the spoon and scoops some into her mouth. Christian gives her an approving nod. After she's finished he takes the plate from her and places it next to him on the coffee table.

"You haven't called me Peanut" she says softly, so softly that he doesn't hear her.

"What?"

"You haven't called me Peanut" she says a bit more clearly. "Aren't you ever going to call me that again?"

Christian breaks eye contact with her and takes a few seconds to answer her. "I don't know."

Phoebe looks down and squeezes her eyes shut as tears escape them. "Are you trying to hurt me?"

Christian continues to keep his voice soft. "That's not my intention." Christian sighs as he looks at his teary daughter. "Phoebe, you need to understand that what you did left a lot of pain and anger inside of me. And I'm having a really hard time letting it go."

"But Dad I said I was….."

"Don't interrupt me" he snaps, but then thinks better of it when he sees her grow more emotional. "I'm sorry, I don't want to snap at you, it's just…. I need you to listen to me and let me say this. And then you can speak. Okay?" He waits for her to nod before he continues. "Phoebe, you know that my mother died when I was at a young age. And you know that life was pretty bad for me around that time. I felt… I felt abandoned by her. That is such a powerful thing. She is the one person I should have been able to count on and she let me down. She gave up and she died. I was a very hurt and angry child for a very long time because of what I went through." Christian takes some time to collect himself before he continues. "When you left, I felt that same abandonment. You have the power to hurt me like that, Phoebe. It made me feel like everything I've ever done for you was for nothing. Everything I've worked for to take care of this family was nothing. That was the pain. And then there's the fear. I was so afraid that I was never going to see you again. That something bad was going to happen to you that I couldn't protect you from. And then there's the anger." Christian's voice becomes stern as he describes his anger. "I'm angry that you seem to lack any appreciation for the life that your mother and I have provided for you. I'm angry that you disobeyed us and did as you pleased without giving it a second thought. I'm angry that you haven't been eating properly and I'm angry at myself for failing to notice."

Christian stands and starts to pace. He runs his hand through his hair as he switches direction. Phoebe is silent aside from her sniffling as tears run down her face. She has pulled her legs up onto the couch and she is staring straight ahead. Christian looks down at her. He doesn't like to see her this way, but he needed to get this out. She needed to hear it.

"Phoebe I'm going to need some time. Things can't just go back to the way they were until we both heal from this." He sits down next to her and watches her nod. "Come here" he says softly. He gently pulls her toward him and holds her while more tears run down her face. She starts to shake and she brings her hand up to cover her face. He holds her head against his chest and rubs his hand up and down her arm.

Once she calms down he releases her and she sits up to dry her tears with her hands. He rubs his hand up and down her back to further calm her. "Why don't you go take a shower, put another pair of pajamas on and then come back and join me for a pajama movie day?"

Phoebe gives him a confused look. "Really?"

"Really. I think we can both use a good sick day."

Phoebe nods and manages a grin at his suggestion. Anytime the kids had to stay home from school due to illness, either Christian or Ana would stay home with them and also wear their pajamas. If the kids were well enough to be out of bed, they would sit in the main room and watch movies all day. Phoebe does as she's told and leaves the room with a sense of hope that things will get better.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

============================  
From: Anastasia Grey  
To: Christian Grey  
Time: Tuesday 11:30am PST  
Subject: PTO

Dear Christian,

I hope you are enjoying your PTO with our daughter. Seriously though, how is it going? Are you talking? Is she eating? I know we said we would talk when I get home tonight but I don't think I can wait until then. I'm worried about her and I'm worried about you. Please give me something positive to go on as I slave away at the office.

Anastasia Grey  
Worried wife and mother and CEO, Grey Publishing  
============================

Christian reads the email on his blackberry and a smile grows on his face. He makes quick work to put his wife at ease.

============================  
From: Christian Grey  
To: Anastasia Grey  
Time: Tuesday 11:35am PST  
Subject: Something Positive

Dear Ana,

At the moment everything is calm in the Grey home. I did talk to Phoebe and I did watch her finish her breakfast. Right now she is sleeping with her head on a pillow in my lap. She fell asleep while we were watching a movie. I have a feeling that she hasn't been sleeping well. Looks like we will need to go back to monitoring her sleeping habits. We are watching movies and awaiting your arrival Mrs Grey. Don't work too hard. That's not a request.

Christian Grey  
Loving husband and father and CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Christian looks down at Phoebe and lightly brushes his hand through her hair. This is the most relaxed he has seen her in a while. Right now he just wants to take care of her and help her get well. At the same time he'll need to work to get over the pain that she had caused him. Telling her about it was a good start. He can feel that. That is what is allowing him to be in the same room as her and being this close to her. She now has a better understanding of just how much she has hurt him and she was definitely remorseful about it. She starts to fuss in her sleep like she is having a nightmare. He shushes her and continues to brush his hand through her hair to get her to settle again. She does in time for him to notice that Ana has responded to his email.

============================  
From: Anastasia Grey  
To: Christian Grey  
Time: Tuesday 11:42am PST  
Subject: Calm, You?

That sounds too good to be true, but I know you wouldn't lie to me. I think I'll keep Natalie here with me for the rest of the day rather than send her home early with Collins. That way you can focus on Phoebe. I'm very proud of you. You know that don't you? If you don't believe me there are ways that I can convince you.

Have a good day, Mr Grey.

Anastasia Grey  
Pregnant and Horny CEO, Grey Publishing  
============================

Christian lightly chuckles and immediately responds.

============================  
From: Christian Grey  
To: Anastasia Grey  
Time: Tuesday 11:43am PST  
Subject: Not convinced

I will need some convincing, Mrs Grey

Christian Grey  
Insatiable CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Christian leans back on the couch with Phoebe's head still in his lap and looks at the television screen. The movie has ended and is halfway through the credits. He grabs the remote and searches for another movie to watch.


	13. Fifty Talks

Christian finishes sending Gail a text message around one in the afternoon. After he tucks his blackberry away he gently shakes Phoebe's shoulder to wake her. She had slept through another movie. She sits up and rubs her eyes hard to wake herself up.

"Sleep well?"

Phoebe nods but her eyes look very sleepy.

"You haven't been sleeping well have you?" he asks her, and she only shrugs her shoulders. "I wanted you to wake up and eat some lunch. Gail is making grilled cheese and tomato soup." This time she responds with a light grin, but Christian has a feeling that she is only doing that to appease him. "I'll go grab us some drinks. Don't go back to sleep."

Phoebe watches as he leaves the room. Once he disappears into the kitchen she lays her head back and closes her eyes. Her head hurts and closing her eyes seems to lessen the pain. When Christian comes back into the room he places the drinks on two coasters and takes his spot on the couch again. "Phoebe, does your head hurt?" he asks her after noticing her reach her hand up to hold her head.

"Yeah a little"

"I'll go get you something" he sighs. He's trying to be patient with her which is not in his character. If this were anyone else he would have chewed them out for not mentioning the head ache sooner. He returns shortly and hands her two pills and a glass of water. She takes the pills and a big gulp of the water. "Thank you" she says softly.

"You're welcome." He takes the glass from her and places it on a third coaster. "Maybe once you have some more food in you you'll feel better." Phoebe only offers another nod. "You know, I had a chance to say my piece, now it's your turn."

"Huh" she says, surprised at her father's words.

"I said, you heard what I had to say. I'm sure you have some things you'd like to say. I know I've been doing things that upset you." Phoebe breaks eye contact with him and nods again. "Phoebe, if we are going to fix things between us, we need to be able to talk to each other again. So don't be afraid. Say what's on your mind."

Phoebe has to think this over first. She shifts on the couch and brings her legs up to sit criss cross. "I'm sad that I didn't get to go to Teddy's birthday dinner" she says sheepishly.

"Okay, what else?"

"And that you threw away flowers that my boyfriend had sent to me. I didn't even know about them."

Phoebe stops talking, but Christian knows there is probably more. He tries to push her again. "Anything else?"

Phoebe nods while her eyes are on her hands in her lap. "I'm mostly upset that you stopped talking to me. It felt like you didn't care. It's like I came back but I wasn't your daughter anymore."

Christian can feel his heart sink. He regrets handling things the way he did, but he didn't see any other way. He also breaks eye contact and looks down at his hands. He has his elbows rested on his knees. "I'm not proud of the way I handled things" he says softly. "I don't want it to be that way with us. Phoebe, it was like something broke inside of me when you left."

"Can it be fixed?"

Christian keeps his elbows on his knees but looks over at his daughter. "I hope so."

Phoebe bits her lip for a moment while deciding if she should bring up her next point.

"What is it?" Christian asks her before she has a chance to look away.

"Um, I was thinking about Sawyer."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I know you fired him. But, he's the one that brought me back." Christian looks at her as though she were speaking another language. "I kind of got mad at Trevor, so when I wanted to leave I called Sawyer. He drove all the way to Los Angeles to get me even though he wasn't one of your employees anymore." Christian looks down at his hands again. He doesn't want to broach the subject of someone that he had fired. "Do you think he can work for us again?"

Christian avoids the question. He looks over at Phoebe and glares at her. "Why did you call Sawyer?"

Phoebe looks down and hesitates. The tone of his voice has changed and he is no longer calm. "He was the first person that I thought of. I knew I could count on him."

"Not me" he says regrettably and looks down at his hands again.

"I was afraid of what you would do" she says softly. "Sawyer's always had this way of calming me down when I was afraid of you."

Christian brings his hand up to his mouth and rubs at it. "You're afraid of me?"

Phoebe shrugs. "Sometimes"

Gail brings their lunch into the main room and they eat in silence. When they are finished Christian puts the bowls and plates on the table for Gail to clear away later. He sits back down on the couch and looks at the remote control. "How 'bout another movie?" Phoebe nods at him and brings her legs up onto the couch again to get comfortable. "Okay, but you can't fall asleep this time."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Teddy and Rebecca arrive back at her father's house and he helps her into her bedroom. She is exhausted from all of the tests she had to endure at the hospital. She needed them so that they could see if she can have her next and final surgery before going back east for her sophomore year of college. Teddy helps her change into pajamas and he also removes his jeans and shoes. He helps her into bed and climbs in next to her. She rests her head on his chest and he runs his fingers through her hair. They lie there in silence for a while, listening to the birds chirping outside her window.

"This is nice, just lying here with you" he says to her.

"Don't you ever get tired of it?" she asks him after another moment of silence.

Teddy is confused by his girlfriend's question. "What do you mean, Babe?"

Rebecca slowly sits up so that she can look at him. "I mean, don't you ever get tired of _this_? Having to be here and having to take care of me?"

Teddy leans up on his elbows and still looks confused. "No, I like being here with you."

Rebecca gives him a pitiful smile. "Teddy, there are so many things you can be doing right now. You could be out fishing or at the beach, playing volleyball with the guys, swimming in the ocean, or out on the golf course kicking Ryan's butt. You could be having rougher than rough sex with some girl that looks hot in a bikini, a girl that isn't crippled with a bunch of surgical scars."

Teddy drops the confused look and starts to feel angry. "What are you talking about?"

Rebecca wipes some tears away and has to look away from him for a moment. "I feel like I'm holding you back. You are young and you only live once. Are you sure you want to be spending this time with me and not someone that doesn't have to have a million surgeries and is confined to a fucking wheelchair?"

Teddy sits up all the way and takes her hand in his. He still feels angry but he keeps his voice calm. "Rebecca, have I ever given you a reason to think that?" Rebecca cautiously shakes her head and more tears start to drip down her face. She has never been much of a crier, but Teddy has become a weakness over the past couple years. "Then why are you doing this? Why are you asking me this?"

"I want you to be sure. I don't want you to look back and resent me for all of this time you are devoting to me."

Teddy uses both of his hands to raise her hand to his lips. He softly kisses the back of her hand and keeps his lips there for a few seconds. When he lowers her hand he looks into her eyes. "Rebecca, this is where I want to be. You are the person I want to be spending my time with. This is what I want. No bikini model would ever come close to meaning as much to me as you do."

Rebecca smiles as more tears run down her face. She bites her lip and breaks eye contact with him. Teddy reaches up to release her lip from her teeth. He then slowly leans in and starts to kiss her. She returns the kiss and puts her hands on his face. He reaches up and puts his hands on her face, which is still wet from her tears. She is the first to pull away. "I love you" she says softly.

"I love you too, Rebecca Lincoln. Don't ever doubt that." Teddy keeps his hands on her face and uses his thumbs to dry away some of the tears.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After dinner Ana joins Phoebe in her bedroom while Christian gets Natalie ready for bed. She sits next to her and gets her to take a break from reading the book that she currently has her nose in.

"How did it go today?" Ana asks her daughter. She has more enthusiasm in her voice than Phoebe would like at the moment.

"It went okay."

"Just okay?" Ana raises an eyebrow at her, and Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. She marks her page and puts the book aside.

"Dad said he felt abandoned by me" she says sadly.

"How did that make you feel?"

Phoebe frowns and looks up at her mother. "Awful. I never meant to hurt him like that. And now that I have, I hate myself."

Ana puts her arm around her daughter. "I don't want you to hate yourself, and your father doesn't want that for you either. But, we need you to realize just how much power you have over us."

"How does that work?" Phoebe asks, oblivious to just how much she means to her parents.

"Phoebe, we love you so much. Our love for you gives you so much power to hurt us. And we prefer you not use it."

Phoebe moves away from her mother so that she can face her. She sits with her legs criss cross. "I really didn't mean to hurt anyone. I totally get what you meant now about me being selfish. I guess I wanted what I wanted and didn't see that it would hurt you." Phoebe keeps frowning. She genuinely feels terrible for the pain she had caused for both of her parents. "Mom, I really want to fix this. But I don't know how."

"Me neither" she shrugs and smiles at her daughter. "This is isn't a quick easy fix, Honey. It's going to take time and work. We need to be able to trust you again."

Phoebe looks down. "I wouldn't blame you if you never trust me again, but I hope someday you can."

"Yeah, me too. I think you can learn from this. Whenever you have to make a decision and you are unsure, take the time to think about how your decisions and your actions affect other people." Phoebe looks at her mother and there is silence between the two for a while. Phoebe thinks about telling her mother about Trevor, but she almost hopes she will ask about him before she divulges anything. Ana looks at her and can tell that she wants to say something. She reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. "What is it?"

Phoebe bites her lip, a trait she clearly inherited from her mother. "He didn't ask me if Trevor and I…. well you know." Phoebe looks down at her hands that she is currently playing with in her lap.

Ana smirks, knowing exactly what her daughter is referring to. "Did you want him to ask?"

Phoebe looks up and glares at her. "No, of course not." She looks down again and shrugs her shoulders. "I was just surprised that he didn't that's all."

Ana takes a moment to think about asking the question. "Phoebe, did you and Trevor have sex?"

Phoebe looks up and shakes her head. "No, we didn't." Phoebe looks in her mother's eyes and can swear that she sees relief in them. She looks down again. "I mean, we almost did."

"What happened?" Phoebe struggles with telling her about this. She starts to regret bringing up the subject. "Phoebe, you can tell me. Was Trevor pressuring you?"

Phoebe looks up again. "No, not at all. In fact, he was really cool about it. He assured me that he will wait until, you know, I am ready."

"Well that's wonderful. Do you believe him?"

"Yes, I do. But I kind of got mad at him. He told his cousin about it and it made me really uncomfortable. That's why I left." Ana nods her head. She's been wondering about Phoebe's break up with Trevor and why she came home without him. And now she knows. "He's been sending me flowers, but Dad's been keeping them from me."

"What?" Ana asks, both shocked and annoyed.

"Teddy found out and he told me. Trevor has been sending me flowers daily, but I guess Dad's been getting them and throwing them away before I got to see them." Ana is speechless. She doesn't want to let on to Phoebe how angry this makes her, but Phoebe already senses it. "Don't be mad at Dad. I know it was wrong for him to do that, but what I did was much worse." Ana looks at her daughter with amazement of how gracious she is being about this. "Please don't be mad at him."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After getting Natalie changed and reading her a bedtime story, Christian tucks her into bed and leaves her to sleep, but not before making sure her Princess Belle nightlight is on. He retreats to his study where he has set up a late but quick meeting. When he walks in, his appointment is already there waiting for him. Christian takes his seat behind his desk and looks up at the man sitting in one of the chairs facing his desk. Taylor leaves them to their meeting.

"Thank you for coming so late and on such short notice. I promise to make it quick" Christian says in his CEO voice.

"You're welcome" the familiar and friendly voice says.

Christian slightly tones down his CEO persona while conducting the meeting. "First, I'd like to thank you for what you did for my daughter. Even though I fired you, you didn't hesitate to help her when she needed it."

Sawyer nods at him. He really would do anything for that girl. He's watched her grow up and he has been assigned to protect her since the day she drew her first breath.

"You've worked for me for over twenty years. During that time you've shown nothing but professionalism and loyalty. Those are two very great qualities that are difficult to find. I'm not sure if you have found other work since the time I let you go, but I'd like to offer you a position on my security team again."

Sawyer is speechless. He hasn't found other employment since being let go. Christian has always paid him a generous salary, so generous that he would never need to work again.

"Tell me what you're thinking about" Christian says, and this time he sounds more like a friend than a boss.

"Well, having the time off these past few weeks has really put things into perspective for me" Sawyer begins. "I've been able to drop my kid off at school and pick him up every day. I've been able to have dinner with him and my girlfriend and tuck my son in at night, and I wasn't able to do those things before."

Christian watches his former security guard as he appears to have an internal struggle. "Don't get me wrong. Working for you has allowed me to support them and set up a college fund for my kid. He can go anywhere he wants when the time comes. My girlfriend only works because she wants to. And your kids are like my nieces and nephew. It was an honor to protect them. I don't hold any ill feelings toward you for firing me, Mr Grey."

"You don't?"

"No, I was surprised you kept me on as long as you did."

Christian shakes his head. "Don't talk down on yourself like that. You've always been an exceptional employee. Me firing you had nothing to do with your abilities." Christian sighs out of pure tiredness. "Okay, how about this. You agree to come back, whether it's to assume your role as Phoebe's bodyguard or something else that you'd like to do while being a part of the security team, and we can work out some sort of schedule so that you can continue to tend to your family the way you have been."

Sawyer looks at him and can't believe it is Mr Grey that is sitting before him.

"What do you say?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian joins Ana in bed after brushing his teeth and changing into pajama bottoms, no shirt. She has been sitting up waiting for him. He sits next to her as she continues to look through a magazine.

"How did it go?" she asks him, not taking her eyes off of the page she is currently looking at.

Christian smiles at his wife, knowing that his answer will please her. "Luke Sawyer is back on staff. He starts tomorrow."

Ana smiles, just as he knew she would. "Good. Let's not tell Phoebe though. It can be a surprise."

Christian nods in agreement and pulls the covers over his lap. "What did you and Phoebe talk about?"

Ana looks up from her magazine and at her husband for a moment. "Now how is that any of your business?"

She goes back to reading her magazine when Christian smirks at her. "Oh, Mrs Grey. Come on we don't keep secrets from each other."

"We don't? Well, how about the one where Trevor was sending our daughter flowers and you were intercepting them and throwing them away?"

Christian looks down at his lap while Ana still has her eyes on her magazine. "Oh yeah about that"

"Phoebe told me not to be mad at you."

"She did?"

"Um hm." Ana continues to flip through pages of her magazine, knowing that it has started to irritate her husband since all of her attention is not focused on him.

"What else did she say?"

Ana still doesn't take her eyes off of the magazine. "She didn't have sex."

"What?" he asks almost too loudly, which causes Ana to look over at him.

"What? Did you think she did?"

Christian looks like the wind has been knocked out of him. _She didn't have sex_. "Yeah, I just assumed….. wait, she told you she didn't?"

"That's right"

"And you believe her?"

"Of course I do. She said she wasn't ready." Ana starts to read her magazine again, and she has an amused smile on her face for what this news is doing to her husband. The subject of sex is only uncomfortable for him when his daughter is involved.

Christian runs his hand through his hair. "Did that fucker pressure her?"

Ana looks over at him again. "No, he didn't. Phoebe said he was a gentleman about it."

"Yeah, I bet he was" Christian snorts.

Ana tosses the magazine in the air and it lands on the floor next to the bed. She kneels up and faces her husband. "Christian, are we going to sit here and discuss our daughter's sex life all night, or are we going to get back to ours?"

This catches Christian by surprise. He doesn't answer her right away. He needs a moment to process what she had just said to him. Once he is collected he answers her quietly. "It's been a while"

"Too long" she matches his tone. She leans in and starts to kiss him softly. He puts his hands on her head and deepens the kiss. Before she can react Ana is already on her back and Christian is in top of her.

"Are you sure?" he asks her.

"I'm sure that I love you, and I'm sure that we need to make up for lost time."

Christian smiles a big panty splitting smile at her and proceeds to kiss her all over. "You're on Mrs Grey"


	14. Fifty Eats

After spending one day at home Phoebe had convinced her parents to allow her to return to volunteering. They were hesitant, but they knew that Grace would be on duty during the day and they took comfort knowing that she would check in on her granddaughter.

Phoebe finishes her assignments for the morning and prepares to take her lunch break. She is at the nurse's station signing out when she is tapped on the shoulder. She turns around and is happy to see a friendly face smiling back at her.

"Teddy, what are you doing here?" she asks as she gives him a hug.

"I was in the area and thought I'd join my sister for lunch."

Phoebe pulls away and looks at him suspiciously. "You mean you came so that you could watch me eat my lunch."

"Well, can you blame me for being worried?"

Phoebe crosses her arms and frowns. "I guess not." She sees Rebecca wheel herself over to them. "Hey Rebecca"

"Hi Phoebe. Glad to see that you are feeling better."

Phoebe can't help but grin. Rebecca has always been kind to her. "Thanks. Will you be joining us too?"

"Yeah if that's okay" Teddy cuts in.

"Of course it is" she says and gives him a friendly slap on his chest.

During lunch Teddy and Rebecca discuss their plans for the fall semester and her hopes that she can have her surgery. They will find out this afternoon if she is ready to have her surgery before going back to school.

"Are you nervous?" Phoebe asks her.

"Yeah, a little. But I'm also anxious. I want out of this chair."

"But, you need to do what the doctor says and wait until your body is ready for that" Teddy says. Phoebe is shocked at how reprimanding he sounds. Very much like their father. She's never heard him use that tone before. She looks at Rebecca for a reaction but doesn't see one. Maybe Teddy is like that with her all the time. Very protective and in control like their father.

Phoebe takes a sip of her water and clears her throat. "Well, I hope it is good news."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After lunch Phoebe resumes her duties as a volunteer. She is told to go to the ninth floor and find Dr Sullivan. She finds her in one of the empty rooms.

Dr Sullivan is tall, thin and has long dark brown hair. Phoebe notices right away that she looks familiar. "Dr Sullivan? Hi I'm Phoebe Grey."

The doctor looks up from the chart in her hand and smiles warmly at her. "Hi Phoebe, nice to see you. You are right on time."

Phoebe suddenly realizes where she knows her from. "You're Sawyer's girlfriend."

"That I am" she says and smiles even bigger. "You can call me Brooke."

Phoebe smiles and then starts to feel uncomfortable. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, how is he?"

Brooke looks over at her again and offers another smile. "Luke? He's doing just fine. Why?"

Phoebe feels even more uncomfortable now that she has to explain herself. "Well, you know, my Dad fired him."

Brooke gives her a confused look. They are interrupted by an unexpected visitor. "Am I interrupting?" he asks.

Phoebe turns around and is ecstatic to see him. She rushes over and gives him a hug. "Sawyer!" He hugs her back tightly as both adults smile warmly at each other. Phoebe pulls away and notices that he is wearing black jeans and a black collared shirt. "What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like that?"

"I am on duty. Your father gave me my job back."

Phoebe is speechless. She had no idea that he was rehired. "Wh…. Really? When?"

"Last night. We had a very good meeting, and I am back on a part time basis" he explains.

Phoebe raises an eyebrow. "Part time?"

"That was my decision. Working part time for your family will allow me to spend much needed time with Brooke and Lucas."

Phoebe looks back at Brooke for her reaction, and she can see that she is happy with this arrangement. "I'm really glad you're back" she says before giving him another hug.

Sawyer releases her to give her instructions. "So I'll be here with you in the afternoons, and Dovis told me that you leave here at four thirty."

Phoebe nods and watches him walk over and kiss his girl. "I'll see you later" he says to her softly. Phoebe blushes for having to witness such a sweet moment between ta guard she's known her whole life and his girl. It's a wonder why they haven't married yet.

After he leaves the room Brooke explains her assignment to her. "I have a special project for you, but if it becomes too much I need you to be honest with me and let me know." Phoebe starts to feel nervous about what this assignment could be, but she listens as Brooke continues. "I have a patient, he's eight years old, and he was admitted to the hospital about a week ago."

"What's wrong with him?" she asks sheepishly.

"He has leukemia. Do you understand what that is?"

Phoebe gulps and starts to feel incredibly sad. "It's cancer."

"That's right" Brooke says. "He's very sick, and he's here for treatment. His parents have been here too and have been very supportive. But they can't be here every minute of every day. So every afternoon after your lunch I would like to have you spend time with him."

Phoebe nods slowly and looks off to the side. "What can I do with him?"

"You can read to him. You can just sit and talk with him. Sometimes he sleeps in the afternoon, so you can just sit and read and keep him company. Do you think you can do that?" Phoebe thinks about it for a moment. Can she do this? This is a child. It is so heartbreaking. She struggles with the idea until the doctor interrupts her thoughts. "I know it's scary to think about cancer, and to be around someone that has it, especially if you've never been around someone with cancer. But you can do a lot just by spending time with him. Have normal conversations with him."

Phoebe nods. "I want to do this."

Brooke smiles at her. "Good. I'll introduce you."

Brooke walks with Phoebe past a couple of rooms until they reach her patient's room. He is sitting up in bed and looking at a sticker book with another nurse. Brooke and Phoebe walk into the room and observe him for a few seconds before he looks up at them. "Hi Dr Brooke" he says happily.

Phoebe smiles shyly at the boy. He is pale and thin and bald, but you would never know he is sick just from hearing his voice. He has a smile on his face as Dr Brooke approaches him and sits on his bed. She allows the nurse to leave.

"Danny, I'd like you to meet someone. This is Phoebe."

"Hi" he says to her. He sees that she is wearing scrubs like a nurse would wear. "Are you a nurse?"

"No, I'm not" Phoebe says gently. "I'm a high school student. I'm volunteering at the hospital for the summer."

"Phoebe will be spending time with you until your parents return. Will that be okay?" Dr Brooke asks him.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Sure"

Dr Brooke gives him a brief exam and them leaves the two to get to know each other. Phoebe sits in the chair next to the bed, but he taps his hand in front of him, indicating that he wants her to sit on the bed. She sits on the bed and he shows her the sticker book that he's been working on. Phoebe looks at the book with him, which includes stickers of many characters such as Ninja Turtles, SpongeBob and Spiderman.

After bonding over his sticker book Phoebe starts to feel at ease with him. She is able to forget the fact that this kid is fighting such a terrifying disease. After adding more stickers to one of the pages he starts to get tired. He tells Phoebe that he'd like to take a nap. She helps him get comfortable and before she knows it he is out. She sits in the chair and watches him sleep for a few minutes. A few tears escape her eyes at the sight of this beautiful child. She catches herself and quickly wipes her tears away. She had just met this kid, but he has already made an impact on her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Ana are sitting together in the main room with the television on. It is rare for them to find time to just sit together after dinner and relax. They are talking quietly, and are interrupted when Natalie walks over to them.

"Here's your coffee Daddy" she says as she hands him a plastic blue cup and saucer.

Christian leans up and smiles down at her. "Thank you Sweet Pea." He pretends to drink the coffee and fake coughs. "How much sugar did you put in this?"

"A lot" she giggles.

"A lot?" he teases back. He grabs her and starts to tickle her. Ana watches and laughs at them. After he stops tickling her he puts her in his lap. She lays her head against his chest and he cuddles her. "It's getting late, I should get her ready for bed" he says to Ana. "Give Mommy a kiss goodnight."

Natalie is passed over to Ana and she gives her a hug and kiss. "Goodnight Mommy"

"Goodnight Sweetheart" she says back. She watches with a smile on her face as her husband carries their daughter out of the room. Once they are out of sight she looks down at her pregnancy bump and gently rubs her hand over it. Now that things are starting to calm down she can allow herself to feel excited about another baby coming into their lives.

Shortly after they leave, Phoebe arrives home and sits next to her mother. She is still dressed in her dance clothes, which include pink tights, light blue leg warmers and a sweater over her light blue leotard dress. Her hair is neatly tied back into a bun.

"How was your day?" her mother asks her.

Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. "It was okay. Some of the girls were making fun of me for passing out."

"I'm sorry Baby. I'm sure that will pass once they have something else to talk about."

They sit and flip through channels to find something to watch. Phoebe stops at a rerun of Law and Order SVU which had just started a few minutes ago. "Is Teddy home?" Phoebe asks randomly.

"No, he had dinner with Rebecca and her father. He should be home soon."

They continue to watch the show and are joined by Christian. Before he is able to sit down Phoebe stands and hugs him without warning. She takes him by surprise, but eventually he returns the hug. "What was that for?" he asks when they pull apart.

Phoebe grins and shrugs her shoulders. She still feels slightly awkward around her father. "For giving Sawyer his job back."

Phoebe sits on the couch again next to her mother. Christian sits on the separate love seat.

"Mrs Taylor made Pasta Bolognese for dinner. She packed some away for you to take for lunch tomorrow" he explains to Phoebe. He knows that is one of Phoebe's favorites, and it is another ploy to get her to eat her lunch since he won't be there to ensure it. Today he felt at ease since he knew Teddy would be there with her. Phoebe simply smiles and watches the show with her parents in silence. When the commercial comes on she looks up at her father.

"Did you tell Teddy to have lunch with me?"

Christian looks at Ana. She raises an eyebrow at him, indicating that he shouldn't try to lie about this. "Teddy mentioned he was at the hospital today. I simply suggested it and he thought it was a great idea to have lunch with you."

Phoebe kind of knew this already, but she can't blame him for being worried. She did wind up in the hospital after all. "I promise I'll eat. I don't want to pass out again. And I don't want to make you worry."

Christian sighs. "We're always going to worry about you Phoebe. But it helps to hear you say you'll eat."

Teddy walks in and immediately has his family's attention. He looks tired. Each of them asks how the appointment went with Rebecca's doctor. He sits down on the coffee table in front of them, and they mistake his fatigue for bad news. They sit back and frown, waiting for him to speak. He rubs his forehead roughly and then looks up at them.

"It went well. It's good news actually. She can have the surgery."

The family is excited for him, but confused about his tone in delivering the news. "That's good, right?" Phoebe asks.

"Yeah Phoebe it's good. We were just so anxious and so nervous about this. We weren't expecting to get the go ahead." Teddy leans back and sighs. "Yes this is definitely good news."

Ana leans forward and puts her hand on his knee. "That's great Teddy. We're very happy for you and Rebecca."

"When's the surgery?" Christian asks.

"They have it scheduled for next week." Teddy rubs his eyes again out of tiredness.

"Why don't you turn in Honey? You look exhausted." Teddy looks over at his mother and smiles at her. She will never stop being a Mom to him no matter how old he gets.

"Sounds like a good idea. Good night."

After he leaves Phoebe takes the remote and rewinds the DVR so that they can watch the scenes of the show that they missed while talking to Teddy. After watching a few scenes she looks between her parents and realizes that they probably would like some time alone, and she is preventing it. She feigns being tired and says good night.

After she leaves Christian takes her spot on the couch and wraps his arm around his wife. She rests her head on his chest and wraps her arm around him. "I think we should turn in too Mr Grey" she says seductively.

Christian smiles and uses the remote to power down their entertainment system. "What's on the menu tonight Mrs Grey?"

Ana doesn't take too long to answer him, but she lets out a moan before she puts in her order. "How about some Strawberries and Cool Whip?"

"Hmmm, one of my favorites. Strawberries, and Cool Whip, and Ana."

He sends his wife off to their room while he gathers their late night snack. When he joins his wife he sees that she has changed into one of his favorite night gowns. He stands in the doorway and takes a moment to enjoy the view. He uses his foot to close the door and effortless locks it with his elbow. He dumps the edible items onto the bed and immediately takes her into a kiss. Their arms wrap around each other and they immediately give into each other. Christian lifts her and lays her down on the bed. He takes a moment to look down at her and then immediately lowers himself onto her, kissing her face, her neck and her chest. Before she knows it he is inside of her, first gliding gently in and out of her. She only has to beg him once to go faster, as he immediately complies with her wishes. She meets him thrust for thrust until they both come together. As they catch their breaths they both laugh about needing each other so much that they just bypassed the dessert.


	15. Fifty Therapy

Christian is sitting in one of the sofa seats in front of his therapist's desk. He has been silent for the first few minutes of the appointment. His elbows are connected to his knees and his hands are folded in front of him. He is staring down at his hands as his thoughts of self-hate run through his mind. "I'm a terrible father" he says softly. He realizes that he's always felt that way about himself, despite the fact that he has had three children with his wife and another one is on the way.

"Why do you say that Christian" John asks him with a soft voice matching his patient's.

Christian looks up slightly but his eyes do not meet John's. "Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. Perhaps too much. I'm just not convinced that I am what they need."

"You've always felt this way." John observes.

"Yes"

"Why?"

Christian starts to feel frustrated. John already knows the answer to this, but the whole point of therapy is to verbalize what he is feeling. Even after seeing the same therapist for nearly thirty years he is expected to say the words even if John has heard them before. "I'm fucked up John. That's never going to change."

"What's happened recently to bring you to the conclusion that you are a terrible father?"

Christian runs his hand through his hair as a frown forms on his face. He flashes back to an incident from the other night.

"_Christian, I think I'm going to sit this one out" Ana says as they discuss the upcoming Nurse's Ball._

"_You're not going?" he asks her with much confusion._

"_No, I think I'm going to stay home."_

_Christian gets annoyed and stops massaging her feet. "Ana, I am the biggest contributor to this year's fundraiser. I have to be there and make a speech."_

"_I know, but you don't need me there with you. Why don't you take Phoebe? You know she'd probably enjoy that."_

_Christian whines. "Ana, no, I don't want to take Phoebe. I want to take my hot and sexy wife. You know I hate going to these things and I will only have a good time if you are there with me. Please don't do this to me."_

_Christian found out later that Phoebe heard their conversation and it hurt her feelings. Although Christian never intended for that to happen, it did._

He then flashes back to a time when Teddy was little. Christian came home to find that an antique that he and Ana had purchased in France was broken beyond repair. Teddy was six years old and old enough to know right from wrong. Christian gave him a few chances to explain what had happened, but Teddy insisted that he didn't do it. Christian thought he was lying, so he punished him and put him to bed early.

"_Daddy, it wasn't me" he cries as he lies in his bed under his covers._

_Christian turns around and glares down at him. "Theodore, I will spank you again if you continue to lie to me. You need to go to sleep now, and tomorrow morning we will discuss this again. Understand?" Teddy just covers his face with his hands and cries. Christian lets out a frustrated sigh. "Answer me Theodore."_

"_Yes" he whimpers. _

_Christian leaves his son's room and finds his wife downstairs. She had just arrived home from shopping with Kate. "What's wrong?" she asks him when she sees him._

"_You know that antique statue we bought from France a few years ago?"_

_Ana nods and looks at him nervously. She bites her lip. "Yeah, about that…"_

"_What?"_

"_Christian I'm sorry. I know you liked it….."_

"_Ana I already know that Teddy broke it."_

"_No he didn't" Ana changes her tone and shakes her head._

"_What?"_

"_I broke it. I was rushing to leave so that I could meet Kate and I bumped into it. I gathered the pieces and put them on the table over there thinking we could probably glue it back together."_

_Christian's face falls. His son was telling the truth and he didn't believe him. And what's worse, he punished him for no reason. He grabs his head with both of his hands and throws his head back slightly. "I feel like such a shit."_

Christian grabs his head with both of his hands as he has a flashback from a few weeks ago. While he was in a foul mood over Phoebe's actions, he punished Natalie for disobeying him.

_"Natalie, you know the rules. Are you allowed to come upstairs by yourself?" Natalie shakes her head. "Use your words" he demands._

_"No" she answers him softly._

_"But you came upstairs by yourself anyway, didn't you?"_

_"Yes" she answers again and starts to cry lightly. She doesn't like when her father talks to her this way. She knows she's in trouble._

_"And then when I told you to come to me you didn't. I need you to do what you're told, understand?"_

_"Yes"_

_Christian sighs and wipes some tears from her face. "Natalie I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I love you very much, but I need to punish you for disobeying me." With that, he lifts her off of his lap so that she is standing in front of him, and he swats her bottom three times. Natalie cries after he does it, which makes him feel very guilty._

Christian runs his hands roughly through his hair and sighs. He has tears in his eyes, which John picks up on immediately.

"Why the tears, Christian? What were you thinking about just now?"

Christian roughly wipes his tears and lets out a sigh. "I was thinking about just a few of the many times that I did my kids wrong." Christian clears his throat of the lump that was trying to escape. "They were just kids, they are still just kids. I've lost my temper so many times, delivered punishments that they probably didn't deserve, subjected them to the dark shades that will always be a part of me."

John casually leans back in his chair and regards the emotional and lost man that could never let go of the darkness that has haunted him his entire life.

"They deserve better than that John."

"Do you think your kids deserve a father that loves them? A father that will care for and protect them at all costs? A father that would lay his life on the line for them?"

"Of course"

John lightly smiles at his patient. "And you don't see yourself in that scenario?"

Christian rubs his hands roughly over his face and then slaps them down on his knees. "Of course I love them, of course I would protect them no matter what, and of course I would die for them. Thanks to Ana I'm able to hug them and allow them to hug me. Sometimes I'm able to find it in me to show them patience and love. But they shouldn't have to have the dark side of me too. It hurts them, John."

"Taking yourself out of the equation would hurt them more, don't you think?" Christian ponders this for a moment. _Would my kids be better off if I wasn't there for them?_ John sees that his patient is unsure and offers some of the good things that Christian seems to be forgetting. "You protect them. You make sure they eat and sleep and shower and brush their teeth. You make sure they get a great education. You comfort them when they are sad and you celebrate their happiness. You teach them about life and you teach them to do the right thing."

Christian still seems unsure. John leans forward and continues. "You worry for them, and you care about them. Otherwise there would be no yelling or punishment. The light and the dark have to balance each other out."

Christian finally looks up at his therapist. "What if it's too dark?"

Flynn offers a light smile. "You love your kids Christian. You need to stop being afraid of doing the wrong thing. It's going to happen sometimes because you are human."

Christian looks disappointed. He does not like to be told that he is human and humans make mistakes. That seems so weak to him. He shakes his head and breaks eye contact.

"Let's talk about Phoebe" John changes the subject. "Last we spoke you were having a hard time communicating with her."

"We did talk" Christian mumbles.

"And?"

Christian brings his head up and around before he answers. "And I told her how I felt."

"What did you say to her?"

Christian glares at his therapist for a moment. He hates going into detail but he knows he has no choice. "I told her I felt abandoned."

"Do you think she understood that?"

"Yes, I know she did."

"How?"

"I compared her leaving for the road trip to my mother dying on me. And she was quite upset" Christian says dryly.

"Did you tell her why you were avoiding her?"

Christian looks up at the edge of John's desk and then looks down. "No"

"Why not?"

Christian sighs as he remembers what he said to John during a previous session.

_"Flynn, you know how I get when people defy me." _

_"You want to punish her" Flynn offers._

_"I want to belt her" Christian shoots back. "I want her to feel pain for what she has put me through. And I know if I face her now I won't be able to stop myself from hurting her like that."_

Christian rubs his forehead roughly with his fingers as though a monster headache were coming on. "She said she's afraid of me." He repositions himself in the chair and pouts. "I want my kids to follow the rules, have good manners, and a good education. I know discipline is necessary when they fall out of line. I want them to fear punishment, but I don't want them to fear me. All this time, my daughter has been afraid of me. I am such an idiot for not noticing."

"Your relationship with Phoebe is going to take some time to heal. How is your relationship with your other children? Let's start with Teddy."

Christian rubs his hands together as he answers. "Teddy's home from school. He's been busy taking care of his girlfriend. I'm very proud of him. Hell I'm proud of all of my kids." Christian manages to smile as he thinks of his kids' accomplishments. "Teddy and I talk business mostly. He tries to talk to me about Phoebe. He's been stepping up and being there for her while I couldn't be."

"How does that make you feel?"

Christian shrugs his shoulders. "Pretty damn lousy. But I'm glad she has him as a brother."

"How about Natalie? How is your relationship with her?"

Christian smiles brightly at the thought of his little baby girl. "She's still so young. She doesn't hold grudges yet. Lucky for me. She tries to get me to play with her and she likes to be silly. She reminds me of Phoebe at that age, always able to get me to do things I never imagined myself doing."

"So she takes to you, despite any mistakes you have made" John says, trying to make a point.

"She doesn't know any better."

John shakes his head. "You need to give her more credit than that. Kids don't take to someone just because they don't know any better. Natalie takes to you because she feels the love that you give her. If she didn't feel comfortable with you she would cry every time you try to pick her up."

Christian doesn't let on but he knows that John is right about that. Mia's kids don't take to him at all when they visit.

"Phoebe knows that you love her too. She rebels against it because that's what teenagers do. She's at a confusing age where it's time to figure out who she is, and she's going to feel the need to find things out about the world on her own instead of just being told things. Although you don't find it ideal, it is certainly not out of the ordinary."

"It's not safe" Christian growls.

"No, it's not safe. There's only so much we can do to protect our children. We can talk until we are blue in the face about the bad things that can happen. But seeing is believing."

"I don't want Phoebe to see what can happen to her out there." Christian says as he runs his finger along the arm of the chair. "I know she's a teenager, but she is just so fragile, John. She's not like other teenagers. I know her and I know what she can and can't handle. It's because of her that I've tried so fucking hard to be patient. You know that's not in my nature."

"It's not in your nature" he agrees. "But you've been doing it, for Phoebe. You need to stop and take a look at what you've been doing for Ana and your kids. It's incredible, Christian. But you fail to see it."

"See what?"

John lightly smiles. "You are what's good for them. You may have your temper but you also have the softer side of you that they see and love."

"Soft?" he asks, sounding annoyed and offended.

"Deny it all you want, but it's there. Most likely anytime they are in your presence."

Christian crosses his leg over and roughly rubs his chin. "I am not soft."

Flynn chuckles at him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Later in the afternoon Christian arrives at the hospital and looks in on Phoebe. She is sitting with Danny and reading a book with him. He listens in for a few minutes and a warm smile grows on his face. Phoebe is laughing. He hasn't heard that sound in a really long time. Soon the smile fades and is replaced by sadness and a single tear threatens to reveal itself in the corner of his eye. He wipes it away before it falls. _Maybe I have become soft_.

He steps into the doorway and waits for Phoebe to acknowledge him. When she does she is surprised to see him.

"Dad"

He shakes his head. "Don't let me interrupt."

She shuts the book and stands from the bed. "What are you doing here?" She walks over to him so that she is closer and could speak softer if necessary.

"I was in the neighborhood. Taylor left me off so that I can ride with you to the dance studio."

Phoebe grins awkwardly and lowers her voice. "Well, I'm kind of not ready to leave yet. I've been staying until four thirty when a nurse can sit with Danny."

They both look over at the child in the hospital bed and he waves at them. Phoebe bites her lip and looks back at her father.

"Why don't you introduce me?" he asks her and smiles.

Phoebe nods and walks over to Danny's bed. Christian follows. "Danny, this is my father, Christian Grey. Dad, this is Danny."

"Nice to meet you" the boy says politely. Christian extends his hand to the boy and he gives it a good shake. "You as well."

Once Phoebe is finished with her day of volunteering she gathers her things and walks out with her father. Sawyer pulls the car around the entrance and Christian opens the back door for Phoebe. She climbs in and he climbs in after her. Once they are settled and buckled up Sawyer pulls the car away from the hospital and into traffic. There is silence in the car for a while. Phoebe is looking out her window. Christian glances at her a few times as he decides on what he should say.

"So, how long have you known Danny?" he starts.

Phoebe has had a frown on her face, which sticks with her as she glances at her father. "I met him last week."

Christian can feel his heart sink as he looks at the pain in her eyes. "What is it?" he asks her.

Phoebe works hard to control her emotions. She's spent the past week sitting with Danny in the afternoon and becoming a good friend to him. She hasn't been able to really talk about the reason he is in the hospital. She looks in front of her and not at her father. "He has leukemia" she says sadly. Christian instinctively reaches over and takes her hand in his. She looks down at their hands, and for a moment he's afraid she is going to pull away. But she doesn't. She keeps talking. "He has to stay in the hospital for treatment. He throws up a lot and they had to shave his head since his hair was falling out." She reaches up with her other hand and wipes some tears away that have escaped. "The treatment makes him sick and weak, but he has such a big personality. You would never know how sick he is when you're talking to him."

Christian squeezes her hand as she brings the other one to her face to dry more tears.

"It's not fair" she says after sniffling.

"No it's not" Christian says. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief. He hands it to her and she accepts it. After some more silence Christian decides to bring up the Nurse's Ball.

"Have you thought more about the Nurse's Ball?" Phoebe freezes for a moment and then lightly sighs. After she overheard her parents' conversation, he tried to apologize and he tried to ask her to accompany him, but she turned him down. He asked her to think about it, but he hasn't brought it up again until now. "I'd really like for you to go with me" he adds.

Phoebe shakes her head. "You don't have to. I know you'd rather take Mom" she says sadly.

Christian shakes his head. "I shouldn't have said what I said Phoebe. I didn't even mean it that way. Of course I want you to come with me. It's just that I'm used to attending those things with your mother."

Phoebe only responds by shaking her head.

"Tell you what. You come with me to the Ball, we'll stay until after I have to make a speech, and if you aren't having a good time we can leave. We'll leave and we'll do something else with our Friday evening. Whatever you want." Phoebe looks over at him and the look in her eyes gives him hope. "Come on, do we have a deal?"

Phoebe thinks about it for a moment. The words she heard him say the other night did sting, but she's hurt him more than she could ever imagine hurting anyone when she went on the road trip. With that guilt continuing to eat away at her, she gives in. "Okay. I'll go." She watches as a smile grows on his face.

"Good" he says. His blackberry pings and he looks at it. Someone has sent him an email. "I'm sorry, I have to take this."

As he tends to his email, Phoebe looks at her phone. She has been going back and forth about sending Trevor a text. Each time she thought about hitting send, she chickened out. This time a wave of courage passes through her and she opens the drafted message from a few days ago. Before reading it again she presses the send button.

_**I'm sorry I haven't answered you. I'd like to see you if that's okay.**_

She holds her phone in her lap, not expecting an answer right away. She is surprised when one comes not thirty seconds later. She feels her phone buzz in her hand.

_**It is more than okay. How about this weekend? I'll come to your house.**_

Phoebe smiles and starts to feel butterflies in her stomach. She is going to see him. She almost forgets to respond.

_**Okay. See you Saturday**_

When they arrive at the dance studio, Christian walks in with her.

"You know, you don't have to come in with me. Sawyer or Dovis usually just wait in the car" she tells him.

Christian shrugs his shoulders. "I won't stay. I owe a tuition check."

Phoebe nods and offers a light smile. Once they reach the floor where the dance studio is she proceeds to the changing room while Christian meets up with Ms Alana in the office. They shake hands. 'Nice to see you again Mr Grey."

"How is my daughter doing?" he asks her after he hands her the check. Alana takes it and files it away.

"She's doing great. Except there was this one thing that Ms Jenna brought to my attention" she says with concern in her voice, which worries Christian.

"What is it?"

Ms Alana changes her tone when she sees how worried he is. "Oh it's nothing bad. Ms Jenna approached Phoebe and the other girls about starting pointe lessons. We believe she is ready for that."

Christian smiles. "So what's the problem?"

"She turned it down."

Christian is confused as to why Phoebe would turn it down. He starts to pace in the office. "Did she say why?"

"All she said was she didn't have pointe shoes."

Christian frowns. He walks over to the window where he can see into the studio, which is a level lower than the office, where Phoebe and the other girls are preparing to start class. She is trying on one of the girls' pointe shoes. He smiles when he sees that she is enjoying herself. He watches as she stands and grabs onto the barre for balance. She and some of the girls laugh as she tries a few things on pointe. He continues to watch and Ms Alana walks over to peak down at the girls as well.

"Ms Alana, please sign my daughter up for pointe lessons. I'll make sure she has the shoes" he says to her without taking his eyes off the window. "And please, let's keep it between us."

"Sure Mr Grey" she says as she walks over to her desk for the paperwork. Christian sighs and continues to watch his daughter through the window. After a few minutes one of Phoebe's friends notices him and points him out to her. Phoebe looks up at her father and he immediately signals that he is leaving. He turns and leaves before he can see her get angry, but she doesn't get angry. In fact, she starts to feel good about him being there, even if it was just for a short amount of time. Ms Jenna appears and announces that it is time to start class.


	16. Fifty Primp

Phoebe's POV

I can't believe the day just flew by. I had a lot of chores that doctors assigned to me today, but Grandma insisted that I sit with Teddy while Rebecca had her surgery. I didn't want to completely blow off my responsibilities as a volunteer, so I made sure to spend some time with Teddy and took a few breaks to take care of some of those chores. Rebecca's surgery took about four hours. Poor Teddy, I'm sure those were some of the longest hours for him since all he could do is wait for doctors to finish and come and talk to him and Mr Lincoln. Fortunately it was great news that was delivered. Her surgery was a success and she'll be spending a few days in the hospital.

Right now I am in Danny's room. We've spent some time reading one of his books, but he got tired really fast. He didn't want to go to sleep since I was here, but I insisted that he needed to sleep if he wanted to get better. I wish there was more I could do to help this kid. He is so sweet and pretty smart for his age. I didn't know half the stuff he knows when I was seven. His mother told me that he reads a lot and that is why he knows so much. It makes me sad that a kid like him is sick and has to stay in the hospital.

I brought a book with me to read, but I haven't gotten past the first sentence. I am having a hard time concentrating. I can't stop thinking about this kid and what he is going through. How he manages to keep such high spirits, I'll never know. And then there's my father. I've hurt him so much. I never meant to do that. When I left for the road trip I didn't realize how selfish I was being. I just wanted to experience being on my own for a while and experience just being a normal teenager, and not Christian Grey's daughter. Not that there's anything wrong with being his daughter, I just wanted to be away from the money and the name and see what it was like.

My father has been on me all week about going to the Nurse's Ball with him tonight, but I can't figure out why it is so important to him. I overheard him tell my mother that he didn't want to take me. I can't blame him. I wouldn't want to take me either. So why this one eighty? I don't understand. Does he feel guilty that I overheard his conversation? He shouldn't feel guilty. I deserved to hear him say that after what I did to him. I deserve a lot worse than that. I told him that he didn't need to take me, but Christian Grey does not take no for an answer. I look at the clock and see that it is three thirty, and then I see my Dad in the doorway. I put my book down and walk over to him as not to wake Danny.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper to him.

He looks at his watch. "You have a Ball to get ready for, so Nurse Kelly here is going to sit with Danny until his parents return."

He lightly smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back. Did I mention he doesn't take no for an answer? I guess I'm going to the Ball. I collect my things and leave the room as Nurse Kelly takes my place in the chair. I look back at Danny before I completely leave the room. I feel guilty leaving him, especially since I won't see him until Monday. Dad puts his hand on my shoulder as we walk down the hall, take the elevator and exit the hospital. We meet up with Taylor outside. He opens the back door and I climb in. I have to slide over since Dad wants to sit in the back next to me.

I watch out the window and notice that we are not driving in the direction of our home. "Where are we going?"

I look over at my father and he lightly smiles again, but his eyes are on his blackberry. "We still have a few hours, so I thought you and your mother could spend some time together at the spa." I can feel my eyes widen. He looks at me and his smile quickly fades. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head and try to control my facial expression. "Nothing"

"Don't tell me nothing, answer me. What's wrong?" he asks me again. His voice is soft, not as stern as it usually is when he tries to press me for information. I start to pout, but then I think better of it. He doesn't like it when I pout. I hear him sigh. "Phoebe, tell me."

I shrug my shoulders and look at the seat in front of me. I can't look at him, but I know he is looking at me and waiting for me to answer him. "I'm supposed to be grounded" I say softly. "Doesn't feel right, going to the spa and then going to the Ball with you."

I hear dad laugh softly. I glance over at him and his eyes are no longer on me, and he has a smile on his face. He is looking at his blackberry again. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

The rest of the car ride is silent. When we arrive, Dad opens the door and takes my hand to help me climb out. We walk inside and Mom is there waiting for us. She walks over and gives me a hug. When she releases me she proceeds to hug my father. He leans down and kisses her cheek. I smile since I love to see them be affectionate with each other, as long as it isn't overkill.

A lady walks over to us with a big fake smile. It's as though it is glued onto her face. She addresses my mother and then leads us both away from my father. I see him nod before I am whisked away into one of the rooms where there are a few women getting pedicures. My mother and I sit next to each other in the comfy chairs and are instructed to remove our shoes. My mother is wearing a skirt, but I am still wearing my scrubs so I need to roll up my pants. I slowly lower my feet into the foot spa and it feels so good. I instantly feel relaxed with the hot water and the leather chair, which is slowly massaging my back. I close my eyes and welcome the sensation. I vaguely hear the voice of Adele singing her heart out through the speakers in the ceiling.

I open my eyes and look over at my mother when I feel her grasp my hand. She smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back. She should be mad at me too, but I don't see that when I look in her eyes. Instead I see so much love, and right now she is glowing. Must be the pregnancy. It puts me at ease and I am able to close my eyes again and relax as the nail tech starts on my right foot.

After we are finished with pedicures and manicures, my mother and I prepare to leave the spa. This was the first time I received a gel manicure. I am still amazed that I can just go about the rest of my day without having to worry about chipping or nicking my nail polish. The nail tech had to laugh at the shock in my face when she sprayed my nails and then wiped each nail with a towel. The nail polish didn't smudge or come off. My mother still looks amused by it. We walk outside and Collins is there waiting for us with the car. After we climb into the back seat and buckle up, my mother explains that Aunt Kate is waiting at the house for us. She'll be doing my hair. I start to feel guilty again. My parents are doing these nice things for me, things I do not deserve. I don't understand why. I have a hard time hiding my discomfort from my mother as she grasps my chin and forces me to look over at her.

"You okay Sweetheart?" she asks me, and it's all I can do not to cry. I manage to suppress it and shrug it off.

"Yeah, it's just….." I look down at my nails and rub my fingers over the polish again, still amazed that it isn't smudging. "Pedicure, manicure, Aunt Kate doing my hair, just seems like so much."

I glance at my mother again and she is smiling. "You're going to a Ball. There's nothing wrong with going all out and dolling yourself up." She reaches over and strokes my hair as she says it.

"I know. I just wasn't expecting it."

My mother nods and she keeps her smile. "I know. You never do. That's what makes it even more special. You are a lot like me, you know? When your father and I were first going together, I had a hard time getting used to his wealthy lifestyle. I never went to the spa and I never got my hair done. I never purchased an expensive dress for a party until I married him."

"How did you handle it?" I ask her. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be part of my father's wealthy lifestyle just because I'm his daughter. It never occurred to me that my mother felt that way about herself too.

"It was difficult. It took me a really long time to feel comfortable with the wealth. Your father had to keep reminding me that it was 'our' money and he often sent me out shopping with your Aunts just to spend his money on something."

I have to laugh at that. I can just picture my father getting all worked up and ordering my mother to spend money. I can hear my mother laugh too, although I'm not sure if she's laughing about this or something else.

When we arrive home I follow my mother into the house. Dad is in the main room playing on the floor with Natalie and Aunt Kate is sitting on the couch watching them and my baby cousin Cameron. He is walking around with blocks in each hand. My mother and I stop in the doorway and refrain from making our presence known. We stand there for a few minutes and enjoy watching Dad play with princesses with Natalie. He's helping her place each princess in separate rooms in the four foot high castle. They have Ariel taking a nap in the bedroom, Snow White cooking in the kitchen and Jasmine taking a bath in the bathroom. "What about Belle?" he asks her. Natalie takes Belle from him and tries to set her up in one of the rooms with her Beast doll. She tries to set them up so that they are dancing, but the dolls keep falling over. When she gets frustrated Dad is able to calm her down and help her stand them up without falling. She cheers and claps her hands with excitement. I just love seeing this side of my Dad. I vaguely remember moments like this that I had with Dad when I was little. That's right, Christian Grey had sat on the floor, played with dolls and had tea parties with me. I have the pictures to prove it, but they are for our family's eyes only.

When Dad sees us he stands and walks over to us. Aunt Kate also walks over to us and gives Mom a hug. Mom then picks Cameron up and makes a big fuss over him. I watch Natalie rush over to Dad and wrap herself around his leg. I can tell she is jealous. Poor baby, if she's this jealous of Cameron I can't imagine how she'll be when the baby comes. Dad reaches down and picks her up. She protectively wraps her arms around his neck, and I can tell he looks uncomfortable with her tight grip. He gets her to loosen the grip and continues to hold her.

"How was the spa?" he asks us. Mom explains my reaction to the gel manicure and they all have a laugh at my expense. I can feel a blush come across my face. I don't like it when people laugh at me even if it is harmless teasing. Aunt Kate puts her hand on my shoulder and leads me out of the room and up to my bedroom. She immediately gets to work on my hair. I have to wonder why she isn't getting herself ready for the Ball. I thought she and Uncle Elliot were going as well.

"Aunt Kate, are you going to the Ball too?"

I can feel her smiling as she runs the come through my hair to smooth it as she prepares to tie it back. "No Honey, I won't be going."

"Oh." I feel a pang of guilt for asking. I hope I didn't make her feel bad.

She immediately relieves me of my guilt by explaining herself. "Since your Dad is taking you to the Ball, we thought it would be fun if your Uncle Elliot took Ava."

"Ava's going?" I can't hide my excitement. I haven't spent much time with Ava since school ended. First I had the road trip, and now I'm busy with volunteering. And she's busy with her boyfriend Nathan.

"That I am" I hear Ava's voice. I turn my head and see her standing in the door way. She is already dressed in a mint green long dress that hugs her curves, and her hair is down in wavy curls. I stand and give her a hug, forgetting that Aunt Kate was trying to do my hair.

"You look so beautiful" I say to her.

She releases me and looks me up and down. "Good thing Mom and I are here. You are way behind schedule Grey. Hair, make-up, dress. Let's go!"

I have to laugh at her as she pushes me in the chair and takes charge. I've missed my cousin. I'm so glad she's going tonight. I'm glad to be going with my Dad, but I still feel awkward around him, especially since he is doing all of these nice things for me today. Things I feel I don't deserve. I don't think I can talk to Ava about this. She would just tell me I'm being ridiculous and that I should just get over it. But I know I'll feel less awkward with her there.

Once hair and make-up are done I quickly get my dress and shoes on and proceed to walk down the stairs. Ava and Aunt Kate walk down after me. I am greeted by my father and Uncle Elliot is standing right behind him. My Dad smiles brightly at me. He's seen me in this dress before, but nobody else has. I am wearing the silver dress that I was wearing the night of Teddy's birthday dinner. My Dad requested that I wear this dress. He said I looked beautiful in it. I certainly didn't feel beautiful that night, but tonight is a different story. I am not being met with his unreadable expression. Instead I am being met with his smile that is so contagious I can't help but smile back. I reach the bottom of the steps and he takes my hand. "You look beautiful" he says softly.

"Thank you" I say to him and then turn to see Uncle Elliot kiss Ava's cheek.

My father has me face him again. "This is for you."

I feel the smile leave my face and it is replaced by more shock. "You got me a present?"

He continues to smile at me and looks down at the box that he had put in my hands. "Open it."

I slowly open the small box and I can feel the smile return to my face. "A corsage?" He takes the lovely arrangement of pink roses and baby's breath and puts it around my wrist. I don't know what to say, but I manage to find my manners. "Thank you" I say almost breathlessly.

"You're welcome" he says and then turns his attention to Elliot and Ava. "Ava this one is yours" he says and hands Elliot another small box. Ava opens it and Elliot puts the equally beautiful corsage around her wrist.

I then notice that all eyes are on us. Mom, Natalie, Aunt Kate and Cameron are standing around with smiles on their faces as they watch us prepare to leave. This feels as awkward as the Junior Prom. I'm hoping they don't start breaking out their cameras and take pictures. I am relieved when Dad suggests that we leave. "Shall we?" He takes my arm and tucks it inside of his as the four of us walk out of the house together. Taylor and Gail are waiting by the car and are also dressed formally. A few minutes later we are packed into the car and on our way to the Ball.


	17. Fifty Ball

When they arrive at the Ball, they see that they will need to walk a long distance of about fifty yards before they can enter the building. Christian cringes as he sees the amount of reporters and flashing cameras snapping away at the guests that are arriving for the benefit. Doctors and nurses that are employed at hospitals in the northwest are in attendance, as well as high profile and upper class citizens that have made contributions to make this Ball possible.

"Taylor, any chance there is a back entrance?" he asks his head of security.

"I'm afraid not, Sir."

Christian grimaces and then turns to look at his daughter and niece. "Okay, we're going to have to walk through that media trap. You are to walk with the two of us, don't stop to talk to anyone, don't answer any questions, just walk and smile. Do you think you can handle that?"

Phoebe and Ava just nod. They both could do well without the media attention, and they were taught from an early age how to behave whenever they are out in public and around reporters and paparazzi. Christian always feels the need to remind his kids anytime they need to go somewhere. Taylor and Gail leave them off and will park the car in a nearby parking garage. Christian and Elliot both climb out of the car sporting their expensive tuxedos and take their daughters' hands. Christian and Phoebe walk through the crowd arm in arm, followed by Elliot and Ava. Ava is just walking next to her father and clutching her purse with both hands, not holding his hand or his arm. Phoebe notices and finds it odd. Christian nudges her when he notices that she is looking behind them and she immediately turns her head toward the direction they are walking in. She smiles lightly at the crowd and politely waves a few times.

After they make their way into the building they follow the other patrons into the Ballroom. Phoebe's face lights up, her eyes and mouth both wide as she takes in the sight of the room. Big expensive chandeliers with beautiful crystal beads light up the room, tables with dark red table cloths, chairs with big red cushions, a stage with speakers, drums, guitars, a keyboard and microphones, a sizable dance floor in front of the stage, and the centerpieces on each table are huge expensive vases with beautiful displays of lilies.

Christian looks down at Phoebe and smiles. Her arm is still linked with his. "Nice, isn't it?"

"It's so beautiful" she says in awe. She continues to look around as Christian leads her through the Ballroom. They are greeted by many people that know Christian. One of the guests is another contributor to the benefit, Mr Brookes. He shakes hands with Christian and then his eyes light up when he sees Phoebe.

"Well, I can see why the press is always saying your wife is youthful. You, my dear, could pass for eighteen."

Christian is not amused, but he does his best to hide his scowl. He smiles as he puts his hand on the small of Phoebe's back and sets the record straight. "My wife is quite beautiful. She couldn't make it tonight. Mr Brookes, this is my daughter Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr Brookes."

"A pleasure" Mr Brookes says as he goes to shake her hand. Phoebe offers her hand but only allows his hand to make contact with her fingers. "Maybe you can save me a dance later."

Phoebe pulls her hand away in shock and discomfort. She is able to hide it in her face when she feels her father wrap his arm protectively around her waist. "I don't think so. Excuse us" he says as he leads Phoebe away. Elliot and Ava follow them to the table with the place cards. Christian looks down at Phoebe and notices that she is tense. "You okay?" he asks her. Phoebe nods quickly, which causes him more concern. "You're lying, what's wrong?"

He puts his hand on her back again which helps her relax. "That guy was creepy" she says softly so only he could hear. "I don't want to dance with him."

"You don't have to. That man was inappropriate" he says as his voice grows more stern, but he keeps it low so only she could hear. "If he or anyone else gives you a problem, you are to let me know about it."

Phoebe nods again and he leaves go of her to look through the place cards. He finds his and Elliot's. "We're at table ten with Mom and Dad" he tells him. They find their table and the men pull out chairs for their daughters to sit. "Phoebe, what would you like to drink?"

"Water please" she says.

Elliot looks at Ava. "Coke please" she says when their eyes meet.

Elliot doesn't look pleased, and Phoebe picks up on it. "Water it is" he says coldly and walks away with his brother.

Phoebe shivers and then looks at her cousin. "What's up with you and your Dad?"

"He's mad at me for having sex with Nathan" Ava says quietly only for her cousin to hear.

Phoebe's eyes grow wide and she leans into the table. "You had sex? Wh… when?"

Ava looks at Phoebe as though she doesn't understand the question, and then she glares at her. "Don't look at me like that Grey, it's not like you didn't have sex with your boyfriend."

Phoebe keeps her mouth open but her eyes find the table as she backs away slightly. "Actually, I didn't."

"No way" Ava says. "You went on a road trip for weeks and you didn't have sex?"

Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. "Well, we tried" she says sheepishly. "But I chickened out."

Ava leans in and all of a sudden her reporter hat is on. "Whoa, no way. Tell me everything that happened, and don't leave anything out."

"Well, we were alone, and we started kissing, and then we started taking off each other's clothes…."

"Yeah, yeah and then what happened?"

Phoebe smiles and keeps her eyes on the table. She starts to play with the hem of the table cover. "It felt really good, him kissing me and stuff, but then I got really scared and I stopped him."

"Oh" Ava says. "What did he say when you stopped him."

"He was really cool about it. He got that I wasn't ready and said he would wait."

"He said he would wait?" Ava asks with shock.

"Yeah" Phoebe says and loses the smile as she sits up straight in her chair. "So, your Dad is mad at you for having sex?" she asks hoping to change the subject.

"Yeah, that, and….. he's mad that I got drunk with Nathan and his friends on rum and coke."

Phoebe gasps. "You got drunk? Ava!"

Ava crosses her arms. "Oh please, not you too"

Phoebe sighs. "I'm sorry, I just can't believe you were drinking. No wonder your Dad was so cold just now. But, why are you mad at him?" Phoebe asks with confusion.

Ava rolls her eyes and sighs. "After I sobered up he paddled me. He's never done that before and…. it really hurt and just made me so angry."

Phoebe looks at her cousin as she grows weepy and wishes she could do or say something to help her, but the words don't come to her. She feels like she is the last person that should be giving advice on the subject.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Elliot are walking toward the bar when Christian starts to question him. "That was some glare you gave your daughter just now" he says smugly.

"I learn from the best, little bro."

"So what gives, did you finally realize that your princess is not so perfect?"

"Fuck off!" Elliot snaps, which causes some people to look in their direction.

Christian realizes that something must have happened to make his brother so angry with his niece, so he puts his hands up in an effort to calm him and takes a different approach. Elliot turns and starts to walk toward the bar again. "I apologize, that was out of line. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Elliot stops walking and turns to face his brother again. Christian starts to see a side of him that he's never seen. He seems haunted and scared. "She's growing up too fast" he says softly and pained.

Christian can't help but smile. He knows that all too well. "They all do."

"She's still a kid. She shouldn't be out there having sex and drinking."

This takes Christian by surprise. He hasn't seen his brother since Teddy's birthday dinner, and even that night he was caught up in his own shit to notice that there was tension within his brother's family. He directs his brother to sit down at one of the tables. He sits in the chair next to him. "When did this start?"

"A few weeks ago, we found out she was having sex. Kate didn't think we should make a big deal since she was being safe about it, but I didn't agree. So Kate and I have been at odds about that. Then last week I had to pick her up, she was wasted. She'd been drinking with Nathan and his friends, his friend's parents came home and made everybody call their parents."

Christian sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, I had no idea. What did you do?"

Elliot grows upset and has to work hard to control his emotions. He rubs the back of his neck, just like Christian does when he is stressed. "There was a lot of yelling when we got home, some swearing, I told her to watch her language but it only got worse. I know we both said things we didn't mean, but it still hurt. Kate had to intervene and told us to sleep it off. And then the next morning I tried to talk to her again, but I wound up paddling her." Elliot looks down, feeling shame for how he had handled things. He rubs his face with both of his hands and continues to struggle with his emotions. He feels Christians hand on his shoulder. "You've always said that Kate and I were too soft when it came to discipline. Maybe if we weren't, this wouldn't have happened."

"Yes, it would have" Christian says. "Look at what happened with my daughter, she went on a fucking road trip. I never thought she would do something like that. And I was always hard on her when it came to discipline."

"I'm so fucking angry with her, Christian" Elliot says as he tightens his fists in rage. "But no matter how angry I am I shouldn't have paddled her. I've never done that and I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life."

"That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Christian leans back in his chair and crosses his arms as he regards his brother. Elliot looks up and glares at him. "I'm just saying, Ava did something you didn't approve of, you punished her, she didn't like it, and I'd be worried if she did. Maybe she'll think twice before she drinks underage again."

"I don't know how to fix things with her, Christian. I'm angry with her and she's angry with me. Kate had this crazy idea that coming to this Ball together would fix things. But look. Does that look like the face of a girl that is having a good time?"

They both look in the direction of their daughters sitting at their table. They are talking and Ava is frowning.

Christian looks back at his distraught brother. "One night at a Ball is not going to fix things. You and I both know that. You both need time, just like Phoebe and I."

"You and Phoebe seem fine" Elliot says passively.

"Yeah well, looks can be deceiving" Christian shoots back. "I'm still angry with her but I'm trying to work through that, for her. So I don't lose her."

"You think I'm going to lose Ava?" Elliot asks with his voice cracking.

"If you don't work this out, then yeah. You just might."

Elliot nods and looks down again. Christian stands and pats his back. "Come, we need to get our girls drinks."

They arrive at the bar area to order drinks and run into their parents. They are also joined by Sawyer and Brooke. Both doctors rave to Christian about how helpful Phoebe has been as a volunteer, and how she is always on time and never complains.

"That reminds me, why is my daughter tending to a cancer patient?" he asks. He didn't actually think this through, so his tone is harsh and extremely insensitive.

Grace is the first to respond after they all exchange looks. "Christian, she's a volunteer. Sometimes we have volunteers sit with the younger patients to allow time for their parents to take a break."

This does nothing to placate Christian. "I don't want my daughter getting close to this kid."

"Mr Grey, if I may" Brooke jumps in. "Phoebe's has been so wonderful with Danny. She takes his mind off of the cancer just by spending those few hours with him."

"What if…. What if he dies? Okay, I don't mean to sound harsh, but I need to look out for my daughter. She is super sensitive, and if he dies it would break her."

Grace and Brooke look at each other as if they are deciding something. Grace moves closer to Christian. "The point is to keep him alive, and Brooke is doing everything she can to ensure that that happens."

Christian rubs the back of his neck. "And if it doesn't?"

"I think we should let Phoebe decide."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Elliot join the girls at the table again with their drinks in hand. They are also joined by Carrick, Grace, Taylor, Gail, Sawyer and Brooke. At this point everyone has started taking their seats and the waiters and waitresses have started taking their dinner orders. They are served their salads and the conversations are light as people start to eat. Elliot makes a few trips the bar and is on his fifth beer when the entrees are served, and that doesn't go unnoticed by Christian.

Christian had decided on a steak entrée while Phoebe chose the salmon. Christian starts to cut a few pieces of his and eats a few before he looks over at Phoebe. She has cut up a few pieces of her salmon but she is taking her time with eating. He brings his napkin to his lips as he finishes chewing, and then reaches for Phoebe's fork. "May I?" he asks her. Phoebe looks worried, like she's done something wrong. _Why would he want my fork other than to cut my food for me or feed me?_ She cautiously nods and he lightly smiles. She watches him use her fork and her knife to cut a piece of his steak. "Here, I want you to try this." Phoebe cautiously takes her fork back and looks at the piece of steak. "Don't think about it, just try it."

Phoebe does as she's told and eats the piece of steak. She chews it slowly and nods with approval. She likes it. She continues to chew and offers a smile. "You like it?"

Phoebe swallows and continues to nod. "Yes, it's delicious."

"Good" he says and smiles back. He takes her fork again and cuts a chunk of his steak for her. He puts it on her plate and puts her fork back in her hand. "May I have some of your salmon?" Phoebe nods and watches him take a chunk of her salmon. She starts to work on cutting pieces of the steak and salmon and enjoys the variety of good food on her plate along with the vegetables. Elliot leaves during the meal for another beer. Phoebe looks at her cousin and feels sad for her. She notices that she is picking at her salmon, which is unusual for Ava. When Elliot returns he is ungraceful about the way he sits, almost missing his chair, which also doesn't go unnoticed by Christian. He looks over at his brother with a disapproving glare, but Elliot ignores him and proceeds to eat more of his dinner.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

Dad and I shared our dinner. That was unexpected since he's never done that with me. I have to wonder if he did it so that he could have both steak and salmon, or if he wanted me to try steak since I never have, or if he did it to make me smile. Because it did make me smile. My Dad is so unpredictable. You never know what he's going to do or say. You never know if he's going to be happy or mad about something, or if he's going to yell or talk calmly. It's infuriating sometimes. He's full of surprises, and most of the time they are good ones. He looks at me and catches me smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" he asks me as he returns the smile.

I shrug my shoulders. "I liked my dinner" I say to him. Because it's true. I did like it, and I know that will please him.

"Good"

After the dinner, a few of the patrons are called to the stage to make a speech. Dad goes first and waits for the long applause to stop. He begins his speech by thanking everyone that came out for the benefit and encourages them to dance, buy tickets for the auction and to drink, but not drive. He continues by saying that everyone either has or knows somebody that has been affected by cancer, and the proceeds from the benefit will go toward cancer research. I'm sure he's right. Until recently I didn't know somebody touched by cancer, but now I do. Danny. I wonder if my parents know someone that has or had cancer. I continue to listen and smile at the sound of my father's voice giving a speech. He is so cool and confident up there on that stage. I suppose he has to be since he's the CEO of his own company. I just never got to experience that until now. When he finishes he hands the microphone to another person on stage and the crowd applauds.

I clap my hands and then look over at Ava. She is clapping too but she is frowning. Where is Uncle Elliot? I didn't even notice him leave the table. My father joins us at the table again and doesn't look pleased when he looks over at Uncle Elliot's seat. He rests his arm on the back of my chair and turns his attention to the stage. I feel the need to ask Dad if he knows someone that had cancer.

"Dad?" I whisper and he leans his head closer. "Do you know someone with cancer?"

Dad slowly leans away and looks at my grandparents. I think they heard my question. I start to feel embarrassed. I see my grandmother nod at my father. "Yes, I do. And so do you. Your grandmother is a breast cancer survivor."

I am shocked. I look over at Grandma and she nods again. "Grandma?"

"It's true. I was diagnosed fifteen years ago and battled it for three years."

I want to cry, but I don't. I shake my head and then I feel Dad's hand on my back. "It's okay, she's not sick anymore" he says to me softly.

"That's right" Grandpa says. "Your grandmother is one tough cookie. She fought the battle and she won."

"How?" I ask her. My voice is cracking. I must not cry, I must not cry.

"I had surgery and chemotherapy. And I had your grandfather. He took excellent care of me."

I start to calm down when I see my grandparents smile at each other and hold hands. Uncle Elliot returns to the table with another beer. How many of those has he had? I don't think I've ever seen him or Dad drink that much.

"Elliot, why don't you slow down now" Grandpa says to him with authority. I look over at my Uncle for his reaction and watch him throw back his beer. Dad and Grandpa look angry.

I don't want to be around for this, and I think Ava can use a break from this too. "Ava and I are going to use the restroom" I announce and stand up. My father also stands. Oh no, he's going to insist on escorting us. I didn't think of that. I'm grateful when I see Brooke and Sawyer stand.

"I'll come with you" she says, and my father accepts that Sawyer will escort us.

* * *

Thanks for reading. The next chapter will feature more of the Ball. I apologize for not updating more often. I've been working a lot which takes a lot out of me. I plan on writing many more chapters for this story. Happy Reading!


	18. Fifty Beers

Christian's POV

I'm glad the girls have excused themselves from the table. My brother is drinking himself into a drunken idiot. It'll only be a matter of time before he starts slurring his words and acting like a fucking fool. My father and I are sitting with our arms crossed and we're both glaring at him, but it doesn't faze him. I know he is having a hard time with Kate and Ava, but we can't go soft on him now. That's the last thing he needs.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Elliot!" I scold him.

He holds up a half empty bottle of Coors as if he's about to make a toast. He says nothing. Instead he nods his head and proceeds to further his drunken state. I stop him by grabbing the beer out of his hand and pulling it away. I don't care that some of it has spilled out. I am fuming. And now he is too. "Christian? Fuck!"

"You are done" I say as I slam the beer bottle down on the table. I'm fortunate that there is enough noise in the room now that the speeches are over and the sound of classical music is blaring through the speakers. "No more drinking Elliot. Time to sober up."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do" he says, and his words are already slurring. He leans back in his chair and pouts like a child. I look over at my father and he is still sitting with his arms crossed. He lets out a long sigh, like he is counting in his head, which he did very often when we misbehaved as kids. I've said my piece, and now I want to check on the girls. I excuse myself and move my napkin from my lap to the table as I stand. I fix Elliot with one last glare before I walk away, leaving my parents to deal with him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I wash my hands and wait for Ava to come out of the stall. Brooke is already waiting outside with Sawyer. When Ava emerges she looks down as she walks to the vanity and washes up. I'm worried about her. I've never seen her like this. She is all dressed up and absolutely gorgeous in her mint green dress, but she is so down. She dries her hands and then makes eye contact with me, but she doesn't smile. "Think my Dad had enough to drink?"

It was a rhetorical question, but I feel the need to say something anyway. "Does he do this often?"

"No, I mean he drinks, but not that much. My Mom would kill him if she saw him like this." There is silence for a few minutes while we fix our makeup. After she applies lipstick her mood changes and she seems agitated. She roughly puts her makeup back into her purse and struggles to shut it. I try to help her but she waves me away, so I back off. "He is such a hypocrite" she snaps harshly. "He makes a big deal about me drinking, and here he is throwing back a dozen in one sitting."

"Ava, you are underage. It's not the same." Whoa. I don't know where that brave moment came from. I never stand up to Ava, but something in me just snapped. I'm upset with her for drinking too. She looks at me and I can tell she is shocked. The moment fades and she goes back to being snappy.

"I still say he's a hypocrite." She walks past me and I follow her out of the restroom. Sawyer and Brooke are both there and they ask us to accompany them to the bar for more drinks. I'm assuming it is to keep us away from the table for a little while longer. I take Ava's arm and pull her in the direction of the bar, and surprisingly she doesn't object.

When we arrive at the bar area, Sawyer inches his way in and orders himself and Brooke some wine and said he would bring some more water back for Ava and me. It is crowded since the speeches have ended. I try to move so I am not in the way, and I clumsily bump into someone that is standing behind me. I instantly feel embarrassed as I turn around to excuse myself, and I am shocked to see who it is that I've bumped into.

He smiles at me, but for some reason I can't adjust my facial expression to match his. What is wrong with me? I am speechless. "Hi Phoebe" he says to me. I am finally able to relax my face and smile back, although it's a shy smile. It's been weeks since I've seen him. He looks so handsome in his tuxedo. This is the second time I've seen him in one. The first time was our Junior Prom. I struggle to speak, he does that to me. This guy has practically seen me naked already and I can't seem to get it together. I try to say "hello" back to him, but words fail me and a nervous sigh just leaves my mouth. He takes my hand and I instantly feel it. The electricity between us is still there. I feel tingly all over at his unexpected touch. It makes me gasp, and he immediately leaves go of my hand and fixes me with a confused look. "Are you okay?"

I nod and smile lightly. "Yes, I'm sorry, I'm just surprised to see you here." There, I finally said something. Maybe there's hope for me yet.

"My father had to go out of town on business, so I'm here as my mother's date. My brother's here too."

"Travis?" I ask, but then immediately feel stupid. Of course, Travis. Both of his parents and his older brother are doctors so it makes sense for them to be here.

"I came with my Dad, my Mom decided to sit this one out." I explain to him.

He nods at me. "Cool. So, do you think your father would mind if I steal you for a dance?"

A dance? He wants to dance with me. I can't help the frown that is forming on my face. He takes my hand again and I gasp. He puts his other hand under my chin and forces me to look at him. "What's wrong?"

I shrug my shoulders and shake my head after he leaves go of my chin. "It's just…. we have some things to talk about." I can't seem to play it cool around him. I've been nervous about seeing him tomorrow, but Dad has kept me so busy with this Ball and getting ready for it, I have managed to push it out of my mind for a while, until now that is. I certainly didn't expect to see him here tonight.

He leaves go of my hand and puts his hands in his pockets. "Yes, we do need to talk. But we can do that tomorrow. Right now, we are in this big extravagant Ballroom, I'm wearing my tux, you are looking absolutely stunning in this dress…" He puts his hands on me again and I just melt. "… let's just enjoy tonight, and then we can talk tomorrow, about anything you want."

I can't say no to him when his hands are on me. In fact I have trouble saying anything at the moment. I look over at Ava for approval since I should really be staying by her side right now. She nods her head toward the dance floor, not only giving me permission but insisting that I go. I look up at Trevor and nod, and then I'm awarded with his adorable smile. He takes my hand and leads me away to the dance floor.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I don't see the girls or Luke at the restrooms, so I decide to look for them at the bar area. I see them huddled around one of the small bar tables, but Phoebe isn't with them. I push through the patrons to get to them and am pleased that my presence alone interrupts their conversation. I don't even have to say anything to get their attention. That never gets old.

"Where's Phoebe?" I ask them forcefully.

Luke points his glass of wine in the general direction of the dance floor. "She's dancing with Trevor. Don't worry, Jason and Gail are dancing too and keeping an eye on them."

Luke seems so relaxed as he drinks his wine with his girlfriend. He's one of my employees, has been for quite some time. I consider him a friend, like Jason. I don't get to see any of my employees enjoy themselves since they are on the job when they are in my presence. But tonight is an exception. Luke is not on the job tonight, although I am certain that he would step up and protect my family should the need arise. I look at Ava and can tell that she isn't enjoying herself. I have an idea, but I also want Phoebe to be a part of this. I take Ava's hand and have her walk with me to collect Phoebe.

We find Phoebe and Trevor dancing near Jason and Gail. They are smiling and enjoying themselves, but there will be more dancing as the night is still young. I convince Phoebe to take a break from dancing and lead the girls over to the long tables of baskets that patrons have donated for the Chinese auction. They both smile as they see some things that they like. It's a joy to see as I purchase some tickets for them and split them in half. I explain to them what a Chinese auction is and give them the tickets to gamble on the ones that they like. There are baskets of make-up kits and baskets of perfume and bath stuff. They choose them along with some baskets of hot chocolate and cappuccino mixes with big fancy mugs. There are a few baskets of movie themed items such as popcorn and candy. Some have movie tickets and some have DVDs of recent Oscar nominated movies. I of course like the baskets that contain assortments of cheeses, wine and expensive wine glasses. I decide to gamble on a few as well.

When the girls are finished they both thank me with a hug. I wasn't expecting that from either of them, but it definitely warms my heart. I enjoy making them happy. I lead them back to the table to have dessert. I am surprised to find that our table is empty. My parents and Elliot are nowhere in sight. I pull two chairs out for the girls to sit and I take a seat next to Phoebe. A waitress comes by and serves a glass of wine to me and chocolate cake for the girls to share. They prefer it that way. The piece is huge and I don't think they will even finish it between the two of them. There is silence as they enjoy their dessert and we listen to the music that is playing.

I am waiting for the announcement to come. My mother told me earlier today that they have asked an extremely popular band to play at this event, and at first they had to decline due to a conflict. The committee that put this Ball together found out this morning that they were able to work it out. And they were to appear on stage at nine o'clock sharp. I look at my watch and it is eight fifty nine. I smile as I see them take the stage. I see Pat Monahan take the microphone and he immediately greets the crowd. I look at the girls and they aren't paying attention. They must not recognize his voice. When the music starts and he starts singing, it immediately gets the girls' attention. They perk up and look at the stage in shock. I can't help but laugh at their reactions to their favorite band playing live just yards away from them.

"Train!" Phoebe shouts and looks over at me. She is so excited, and so is Ava. I will never tire of seeing these girls happy. They immediately stand and abandon their half-eaten piece of cake. I stand and follow them as they rush to the dance floor to be closer to the stage. Others have also gathered to enjoy the show. Most of them are women of course. They start dancing and singing with the band.

"_Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair you know. Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do, tonight. Heeey heeeey heeeey_"

After the song is over, the crowd cheers and the girls jump up and down. They are so excited. It's definitely a delight to see. I feel myself beaming, even though I had nothing to do with the source of their current happiness. I make a mental note to check to see if Train will be in concert any time soon. I'd like to take them. They'd love it. Before I know it, the band starts to sing another song. I think this one is called _Drive By_. I look over and see Luke standing behind Brooke with his arm wrapped around her waist. I can tell he is very much in love with her, and she with him. I have to wonder why they've never married. They share a child, and now that we have agreed to lighten his schedule, he gets to go home to her and their son every night. Although it is none of my business, I make a mental note to ask him about it anyway.

After the music has stopped, the patrons are told to find their seats so that they could start pulling tickets for the auction. We return to the table to find that my parents and brother have yet to return. Where could they be? Luke, Brooke, Jason and Gail join us at the table as well. The girls are still giddy as they pick at their cake again. Train is still here and they are calling out the numbers for the auction and handing out the baskets to the winners. I really do hope one or both girls win a basket, just so they could go up to the stage to great the band. That would definitely make their night.

After a few more numbers are called, Pat starts to call the ticket winner for one of the many baskets that have hot chocolate and cappuccino. Phoebe looks at her ticket and I can tell that he has called her number. She is jumping up and down in her seat, and Ava is also excited for. I tell the girls to both go up to the stage to accept the basket, and they happily oblige. I see Jason stand and casually walk in the general direction of the stage to keep an eye on them. I am truly grateful to have such a loyal security team.

When they return they are still bouncy and giddy. I listen as Phoebe tells Ava that they will break open the items in the basket and share the next time they have a sleepover. I look around to see if I spot my brother and my parents, and they are still nowhere in sight. "Where's my Dad?" Ava finally asks.

"I don't know" I answer her, and I watch as she looks around for him. I can tell that she's worried about him. I am so angry with Elliot for doing this to her. I know that Kate had suggested that he and Ava attend this Ball together, spend time together and hopefully work out their issues. Instead, he is making things worse. I sip some more wine and look over at Phoebe. We are slowly working through our issues. We are not there yet, but at least we can handle spending time together. I can handle being nice to her and making sure she has a good time.

After the auction, we decide to hit the dance floor again. Phoebe meets up with Trevor and dances with him again. I'm surprised but happy that she's dancing with him. I know they were having some problems, but I haven't discussed any of that with Phoebe. I had agreed to allow him to come to the house tomorrow so that they could spend time together.

I convince Ava to dance with me. I have to show her where her hands should go and what her feet should be doing in a proper waltz. Nobody's ever taught her. After a few minutes she gets the hang of it and starts to relax. I look around us and see Jason dancing with Gail and Luke dancing with Brooke. I immediately think of Ana. I've enjoyed the time I've spent with Phoebe and Ava tonight, but I miss my wife. I miss holding her and teasing her while we dance. I miss sneaking off with her to do naughty things to her. She assured me that she will make it up to me, and I do plan to collect.

During the next song my parents join us and so does Elliot. He appears to be struggling as he walks over to us and roughly taps me on the shoulder. "Bro, let me cut in" he says. He wants to dance with Ava. I look down at her for a reaction. She looks unsure. I look at my brother and he looks pained. I decide to step aside so that he can dance with Ava. When he takes my place he is anything but graceful, and Ava looks embarrassed.

"Dad, are you okay?" I hear her ask him. He stumbles and I move quickly to catch him before he falls on his ass. Ava looks horrified. I decide that it's time for us all to leave. Taylor and Gail walk ahead of us to get the car, while Dad helps me with Elliot. We each walk on one side of him to prevent him from falling, while Mom and the girls walk ahead of us. We say goodbye to Luke and Brooke. Luke offers to help, but I turn him down and demand that he enjoy the rest of his evening.

Things are quiet once we are settled in the car. Elliot and I each have the window seats in the back of the car while the girls are sitting between us. Elliot is passed out. I notice Phoebe trying to rest her head against the back of the seat and struggling to get comfortable. "Tired?" I ask her softly, and she nods in response. I guide her head over to rest on my arm and am pleased that she doesn't fight me on it. I notice Ava slowly moving and resting her head on Elliot's arm, being careful not to wake him. She keeps her eyes open and stares ahead as we drive toward Escala. I pull out my blackberry and send a quick text to Kate.

_**Phoebe and Ava are having a sleepover tonight. Pack a bag for her. Be there in 15**_

Next I send a text to Ana.

_**The girls are having a sleepover. Have Penny put fresh sheets on Phoebe's bed and make sure there're enough fresh towels in her bathroom**_

As I finish the text to Ana I get an immediate response from Kate. It makes me scowl.

_**Tonight's not a good night. Maybe some other time**_

I immediately respond to my difficult sister-in-law.

_**Trust me, it is a good night. Pack the bag**_

I put my blackberry away and watch out my window as we drive through the city. I miss living in the city, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I love my wife and kids. I love where we live. I love taking care of and providing for my family and my security team that keeps us safe. When Ana and I decided that we didn't need Escala anymore, I gave it to Kate and Elliot. I wanted to keep it in the family, minus the playroom of course. I cleaned everything out and had that room painted before they moved in.

When we arrive in the parking garage, I move Phoebe's head to the back of her seat and climb out of the car. I open Elliot's door and pull him out with Taylor's help. I instruct Ava to stay in the car and lock the door. I then have one of Elliot's security guards watch the car while Taylor and I practically carry Elliot to the lift. When we arrive in their suite, my angry sister-in-law immediately fixes me with a scowl. She is in her nightgown and robe and she has her arms crossed. She is tapping her foot, but that stops when she sees Elliot.

"What the hell happened?" she asks as she puts her hands on Elliot's face. I try to get her to move out the way so Taylor and I can help Elliot to their bedroom.

"He's drunk, Kate. We need to put him to bed."

After we get Elliot settled, Taylor and I leave and climb back into the car with the girls. Ava looks so confused, and rightfully so.

"Ava, you are staying with us tonight. Your mother has packed a bag for you." I hand over the bag and put my seatbelt on. I instruct her to do the same before we pull away.

Once at home we slowly walk into the house and Ana greets us in the foyer. She is a sight for sore and tired eyes in her sexy nightgown. I put my hands on her hips and greet her with a kiss. "Hi" I say to her before I fix her with a big smile.

"Hi" she says back and also fixes me with a smile of her own. She looks over at the girls. They are so tired. "Why don't you girls get washed up and ready for bed? I'll come up soon and say goodnight."

They do as their told and slowly climb the steps to the second floor. I lean down and wrap my arms around my wife and bury my face in her hair.

"What happened?" she asks me.

"Elliot got drunk" I answer her softly. I don't pull away from her. I need to hold her, like she is my life line. I am pleased when she doesn't let go of me. We just stand in the foyer for a few minutes and hold each other. After a while she is the first to pull away, but we keep our arms around each other. "He got really drunk. I didn't want Ava to be around that, so I brought her back here."

"Kate can't be too happy about that."

"Kate was pissed" I snort. "She can deal with him tonight, we'll deal with him tomorrow." I reach down and kiss my wife's lips. "Let's have them over for lunch tomorrow. Sort this out."

My wife nods in agreement. She then takes my hand and we climb the steps together. My favorite time of day. Time for bed.


	19. Fifty Next Morning

Christian wakes with a jolt and immediately grabs his blackberry. Leaning up on his elbow he runs his other hand through his hair as he reads a text from one of his security guards. He looks over at Ana and is pleased that she hasn't been disturbed. She is sleeping soundly. He climbs out of bed, drags on pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and sleepily walks out of the room.

After briefly checking on Natalie, he walks down the steps and through the back doors that lead to the spacious land that is their backyard. With two blankets in hand he walks over to the two lounge chairs and drapes one of the blankets over Ava. This startles her, but she keeps still as he covers her up. She had been curled up on the lounge chair shivering. It is August, but it is chilly this early in the morning. Ava tucks her hands underneath the blanket and holds it up to her chin, thankful for the warmth that it brings.

Christian settles on the lounge chair next to hers and covers himself with the other blanket. He lies back and looks up at the stars in silence for what seems like an eternity, while Ava remains curled up on her side facing him.

"Thank you for letting me stay here" Ava says softly.

Christian lightly smiles and closes his eyes. "You are welcome to stay here anytime you need to, as long as your parents know about it."

"I didn't ask them."

Christian shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. Your control freak of an Uncle took care of it."

Ava knows she is being mocked, since she knows Christian overheard her talking to Phoebe and calling him a control freak. That happened a few years ago, but he still throws it back at her anytime he has the opportunity.

There is some more silence between the two. They can hear the peaceful sounds of the waves crashing.

"How did you know I was out here?" she asks in a tired voice.

Christian picks his head up slightly to look at her, but she doesn't look back. He rests his head back and looks up at the sky. "My security alerted me of the silent alarm that went off. That happens when someone opens one of the doors from the inside." His voice is soft, not at all reprimanding.

"Are you mad that I came out here?"

This takes Christian by surprise. Ava has always been the strongest of the Grey kids, but right now she appears weak. He answers her quickly. "No, I'm not mad." He inhales and exhales lightly and tries to change the subject. "Do you know any of the constellations?"

Ava lets out a yawn before answering. "My Dad does, he tried to teach me." There is another pause before she speaks again. "I'm a horrible daughter."

Christian frowns and looks over at her again. "Why, because you don't remember the constellations?"

Ava lightly chuckles as a tear leaves her eye. "No." She releases one of her hands from underneath the blanket to wipe the tear away. "Because I let him down."

"Why would you say that?" Christian challenges her.

"Because, I can't be what he wants me to be anymore."

"Which is?" he asks.

"I can't be his little girl anymore" she says sadly.

Christian shakes his head and sighs. "I've got news for you. You are always going to be his little girl." He looks over at her again but she isn't looking at him. "No matter how old you get, that's how he's going to view you."

"I guess that's how you view Phoebe" she observes, and Christian nods in agreement.

"Yes I do. It's hard for us, Avalon. We don't want you girls to grow up so fast. I'm having a hard time with that, and so is my dear brother."

Ava shakes her head and grows upset. "I know that people think I'm a brat. And they're right. But I really hate fighting with my parents."

Ava starts to cry, which also takes Christian by surprise. He reaches over and pulls her toward him so that her head is on his shoulder. "Shhhh, listen to me." She tries to pull away from him but he doesn't let her. "Don't pull away from me" he says softly. She's taken aback by his soft tone with her. She stops pulling away and allows him to comfort her. He starts to grip and rub his hand through her hair. "Your Aunt Ana and I invited your parents for lunch tomorrow" he explains, still using his soft tone. "We're going to sit down and sort this all out. But right now you're tired and you need to sleep." He continues to gently rub his hand through her hair as she nods. "Close your eyes." She obeys, and before he knows it she is fast asleep.

Christian stays awake for a little while longer and looks up at the stars. He too can remember Elliot teaching him about the constellations. He was very passionate about it when they were teenagers. But just like Ava, he doesn't remember them as well as Elliot. He is then brought back to the present and a frown starts to form on his face. His brother really messed up tonight by getting drunk. Elliot will probably chew him out for keeping his daughter for the night, but he doesn't care. Seeing Ava like this, he knows he made the right decision by keeping her away.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A few hours later, Ana is awake and wanders through the house in her nightgown and robe. She finds her husband and niece sleeping on the lounge chairs in their backyard. A smile grows on her face as she gently sits on the edge of Christian's chair. She gently puts her hand on top of his, which is resting on his chest. Ava's head is still on his shoulder and some of her hair is hanging over her face. Christian feels his wife's presence and slowly opens his eyes. He smiles when he sees her.

"Good Morning" he says softly, being careful not to wake Ava.

"Good Morning yourself." He lifts his hand from his chest so that he can play with Ana's hand. "How long have you been out here?" she asks quietly.

"I came out here around four. How'd you find us?"

Ana smiles and continues to play with Christian's hand. "You know Ava. Anytime she's upset and needs a time out she likes to be outside. It's the only thing that calms her."

Christian nods, knowing that Ana is right. Ever since his niece was a baby she had to be taken outside anytime she needed a breather. Elliot and Kate would take turns being with her out in their backyard or out on the balcony at Escala, or outside of a restaurant anytime Ava put up a fuss or threw a tantrum. He looks in his wife's eyes and can tell she is remembering something. "What are you thinking about?"

"That time I found you out here with Ava, when she was a baby." Ana smiles at the memory. Elliot and Kate had left Ava with them when she was two years old so they could vacation in Mexico for a few days. Ana was surprised to find Ava sleeping on Christian's chest in their backyard since Ava didn't take to Christian. She would cry anytime Christian tried to pick her up. But that early morning was an exception.

Christian also smiles at the memory as he stroke's Ava's hair and pushes it off of her face. It frustrated him that he could so easily tend to his own children, but his niece was a challenge. "She had severe diaper rash" he recalls. "I knew she needed to be changed but she wouldn't let me do it. And I didn't want to wake you or Gail."

"You were great with her" Ana says lovingly. To that, Christian shakes his head. To this day he still doubts himself and his ability to be everything he needs to be for his family.

"She didn't make it easy. She wouldn't stop crying, but as soon as I brought her out here it's like someone had flipped a switch. As soon as the cool hair hit her face she stopped crying and agreed to let me change her."

Ana laughs and then covers her mouth, worried that she will wake Ava. "That security guard we had at the time, what was his name?"

"Oliver"

"Oliver, yes" Ana laughs again. "You had him fetch the stuff for Ava to change her out here, and he practically brought the entire nursery out here with him." They both laugh at Oliver's expense. "Baby stuff just made him so nervous."

Ava starts to stir which halts their laughter. Christian continues to rub his hand through her hair as she wakes up. "Good morning" Ana says to her warmly.

Ava looks confused. She slowly sits up and Christian sits up with her. He brings his knees up and rests his arms on them. They watch Ava rub the sleep out of her eyes and look around the spacious backyard. The sun had already come up and it is warm. She looks sad, remorseful and lost. They are not used to seeing Ava this way.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep out here" she says softly.

Christian shakes his head and brushes it off. "Don't worry about it. How'd you sleep?"

Ava slowly nods her head. "Good." She offers a light smile.

Ana smiles back at her and reaches over to put her hand on top of hers. "Good. Penny had put some fresh towels in Phoebe's bathroom. Why don't you go have a shower and then join us for breakfast? I'll make French Toast."

Ava smiles and nods. "My favorite." Ana smiles back and wraps her arms around Christian's shoulders. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

"You're welcome Sweetie." Ava stands and starts to fold her blanket. "Leave it, we'll get it" Ana tells her, but Ava insists on tidying up after herself. She folds it neatly and carries it into the house.

Ana looks down at her blackberry which is currently vibrating. "Kate?" Christian asks.

"Yeah, she says _**Thank you for taking care of my family last night and for having us for lunch. What time would you like**_ _**us?**_" She looks up at her husband for confirmation.

"Let's say noon. We can talk and then have lunch at one."

Ana sends a text back to Kate and then kisses her husband. "Have I told you lately how wonderful you are?" she asks him.

Christian gently kisses her lips and runs his hand through her hair. "If I am wonderful, it's all because of you, my wonderful wife." He kisses her again, slowly running both hands down to her backside, and then swiftly pulling her closer to him. "Mine!" Ana lets out a yelp and then giggles. "I will never grow tired of that sound."

After they kiss and enjoy a few more minutes together, they pull apart and decide to start their morning. "I have to go get Natalie" she says to him, but he stops her.

"No, let me. I believe you have some French Toast to make Mrs Grey."

They both stand and he playfully swats her bottom before they wrap their arms around each other and walk into the house.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian walks into the kitchen with Natalie in his arms. Ana has been preparing the ingredients for the French Toast and stops when she sees her husband. Natalie is still in her pajamas and her head is rested on his shoulder.

"Everything alright?" she asks him.

Christian nods and walks toward the breakfast bar. "She didn't want to wake up. She even stayed asleep when I changed her diaper. Was she up late last night?" Ana bites her lip. Christian's always been a lot more strict about bedtime than she has. Christian looks up at her when she doesn't answer. "Ana?"

"She had trouble going to sleep, so yes. She was up a little late." She sees that he is about to reprimand their daughter and she stops him. "Don't be mad at her. She was sad that you weren't here."

Christian changes his mind about reprimanding his daughter and kisses her head. Rather than put her in her booster seat he sits at the breakfast bar with her still in his arms and rubs her back. Ana brings a cup of coffee to him. "Thank you Baby." She starts to cook the French Toast since she hears the girls coming. "By the way, Mom wants us all to go out to dinner tonight. She said something about a surprise and she wants us all there."

Ana turns and smiles at him. "You'll have to pry your son away from the hospital for a few hours if you want him there."

The girls both walk into the kitchen together. "Good morning" Christian says to them after sipping his coffee.

"Good Morning" they both respond. Ava takes the stool next to Christian and Phoebe sits next to her. Ana puts a few pieces of French Toast in front of them once it is ready and they both thank her. Ava stands and pours some orange juice for herself.

"Did you enjoy yourself last night?" Christian asks Phoebe as he takes another sip of his coffee.

Phoebe nods and smiles. "I did. Thank you for taking me. And for the manicure and pedicure."

Christian returns the smile. "You're welcome." He then lifts Natalie off of his lap and puts her in her booster seat, only for her to throw a fit. Christian tries to calm her but it doesn't work. She kicks her legs and cries as Ana puts a plate in front of her. Christian tries to help her eat her breakfast, but it just winds up on the floor. He picks her up and Ana grows worried. He walks toward the main room and she follows.

When she catches up to him she grabs his arm. "Babe, please don't punish her."

Christian calmly turns and looks at Ana. Natalie is still screaming in his arms. He's been trying to soothe her by rubbing her back and shushing her. "I'm not going to" he says softly. "She needs a time out to calm down. Don't worry I'll stay with her until she is calm."

Ana relaxes and reaches up to kiss his lips. She goes walks back to the kitchen to cook while Christian tends to their daughter. He sits on the sofa with her still in his arms and he comforts her until she stops crying. When she is calm he sits her on his lap so that he can look at her.

"Natalie, can you use words and tell Daddy what's wrong?"

Natalie has a frown on her face and she's not looking at Christian. "Daddy mad" she says sadly.

Christian rubs her arms up and down and shakes his head. "No, Daddy's not mad. Are you sure that's why you're upset?"

Natalie nods and has a pouty lip. He leans forward and kisses her head. "Daddy's not mad at you Sweet Pea. Although, I am upset with you for throwing your food on the floor. You need to apologize to Mommy because she made that for you. Are you ready to do that?" Natalie nods again but still has a pouty lip. "Can you use words for me please?"

"Yes" she says softly.

"Good girl." He kisses her forehead and stands with her in his arms again. He walks into the kitchen and is immediately met with Ana's curious eyes. She stands from the breakfast bar and walks over to them.

"Natalie, what do we say to Mommy?" he asks her.

Natalie leans up from Christian's hold to look at Ana. "Sowwy Mommy"

"Natalie is sorry for throwing food on the floor" he says on her behalf.

Ana puts her hands on her daughter and smiles. "It's okay Baby. Mommy forgives you." She leans up and kisses her daughter's cheek. "Shall we try again?" she asks. Ana takes Natalie from Christian and they walk over to the breakfast bar to sit and finish breakfast together.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A few hours later, Kate, Elliot and Cameron are lead into the backyard where Christian, Ana and Ava are waiting. Kate puts Cameron down and he immediately runs over to Ava. She picks him up and hugs him tight. They all make pleasantries before deciding that Kate, Elliot and Ava will talk in the main room while Ana and Christian watch Cameron for them.

Christian and Ana settle on the patio chairs underneath the umbrella. They are enjoying some fruit and they have cheerios for Cameron. They can't help but laugh at the way he fists the cheerios in his hands and shoves his fist in his mouth. Ana holds Cameron in her lap as he enjoys his snack. Christian notices that she is thinking something over.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks her before popping a grape into his mouth.

Ana smiles lovingly as she continues to observe her baby nephew. "Oh, I love my girls so much. But I'm kind of hoping this one is a boy." She rubs her stomach with one of her hands for effect.

Christian smiles too as he watches his nephew. "We can find out if you want. We can ask during your next check-up."

Ana looks back at her husband. They didn't find out the sex of either of their kids. They were surprised with all three of them. "Are you sure? We've never done that before."

Christian smiles his seductive smile at his wife. "Another first Mrs Grey, it's been a long time since we've had one of those." He reaches over for some cheerios and puts them in his hand for Cameron to take and feed himself.

Ana blushes. She loves when her Fifty is sexy and playful like this. She reaches her hand up and softly rubs it over Cameron's head. His hair is slowly coming in. She can remember each of her kids at this age. Teddy would sit with her like this for a little while, and then break free from her to run around and play with his toys. Phoebe would just want to sit with Christian any time he was home. She demanded his attention the most. Natalie doesn't prefer one parent over the other. She's always demanded attention from the both of them. She immediately starts to wonder about Natalie. "Do you have Natalie's monitor out here?"

Christian reaches into his pocket and pulls out the video monitor and shows it to her. Natalie is napping in her bed. Ana looks at the screen and a tear forms in her eye. "Hormones?" Christian asks, and Ana nods.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Elliot and Kate are each seated on the couch with Ava in between them. Elliot is noticeably hung over from the night before. He has to work hard to push the symptoms aside to be able to talk and make things right. Ava and Kate sit quietly and wait for him as he gathers his thoughts.

After some silence he turns to his daughter and miraculously finds the words. "I want to apologize for last night" he starts, and his tone is soft. "My behavior was totally unacceptable and I set a really bad example for you. No matter how upset or angry I am, you never deserve to see me like that. I should never _be_ like that."

Ava looks down and nods when he stops talking and takes a few breaths. He leans his head down and rubs it hard with his hand before he continues. "What you did was unacceptable for a different reason, and I should have reacted differently. I should have taken some time to think about the situation and…. had I done that I probably wouldn't have hit you." He says the last part as a whisper. Ava looks up at him and can tell that he feels shame for hitting her. "I'm not ready for any of this Ava. You…. having sex and drinking. Unfortunately it's not illegal for you to have sex, but it is illegal for you to be drinking. So I'm allowed to be mad at you for that."

Ava looks down again and nods her head. She still doesn't say anything to him.

"I'm not going to ban you from seeing Nathan" he says. "Your mother and I have agreed that that wouldn't be practical. But you can't drink again, not until you are twenty one."

Ava nods. "Okay"

"Really?" he asks her and looks at her. He has to work hard to keep the shock out of his face.

"Really, I won't drink. It's not like I enjoyed it. And what happened after." She says the last part softly. "Just… don't be mad at me for growing up. I need to do that."

"Yes, you do" he agrees. "I don't have to like it, but I guess I need to learn to accept it."

"We both do" Kate adds as she wraps her arms around her daughter. "You're our little girl. Well, our little big girl." Both Ava and Kate laugh at that, and even Elliot can't help but smile at them. "Your Dad and I love you so much."

"I love you guys too" Ava says, still enveloped in her mother's arms from behind her. "I hate all the fighting."

"So do we" Elliot says. "How 'bout we don't do that anymore."

Ava smirks at him. "You make it sound so easy."

Elliot shrugs. "It's not. It's something we need to work at. We all need to be willing to do that….. Kate."

Kate's eyes and mouth widen at this. "Me?"

"Yes you" Elliot says jokingly and takes a pillow swatted at him by Kate. "Fine, all of us. There, is that better?" Kate gives him a look which tells him he will pay for that later, and Ava doesn't see it. She is looking at her father. "Can I have a hug too?" he asks her. Ava leans forward and hugs him. "I love you Pumpkin."

"I love you too Dad" she says as he squeezes her tighter.

Right on queue Ana walks into the main room with Cameron in her arms and Christian right behind her. "Lunch is ready."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

While her family has lunch in the dining room, Phoebe prepares to meet with Trevor. She is nervous, even though she shared a few dances with him last evening. This meeting will involve talking. Talking about their relationship, or the end of it? Talking about the road trip, about not having sex, about Dylan? _Oh no, I don't think I can talk about that. He's going to want to know why I left. What should I say? _ She doesn't have much time to think it over since a text message from Trevor comes through to let her know he has arrived. She slams her hair brush down on her vanity harder than she meant to and checks her make-up one last time before leaving her bedroom.

* * *

_**I really didn't mean to end this as a cliffhanger. This chapter is long and I need to stop and post it. I didn't want you to think I forgot about Phoebe and Trevor. Thanks for reading and as always, Happy Reading!**_


	20. Fifty Picnic

"Fifty Shades of Parenting More"

Phoebe's POV

I reach the bottom of the steps and I'm greeted by Dovis and Trevor in the foyer. Trevor is holding a big picnic basket and he has a big smile on his face. He looks so handsome and I want to just melt. He is wearing a casual navy blue short sleeved golf shirt tucked into his blue jeans. His hair is slightly messy, which is the style now. I am wearing a casual yellow and green sundress and white strappy sandals. My hair is down and wavy and my long bangs are pushed to the side of my face. We just stare at each other for a few minutes, no words. Dovis excuses himself and happily retreats to some other part of the house.

Trevor is the first to speak. "I hope you're hungry. I made some sandwiches and some snacks."

"You made lunch?" I ask him, and I can't keep the surprise out of my voice. He's never done anything like this. Prepare food. He temporarily looks hurt and then immediately changes his facial expression in an attempt to hide it from me. He smiles shyly at me and I feel terrible for offending him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

"That's okay. I've spent all morning preparing this so I hope you at least try it."

It's my turn to smile shyly at him. "Of course I will. Why don't we eat in the meadow? I'll grab some drinks and a blanket."

He agrees and follows me through the house while I grab the drinks and find a blanket. I'm grateful that my family is having lunch in the dining room. I've adjusted to my father's security keeping an eye on me from the shadows but for some reason I still feel shy about my family watching me when I'm with Trevor. I feel like my interaction with any guy should be kept private from them.

After laying out the blanket and sitting comfortably in the meadow, Trevor immediately breaks out the sandwiches. I enjoy watching him when he is so excited about something. Something he's done for me. I start to feel giddy inside, but also nervous since, well let's face it, it's food. And I know it will offend him if I don't like it. He passes one of the sandwiches to me and encourages me to take a bite.

"What is it?" I ask him, since I'm weird about any unfamiliar food that I put in my mouth.

"Don't ask questions. Just try it" he says, and I giggle since this is something my father does with me. He gets me to try food without questioning it and examining it first. That always makes me nervous, but something about wanting to please my father always wins over and I wind up surrendering myself to something very alien. I guess something inside of me wants to please Trevor too, because before I am able to stop myself I bite into the sandwich. I chew for a few seconds and my taste buds start to kick in. The first thing I notice is the chicken, and then the flavors of basil, tomato and balsamic. There is also cheese. Mozzarella, I think. I smile and nod at him, and I'm rewarded with his cute boyish smile. "You like it?"

I swallow and I can't keep the smile off my face. "Yes I do. What is it?"

"Chicken Caprese. My mother taught me how to prepare it."

I take another bite because I really do like it. After I swallow I look at him again and see that he's staring at me. I immediately feel insecure. I've never liked anyone staring at me. "Aren't you going to eat?" I ask him nervously.

He looks down at his sandwich, picks it up and takes a bite. I smile at him and take another bite of my sandwich. "I'm sorry for staring" he says. "I was just excited about making this lunch for you and I'm really glad that you like it."

I can't help but blush. I love that he did this for me. But my smile fades when I am brought back to reality. I'm not sure where I stand with him right now. After all, I did leave him in LA without a word. And I'm still mad at him for telling Dylan about our sex life, or lack thereof. He catches me pouting before I even realize that I'm pouting. He gently grasps my chin and I am forced to look at him.

"Where were you just now?" he asks me with a light smile.

I shake my head and shrug. I didn't want to ruin this nice moment we were having, but my stupid thoughts had to get in the way. "I love that you did this for me. It was really nice and I appreciate it." I look down again because I'm having trouble looking at him.

"But?"

I take a breath and decide it is now or never. I look up at him and can see that he is worried, so I decide that I probably can't tell him everything right now. I shake my head as I gather my thoughts.

"Phoebe, tell me" he says softly. And I can feel the tears coming. I must not cry, I must not cry.

"Um, we should talk about California."

He nods in agreement and starts to clear things away since we have finished our sandwiches. He moves the picnic basket out of the way and moves to sit closer to me. He takes my hand, and it feels somewhat comforting. He starts to rub my knuckles with his thumb, and I start to think that maybe I can tell him everything. "Let's start with the night of the party" he says softly. "You didn't want to go, but you told me that I should. I really didn't want to go without you, but you insisted. You told me you would just be relaxing and watching TV in our room."

I think about that night and it is so clear in my head, well part of it is. I was relaxing and I was watching TV. I know Trevor can sense my reluctance so he starts to push me. "Please, Phoebe. Tell me what happened. What made you leave? Was it something I did?"

"No" I immediately answer him, but then I take it back. "Well yes, kind of."

He looks confused but he keeps hold of my hand and encourages me to keep talking. "Whatever it is, just tell me please. I need to know."

I look in his eyes and he looks so lost and pained. I sigh and my mouth turns into a hard line. I look down at our hands again, looking for the courage to speak. I am grateful that he is being so patient with me right now since it is taking me so long to get the words out. I open my mouth and hope to god some words come out. And once they do I can't stop. I keep my eyes on anything but him as I speak.

"Dylan came into the room. He gave me a drink and told me it was club soda. But after taking a sip I knew it was alcohol." I hear him gasp but I don't stop. If I stop, I fear I won't ever muster the courage again to say this. "He started talking to me about you and about me, and before I knew it he was on top of me and he had my hands tied above my head. I tried to fight him off but he was too strong and I was too lightheaded, but I kept telling him to stop. He said…. he said I should be grateful to him, because he was going to show me how to please you in bed. He said you told him about my problem, and I was just so angry with you for that and so scared because I didn't want what he was trying to do to me." I am turning into an emotional mess right now, but I can't stop. I have to get this out. He needs to know. He is still holding my hand but he is no longer rubbing my knuckles. I think he's numb, but I don't look at him. I can't. I try to continue my story but I'm having trouble finding the words. I shake my head and feel my lips tremble, and then I let out a whimper. I've been working so hard to hold back on crying.

Suddenly I feel his hand on my face and he is slowly moving it, forcing me to look at him. My eyes lock with his and I'm still at a loss for words. A few tears have escaped my eyes, but right now I am just looking at him open mouthed, like I'm in shock. He looks both pained and apologetic, but then he gives me a stern look.

"Phoebe. I need you to tell me the truth. Did Dylan rape you?"

I continue to look in his eyes and can see that this is killing him. To have to ask me this question about his cousin. I feel my lips tremble even more before I am able to answer him. "No." I shake my head lightly and he leaves go of my face. I can hear him sigh, like he's relieved that it didn't go as far as rape. More tears roll down my face and I am still whimpering like a baby. I can't help it. I start to feel myself shaking and I wrap my arms around myself. He reaches over and takes my hand again, but I keep my one arm wrapped around myself. He kisses the back of my hand and holds it with both of his. "Okay" he sighs again. "I have a feeling that there's more. I know this is hard but I need you to tell me, please."

I close my eyes, take in a deep breath and let it out, looking away from him again. There are still tears in my eyes and it is badly affecting my vision, but I don't care to do anything about it at the moment. I start to feel cold and Trevor notices. He doesn't say a word, but he takes my sweater and wraps it around my shoulders. He takes my hand again and I start to feel safe with the warmth of my sweater and with him holding my hand. I open my mouth again and the words come out in nearly a whisper. "He had me pinned on the bed and my hands were tied, and he pulled it out and showed it to me. I got really scared and really freaked out, because I didn't want him. I only wanted you in that way. And I was afraid he was going to force me."

Trevor moves and wraps his arms around me, pulling my head to his shoulder. That is my undoing. Being in his arms and him rubbing my back, I let go and start sobbing. He holds me and says nothing as I dampen his shirt. Crying feels good right now. Everything I've been through since the road trip has just been bottled up inside of me. What Dylan did to me, fighting with my father, meeting Danny and seeing him suffer with his cancer, still not being close with my father the way we used to be, being estranged from Trevor, it has all been bottled up and I haven't been able to release any of it until now. It is a good fifteen minutes before I am able to stop crying. Trevor is still holding me and rubbing my back. I feel him kiss my hair a few times. His soothing voice starts telling me that it's going to be okay, and for some reason I believe it when he says it.

He slowly leaves go of me and takes both of my hands in his. I am still gasping in between breaths since I've been crying so much and once again I avoid eye contact with him. He leans in closer to me and speaks softly. "Do you want to press charges?"

His question takes me by surprise. I honestly haven't thought of that. Did Dylan even commit a crime? What he did was wrong, but I doubt the police can do anything about it. I shake my head. "No, I don't."

"Phoebe, are you sure? Because if you want to press charges I will stick by you."

"He's your cousin" I argue softly. My voice is still a whisper.

"I don't care" he fires back. He is finally letting his anger come out about the incident. "What he did to you is sick and it's wrong. He crossed the line. As far as I'm concerned he is no family of mine." I look up at him and our eyes meet again. There is so much pain and anger in his eyes. I also see fear. He brings both of my hands to his lips and kisses each one a few times. "You are my family. That is if you still want to be my girlfriend. I really hope you will be." He gently brings one of his hands to my face and I lean my face into it. I close my eyes and feel his thumb gently caress my cheek. "I'm so sorry for what he did to you. You didn't deserve that, you didn't deserve to be treated that way." Suddenly I feel his hand leave my face. I open my eyes to look at him and I can see darkness take him over. "Honestly, I could kill him for this. He better hope that I never see him again."

It's my turn to comfort him. I can see how much this is hurting him too and I manage to let go of my anger with him for sharing such personal information about us with his cousin. Right now that just seems so trivial. "Don't say that. Please. I just want to move past this."

Trevor looks at me as though I have two heads. "Can we move past this?"

I shrug my shoulders. I honestly don't know, but I want to. "I told you what had happened. That's a start, isn't it?"

This time he breaks eye contact with me and looks down at our hands. He shakes his head as though he is trying to release the negative thoughts from his mind. He closes his eyes and raises his head again. "I'm glad you told me. I know it was really hard for you to do that." Our hands are once again joined and he gently claps his hand on top of both of mine and rubs them. "I think it is a very important step for us, that you can be honest with me about something so horrible. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. So I need you to continue to communicate with me and be honest with me. And I will do the same with you."

"Okay" I tell him, and I start to breathe a little easier now. I did it. I told him. And as horrible as it is that Dylan did that to me and is going to get away with it, I feel better that Trevor now knows about it. I no longer feel alone in this. I manage to smile lightly at him.

"You're smiling." I nod and can feel my smile grow bigger. "I guess I'm a little confused."

I shrug my shoulders. "I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Keeping this a secret and then telling you, that was hard. Not only because I'm ashamed and embarrassed, but also because he's your cousin." The smile leaves my face as I look at his face and gauge his reaction.

He shakes his head and then looks at me again. "Phoebe, you have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Please, what Dylan did was shameful. I hate what he did to you, but I am grateful that it didn't go further. Because I want to be your first. When you are ready that is. Not a minute before that." I smile again and this time I blush. I wonder if the mere mention of sex will always embarrass me, or if it will stop once I actually have it. He catches me blushing and he finally manages to smile. "Can I assume by your facial expression that you want that too?"

I continue to blush and smile at him as I nod. I do want that, when I'm ready that is. I am still amazed that he is willing to wait for me. I watch as he repositions himself so that he is on his knees and sitting on his legs.

"Phoebe Grey, will you be my girlfriend again?"

How can I say no to that? He is being so genuine and caring. Even after hearing what his cousin has done to me. I lean up on my knees and sit on my legs to mirror him. "Yes, I'd love to." He leans over and kisses me to seal the deal. When we separate I am nearly breathless. It's been a while since we've kissed. I've really missed him. I watch him reach into the picnic basket for some snacks. He pulls out some homemade cookies and a small cooler.

"You baked?" I asked him, still amazed at how much trouble he went through for today.

"From scratch" he says and flashes a big smile my way. He is so hot right now. He opens the cooler to reveal a small carton of milk.

"Milk and cookies" I smile at him. This was a favorite snack of ours while we were on the road together. He pours the milk into a plastic cup for us to share. We each start to dip our cookies into the milk and enjoy the snack. No words are exchanged between us for some time as we enjoy the cookies and milk, but we do exchange smiles.

After a few minutes I clap my hands together to rid my fingers of cookie crumbs. There is one last thing that I need Trevor to understand before I can even attempt to make my peace with this.

"Trevor?"

"Yeah?"

"Nobody can know about this."

For a moment he looks confused, like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I continue to study his expression and can see that it finally clicks with him. "You don't want anyone to know about Dylan."

"That's right" I say. "I'm not pressing charges so I don't see why anyone else needs to know."

He takes my hand and rubs my knuckles again. "Nobody needs to know. If you decide to tell anyone about it, that will be your call."

We both nod in agreement and continue to enjoy our snack. I am grateful that he is being so good to me about this. Not only did I leave him in LA, but I also avoided contact with him for weeks. Any other guy would have given up on me. I know I have a good guy in Trevor for sticking it out for so long, and for waiting for sex, and for making this fabulous lunch for me. It occurs to me that I've probably taken Trevor for granted. I'm sure I've taken a lot of things for granted. But no more of that. From now on I need to keep my eyes open to the great things in my life and embrace them.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


	21. Fifty Grey Dinner

Christian saunters into the bedroom hoping to join his wife in the shower, but finds he is too late since Ana is already showered and in their spacious walk-in closet. He remains outside of the closet to hear her grunting and moaning as she throws aside dress after dress. He holds back for a bit, but decides to approach her when she grows distressed. He walks into the closet and sees her grab her head in frustration. Careful to not startle her, he slowly and gently walks up behind her and reaches his hands out, making contact with her bare shoulders. He starts to massage them and brings his face close to her ear.

"I much prefer the bra and panties" he says of her current wardrobe. "But you know how much I hate to share."

Ana sighs in frustration and moves away from him, causing him to drop his arms. "This isn't funny Christian" she scolds. "I am four months pregnant and already I am having trouble finding clothes that fit me. We have to meet your parents for dinner and I have nothing to wear!"

He keeps his tone calm and attempts to soothe her. He knows from experience that this isn't his Ana, and that her hormones are acting up. "Baby, it's going to be okay. Look, I've already asked Gail to press some of your old maternity dresses and work clothes for you. And we can go shopping tomorrow and buy some more."

This seems to work and Ana starts to show signs of calming down. "You did?" she asks in a quivered voice.

Christian smiles at her and approaches her again. He puts his hands on her hips and brings his face down and close to hers. "Of course I did. I told you I'll always take care of your needs." He kisses her nose, which causes her to lightly chuckle at herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm overreacting aren't I?"

Christian brushes his nose against hers a few times. "That's okay, Baby." He puts his hands on her small baby bump. "You have a very good reason. Our little miracle."

Ana can't help but smile at her husband. She reaches up and puts her arms around his neck. "Thank you"

"For what?" He leaves go of her bump and wraps his arms around her lower back, pulling her body closer to his.

"For being so wonderful. For putting up with me and these crazy hormones." She reaches up and kisses his lips.

"You're very welcome Mrs Grey, and…" he leans back and looks down at her body again. "I take it back. I much prefer you without the bra and panties." He leans down and kisses her and can feel her blush. He chuckles while his mouth is still on hers.

"What is it? she asks.

"I want you Ana, right now. Come, we can be a little late."

Ana tries to pull away from him but his grip on her is too tight. "Christian, we can't. Your parents will be waiting. Where are these pressed dresses that you speak of?" Christian is in a teasing mood. He starts to trail kisses down her chin and neck. "Christian!" She playfully scolds him and tries to push him away again.

"Are you saying no to me Anastasia?" he asks her seductively which sends shivers up her spine.

"Oh" she snorts and decides to give in. "I wouldn't dream of it Christian."

After he plants more kisses on her neck he lifts her up and she wraps her legs around him, kissing him while he carries her out of their closet and over to their bed. He lays her down and hungrily climbs on top of her, staring at her greedily before he resumes kissing her lips. He slowly pulls on her panties until he is able to remove them and proceeds to unzip his pants. Before she knows it he is inside of her. After the breakdown she nearly had in their closet this is exactly what she needs, her husband inside of her, thrusting in and out first slowly, and then faster. She starts to meet him thrust for thrust and he is the first to come. She follows, and they are soon collapsed on the bed together catching their breaths.

After some time has passed Christian leans up and over his wife and kisses her shoulder. "Feel better Baby?"

"Much" she turns her head and smiles at him. They sit up together and start to climb off the bed. "I have to get Natalie ready" she says, and the panic starts to build in her again with having to get ready to go out. Christian can sense the sudden change in her and quickly comes to her rescue again.

"I'll take care of Natalie, you take your time and get ready."

"She needs a bath" she says exasperated.

"I'll take care of it" he insists. "Why don't you start on your hair and I'll bring one of the dresses up for you?"

Ana smiles at her husband again, always cool and in control. "Ok"

"Ok" he repeats and leaves the room.

As promised, Christian returns to their bedroom with Natalie and two dresses for Ana to choose from. He lays them on the bed for her and gives Natalie a quick bath in their bathroom. When he walks back into the bedroom holding Natalie he is met with his gorgeous wife in a blue sleeveless dress with a navy blue sash that wraps around her just above her baby bump. "You chose the blue one" he comments with a smile.

"That I did." Ana sees that he is pleased and resumes getting herself ready.

Christian puts a diaper and t-shirt on Natalie and dries her hair while she holds on tight to her small plastic Ariel toy. Ana can't help but glance at them every once in a while as she curls her hair in front of the mirror. She enjoys every moment she can experience watching her big CEO husband cater to their kids. She watches him pick her up and hold her for a moment.

"You're very quiet Sweet Pea. Are you okay?" he asks her. Natalie just nods and then cuddles into his chest, still holding her plastic toy in her hand. He rubs her back and kisses her head. "You just like to cuddle Daddy?" He continues to hold her for a while and then puts her on the bed again to finish dressing her. He puts another shirt on her and a denim jumper that comes to just above her knees. He then starts to put white tights on her, but Natalie pulls her knees into her chest to stop him.

"Natalie, come on we have to finish getting dressed" he tells her, but he is only met with more uncooperativeness.

"No Daddy" she whines.

Ana looks over and sees what he is trying to do. "Babe, she can wear her socks with the lace. I put them out for her."

Christian looks over at Ana. "It gets chilly at night, I don't want her to be cold." He tries to put the tights on Natalie again, but she pulls away again and grows more upset.

"Christian, we can bring her blanket in case she gets cold. Those tights are for winter."

Christian does his best to hide his annoyance. "Fine" he says calmly. "I'll go and get the socks. Stay on the bed" he tells Natalie before he leaves the room.

Natalie looks up at her mother when she sees her walking over to the bed. "You look beautiful Mommy"

Ana smiles lovingly at her baby girl. "Thank you, Baby. You look beautiful too. Daddy did a good job dressing you. But we should do something more with your hair. Do you want me to put barrettes in your hair?" Natalie frowns and shakes her head. Ana could never understand how Natalie can be so girly at times, putting on toy bracelets and necklaces and letting her paint her fingernails and toenails. But she would never allow her to put anything in her hair. Christian walks back into the room and shows Natalie the socks. She smiles and takes the socks out of his hands. He watches as she tries to put them on her feet by herself, doing his best to hide his amusement so she doesn't feel made fun of. When she gives up she holds her foot out for him to do it and he happily obliges. He fixes both socks and neatly folds them over so that the lace is circled around her ankles. He then puts her shoes on and she is ready to go.

"Okay, now Daddy needs to get dressed. Do you want to hang out in here with Mommy?"

"Mommy!" she happily replies. He kisses her forehead and puts one of her baby dolls in her arms that he brought in from her bedroom. When he sees that Natalie is distracted with her doll, he positions himself next to his wife and gives her a good slap on her bottom before he walks into the bathroom for a quick shower.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Ana arrive at the restaurant with all three of their kids and Taylor and Gail. Taylor and Gail do not usually work on the weekends unless they accompany the Greys to events or family dinners. Christian pulls the chair next to his out for Ana and then puts Natalie in the booster seat on the other side of him. Phoebe takes the chair across from her parents and is seated between Teddy and Ava. Everyone is already there since Christian and Ana were running late. Christian looks around the table after greeting everyone and notices there are five seats open. He immediately realizes what is happening and cannot hide his excitement. Grace and Carrick notice his big smile that mirrors that of any child's on Christmas morning.

His realization is confirmed when Ethan and a bubbly Mia arrive with their kids. Everyone stands and they all exchange hugs. Christian and Elliot are definitely delighted to see their little sister. Phoebe and Ava are very excited to see their Aunt. After hugs are exchanged, the family is seated and salads and appetizers are brought to the table. They engage in light conversations and enjoy watching the little kids. Elizabeth and Christopher busy themselves with coloring while Natalie, Sophia and Cameron are being passed around to sit with their Aunts and Uncles. When the entrees are served everyone is back in their seats and Mia prepares to make an important announcement.

"Ethan and I are very delighted that everyone could make it on such short notice" she begins. "We have news that we'd like to share with you all."

All eyes are on Mia and she is absolutely glowing. Phoebe and Ava immediately assume that she is pregnant again, but they do not say it out loud. Christian puts his arm around Ana. He is pretty sure he knows about their good news. Grace and Carrick look on with warm smiles on their faces, and Kate and Elliot try to get Cameron to settle in his high chair so that he isn't disturbing the family's meal.

"Ethan and I and the kids have decided to pack up our lives and move to the rainy city." She holds up her glass of wine as a sign of a toast and takes a big sip.

"Aunt Mia" Ava says excitedly. "Really? You're moving here?"

"Really" she confirms and smiles lovingly at her husband. He smiles back and holds her hand under the table.

Ava and Phoebe both hurry out of their seats and attack their Aunt with hugs. After they release her she is met with both of her brothers again. She stands and hugs them both. "This is great Mia" Elliot says warmly. He hugs her tightly and then releases her. Mia reaches up and dries a tear from his eye.

"Geez, man up bro" she says teasingly. But he doesn't seem to mind. He is extremely happy with the news, as is Christian. He hugs his sister tight and kisses her hair.

"You have no idea how happy this makes me." He leaves go of her and can't keep the smile off of his face. His sister has been living in another state for so long. And now that she'll be in Seattle, he'll get to see her more than six times a year. "What are your plans? Where are you staying? Where are you going to live?" he asks her, getting right to the details as everyone else revels in the good news.

"Christian, please one question at a time" Mia says defensively.

"Christian, have a seat" Carrick lightly orders. "Your sister will get to all that."

Christian frowns, not used to being kept on the outside when it comes to planning things out. He would have liked to be a part of this. Instead, his sister had decided to surprise everyone except for their parents with her sudden appearance in Seattle and the news of the move. Had he known she was going through with this, he would have insisted that they stay with him until they get settled. Mia can see that he is pained by this and tries to put him at ease. She reaches out and puts her hands on his arm. "I know you don't like secrets, but I really wanted to surprise you. I hope you're not mad."

Christian changes his facial expression and lightly smiles at her. "You're right, I hate surprises. But this is a good one. Welcome home Mia." He leans down and kisses her forehead. He then walks to the other side of the table and reclaims his seat between Ana and Natalie.

Throughout the meal Mia and Ethan discuss their plans. They will stay with Carrick and Grace until they find a house that they like. Ethan will travel back and forth between Seattle and Los Angeles for a while since he will continue to work a few days a week. Mia has already found a location in Seattle for her boutique and has already started to plan that move. They will enroll Elizabeth and Christopher in school so that they can start in the fall. Christian insists on helping to locate the right school for them and doesn't take no for an answer.

Natalie starts to fuss and doesn't want to eat her dinner. Christian moves her food around her plate and shows her the portion that she needs to eat. He then looks over at Phoebe's plate and notices that she hasn't eaten much. He does the same thing for her and she doesn't argue. She picks up her fork and is reluctant to eat, but she doesn't want to cause any more problems between her and her father. She can feel his eyes on her so she forces a piece of her chicken into her mouth.

After a few minutes Natalie starts to fuss again. Christian tries to help her eat, but then she starts crying like she is in pain. He lifts her out of her booster seat and puts her in his lap sideways so that he can look at her face. Her mouth is open and tears have formed in her eyes. He lightly puts his fingers around her jaw to look at her mouth. "Baby, did you bite your tongue?"

Natalie nods and continues to cry. He tries to discretely remove a small chunk of food that is in her mouth so that she doesn't choke and then stands with her in her arms. He reaches down for the diaper bag and excuses himself from the table. Teddy also excuses himself. Ana tugs on Christian's arm before he walks away. "Do you want me to take her?"

"No Baby I got this" he says softly.

Teddy follows his father into the private family restroom and offers to help. Natalie is so upset to the point where nothing can console her. She sees Teddy and reaches her arms out to him. Teddy is surprised by this but takes her into his arms and holds her. She continues to cry while he rubs her back. "What do you think is wrong with her?" he asks his father.

"I don't know. She's been out of sorts all day today. She's wet so I'm going to change her while we're in here."

Christian sets things up while Teddy tries to calm his sister, bouncing his body and shushing her. Once he has everything set up, Christian takes Natalie and changes her. He puts her plastic Ariel toy in her hand but Natalie leaves go of it. Teddy picks it up and tries to give it to her again but she doesn't want it. He holds her hand and rubs his other hand through her hair while Christian cleans her up and redresses her.

"Dad, I think her head is warm"

Christian picks her up and gently plants his lips on her forehead to see if she feels warm. He kisses her and then looks down at her. Her cries have calmed into whimpers. "You're right, I think she has a fever. I'm going to take her home." He pulls out his blackberry and dials Dovis.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Teddy asks.

Christian looks at his son and puts his blackberry to his ear. Dovis answers on the first ring. Christian instructs him to drive out to the restaurant to bring him home. After he ends the call he answers his son. "No, I need you to stay with your mother and sister. I also need you to look over the check when it comes and make sure it is accurate. I'm covering everything."

Christian returns to the table to say his goodbyes. Natalie grips him tight, worried that he will put her down. He reaches down and kisses his wife, telling her he wants her to stay and enjoy herself and that he will see her at home. He also makes a point to remind Phoebe that she needs to eat more of the food on her plate and that he will know if she doesn't. Phoebe frowns and picks her fork up again. She forces a few more fork fulls before her father leaves the restaurant. After the waiters collect the dishes they take dessert and coffee orders. Phoebe decides to pass on dessert and tells Ava that she isn't feeling well. Both girls excuse themselves from the table to use the restroom.

Teddy moves to the other side of the table and sits next to his grandmother. He talks to her about Rebecca's surgery and recovery. Carrick moves and sits next to Elizabeth and Christopher. He is ecstatic that he will be able to see more of his grandkids now that they'll be in Seattle full time, and they'll be staying with him until Ethan and Mia find a place of their own. Ana and Mia move and sit with Kate and Ethan sits with Elliot. Mia has a sleepy Sophia in her lap and Kate has a wide awake Cameron in hers. They excitedly start to plan a full day of shopping. They are giddy like teenagers, and it starts to feel like they are in their early twenties again.

Dessert and coffee are served and the adults continue to enjoy their conversations. As instructed, Teddy gets the check and looks it over to make sure nothing is missing. His father has always taught him to make sure they pay for everything they have ordered.

When Phoebe and Ava return to the table, Ava informs her Aunt Ana that Phoebe had gotten sick in the restroom. Ana decides that it is time for them to leave and informs Carrick and Grace that Christian had already paid for dinner. Mia and Kate both roll their eyes since it is no shocker that Christian would do that, and Ana giggles knowing how much her husband hates eye rolling and what he would do if he were there to witness the impoliteness of it. She puts her hands on her little bump and takes a moment to appreciate how wonderful her life is right now, and how much more wonderful it will be when they add another Grey baby to the fold. Kate and Mia both look at her and giggle. Phoebe starts to feel nauseous again. "Mom" she says softly, and Ana immediately looks over at her.

"Okay Baby, we're going" she says as she is pulled out of her reverie.


	22. Fifty At Fault

Christian walks into the master bedroom and is surprised to already find Ana removing her jewelry. She turns and lightly smiles at him. "You're home sooner than I expected" he says warmly, hoping he will be able to take advantage of their early arrival home, but Ana's news derails his short lived plans of fucking and love making. She walks over to him and wraps her arms around his neck, kissing him briefly.

"Phoebe got sick in the restroom after you left" she tells him.

Christian immediately grows worried. Ana's arms are still wrapped around his neck and his hands have found their way to her hips. "Is she okay?" Ana nods and is reluctant to share her theory of why their daughter got sick. Christian can tell that she is unsure about something. "Ana, what is it?"

Ana shrugs her shoulders, not sure he is even going to believe her, but she decides to tell him. "Well, your mother and I think she ate too much."

Christian lightly chuckles at the thought, but then he sees that Ana is serious. "Ana, this is Phoebe we're talking about."

"Christian, think about it. We had French Toast for breakfast, she had lunch with Trevor, then we had snacks in the backyard before we got ready for dinner, then it was appetizers, soup, salad, more appetizers and then the entrée. Phoebe's not used to eating all that."

Christian frowns at the thought that he could have caused this. "This is my fault." Ana reaches up and caresses his cheek, but it does nothing to soothe him. "This is my fault. I told her that she needed to eat more of her dinner."

Ana continues to caress his cheek but it still doesn't soothe him. He takes her hand away from his face and kisses it before lowering it. They are interrupted by Natalie's light cries in the baby monitor.

"Mommy" she whines a few times.

"I better go check on her" Ana says before kissing her husband and leaving the room. Christian remains still in his spot as he recalls being at the restaurant and telling his daughters to eat their dinner. He is snapped back to the present when he hears Ana and Natalie through the baby monitor.

"Mommy, sing song" he can hear his baby girl say in a tired voice. The next thing he hears is the heavenly sound of his wife's voice singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". He can't help but smile and start to feel soothed by it. That is the song she always sings to Natalie. Her song for Teddy was always "You Are My Sunshine", and they both would take turns singing "Daydream Believer" to Phoebe. He's not quite sure why that became the song they sang to Phoebe, but he manages to smile at the memory. He quickly changes into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt before leaving the bedroom.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian knocks on Phoebe's door and enters to find her sitting on her bed. She is lying sideways on a slant against her pillow. She had already managed to change into her pajamas and her arms are wrapped tightly around herself. "You're mother told me you weren't feeling well." He continues to look at her and notices that she is uncomfortable. She looks like she's about to be sick again. "Do you feel like you need to throw up?" he asks her softly.

She shakes her head quickly, but he knows she's not being truthful. He steps further into the room and places a glass of ginger ale on the night stand. He then holds his hand out to her. "Come. Come into the bathroom. I will come with you."

"No" she says softly it is almost a whisper. "I'll be fine."

Christian does his best to keep his temper in check. He knows this is his fault for making her eat more of her dinner. He lets out a sigh before trying again. "Phoebe, please, I promise you will feel much better after."

Phoebe is reluctant. She hates throwing up. She'd figured if she sat up in bed for a while and not lie down, she could prevent it from happening. But it is becoming much more difficult, especially because her father is here encouraging her to do it. After much hesitation, she quickly climbs out of bed and rushes into her bathroom. Christian follows and walks in just as she is vomiting into the toilet. Her hair is already pulled back into a ponytail, so he just squats and rubs her back until she is finished. He then retrieves a wet wash cloth for her to wash her face.

"Can I have a few minutes?" Phoebe asks him softly. Christian agrees to give her privacy and leaves her bathroom. A few minutes later Phoebe emerges from her bathroom and sees her father looking at pictures that she keeps on her dresser. She doesn't approach him. Instead, she climbs back into bed and pulls the covers over herself. Christian walks over to the bed and sits in a chair nearby so that he can look at her.

"Your mother thinks you ate too much" he starts and shakes his head. "I never thought that was possible. But….. after everything your mother said you ate today, I realize that maybe it was too much." He pauses and looks at his daughter. She is lying on her side curled up under the thick blanket. Her eyes are open but she is not looking at him. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "I worry about you not eating enough. I don't want you to get sick or end up in the hospital again malnourished. That is why I push, and I am sorry for failing to realize that you had too much to eat today. I really wish you would have said something to me when I told you to eat more of your dinner." He pauses again. Phoebe still doesn't say anything. "I brought you some ginger ale. It should help settle your stomach" he says softly.

"Thank you" she says mirroring his soft tone.

"You're welcome. Why don't you take a few sips?"

Phoebe sits up slightly and reaches for the glass on the night stand. He grabs it first and hands it to her. After she takes a few sips through the straw she covers herself with the blanket again and lies down.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asks her.

Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. "A little"

"Do you want me to stay?" Phoebe shakes her head. "Are you mad at me?" he asks, feeling even more guilty for causing her to feel ill. He is slightly relieved when she shakes her head again. He leans closer and runs his hand through her hair, removing her hair tie that's been holding her hair loosely and messily in a ponytail. He has to use two hands when he realizes that some of her hair is knotted in the tie.

"Ow!" she hisses when some of the strands are pulled too hard.

"Shhh, I'm sorry, I almost got it….. how's that?" he asks once he's removed her hair tie. She only offers a nod for approval. His lips are pressed together into a line. He's not angry with her, but frustrated for not being able to comfort her. Not only is she not welcoming it, but it is not coming naturally to him like it used to. He decides to leave her to sleep. "Okay. I'll come and check on you in the morning." He walks over to the door and shuts off the light. "Sleep well" he tells her before shutting the door.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian sulks as he enters the master bedroom. He closes the door when he sees that Ana is already there and in bed. He grabs the baby monitor and sits on the bed facing away from her. He watches the video and sees that his baby girl is settled and sleeping.

"Is Phoebe asleep?" she asks sleepily, knowing that that is where her husband was while she was tending to Natalie.

Christian only offers a grunt and continues to watch Natalie through the monitor. Ana pushes the blanket aside and slowly crawls up behind him, places her arms around his shoulders and starts planting kisses on the side of his face. He doesn't respond to her. His guilt and his self-loathing are preventing him from welcoming the comfort of his wife's touch and sexual advances. Ana continues to kiss him and rubs her fingers up and down his arms, but when she realizes that he is too lost in himself to respond she stops and rests her chin on his shoulder. She knows that he is beating himself up inside and she will need to snap him out of it.

"Phoebe's going to be fine. And Natalie too."

Christian nods and keeps his eyes on the monitor.

Ana softly kisses his cheek again and whispers in his ear. "You are a terrific father. You are also human and make mistakes. The kids and I love you so much." She continues to plant soft kisses on his cheek and he finally moves and turns to face her. He takes her hand, brings it up to his lips and plants a few kisses. He keeps her hand in his while massaging her knuckles with his thumb. "Please, don't doubt that."

Christian stares into his wife's gorgeous blue eyes and is able to calm is breathing. Her eyes are home to him, his safest place. He brings her hand to his lips and kisses it again. "You and the kids are everything to me. I hate to see them hurt or sick, and what's worse is I'm usually the cause of it."

"Don't do this" she pleads. "Please don't, you are not the cause of their pain or when they're sick. You make mistakes sometimes, yes, but you more than make up for them. Christian, you have no idea how wonderful you are with the kids. It's as if you block out everything good whenever something goes wrong." Christian is pouting, so Ana grabs his chin and forces him to look at her. "Look at me" she snaps. "You are a wonderful father, and a wonderful husband. This thing with Phoebe is going to take some time, and you are putting the time in. And soon it will pay off."

"When, Ana?" he asks. She can hear the frustration and desperation in his voice and it breaks her heart. She reaches her hands up and places them on his face. "It will. You two have always had something special, and you will get it back. You need to be patient.

"I've never been a patient man" he shakes his head, forcing Ana's hands to drop to his shoulders.

"Believe me, I know."

Christian's facial expression changes and he smirks. "Are you sassing me, Mrs Grey?"

Ana has to work hard to prevent the smile that is threatening. "Are you smirking at me, Mr Grey?"

Christian doesn't answer. He slowly places his hands on the bed and starts toward his wife, giving her no choice but to crawl backwards as he crawls on top of her. "I say we do something about that smart mouth."

After Ana allows her mercurial husband have his way with her, they both fall asleep in each other's arms.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian wakes with a jolt around three in the morning to Natalie's cries through the monitor. Ana wakes too and they both sit up in bed. Christian shuts the monitor off and convinces his wife to go back to sleep while he takes care of their daughter.

He walks into Natalie's room and immediately notices that it is too dark. The nightlight bulb had burned out and she had awakened to darkness. She is sitting up in bed and crying so loud that he is convinced that she is in pain. He picks her up and holds her in his arms, bouncing and shushing as he tries to calm her. She still cries even while in his arms. He kisses the side of her head a few times and fires up the iPod deck to listen to her music. When that doesn't work he sits on the glider while the music is still playing and sits her on his lap. He notices that she is holding her ear, and has been since the moment he lifted her up. He immediately thinks it is an ear infection.

"Baby, does your ear hurt?"

Natalie nods and continues to cry, tears springing out of her eyes. He kisses her head and lifts her into his arms again. He is able to locate the baby Motrin from one of the compartments under the changing table and sits on the glider again. He struggles to get her to take the medicine with the dropper, but eventually she takes it. He sets the medicine and dropper on the side table and cradles Natalie in his arms, rocking and patting her bottom like he did when she was a little baby and wouldn't settle when her gums were sore from teething. He knows that she is in pain but he cannot give her anything stronger until he has his mother or another doctor check her out. He will sort that out in a few hours when his mother is awake.

He continues to shush her, rock her and pat her and eventually her cries turn into whimpers. Her eyes flutter a few times and she moans steadily until she is able to fall asleep. Christian holds her for a little while longer to make sure she stays asleep. When he is satisfied, he gently tucks her back into bed. After replacing the bulb in the nightlight he sits in the glider again and watches her for a few minutes. He cannot stop doubting himself, but feels a small victory for being able to calm his two year old.

* * *

_**As always, thanks for the reviews. I apologize for not updating more often. I work a lot of hours during the week and try to write a little bit each day. I have plans for this story already but they don't include Elena or Leila. As for Caleb, I've been playing with the idea but I'm not sure yet. If I do decide to bring him back, it will be much later in the story. Christian and Phoebe will be close again. I've already outlined that chapter but other things need to happen first. Happy Reading!**_


	23. Fifty Plans

Christian's POV

What a week it's been. It is Thursday so the week is almost over. Natalie has had double ear infection. Ana and I took turns staying home with her so that we wouldn't have to take her out of the house. My mother came over on Sunday to check her out and it's a good thing she did. We've been giving her amoxicillin which has been working, but it is so heartbreaking to see her sick and in pain. Her little nose has been running and her cheeks have been a bright shade of pink. But despite that she is still so adorable. Once the medicine kicks in she would be so happy and smiley, sitting on the floor and playing with her toys. But then she would do a complete one eighty and not want anything to do with her toys. She would become whiny and clingy to me and Ana. I don't mind that part so much since that means she would cuddle with us.

Right now I have her on my lap in the TV room. We are watching Tangled. She had just taken a nap and I brought her down from her bedroom after changing her, washing her face and giving her more medicine. She didn't want to eat anything, which never goes over well with me. But since she hasn't been feeling well I have allowed her to eat her fruit in the TV room, as long as she sits on my lap and I can prevent her from making a mess. So far that deal I've made with my two year old is working. She is almost finished the fruit and the movie is nearly finished. Today is the first sign of her getting back to her old self, which means my plans for this weekend might just work out after all.

I pick up my blackberry and send text messages to my Mom and Kate to see if they are still willing to take the girls this weekend. They both respond within minutes and I can feel a big grin spread on my face. Teddy plops down on the couch right next to me and immediately grabs my attention.

"Son" I greet him with a smile.

"Hi Dad" he smiles back. "Hi Munchkin" he says to Natalie in a high pitched voice he only has for her. She reaches her arms out and leans in his direction for him to take her. He pulls her over into his lap and embraces her tightly while twisting his body back and forth and kissing the side of her face, making her giggle. The sound of my baby girl's giggle brings a tear to my eye. I love seeing her happy. Teddy kisses the top of her head and looks to me again. "How's she doing?"

"Much better" I say as I place her fruit bowel on the coffee table. "She ate all of her breakfast and lunch, and just now she ate most of her fruit. Seems her appetite is coming back." Natalie settles on Teddy's lap and continues to watch her movie as we continue our conversation. "How's Rebecca?"

"She's doing much better now that she's home. She can start therapy as early as next week." Teddy can't stop beaming at the topic of his girlfriend. She's been in a wheelchair for over two years now and they are finally getting to the point where she can start walking again.

I smile back at him. It is obvious how much he loves this girl, and I couldn't be happier for him. "That's great son. I'm very proud of you for everything you've done for her." Teddy just snorts and tries to brush it off as nothing, but I won't allow it. "No, I mean it. You really came through for her. You were young when the car accident happened. You had found out that her back injury would affect her ability to walk and that it could have been permanent. You could have walked away from her, but you didn't. You stuck by her."

"I didn't see any other way. I loved her. I still love her."

"I know you do" I say with the smile still spread on my face. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"No, actually I just came by to grab some more clothes. I'm going to stay with Rebecca this weekend while her Dad tends to business in Portland."

I miss my son, but his plans just happen to coincide with mine since my plans involve having Ana to myself all weekend. "Okay, Son. But we should plan to catch up soon. How 'bout you come home for dinner on Sunday night?"

"Sure, Dad." He lifts Natalie and puts her back on my lap after kissing her head again." Bye Munchkin." Her eyes never leave the TV since she is completely lost in what is happening in the movie. Teddy and I both laugh as we say our goodbyes.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana arrives home around five thirty and finds Natalie and me in my study. Since Natalie was playing nicely with her toys, I had decided to move her and her toys into my study so that I could get some work done. Ana walks in and is immediately welcomed by little arms wrapping around her legs.

"Mommy!"

"Hi Baby" she says while bending down and lifting her into her arms. She attacks her with kisses which makes our baby girl giggle. I walk around my desk and over to my girls.

"Hi Baby" I say softly to my wife and kiss her lips. She is still holding Natalie so of course that makes our baby girl giggle again. "How was your day?"

"Hectic" she sighs and pumps her body to push Natalie higher up onto her hip. "I had back to back meetings since I had to make up for the ones that I postponed this week. And I didn't want to take any meetings tomorrow."

I smile down at my beautiful wife and I know it is a greedy smile. "We still have our appointment with Dr Greene tomorrow?" Ana manages to smile back at me, but I can tell that the stress from the day hasn't escaped her body. I plan to do something about that later. She nods at me. "Good. I have something else in mind for tomorrow which will require you to take some PTO."

"Christian…." she tries to argue, but I stop her by bringing my index finger to her lips.

"No arguments. We've put off celebrating our anniversary, and this weekend I plan to collect."

She looks at Natalie and brushes her hair out of her face. "Christian, I don't know. Natalie's been sick…."

"And she'll be with the best doctor on the Pacific coast, hell the best doctor on the planet. Mom has agreed to take her this weekend. She'll get to spend time with Mia and Ethan and their kids. And Kate is ecstatic about having Phoebe for the weekend." I look at Ana hoping she warms to the idea, but she still looks unsure. I bring my hand to her cheek and she closes her eyes and leans her face into it. I start to caress her face with my thumb and she lets out a light moan. I'm not taking no for an answer, but it will be a lot easier if my wife is on board with this. I think I have her when she opens her eyes and looks into mine. Blue eyes stare passionately into gray as my fingers find her jaw. We are lost in each other until our baby girl reminds us that she is in the room with us.

"Mommy, diapy" she says, and the moment is over. Ana chuckles and pushes Natalie higher onto her hip again.

"I'm going to go change her. We'll pick this up later, Mr Grey."

"Looking forward to it" I call after her as she leaves my study. Yes, I think I've got her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After we finish dinner we bathe Natalie together and put her to bed. She went to sleep without a fuss, which is enough to convince Ana that she will be okay with my mother this weekend while we celebrate our anniversary. We relax in the TV room, Ana with her tea and me with my wine, and discuss plans for this weekend. I won't tell her what I have in mind, but discussing the children and security is top priority.

"I've given Taylor and Gail the day off tomorrow and Monday. They will be spending the weekend in Florida and they'll get to visit with Sophie" I tell her. That earns me some points as Ana puts her hand on my leg and starts to kiss and nibble on my ear.

"You're such a good boss" she whispers to me, and I can feel myself harden. I do my best to control myself since we need to wait up for Phoebe to come home before we turn in for the evening. We don't need to wait long as she has just arrived. She is still in her dance clothes and I notice she looks a bit troubled.

"Something on your mind?" I ask her. She sits in front of us on the coffee table and hands over a sheet of paper. I take it from her and lean up to rest my elbows on my knees.

"Can you sign this?" she asks me softly. I look at her puzzled and then at the contents on the sheet. You would think she is handing me a poor report card by the way she is acting. But this is nothing like that. This is a permission slip for her to volunteer at the hospital part time in the fall. I notice that Ana isn't even remotely interested in what I am reading. She is not leaning toward me to read it and she is not asking me about it. She must already know about this. I can feel my anger build at the thought that my daughter tried to go behind my back and ask her mother about this first. I look over at my wife and hold up the sheet.

"Did you know about this?"

Ana doesn't deny it. But that doesn't mean she is entirely off the hook. I will need to relieve my twitchy palm once we turn in for the evening. I look back at my daughter. "You knew I would say no about this so you thought you'd ask your mother behind my back?" I accuse her, and she doesn't deny it.

"Christian, take it easy. It wasn't like that" Ana cuts in, and that doesn't help my anger.

"It wasn't like that?" I repeat her. "What was it like then? I was home every night this week."

"Dad, I did ask Mom first" Phoebe says sheepishly. Why is she so afraid to talk to me? "She said it was a decision that you need to make together."

I look at Ana and she nods. I look back at the paper and read more of its contents. She would be volunteering three days a week for two hours after school. I don't like this and I'm inclined to say no. I look over at Ana again and shake my head. And then I look at Phoebe. "No. I don't think this is a good idea."

"Mom?" Phoebe asks in a whiny voice. I hate it when she whines.

"Your father and I will discuss it, but it will be a decision that we both make." Ana looks at me and gives me a warning look. I can feel my mouth turn into a hard line.

"That's so unfair" Phoebe snaps and starts to pace around the room. "Dad has already made up his mind. Why won't you let me do this?"

I stand so that I'm not sitting below my daughter's eye level. "Phoebe, this is your senior year. You'll have a ton of school work and you'll have dance classes. This will just add to the already hectic schedule that you'll have."

"Then I'll give up dance" she offers quickly.

_What?_ "No you won't" I growl, but I don't mean to sound so cold. I don't like when people question my decisions, but I can tell that Phoebe is not ready to let this go.

"I'll have more than enough credits this year where I can take a study hall" she argues. "I can do my school work then and have plenty of time for volunteering and dance classes."

"The answer is no, end of discussion!" I growl again, and I can feel my anger start to grow into rage. This is dangerous territory and I know I need to control this. I reach up and run both of my hands through my hair.

"You just need to control everything" she argues, and I know that she is angry enough now where she will just start to say things just to hurt me. "You don't want me to do this but to hell with what I want."

"Watch your language!" I yell, and Ana moves to stand between us. "Phoebe, you are trying my patience. If you continue to argue with me you can say goodbye to your date with Trevor tomorrow night."

"You can't do that" she argues. When did she become so brave? Just a few minutes ago she was so small and sheepish while trying to talk to me. She must really want this. But I'm sure it's for the wrong reasons. I'm not backing down, but she needs to unless she wants punishment.

"Yes I can. Now….." I stop and rub my face roughly with my hands. "I need you to stop arguing with me and I need you to go pack for the weekend. You are having a sleep over with Ava."

I can see the confusion in my daughter's face. We go from fighting to me allowing her to stay with Ava for the weekend. If it weren't for my plans for Ana this weekend I wouldn't allow it. She would be staying home. But Ana and I need this. I know a further explanation is in order. "Trevor can drop you off at Escala tomorrow after your date. You'll still have a ten thirty curfew. And Dovis will pick you up on Sunday afternoon and bring you home."

Phoebe still looks confused and looks her at her mother for confirmation. Ana offers a nod. "Go ahead, Baby. I'll be up shortly and help you pack."

Phoebe leaves the room but the tension remains. I know Ana is angry with me for the way I handled things with Phoebe. But I am also angry with Ana for keeping this from me. "What am I going to do with you, Mrs Grey?"

Ana slowly walks over to me and positions herself right in front of me, but she doesn't touch me. She shakes her head. "Oh Mr Grey. That was really bad. Really really bad. When are you ever going to learn to control your temper where Phoebe is concerned?"

I start to pout. I did lose my temper. I look down in the paper that's in my hand and frown. "I don't want her to do this."

Ana takes the paper from me, folds it and tucks it behind her in her skirt. "We can discuss that later. And we _will_ discuss it. Calmly. You'll get your say and I'll get mine."

I manage to grin at my wife's level headedness and I wrap my arms around her waist, slowly to make sure that she is okay with it. She doesn't pull away from me. "I'm sorry for losing my temper" I say softly. "I don't know why I can't seem to get it right with her."

Ana leans up and rubs her nose against mine. "I know she's a challenge." I'm surprised when she kisses my lips softly. I close my eyes and start to feel my body relax a bit. She stops kissing me and we look into each other's eyes again. "I'm going to go help her pack. And then you and I can settle our differences in bed."

I start to get hard again. My god, what this woman does to me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I'm lying in bed a few hours later with my arms wrapped around Ana. I'm tired and sated but I can't seem to find sleep. We've spent two good hours 'settling our differences' as she calls it. First she let me spank her. I almost couldn't believe it when she asked me because she knew how angry I was. I was immediately turned on when she said those words to me. "Spank me Christian, please". I wasn't about to deny her that, but I did torture her by undressing her very slowly before placing her over my knee, and then I continued the torture by planting soft kisses down her back, caressing her fine ass and asking her questions before delivering the punishment. The slow torture was well worth it because she came instantly just after a few hard slaps. She returned the favor by massaging me and taking me in her mouth. I don't know why it still surprises me when she doesn't pull away before I come in her mouth. I then had her restrained while I pleasured her. I wouldn't allow her to move as I slowly went down on her, kissing and sucking. I still love what I can do to her body even after all these years. I will never get my fill of her.

Afterward I made good on my promise from earlier and massaged her shoulders, her back, her legs and her feet, working to push the tension from the work day out of her body. It seemed to have worked because she was relaxed enough to find sleep. Before she was out she mumbled something to me about apologizing to Phoebe in the morning since we won't see her again until Sunday evening. Perhaps that is why I am having trouble sleeping. I don't enjoy fighting with my daughter. In fact I hate it. I want her to be safe and happy, and I want to get along with her. But sometimes my fifty shades gets in the way of that. I sigh and kiss my wife's hair. I then bring my hand down to her pregnancy belly. What if this baby is another girl? Am I going to have the same battles with Natalie and this child that I have with Phoebe? I kiss my wife's hair again and slowly climb out of bed. I check on Phoebe and Natalie to make sure they are sleeping before I make my way down the stairs and into the library. I sit at the piano bench, close my eyes and just start to play what comes to mind.


	24. Fifty Weekend

Christian wakes slowly to Ana stroking his unruly hair. His arms and legs are wrapped around her and his head is on her chest. He has her trapped, and she didn't want to wake him by getting out of bed without him.

He smiles at her as his eyes flutter open. "Good morning"

"Good morning yourself" she says warmly. "Sleep okay?"

He lightly sighs and closes his eyes. "I always sleep well with you. You know that." Ana rolls her eyes, knowing that he wasn't in bed with her the entire night. "I know you are rolling your eyes at me" he says with his eyes still closed and his head rested on her chest. "Do you really want to start our weekend off helping me relieve my twitchy palm?"

Ana smiles at the delicious threat. "As long as we can use those balls" she says as she strokes his hair again. He leans up and roughly kisses her lips.

"Behave, Mrs Grey." He climbs out of bed and she checks him out as he disappears into their bathroom. Even at forty nine he is still very much her young and fit fifty in nothing but his boxer shorts. She climbs out of bed and joins him in their bathroom. She finds him shaving, so she washes her face and they both brush their teeth together. When they are finished Christian pulls his wife into his arms and roughly kisses her again. "Good Morning" he says again and pushes himself up against her suggestively.

A big smile spreads across Ana's face. "It is a good morning in deed. Shouldn't we wait until after the kids are gone?"

Christian looks at his watch and then back at his wife. "I suppose we should. We need to meet with Dr Greene at ten. And then I have you all to myself, Mrs Grey." He starts to trail kisses along her jaw and down her neck, making her giggle. He moves the strap of her silk night gown to the side and plants kisses on her shoulder.

"Christian, if you keep this up we won't ever leave the bedroom."

"And what would be so wrong about that" he asks seductively. Ana pushes him away and playfully slaps his chest.

"Christian. I need to get Natalie up. And since Gail has the day off I need to make breakfast."

"Penny is taking care of breakfast" he says.

Ana turns to look at him. "You have everything figured out, haven't you?" This earns her a big grin. "Good, while I'm getting Natalie ready you can go and talk with our other daughter. I meant what I said. I think you should apologize to her so she's not brooding all weekend."

Christian's grin fades and he nods. He scratches his head as he thinks about what he will say to her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian walks into the kitchen to find Phoebe already sitting at the breakfast bar eating oatmeal. The scent of coffee starts to fill the kitchen and he is pleased that Penny had started the coffee. Normally Gail would be on hand for breakfast and Penny would take care of other household responsibilities. Gail had given her the run down on how the Greys' morning routine with breakfast worked as she will be standing in for her today and Monday while Gail is in Florida.

Christian pours himself some orange juice and joins Phoebe at the breakfast bar. He watches her for a moment while he struggles with what he wants to say. He's never been good at apologizing, but at this moment he really wants to. But words fail him. He feels crushed when Phoebe rises from the breakfast bar and places her dishes in the sink. It seems he has run out of time, but he is surprised when Phoebe approaches him first with an apology.

"Dad, I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to make you angry." Even though she has been the brave one in speaking first, her voice is weak and almost a whisper. But Christian could hear every word. "This is just something I want to do" she says with a little more confidence. "And it made me mad when you turned it down without giving it any thought."

Christian lightly sighs and his mouth forms into a line. He is surprised and proud that she apologized first. He thinks about what she had said and he nods.

"Mom and I will discuss it" he says. "We will give it some thought and we'll let you know what we decide." Phoebe accepts this with a nod and starts to walk away, but he calls out to her before she is able to leave the kitchen entirely. "Phoebe." She turns and looks at him. He motions for her to come back and she obeys. She stands a few feet away from him at the breakfast bar as he is still seated on his stool. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for losing my temper. I don't want you to go behind my back because you are afraid of my temper or you're afraid that I'll say no to something. Mom and I are a team and whatever it is that you want or need, we'll decide together. Okay?"

She nods again and this time she is able to offer a small grin. "Okay. Thanks Dad."

"Have a good time tonight with Trevor. And remember, ten thirty curfew."

He smiles after she leaves the room, feeling a small victory for doing something he absolutely dreads. Apologizing.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian and Ana meet with Dr Greene as scheduled and are happy to hear that Ana is doing very well. Christian has been on edge since losing his temper the previous evening but he's been able to hide that from his wife, until they get to the point in the appointment where Dr Greene asks if they want to know the sex of their baby.

"Wait" Ana answers before Christian can say anything. They had discussed finding out the sex of this baby since they were surprised with their first three, but Ana is having a change of heart.

Dr Greene removes her glasses and looks over at the couple for confirmation. "Would you like to know?"

"Yes, yes we would" Christian snaps, which causes Ana to glance at him with confusion.

"Ana?" Dr Greene asks again?

"Um, I don't want to know" she says and shakes her head, which causes Christian to glance at her with confusion. Ana looks back at him with a guilty grin.

Dr Greene looks back and forth between the two and puts her glasses back on. "Tell you what. I will write down the sexes of the babies and seal them in an envelope. That way if you change your mind, you can open it." She prepares the paper and envelope as Ana and Christian look at each other with shock.

Christian clears his throat. "Excuse me, Dr Greene. Did you say babies, plural?"

Dr Greene smiles at the couple and removes her glasses again. "That's right. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Grey. You are having twins." Dr Greene is professional in the tone she is using, but inside she is bursting with excitement to be able to deliver this news to patients she's had for over twenty years and has delivered three babies to.

Christian and Ana both gasp. Once the shock sets in Ana starts to squeal with excitement. Christian runs his hand through his hair and can't contain his shock. He looks at the screen as Dr Greene points out each twin and explains that they are fraternal. Ana observes the screen as tears roll down her face. Christian's hands are tightly gripped to the back of her chair, as if he's holding on for dear life.

"Twins" he says nervously. Ana turns her head to look at him. She can see the shock and fear in his face but the excitement never leaves hers. She pulls his arm so that he will need to walk around her chair to stand next to her.

"Christian, we're having twins. This is such happy news." She reaches her arm around him to hug him and he has to grab onto the chair to stop himself from falling on top of her.

"I will give you some time alone, and then come back and print some pictures" Dr  
Greene says as she leaves the room.

Christian leans up from the chair once he regains his footing. Ana notices that he is troubled by this and her smile fades as she takes in the worried look on his face. She worries that he is not happy about this, and it takes her back to when she told him she was pregnant with Teddy. She starts to pout. "Christian, please say something." Christian leaves go of the chair, looks away from her and runs his hand through his hair again. He closes his eyes and lets out a hard sigh. "Christian" she says, and this time her voice trembles.

"I'm sorry baby, I just wasn't expecting this."

Ana shakes her head as tears start to spring out of her eyes. "You're not happy about this."

Christian is snapped out of his shock when he sees his wife start to cry. He shakes his head and takes her hands into his. "No, no no baby that's not it." He pushes her legs aside so that she would need to bend her knees and he sits on the examining chair with her. "Please don't cry." He reaches up and gently wipes her tears with his thumb. "I will be happy about this, as soon as I get over the surprise and shock. Fuck, Ana, Twins!"

Ana manages to giggle as more tears roll down her cheek. She reaches up and dries some more of them as she sniffles. "We were shocked to have one baby, and now we're going to have two."

"We're going to be a family of seven. Five kids Ana. Wow!" He puts his hand over his forehead as he continues to wrap his head around the news.

"Wow" she repeats him in a soft whisper.

Christian takes both of her hands in his again and leans in closer. "I'm sorry Ana. This is supposed to be good news, and instead of being excited about it….."

"What?" she tries to coax him when he shakes his head.

"I'm scared" he says softly.

"What are you scared of?"

Christian brings his head down to her hands and kisses them. "What I'm always scared of. Losing you. Losing one of our kids. Failing as a husband. Failing as a father."

Ana releases one of her hands from his and caresses his face. "You're not going to lose me. You are not going to lose our kids. And you need to stop doubting yourself. I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it, you are a wonderful father, Christian. Teddy knows that, Phoebe knows that, Natalie knows that…." She brings his hand to her pregnancy belly and has him spread his fingers over the small bump. "And these babies will know that too."

Christian looks at his hand that is covering her bump and then closes his eyes. He inhales and exhales slowly as he lets the news of twins set in. "Twins" he says again and offers a small smile. His face is full of both happiness and emotion when he opens his eyes.

Ana smiles and caresses his face again. "That's right, Grey. Apparently not just one but two of my eggs were no match for your sperm."

This causes Christian to laugh. "You think that's funny?"

Ana laughs along with him. "Yes, I think it's very funny. Kiss me" she says seriously after she stops laughing.

Christian takes his time and plants a long sweet kiss on her lips. When he pulls away from her he looks into her eyes. "I love you Anastasia."

Ana smiles lightly. "I love you too Christian. All fifty shades of you."

Christian smiles big at her as Dr Greene walks back into the room. "Ready for pictures?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Friday evening finds Christian and Ana sitting in bed eating chicken stir fry that Ana had made. Christian assisted with cutting vegetables but kept finding himself distracted by his hot wife moving around the kitchen. Ana noticed that his eyes kept wandering and took the knife out of his hands, fearing he would cut himself. He busied himself by planting kisses on her shoulder and neck as she cooked and rubbing his hands up and down her body. Ana tried resisting his advances, but Christian was relentless. He was able to take her twice while she was cooking dinner, once on the kitchen counter and once on the floor.

They have finally made it to their bed to enjoy their dinner, and Ana giggles at the memory.

"Something amusing you, Mrs Grey?"

Ana swallows and smiles at him. "You always amuse me, Mr Grey."

"Do I now?"

"Yes, you do" she leans over from her side of the bed and kisses his lips. "All the time."

"And what about me is amusing?"

Ana takes another mouthful of food before answering. "You want a list?"

Christian starts to look amused. "Please"

"Okay, well, there's your lack of culinary skills, your inability to keep your hands off of your pregnant wife while she's trying to cook for four…" she points down at her pregnancy bump as she says it. "You are quite the insatiable one." She takes another forkful of food into her mouth and can feel his eyes on her.

"You know I'll never get my fill of you. You said there was a list. I believe a list includes more than two items."

Ana smiles. "The way you freaked out in Dr Greene's office."

"I did not freak out" he tries to defend himself, but Ana just giggles at him. "You're on thin ice Mrs Grey. Keep going."

"The way you are with our kids, and the way you will be with these babies. I love how you get on the floor and play with them. I love seeing the playful side of you when you read to them, and tickle them, and throw them up in the air and attack them with kisses and raspberries."

Christian puts his plate aside and leans onto her side of the bed. "Maybe I should throw you up in the air, tickle you and attack you with raspberries." He starts to plant kisses on her cheek and she giggles again. "I love that sound. So beautiful Anastasia" he says softly before he nibbles on her ear. He takes her plate from her, puts it aside and then moves so that he is partially on top of her. He starts to kiss her lips, and she parts hers to allow his tongue to invade her mouth. Their tongues soon start their dance as he runs his hand up and down her body. "Still hungry, Mrs Grey?"

"Very" she says breathlessly. They both sit up and remove each other's clothes. She starts with unbuttoning and removing his shirt, planting kisses on his chest as she drags the shirt down his arms. He finds the hem of her dress and lifts it over her head. He then plants kisses down her neck, her shoulder and then her chest before removing her bra. Pretty soon they are both naked, touching, kissing, sucking, blowing, massaging, heaving breathing and connecting in there absolute favorite way.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

They lie in bed together and find themselves doing something they do very often, discussing their kids.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks while her left hand is playing with his right.

"Of course."

"Why are you so against Phoebe volunteering at the hospital this fall?"

Christian pauses for a moment before he answers. "I don't want it interfering with her school work."

"Are you sure that's the only reason?"

There is another pause before Christian answers, but they continue to play with each other's hands. "That's not the only reason."

Ana looks over at her overprotective husband. "Tell me"

Christian leans up on his elbow so he is facing his wife. "They have her spending time with this kid, Danny Preston. He has cancer."

"I know. She told me."

"She's so fragile Ana. If this kid dies….."

"You can't think that way Christian" she interrupts him.

"I don't want her to get hurt" he says sternly, but Ana isn't affected by his sudden change of tone.

"I know you don't. But before you make this decision I think you should find out why she wants to do this."

Christian cocks his head to the side. "Has she told you why?"

Ana looks at him and nods. "Yes she has."

Christian raises an eyebrow. "Well, aren't you going to tell me?"

"No"

"Ana?" he almost whines.

"This is something you need to hear from her, Christian. Trust me on this one."

Christian pouts. "I don't like it when you keep things from me."

"Oh, don't even"

"Don't even what?" he challenges her, and she shakes her head while she smirks at him. "Are you smirking at me?"

"That I am."

"I will torture it out of you if I have to." His whole demeanor has changed and he is no longer pouting. He is now looking at her greedily, wanting answers and wanting to tease it out of her.

"Bring it on, Grey."

Christian disappears into their closet and brings back their favorite gray tie along with some of his other ties and items that she cannot see. Ana watches with excitement as he approaches her.

"Famous last words Mrs Grey?" She tries to keep a straight face and shakes her head. A smile starts to spread on his face and he slowly climbs onto the bed. "I am going to restrain you and blindfold you. There will be no safewords." He carefully covers her eyes with the grey tie and ties it securely to the side of her head. "If it becomes too much for you, I'll only stop if you tell me why Phoebe wants to volunteer."

"Must you bring Phoebe into this" she sighs dramatically as he checks her blindfold to make sure she cannot see.

"You have a secret. And I intend to tease it out of you Mrs Grey." He has her relax her head on the pillow and ties each wrist to the bedposts. Once she is restrained he climbs off of the bed to look at her. She is wearing a purple silk lingerie dress with no panties. He is just wearing his boxers.

"Enjoying the view" she asks, knowing that he is staring at her.

"Very much. But I think I'd enjoy it more, from here." He slowly climbs onto the bed again and crawls up between her legs. He has a feather in his hand and starts to gently glide of over the skin of her thigh. She giggles and writhes as he does it. "Still, Mrs Grey. Do you know what this is?"

Ana smiles as he continues the torture with her other thigh. "A feather."

"Smart girl." He takes another object and repeats the same trail up her thigh. She gasps but is able to keep still. "And this?"

"An ice cube" she says breathlessly.

"That it is." He leans down and follows the trail of water that the ice cube has left on her thigh with his tongue. He then repeats the torture on her other thigh. Ana's breathing starts to pick up but she continues to work to keep still. He takes another object and places it next to her neck, then slowly drags it down her body.

"Beads" she says with a smile. Her breath catches when he drags it over her belly and then over her sex. Christian smiles, leans down and places a kiss on her sex and she writhes again, not expecting it. He grabs her thighs and holds them in place as he kisses and sucks. "Christian!" she cries as she gets close. He stops and then runs the ice cube over where his mouth was just giving her pleasure and she can no longer control herself. Christian revels in watching her orgasm. Once her body comes down he lies next to her and plants kisses on her cheek, her jaw and then her neck as she catches her breath.

"Do you have something to tell me Mrs Grey?"

Ana continues to catch her breath as she lies in bed, still restrained and blindfolded. "As always, mind blowing Mr Grey. But you still need to talk to your daughter."

"Is that right?" he asks as he plants kisses on her shoulder.

"Talk to her, Christian. You won't be sorry."

Christian thinks this over for a moment and decides that maybe this is something he should hear from Phoebe. He plants another kiss on her shoulder and then removes her blindfold. When she opens her eyes the first thing she sees is her gorgeous husband smiling down at her. "Hi"

"Hi yourself" she smiles back at him.

Christian makes quick work to untie her wrists and massages them. After some vanilla he lays behind her, pulls her to him and breaths in her scent. "Sleep well my beautiful pregnant sexy wife."

* * *

_**Thank you so much for the reviews. They are definitely a delight to read and they make me feel great about writing this. I have a lot of ideas and I hope you liked the surprise in this chapter. Happy Reading!**_


	25. Fifty Bubble

Ana wakes the next morning to find her husband relaxing against a few pillows and staring at the framed sonogram picture of their twins. She rolls onto her side to look at the photo with him.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" he asks her softly.

Ana gently runs her knuckles up and down his bare arm. "It's really happening."

"Do twins run in your family?"

Ana runs her index finger over his bicep in circular motions. "Mm, I don't think so. Not on Carla's side anyway."

Christian continues to stare at the picture with wonderment. "I wonder if twins run in my family."

Ana looks up at his face and starts to worry about him. Any mention of his biological family has always been a sore subject. She decides to change the subject. "When should we tell the kids?"

"As soon as possible. I don't want to chance them finding out by hearing us talking about it. Let's think of a clever way to tell them." Ana smiles at her husband. He is excited about this. This is a very good sign. She moves closer to him and snuggles into his chest. He welcomes her into his arms and breathes in the scent of her hair. He then kisses her hair. "How about a bath and then breakfast?"

"Who will cook breakfast?" Ana asks with her head still rested against his chest.

"You, wench, if you want our breakfast to be edible."

"Fair point well made, Mr Grey."

Ana yelps when he playfully slaps her bottom. "Stealing my lines, Mrs Grey?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

After their bath they bring breakfast into their bedroom and eat in bed. They have bacon, eggs and pancakes in one big plate to share, a glass of milk and tea for Ana and orange juice and coffee for Christian. Christian faces Ana on their bed and takes turns feeding her and himself. But at some points he skips himself and feeds more to Ana.

"Eat up, Mrs Grey. The babies need the food."

"Mm this is so good" she says as she finishes chewing some of the pancakes. She had used a new recipe for the pancake mix.

"These are good" Christian agrees. "But not as good as pancakes that I can eat off of you."

"We already took a bath" she says before he holds another forkful up for her to eat.

"We have a whole day and a half to ourselves, Mrs Grey. Plenty of time for more baths." Ana laughs and watches her husband put the plate aside. "Lie back" he commands softly. She does as she's told and relaxes her head on some pillows. She watches as Christian lifts her shirt and places a few pieces of pancake saturated with syrup on her pregnancy bump. She tries to suppress her laughter but she is unsuccessful. Some of the syrup drips over her belly. Christian is able to stop the syrup from hitting the sheets when he leans down and licks the syrup. Ana continues to giggle.

"Are you laughing at me Mrs Grey?"

"That tickles, Christian."

Christian looks Ana in the eye and takes a piece of pancake into his mouth. "That's more like it. Tastes delicious of pancakes, and syrup, and Ana. Would you like some?"

"Yes, please." Christian takes a piece and places it into Ana's mouth. They stare into each other's eyes as she chews. "I'm thirsty."

Christian takes a glass of water from the bedside table and drinks some of it. He then leans down and shares some with his wife. "Better?"

"Much"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After breakfast, Christian and Ana lie in bed together propped up on several pillows. Ana's head is on Christian's chest and he is rubbing his hand up and down her back. They've been lying together in silence and just enjoying their bubble, something that doesn't happen very often with their demanding schedules with two CEO positions and three kids.

Christian gently kisses the top of her head. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asks her.

Ana hesitates for a moment before she answers. "I've been thinking about something."

"What is it Baby?"

Ana leans up on her elbow so that she can look at her husband. "I've been thinking about retiring from Grey Publishing." Christian continues to rub his hand over her shoulder blades as he stares ahead and tosses this idea around in his head. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Christian scrunches his lips and nods. "I think that's a fantastic idea. What made you think of it?"

Ana rests her head on his chest again. "Well, with the twins coming, I'll have three babies to care for during the day. I'm sure Natalie gets tired of me dragging her to work with me every day. I know she'll start preschool soon but that's only for part of the day." Christian continues to rub Ana's back while she further explains. "The kids will have more of my attention, and I'll have some time to write a book."

"You've always wanted to write a book" Christian points out.

"And now I can" she leans up again so that she can look at him. "I'm just afraid of letting go of Grey Publishing. Not only was it a gift from you, but it's been the job I've had my entire adult life."

Christian repositions himself so that he is lying on his side and leaning up on his elbow. Ana does the same to mirror him. "I don't want you to be afraid of letting go of Grey Publishing" he says softly. He reaches over and gently runs his fingers up and down her arm. "If you recall, I never wanted you to work in the first place."

"Yes, I remember."

"But my beautiful, sexy yet stubborn wife refused to sit around on her fine ass all day." This makes Ana giggle as he moves his hand down to her backside and squeezes. "You wanted to work in publishing, and I wanted you to have your own publishing house. I was happy to give it to you."

Christian brings his hand back up in between them and they start playing with each other's hand. "I was terrified when you wanted me to be CEO of my own company. That was never something that I wanted."

Christian looks at her quizzically. "And now?"

Ana shrugs her shoulders. "I like being CEO. I like having reign to make decisions about authors and contracts. I like being hands on and reading and discussing the manuscripts that my employees feel strongly about having published. If I let it go, I'll miss it terribly."

Christian reaches up and brushes a few strands of hair off of Ana's face. "I know you will, Baby. But if you stay, you won't have the opportunity to be home with our three youngest. And you won't have the opportunity to write your book."

Ana looks at Christian suspiciously. "You want me to stay home."

Christian smiles. "Yes. I do. But I also want you happy. I think this will be good for you. And, if in a few years from now you want to go back into publishing, it will be all yours again."

Now Ana looks at him quizzically. "What do you mean it will be all mine again. What will become of Grey Publishing if I walk away?"

Christian smiles at her again. "You will still be CEO. But I will handle the business side of it, and we will hire someone to assume the operations side of it."

"Won't that be too much for you, heading Grey Publishing and Grey Enterprise Holdings? I'd like for you to be home with us for some parts of the day."

Christian leans over and plants a kiss on her forehead. "Don't worry. This won't take time away from my family. I'll manage. Next week we can start working on finding someone to head operations."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After lunch, Christian and Ana call their family to check on their kids. They call Grace and Carrick first and find out that Natalie and Sophie are both taking naps. Ana has tears in her eyes as she listens to Grace rave about how well behaved Natalie has been. Christian can't help but laugh at her. He knows that her hormones are acting up. They learn that Grace, Carrick and Ethan will be taking the kids to the park after their naps.

"We packed some sunscreen with her diaper bag" Christian says to his mother, clearly sending the message that they should be sure to use it. "There is also a hat and sunglasses in her overnight bag. I'll send Collins to be with them at the park."

Grace, being used to her son's controlling tendencies, just simply rolls her eyes and complies with everything he tells her. After they hang up they make their next call to Kate and Elliot. Elliot answers the phone and they can hear Cameron crying in the background. Elliot is only able to tell them that the girls are doing fine and that they plan to go shopping with Kate and Mia at some point. He hangs up the phone and Ana giggles.

Christian does not look amused that his brother disconnected the call. "What was that about?"

Ana is still giggling. "I don't know. Kate must be out somewhere. Forget about it. What would you like to do today?"

Christian's mood immediately changes. "I'd like to take you shopping. We can get some baby things and some maternity clothes." Ana nods and is welcomed into Christian's arms. "Have I told you that I love you today?" he asks her softly.

Ana stretches her head back to look up at him. "You tell me that everyday Christian. Every day you make me feel like the luckiest woman alive."

With that he plants a soft sweet kiss on her lips. "I am the luckiest man alive. Come." He takes her hand. "Come shopping with me, Mrs Grey."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian takes Ana to a few stores and helps her pick out some maternity clothes that she can wear to work for the few weeks she will still go into the office and some things that she can wear outside of work. He also helps her pick out some silk and satin night gowns. Ana picks up some sweats to wear around the house and they also pick up some things for the kids.

"Should we get some things for Teddy for when he goes back to school?" Ana asks. No matter how old he gets, Ana will not stop being his mother. She picks up a long sleeved shirt and observes it. Christian looks at the shirt and then at her.

"We can, but don't you think Teddy would like to pick out his own clothes?"

Ana glares at him for a moment. "What, you don't think I'm cool enough to pick out my son's clothes?"

Christian smirks at her. "Oh, I think you're very cool, Mrs Grey." He positions himself behind her and puts his hands on her hips and brings his face down next to hers. "And I think our son would appreciate a cool shirt from his cool mother."

"Fine, we won't get the shirt." She puts the shirt back on the rack and pouts. "Do you think our kids find us uncool?"

Christian positions himself in front of her now. "No, I don't think so. I think we're pretty lucky in that two of our kids are teenagers and can stand to be in the same room as us." He kisses the top of her head. "Why don't you get the shirt? I think Teddy will love it."

"Are you saying that just to placate me?"

Christian sighs and remembers that he needs to choose his battles with Ana's hormones. "No. I'm saying it because I don't think we can get things for the girls without getting something for Teddy."

Ana nods and accepts that answer. They pay for the shirt and an outfit that Ana picked out for Phoebe. Next they venture into a children's shop where they pick out some cute outfits for Natalie and some baby clothes that are designed to suit baby boys or girls, since they had decided not to learn the sexes of their babies. Christian sees Ana's eyes tear up a few times as she observes the tiny onesies and pajamas.

"It's hard to believe they were every this little" she says softly as Christian stands next to her and looks down at the tiny outfit in her hands.

"That they were." Christian gently runs his fingers through the fabric. "I remember holding each of them when they were born. I could never forget that feeling. I'm so glad we get to do it again." Ana starts to tear up some more. She brings the back of her hand up to dry her tears. "You're tired" Christian says. "Let's pay for these and then we can go home."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Once at home, Christian and Ana decide on heated mac and cheese for dinner. It is quick and easy, which is ideal since Ana is tired. Christian helps her up the steps and helps her get ready for bed. Once she is settled he sits at the foot of the bed and takes his time massaging her feet. Ana smiles and moans with appreciation and pleasure as he is careful to cover every inch of her feet, ankles, shins and calves. She fights for a bit to keep her eyes open, but soon sleep finds her and she is out. Christian smiles when he sees that she is asleep for the night and climbs into bed beside her. He pulls the blanket over them and pulls her into his arms, breathing in the scent of her hair before closing his eyes and finding sleep.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The next morning, Ana wakes to find that Christian is not sleeping beside her. She looks over at the clock and is surprised to see that it is already eleven. She panics for a moment until she realizes it is Sunday, and Natalie is still with the Greys. She didn't fail to get up for Natalie, but she starts to feel guilty that Christian got up without her. She hears the shower and quickly climbs out of bed.

She walks into their bathroom and can see that Christian is in the shower. She immediately strips, walks over to the shower and slowly slides the door open. Christian isn't facing her, but when he feels her presence he turns around. He is open mouthed as he looks her up and down, giving her permission to enter with his eyes. She enters the shower and he slides the door shut. After looking greedily at each other for a few breaths they move in closer and put their hands on each other, kissing as the shower water pours down over their bodies. Christian picks up the soapy loofah and gently washes Ana's body as they continue to kiss. He washes her hair as she washes him. After she washes his hair, he pushes her up against the shower wall and they are nose to nose, staring into each other's eyes. After lifting her leg over his hip he enters her, first moving slowly in and out. After a while he picks up the pace and pounds into her until she comes. He follows and holds her as they slide down to sit on the shower floor together. They are both out of breath as Christian starts to laugh.

"Something amusing you Mr Grey?" Ana asks breathlessly.

Christian puts his fingers under her chin and looks her in the eye. "You, Mrs Grey are the best wakeup call there is." He leans in and kisses her again.

Once their energy is back they stand, turn the water off and leave the shower. Christian wraps a towel around Ana and then grabs one for himself. They face each other again and Christian puts his hands on her hips.

"Thank you for this weekend" she says to him softly. "I love our bubble, but I miss our kids."

Christian leans down and kisses her, and then leans his forward against hers. "Me too. I like being parents with you, Ana. Thank you for giving me this family."

"Our family" she says as they continue to relax their foreheads against each other. "There's something else I'd like to do today before they come home."

Christian smiles. "What's that?"

Ana smiles back. "Pajama movie day."

Christian stands up straight and looks up as he thinks about this. Pajama movie day is something they do with their kids if they have to stay home from school sick, but they rarely ever get movie time together. "Okay. You pick the movies. I get to pick out the pajamas."

Ana giggles and is led out of the bathroom.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Later on, Phoebe walks into the kitchen and is greeted by her mother's open arms.

"Hi Baby, did you have a good time at Aunt Kate's?"

Phoebe hugs her mother back and then releases her. "Yes. Aunt Kate took us shopping yesterday. Check out this new nail polish Ava has." She shows her mother her nails and smiles at her. "We did our toenails too."

"That's great, Honey. I'm glad you had fun."

"Um, can Ava spend the weekend next week? We were thinking maybe we can have sleep overs more often."

Ana smiles at her daughter. Phoebe and Ava have been close since they were in diapers, but Phoebe's anxiety about being away from her parents for an extended amount of time prevented her from sleeping over at Ava's. That has changed since the beginning of the summer when she went on the road trip with Trevor. Although Ana isn't thrilled that she did that, maybe something good did come out of it. She nods and then adds "it's okay with me as long as it's okay with your father."

Phoebe bites her lip. She doesn't like asking her father for things lately. She decides to change the subject. "Can I help with dinner?"

"Sure" Ana says cheerfully. "But first your father would like to speak with you. He's upstairs changing Natalie if you want to go see him." After some silence she looks at her daughter and sees that she's reluctant. She is biting her lip again. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. Go on up and talk with him."

Phoebe obeys and leaves the room. When she reaches Natalie's bedroom she stands outside the door and watches as Christian blows raspberries on her stomach. Natalie laughs and squeals as he does it. She can remember him doing that to her anytime she was down about something. It always made her laugh. She's definitely too old for that now. She is able to keep her presence unknown until he stands Natalie up and she spots her.

"Phoebe!" she shouts excitedly and throws her arms up in the air. Christian zips up her footsy pajamas and lifts her into his arms. He turns and sees Phoebe in the doorway and smiles at her.

"Good, you're home" he says as he puts Natalie down.

"Mom said you wanted to see me" she says as she takes a few steps into the room.

"Yes, have a seat" he says and points to Natalie's bed. "Natalie, play with your toys while I talk to Phoebe." He walks over and sits on the bed, and Natalie follows him over.

"Daddy, sit on you lap" she says and pouts.

Christian gently puts his hand under her chin to get her to stop pouting. "You can sit on my lap when we go downstairs. Play tea party with Belle and your Baby Doll." Natalie obeys and plays with the little table in the corner of her bedroom which has a tea play set.

Christian faces Phoebe and sees that she is not in the mood to talk with him, but he decides to ignore it. "Did you have a good time with Ava?"

This takes Phoebe by surprise. She shrugs her shoulders as she answers. "Yeah, I did."

"What kind of stuff did you do?"

Phoebe shakes her head, clearly confused about where he is going with this. "Girly… stuff."

Christian closes his eyes and remembers that he needs to keep his temper in check. "Phoebe, I'm asking about your weekend. I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't interested. Tell me what kind of stuff you did."

Phoebe nods and smirks. "Aunt Kate took us shopping. She showed us where Aunt Mia's boutique is going to be."

"Did she now?"

"Yeah, Aunt Mia was there and she showed us around. She offered Ava a part time job this fall since she wants to learn about fashion."

"Is that right? And that's not something you want." It was a statement, not a question, and Phoebe starts to get annoyed.

"Well no, I told you what I want to do."

"Yes you did" he says as he pulls a sheet of paper out of his back pocket. He holds it and keeps it folded. "You came to me on Thursday and told me that you'd like to volunteer at the hospital in the fall. And I turned it down before giving you a chance to explain why you would want to do that. I mean, volunteering this summer was punishment. So why would you want to keep doing it."

Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. Even though she knows the answer, she's not sure she's ready to tell him.

Christian sighs. "Phoebe, please tell me. What's this about?"

Phoebe takes in a breath and lets it out. "Can you keep an open mind?"

"I'll try" he admits, and she nods.

"Well, it's like you said. Volunteering was punishment so I did it. It's not something I enjoyed doing on my summer vacation, but it opened my eyes to something that I might want to do with my life, medicine."

"Is that right?" he says. Even though he started to suspect as much, it is still a surprise to hear her say it out loud.

"Yeah, I mean I never thought about it before when asked the big question, 'what do you want to be when you grow up?', but after seeing and observing what doctors and nurses do, it got me thinking. Maybe I can be a doctor or a nurse."

This is a proud moment for Christian. This is the first time he's heard her talk about her future. For the past couple of years she's been unsure about what she wants to be or what college she wants to attend. This is definitely a big step for her, but he still needs to make sure she is doing this for the right reasons.

"I'm glad to hear you say that. That's great Phoebe."

"It is?"

"Yes, it's very good. But I need to ask, does this have anything to do with Danny Prescott or Trevor Lansing?" He holds up the piece of paper still folded in his hand.

Phoebe bites her lip before she answers. "It has a little bit to do with Danny, but not Trevor. I mean, he'll be busy with soccer every day. I would still be spending time with Danny while his parents take a break in the afternoon. But I also want to do this to make sure that medicine is something that I want to study. And then I could talk to Grandma about it."

"Why don't you want to talk to her about it now?" he asks.

"I want to wait until I'm sure, you know, not get her hopes up."

Christian smiles at her and nods. "I think she will be happy with whatever you choose to do. Just like your mother and me." He holds up the piece of paper again. "Had I known about all this on Thursday, well I hope I would have been more supportive. Here."

He hands over the sheet of paper and she takes it. "You're letting me do this?" she asks as she opens the paper. It is the permission slip that she showed him the other day, and it has his signature.

"Yes, under one condition. You need to keep your grades up, eat proper meals and get eight hours of sleep every night."

Phoebe smirks. "That's three"

"Fine, three conditions. Do we understand each other?"

Phoebe nods. "Yeah, thanks Dad." She leans in and gives him a hug, and he returns it. For the first time in weeks he starts to feel like he is making progress with her.


	26. Fifty Good News

Christian follows Phoebe downstairs with Natalie in his arms. As promised, he has his baby girl sit on his lap and watch one of her movies until dinner is ready. Phoebe goes to the kitchen to help her mother with dinner. They chat more about the weekend and the conversation Christian just had with Phoebe about volunteering at the hospital.

"How did it go?" Ana asks her.

Phoebe smiles. "You know how it went. Dad signed the permission form. How did you get him to change his mind?" Ana finishes stirring the food and faces her daughter. Phoebe grimaces. "On second thought, maybe I don't want to know."

Ana chuckles. "It's not like that, Honey. Your father and I are a team. We discuss things that affect our family and our kids and we make decisions together."

"It sounded like Dad made up his mind the other night" Phoebe says sadly.

"Your father does tend to make decisions in the moment, that won't ever change. It is part of his overwhelming compulsion to protect the ones that he loves. But then he remembers that he needs to include me in our decision making." Ana stops Phoebe from gathering dishes and has her face her. "I know you ask me for things because you are afraid your father will say no. And because you two are still working through some things." Phoebe nods and looks down. The subject of her and her father still remains a sore subject. Ana gently places her fingers under her chin to get her to look at her. "He's noticed it too. And he doesn't blame you, but I think it bothers him. Maybe you can go to him for some things. I think he'd appreciate that."

Phoebe offers a nod and a small smile when Ana smiles at her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Teddy arrives home and greets his father and baby sister in the main room. Natalie holds her arms up for him to pick her up and he does, spinning around and making her giggle. "Hey Munchkin. Hi Dad."

"Good to see you, Son" Christian says as Teddy sits down with Natalie on his lap. "How's Rebecca?"

"Anxious" he says as he starts to tickle Natalie to make her laugh again. "She just wants this recovery to be done already so that she can walk again. I have to keep telling her not to push herself. Her Dad's home now and he said he'd make sure she gets enough rest."

"I can make some calls to get physical therapy sorted for when you two go back to school."

Teddy smiles at his father. "Thanks, Dad. That would be great. We did start looking into it but we haven't found anything yet."

Phoebe interrupts to let them know that dinner is ready. Teddy hands Natalie over to Christian and takes his other sister into a hug. "Hey Sis"

Christian watches his children and smiles. He's glad that his kids are close. He thinks about the twins that are on the way and hopes that they will be as close with each other and Natalie. He is interrupted when Ana comes into the room.

"Hey, food's getting cold."

Teddy smiles at his mother and rushes over to hug her. "Mom"

"Hey Teddy Bear" she says as she returns the hug.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The Grey kids are seated for dinner while Christian and Ana remain standing. The plates already have food on them since Ana had already served everyone.

"This looks really good" Teddy comments as they sit and wait for their parents. Christian and Ana put the drinks on the table and remain standing.

"Do you notice a theme with tonight's dinner?" Christian asks.

Teddy and Phoebe look at each other and then down at their plates.

"Yeah, there are two servings of everything" Teddy says with a big smile on his face.

Phoebe scrunches her nose and immediately jumps to the subject of Christian's food issues. "Are you giving us extra food because you're afraid we didn't eat this weekend?"

Christian's smile quickly fades and his mouth forms into a hard line. But then he closes his eyes and softens when Ana puts her hand on his back. She puts the other hand on her baby bump. "No, Phoebe. That's not it" she says patiently.

"Okay" Teddy says and runs his knuckle along his chin while his fork is in his hand. "Two servings of baby carrots, baby potatoes, baby shells with meat sauce….." He looks up at his parents and notices that his mother is rubbing her hand over her bump. "Twins? Are you having twins?"

Phoebe looks shocked at Teddy and then looks to her parents for confirmation. She gets it when she sees the huge smiles on their faces and tears in her mother's eyes.

"That's right" she confirms. "In about five months we are going to have twins."

"How do you kids feel about that?" Christian asks, concerned that they won't be happy with their news. He is proven wrong when Teddy stands and hugs his mother.

"That's fantastic" he says. Christian and Ana look at Phoebe for her reaction and she seems to be in shock. After a moment she too stands and hugs her mother. Teddy and Phoebe then hug their father and congratulate him.

"Hug" Natalie says and raises her arms into the air. Christian leans down and hugs her and kisses her head while everyone else takes their seats at the dinner table.

Christian and Ana can't stop beaming about their news as they eat. Teddy and Phoebe chuckle with amusement as they observe their parents' movements, passing things around the table and helping Natalie eat her dinner.

"So I guess you two enjoyed your weekend" Teddy says after watching them for a few minutes.

"That we did son" Christian responds as he finishes cutting some of his food. Ana nods in agreement since she has food in her mouth.

"Please, spare us on the details" Phoebe says, not wanting to hear too much about her parents' sex life. Christian and Ana both chuckle.

"Your father and I had a wonderful weekend. We appreciate you going along with our plans this weekend so we could have some time alone."

"You deserve it" Teddy says before taking some more food into his mouth. "You spend so much time with your careers and with taking care of us. You should plan to do it again before the babies come."

Christian looks over at his wife and puts his arm around the back of her chair. He smiles seductively at her and she can't help but blush. "That's not a bad idea." He leans over and plants two kisses on her cheek. "Speaking of careers, your mother has made a decision about hers."

Teddy and Phoebe immediately look to their mother and she smiles, although she does have a tear threatening to escape her eye.

"Mom, what is it?" Teddy asks in a half excited and half worried tone.

Ana continues to smile and feels her husband's hand take hers. She looks at him before speaking. "Well, I have decided to retire from Grey Publishing."

Teddy and Phoebe look between their parents, not sure how to feel or what to say. They are not sure if this is good news or bad news. Is this something that she wants or something that is necessary? Their mother has been CEO of Grey Publishing since before they were born. They spent a lot of time with her while she worked before they were old enough to go to school. Christian and Ana are not sure what to make of their reactions when they don't speak.

"Tell us what you're thinking?" Christian says to his kids softly as he grips Ana's hand tighter to assure her that he is on board with her decision.

"Why are you retiring? Is everything okay with the pregnancy?" Phoebe asks in a worried tone.

"No, Baby, everything is fine with the pregnancy" Ana immediately assures her. She instinctively brings her other hand down to her stomach and rubs it. "This is something I've been thinking about for a few weeks now. I've been tossing the idea back and forth, weighing the pros and the cons." She looks at Christian and smiles. "This weekend, when we found out that we are having twins, well, the pros just won over. Having two newborns and a toddler at the office everyday wouldn't be practical. So…" she shrugs her shoulders and smiles at her kids again. "I've decided to take an early retirement, stay at home and write a book."

Teddy and Phoebe both smile back at their mother. "You're going to write?" Teddy asks excitedly. "I think that's great, Mom."

"Me too" Phoebe says. Ana starts to struggle with her emotions and tears start to run down her face. "Mom, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sweetheart" she says as she wipes her tears with her hands.

"Hormones" Teddy says to his sister, which makes Ana laugh.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

After dinner, Christian and Ana send their kids to sit in the main room while they clear the table and load the dishwasher.

"How are you doing, Mrs Grey? Are you alright?"

Ana smiles and accepts her husband's arms wrapping around her from behind. "I'm good, Mr Grey. Really good. I'm glad we told the kids about the retirement and the twins."

"No reason to keep it from them" he says as he leans down and kisses her cheek.

She turns around to face him. "Do you think…." she says and then hesitates. "Do you think they'll feel resentment toward these twins for having a stay at home Mom while they didn't?"

Christian grimaces for a moment. "No, why would they?"

Ana shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. I guess I feel like they got the raw end of the deal for having to go to work with me every day when they were babies. When they came home from school they came home to Gail instead of me. I was home at four, sometimes you were here already or got home a short time later, we would have homework, and then dinner, and then we put them to bed. Natalie and the twins will get to be home with me more than they did."

Christian shakes his head. "Baby, I don't think you should worry about that. Our kids felt loved every day. They didn't have nannies taking care of them, we took care of them" he tries to assure her. "They know that you've been doing something you love. You saw their reactions when you told them about your plans to retire. They were shocked." He takes her hand and leads her over to the breakfast bar. He has her sit on one of the stools as he continues to assure her.

"You didn't want me to work" she reminds him.

Christian smiles lightly. "That's right, I didn't. But you insisted. We made it work, Ana. Our kids were happy. Natalie's happy. These twins will be, too." He brings his hand to her stomach and she puts her hand on top of his. She has tears in her eyes again. "You're a wonderful mother, Ana. Our kids are extremely lucky." Ana nods quickly and sniffles. "Those hormones are really getting the best of you today, aren't they?"

Ana giggles and wipes some more tears away. "Nothing that a pick-me-up from my husband can't fix" she says as she stands from her stool and wraps her arms around his neck. "Thank you." She kisses his lips and he returns the kiss. After a few seconds they stop and he kisses her forehead.

"Time for presents" he says excitedly. He takes Ana's hand and she follows him into the main room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

"Sit on you lap" Natalie says and is instantly pulled into Phoebe's lap. She and Teddy have been watching a movie and they haven't been able to take their eyes off of the television. That changes when their parents walk into the room and see that they are watching a horror movie.

"Son, I don't think you should be subjecting your sisters to this" Christian says as he looks at the screen again. His voice is stern leaving no room for argument.

"Sorry, Dad" he says as he grabs the remote and powers down the television.

"Your mother and I spent some time shopping this weekend and we picked up a few things for you" Christian announces. The tone of his voice is light this time and he has a smile on his face.

"Presents?" Teddy asks excitedly like a kid on Christmas morning.

"That's right" Ana confirms. "Teddy these are for you." She hands over a bag filled with some clothes. Some he can wear to school. There are also two pairs of swim shorts with matching tops, swim goggles and a pair of sandals. Ana also gives a bag to Phoebe while Christian takes Natalie and sits with her on the loveseat. Phoebe's bag has a few outfits she can wear to dance class along with two bathing suits, two cover ups, swim goggles and sandals. Christian shows Natalie some things that they bought for her and she is excited that her bathing suits and covers ups have Disney princesses on them.

"This stuff is great. Thank you" Teddy says excitedly.

"Thank you. You guys didn't have to get us anything" Phoebe says humbly.

"There's one more for Phoebe. Open the box" Christian says while he continues to show Natalie the clothes that they bought for her.

Phoebe hesitantly takes the box from Ana and looks at her father. She is overwhelmed by the gifts that they have given her since there is really no occasion for it and she hasn't done anything to deserve them. She looks at her mother and she is unsure.

"Go ahead, Honey, open it" Ana says and takes the seat next to Phoebe on the larger sofa.

Everyone watches as Phoebe removes the lid to the box and pushes the tissue paper aside to see its contents. She lets up a gasp when she sees what is in the box. She looks over at her father and he has a smile on his face.

"How did….. how did you know?" she stutters.

"Miss Alana mentioned to me that pointe lessons are starting soon" Christian explains. "You can't learn pointe without the proper shoes."

"I don't know what to say" Phoebe says softly as she looks down at the box. Christian kisses Natalie's head and lifts her off of his lap. He walks over to the sofa and sits on the coffee table to face Phoebe. "You didn't have to" Phoebe says softly when she looks up at him.

"Yes we did" he shoots back, but his voice is calm. "You work so hard at everything you do. Dance is just one of them. I know you'll get a lot of use out of them."

Ana puts her arm around Phoebe. "Your father and I are really excited about this. We thought you would be too."

"I am" she says convincingly. "I really am" she smiles and holds one of the shoes in her hand. "My toes won't be thrilled about it, but I am." Christian, Ana and Teddy chuckle at Phoebe's joke. "Seriously, thank you for these and for all of these clothes."

"You're welcome" Christian says and then takes Ana's hand to have her sit next to him on the coffee table. He then turns and looks at his baby girl. "Natalie, come here, Baby." Natalie obeys and is put in Teddy's lap. "We have another surprise for you." he announces. Teddy and Phoebe look at each other and then back at their parents. "Before Teddy has to go back to school, we are spending a few days in Florida." Teddy and Phoebe both gasp with excitement. They both have big smiles on their faces.

Ana rubs her pregnancy bump again. "Your father and I have wanted to take a trip with you and this is probably the last chance we'll have before the babies come and before you both are busy with school."

"So what do you say? Are you on board?" Christian asks with his young playful smile.

Teddy and Phoebe look at each other and then back at their parents. "When do we leave?" Teddy asks with a young playful smile to match his father's.

* * *

_**I thought it was time for a light chapter free of drama. I do have plenty of drama planned but it is a matter of getting them there without too much jumping ahead. I know that Teddy seems boring but I do have something planned for him later on. As always thank you for the reviews and Happy Reading!**_


	27. Fifty Family Secrets

Phoebe's POV

I am so excited! It's been a while since we took a family vacation. Mom and Dad have taken us to so many places. I've been to England, France, Italy, Germany, Tahiti, and most of the Caribbean Islands as well as many vacation spots in the States. They also took us to Disney World a few times, but after Natalie came along we didn't really go anywhere. This will be her first vacation. She is going to love Disney World. I know that I loved it and I'm going to enjoy seeing her reaction to the rides, the parades and the characters. I'm also excited because I'll get to spend some time with Teddy. He's been spending all of his time with Rebecca and only coming home for a few dinners.

I am all packed, so I decide to check on Teddy to see if he needs any help. I knock on his door and I am immediately welcomed in. When I open his door I see boxes and his things scattered everywhere. What a mess! Not only is he packing for Florida, but he is also packing for when he needs to go back to school. When we come home, there will only be one day before he'll need to get on a plane with Rebecca and fly back east. The thought of it makes me sad because I miss him so much when he's not here. I know I didn't get to see him much this summer, but just having him home in the same town has been comforting.

Although his room is a mess, he tries to convince me that he knows where everything is and that it is simply "organized chaos". That is the term he uses. Organized chaos. I decide to help him and finish packing the things he will be taking to school with him while he works on packing for Florida. We spend about two hours packing, and I am amazed at how much we get accomplished.

Once everything is packed, we move the Florida stuff to one side of the room and the school stuff to the other. I find a box that isn't labeled, so I open it. Teddy tries to stop me but he's too late. I open the box and let out a gasp before covering my mouth. I almost don't believe what I see. I am frozen in my spot, on my knees looking into this medium sized box that contains some pretty scary items. Why does my brother have these?

"Phoebe" he says, but all I can do is shake my head. "It's not what you think."

"How do you know what I think?" I ask him shakily.

"This probably looks really bad" he says. I'm not looking at him since he is behind me, but I can tell he is nervous, probably even embarrassed. He should be.

"Why do you have these?" I manage to ask him after some silence. I can't take my eyes off of the contents of the box. But I really want to. I don't want to see these. But my curiosity is getting the best of me.

"Phoebe…." He is now sitting on his bed and I can tell he is having a hard time getting the words out. Is he embarrassed for me or embarrassed for himself? I start to feel embarrassed and all I want to do is disappear from this room. I somehow manage to stand and start to walk out, but he stands in front of me and grabs my shoulders to stop me. "Please, wait." I can't look him in the eye. It's like he's a different person to me now. He's not my brother. He's some kind of….. sadist. "Let me explain, please."

I nod but still avoid eye contact with him. He guides me over to sit on his bed, but he remains standing. I start to find it hard to breathe as I look over at the box again. Teddy notices where my line of sight lies and he moves to stand between me and the box.

"You know me Phoebe, you know that I'm not a monster." All I do is nod at that assessment. "I would never hurt Rebecca, or any woman for that matter."

"Then why do you have those?" I ask again, this time I can hear a hint of anger in my voice. I realize that I am angry. Does he expect me to believe that it is okay to tie women up, handcuff them, beat them?

"Rebecca and I like to play while we have sex." I grimace when I hear him say this. Gross! "I have never done anything to her that she hasn't consented to. I promise Phoebe, I would never hurt her."

I shake my head and I want to cry, but I do my best to suppress it. Does he expect me to believe that Rebecca likes him to do these things to her? "She's in a wheelchair" I finally say out loud.

"Yes, she's in a wheelchair because her back injury is preventing her from walking properly. She's not paralyzed and she's not incapable of enjoying sex." Teddy's tone has changed. Instead of being apologetic he is now being defensive. "Would it help if I told you that we've been taking it easy with her injury? I haven't been rough with her, I promise."

I hold my hand up. "Please, I don't want to hear about what you and Rebecca do. That's not my business."

"It is now that you've found this stuff." He sits on the bed and I slide away from him. This is so strange. I've never felt this sick and uncomfortable around my brother. But this changes everything. "Phoebe…" his voice turns more serious now. "…have you and Trevor had sex?"

_What?_ "How is that any of your business?"

"So you haven't." I am completely appalled and even more embarrassed now. I feel my face turn a shade of red. "That is why this is so alien to you, how two people can enjoy doing this stuff while having sex. When Rebecca first suggested this, I was still clueless about sex so I found it rather odd. But I trusted her, and then after a few times I understood it. So please, don't judge something that you don't understand."

Now I feel like he is reprimanding me. I have got to get out of here. I stand from the bed and he stands too. He tries to take my arm but I pull away from him. "Please don't touch me." I can feel the tears forming and my voice is trembling. "It's late, I should go to bed." I leave his room and am thankful that he doesn't follow me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

We arrive at the airport at five in the morning. Ana and the kids are tired but I am wide awake. I can't keep the excitement out of my face. It's been a while since we've taken a family vacation, and this will be Natalie's first. She has no idea what she is in for. I am going to make sure she gets to meet as many princesses as possible while we are in Disney. Ana packed her Cinderella and Rapunzel dresses that she will wear to the parks.

I remember how excited Teddy and Phoebe were every time we visited Disney. We wouldn't tell them where we were going until we were ready to leave for the airport. We would wake them up early, get them dressed and then tell them, and they would go from sleepy children to children on a sugar high. They are older now but I know they will still have a good time. We will also spend a few days in Miami relaxing. I know my family can use some time to just lounge in the sun and relax by the pool and the ocean before school starts. I lead my family through security and they allow me to carry Natalie through since she is asleep. I am grateful that they don't make us wake her. She would've had a hard time going back to sleep and we would've had a cranky two year old on our hands.

We have a few of my security with us, including Taylor and Gail. I wanted them to come along, not just for the security but because I want them to enjoy some time relaxing as well.

Once we are on the Grey Jet, Phoebe requests to sit with her mother instead of Teddy. I find it odd since I thought she would want to sit with her brother. After settling Natalie in Ana's lap I take my seat next to Teddy. My security team boards the plane and takes their seats.

After we're in the air for a while, we get the all clear to remove our seat belts. Our two flight attendants serve us breakfast. Natalie is still asleep so I offer to take her, but Ana insists she is fine. I keep an eye on her and Phoebe to make sure they both eat. It is still pretty early in the morning but when we arrive in Orlando it will be four in the afternoon east coast time. We'll have to have lunch before we land so that we can stay on a good eating schedule for the next few days. I am satisfied when I see that they have finished their breakfast. The flight attendants take our trash and I relax in my seat as I watch Phoebe rest her head on Ana's shoulder. Ana rests her head back but she doesn't sleep. I offer to take Natalie again but she still insists that she is okay.

I look at my son next to me and he seems troubled by something. Perhaps it has something to do with Phoebe not wanting to sit next to him. I decide to question him, but my approach is anything but soft. "What's going on with you and Phoebe?" I can tell he is surprised at both my tone and my question. He shrugs his shoulders and removes his ear buds.

"What do you mean?" He looks over at Ana and Phoebe nervously as he asks this, so I know there is definitely something going on. I decide to soften my tone and lower my voice. Phoebe has fallen asleep on Ana's arm and her ear buds are in, but Ana's eyes are now on us, curious as to what we are talking about.

"I know that something is going on. You and Phoebe always insist on sitting next to each other whenever we travel. So why not today?" Teddy looks away from me and down at his lap. He starts to play with the drawstring from his sweatpants. "Tell me" I whisper forcefully.

"Dad, Phoebe found…. she found something that I've never intended for her to see."

"What did she find?"

I hear him sigh and I can tell this is something that I'm not going to like. "She was helping me pack for school, and she found my box of toys."

I look at him for a moment but he doesn't look back. After a few seconds it hits me. "You let her find your…." I grab my head in frustration. I know that Ana is still looking at us but I can't worry about that right now. Phoebe must have been horrified. "What did you say to her?"

"I wasn't prepared to talk to her about it. I tried to explain to her that I would never hurt Rebecca. But she was just so shocked by what she saw, I don't think she wanted to hear anything I had to say."

"So she's avoiding you?" I ask, still keeping my voice at a whisper.

"I don't blame her. Dad, she is still so innocent. What have I done?"

I can feel my mouth form into a hard line. Teddy is beating himself up over this. I know he didn't mean for Phoebe to see that part of his life. He buries his face in his hands and rests his elbows on his knees. I rub his back in an attempt to soothe him. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it." I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it, but I don't want Teddy to have to deal with this on his own.

We fly in silence for a while until I hear my wife's beautiful voice, catching my full attention instantly.

"Christian, could you help me?" I stand and walk over to her. Phoebe is still asleep with her head on Ana's arm and Natalie is still asleep in her lap. "I need to change her." I take Natalie from her so that she can stand. She helps Phoebe rest her head against a pillow. She stirs for a moment, but she doesn't wake.

"I'll come with you" I whisper and then follow her back to the bedroom. I decide I should discuss the problem our kids are having since this will probably be one of the rare moments we'll spend alone this week. I close the door behind me and lay our sleeping daughter on the bed. Ana starts to change her but I stop her. "I'll do it." Ana smiles at me and plays with our daughter's hair while I change her. We decide to dress her in regular clothes instead of her pajamas since we'll be landing in Florida late in the afternoon.

"What were you and Teddy discussing?" she asks me before I have a chance to offer the information.

"I actually wanted to talk to you while we're alone" I start. First I move Natalie to the top of the bed so that her head is rested on a pillow. I then walk over to the foot of the bed to sit with my wife. "Phoebe was helping Teddy pack, and she found Teddy's sex toys."

Ana gasps and brings her hand to her mouth. She looks away from me and puts her hands on each side of her face. "Oh no, Christian, this is bad. This is so bad. Well, what did he say to her?"

"Apparently not much. He said he explained that he would never hurt Rebecca, but Phoebe was in shock. I mean, you remember how you felt when I first showed you my playroom." It pains me to have to compare my wife's introduction to BDSM to Phoebe's. Ana was an adult, but Phoebe is still just a kid. She's my little girl and I hate that she has these images in her head now. God, what she must be thinking.

"We have to do something. I've gotta talk to her" Ana says nervously and stands, but I take her hand and stop her.

"Not now" I tell her and get her to sit down. Ana's first instinct is always to rush to Phoebe whenever there's a problem, but right now I want Ana to think about what she is going to say. I have her sit on the bed again and take both of her hands in mine. "Do you even know what you're going to say to her?"

Ana thinks it over for a moment and then shakes her head. "No, but I have to say something. I can't just let her deal with this on her own. And I don't want her to spend the week feeling awkward around her brother. They rarely get to spend time together."

I rub Ana's hands with my thumbs and turn to see Natalie stir a bit. Once she's settled I turn and face Ana again. "She's going to have questions" I explain to her. "And you'll need to know how to answer those questions. She's going to figure out that you have some experience with this."

Now Ana is smirking at me. "Teddy found out. It was the only way to get him to not be ashamed of what he was doing. Maybe Phoebe needs to know a little bit about it so that she doesn't have any ill feelings toward her brother."

I sigh with exasperation. "I want her to know as little as possible about this. I want her to keep as much of her innocence as possible."

Ana gives me a look that tells me to 'get real'. "Christian, think of what she's been through. "Jay, Harold Braxton, Caleb..."

"Caleb never did anything to jeopardize her innocence, the fucker just lied to her about who he was" I shoot back, but Ana doesn't seem to be backing down. But then she surprises me.

"Okay, we'll tell her as much as she needs to know so that she'll understand. I'll try to grab a moment with her before we land."

I nod and run by hands through my hair. And here I thought we would have a nice family vacation free of all of the drama that seems to find us at every corner.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

After we've been in the air for a while, I have Phoebe join me in the bedroom so that we can have our chat. Natalie is awake so I leave her with Christian to eat her bagel since she slept through breakfast. I start to feel nervous when we are alone. I didn't think I'd feel this way, but now that I'm confronted with my daughter and what I need to talk to her about, I feel myself shrink.

"Mom, are you okay?" she asks me.

I offer her a light smile. "I'm fine Sweetie. Have a seat." We both sit on the bed and she looks curiously at me. I take in a breath and try to relax. I try to tell myself that this is my daughter, and that there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

"Are you sure you're okay? Should I get Dad?"

I put my hand on top of hers to assure her. "No, I'm fine, I promise. I need to talk to you about what you found in Teddy's room."

"He told you?" she asks angrily.

"Not exactly. He told your father."

Just like her father, she runs her hands through her hair. "Oh my God, this is so not happening."

I gently grab her arms and get her to lower them from her head. "Honey, it's okay. We don't want you to be embarrassed about this. That's why I want to talk to you."

"Do you have to?"

"Yes, I do. Honey I don't want things to be awkward between you and your brother, especially while we're on vacation…."

"Mom" she interrupts me. "He has handcuffs and chains and… and paddles…." She shakes her head and starts to get upset. "How is that okay?"

"It _is_ okay. You have to trust me on this" I try to assure her. This is going to be harder than I thought.

"How is it okay to hit women?"

I sit closer to her and take her hands. "Phoebe, calm down" I say to her sternly. She avoids eye contact with me. I can't lose her in this. I need to be able to explain to her why this is okay. "Phoebe, it is not okay to _hit_ women, but what Teddy does is okay."

"I don't understand" she says with tears running down her face. I reach up and dry them with my thumb before I continue.

I take a deep breath and let it out. "It's hard to explain. But when people have sex, they like to do things that excite their partner. And those things excite Teddy and Rebecca. Honey, as long as they both agree and consent to those things, there is nothing wrong with it."

I can tell she is thinking about this and letting it sink in. She nods and I leave go of her hands when I notice she is calmer. She doesn't look at me so I just sit and wait for her to say something. When she doesn't, I decide to speak up. "Do you have any questions?"

She looks in my direction but not at my face. "You and Dad?"

_Oh Shit_. I offer a nod, bite my lip and then offer an explanation. "Your father and I have had a very gratifying relationship, and anything we've ever done has always been consensual. But that's all I'm going to say about that."

She nods and I get the feeling that she understands. I take her hand again and squeeze it. "Phoebe, Teddy is kicking himself for allowing you to find those things. You shouldn't have any of that in your head right now. Just please, try to understand that Teddy is in an adult relationship. And he loves Rebecca. He cherishes her. He could never hurt her." She nods again and this time she looks at my face. I smile and she smiles back. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." I lean over and kiss her cheek. I know that this isn't entirely okay, but maybe just enough to get her to enjoy this week with her brother.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

A few hours later we are in Hollywood Studios having dinner. I'm not very hungry since we just had lunch before we landed, but Dad insisted that we eat something little so that we aren't hungry later. Mom, Teddy and Natalie have finished so they are a few yards away meeting with some characters. Dad is sitting with me, big surprise since he's probably just here to make sure I finish my dinner. He hasn't said anything yet but I know what he is thinking. I find out soon enough that I'm wrong.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks and I nod since I have a little bit of food in my mouth. That should make him happy. "I need you to take it easy on your brother."

I scowl since I know what he is referring to. I swallow my food and keep the scowl on my face. "You're really not going to talk to me about this, are you?" Please God, let him say no.

"I know this isn't the easiest thing to talk about, but once upon a time I promised you that I wouldn't avoid talking to you about the hard stuff." He did promise that. Dad and his promises. He does keep most of them. "You and I have had our share of embarrassing talks. Remember, I had to be the one to talk to you about your period."

He is smiling, but it isn't a smile that says he's enjoying my discomfort. It's a smile that tells me he's just as uncomfortable about this as I am. I decide to relieve him a little and smile lightly. "Mom and Aunt Kate were both out of town." I fork some more of my salad and eat it.

"That they were. But I did okay, didn't I?"

"I guess"

"Okay, so give me a chance to do okay again." I can't help but giggle at him. He can be funny sometimes. He doesn't seem to mind my giggling. "I'm glad you find me humorous."

"So, you know about what Teddy does?" I ask him, but I don't know where that question came from.

"Yes, I've known for a while now." This takes me by surprise. "And I can guarantee you there's nothing wrong with it. As long as they both consent."

"That's what Mom said." I feel like rolling my eyes but I don't. I put some more salad in my mouth to stop myself from talking. I know far too much now about my brother and my parents than I've ever wanted to know.

"Your mother is a very smart woman" he says with a smirk, but I keep my eyes on my plate. I put some more food in my mouth, and he finds it amusing. "You know, I ought to talk to you about embarrassing things more often if it gets you to eat." I almost feel appalled by this, but I know he's kidding when I see him chuckling. I can't help but chuckle myself as I cover my mouth to avoid spitting any food out. After a few seconds he turns serious again. "I know it doesn't make sense to you now, it's not supposed to. But someday it will. Do you think you can make your peace with that?"

I think about it for a moment. Teddy's words come back to me. I shouldn't judge something that I don't understand. He's right. Trevor and I haven't done it yet so there's probably so much more to sex that I'm not even aware of. "Okay"

"Really?" he asks, almost not believing me.

"Yeah. Really. I can make my peace with it." I can't look at Dad at the moment so I concentrate on my food again. I hope Dad was kidding about using embarrassing topics against me when he wants me to eat.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

After we are finished with dinner, we collect Ana, Teddy and Natalie and walk around the park for a little bit. I keep an eye on Teddy and Phoebe to see if things get better with them. I get nervous when we walk a long way without them saying a word to each other. I am pushing Natalie's stroller and Ana has her arm around me, and I can tell that she is also keeping an eye on them. When we arrive at The Tower of Terror they suddenly come to life. They both want to go on it. Phoebe challenges Teddy to a race to get in line and he takes off before her. She catches up to him and I can see that they are laughing. Ana and I both breathe a sigh of relief and wrap our arms around each other as we watch and wait for our kids to be finished with the ride.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

We board the bus that will take us to our hotel. We came straight to the park from the airport so we haven't been there yet. I sit next to Teddy and he pulls Natalie into his lap. Strangely I feel a little better after hearing what Mom and Dad had to say about Teddy's extracurricular activities. Although I wish I never had to learn about them in the first place. I take Mom and Dad's advice and make my peace with it. After all, I know my brother, so why should this change things? He's still the same fun, loving, goofy brother he's always been with a hint of Dad in him at times.

Mom and Dad sit a few seats away from us. The bus takes off and the lights go out, but I can still see them. They are holding hands and laughing together. I like seeing them like that, as long as my friends aren't around to see it. It can be a bit embarrassing since other people's parents don't act like that.

Teddy looks over at me and catches me smiling at them. "I know that Dad talked to you about me. Was it horrible?"

I shrug my shoulders and continue to watch my parents. "Sometimes I feel like Dad likes to make me squirm, take pleasure in my discomfort. But it wasn't like that. He only said enough to make me understand that you're not doing anything wrong."

"So am I forgiven?"

I look over at Teddy and he is looking intently at me. I smile and can't help but chuckle at him. I look away and shake my head. "You were right. This is all alien to me and I shouldn't have been upset with you in the first place. Can we stop talking about it now?"

I see him nod as an idea starts to brew in his head. "Sure, we can stop talking about it. Besides, I want to talk about you and Dad."

I immediately raise an eyebrow at him. "What about me and Dad?"

This time Teddy looks over at our parents. "I know that you two have had your issues. I also know that you and Dad could never stay angry with each other for too long."

"We're not angry with each other."

Now he looks at me. "So what's the problem? Why are things still awkward between you two?"

I look at my parents and Dad is whispering something in Mom's ear, which makes her laugh. I feel the tears coming but I manage to suppress them. "I really hurt him, Teddy." Teddy looks at me with confusion but I keep my eyes on my parents. "I hurt him as bad has his birth mother, maybe even worse."

"He said that?" Teddy sounds appalled, but he really should be appalled with me, not Dad.

I nod and continue to keep the tears at bay. "I'm having a hard time getting over how much I hurt him."

Teddy looks over at our parents briefly and then looks at me again. "Do you think he's still thinking about that?"

I shrug my shoulders. I really don't know what Dad is thinking right now. All I know is that things are not the way they used to be, and I'm not sure if they ever will be. I can feel myself sulk.

"I don't believe that."

"He doesn't call me Peanut."

"Even if he doesn't say it, you will always be his little Peanut, Phoebe." He looks at our parents again and then at me. I realize I am sulking now. "It means that much to you, doesn't it?"

I nod and wipe away a few tears that have escaped. Good thing the lights are out and people can't see me. We both watch our parents and they are laughing about something. "Look at them. They are acting like horny teenagers" Teddy says out of the blue. This makes me laugh and I have to cover my mouth so they don't hear.

"I think it's nice" I say. And I mean it. I like seeing my parents happy.


	28. Fifty Evening in Disney

Ana's POV

We arrive at the hotel on our second night in Disney. I can tell the kids are tired and ready to turn in, but I could use some time to settle down from the events of today. This is the first time I've been on my feet all day while pregnant, and it's becoming abundantly clear that I'm not in my thirties anymore. My body is screaming at me for putting it through such extraneous activity.

As we walk through the lobby, Christian pushing Natalie in her stroller, my arm wrapped around his waist, Phoebe and Teddy walking ahead of us and some of our security walking behind, I can't help but smile. I can see why people say this is the happiest place on earth. Despite my current discomfort, I am content. I love the smell of this hotel. When I think of Disney I think of this smell. I can't describe it, other than the fact that it makes me feel tingly all over with excitement. I truly feel like a kid myself.

As we wait for the elevator, I get lost in thoughts of today. Natalie's smile never left her face. My baby girl. She was so happy to be wearing her Cinderella dress. We had her stroller with us since she's still very little, but she insisted on walking for most of the day. She wanted the princesses to see her dress when she met them. They were so great with her, talking to her and making a fuss about how beautiful she looked. It was very difficult to get her to nap. Christian told her we would leave the park if she didn't sit in her stroller and nap after we had lunch. She grew very upset and there were some tears. Luckily, that only lasted for a few minutes. That was the only time the smile left her face. She didn't want to nap because she was afraid she would miss something, but Christian made a promise to her that he wouldn't let that happen. And he made good on that promise. We spent the two hours doing things that Teddy and Phoebe wanted to do that Natalie wouldn't enjoy. Once Natalie was awake, I took her to get her changed and then we took her to see more characters and princesses.

The elevator arrives and I hold Christian back. "I could use a cup of tea. Do you mind?"

Teddy and Phoebe turn around and hold the elevator. "I can take the girls up" Teddy says. I smile, grateful to have such a thoughtful son. Teddy takes the stroller into the elevator along with security and we wait for the elevator doors to close. Dovis stays and keeps an eye on us as Christian takes my hand and leads me to the cafeteria.

"You doing okay, Baby?"

"Yes, except this pregnancy is really kicking my ass today."

He smirks at me, leaves go of my hand and moves his hand to my back. "And a very fine ass it is." His hand slowly makes its way south and then squeezes. I can't help but smile at the gesture. My husband will never change. I prefer it that way.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I lead my wife to the cafeteria to get her a tea. I know she needs it to calm herself down before she can sleep. Her body must be aching. I plan to massage her feet as soon as we are settled in our room and Natalie is asleep. I can't really do much more with a toddler in our room. That will need to wait for when we are in Miami.

I have Ana sit at a nearby table while I pay for and prepare her tea the way she likes it. I also pick up a few of the freshly made Tollhouse cookies. Phoebe loves them. My mind wanders to the events of today. I'd say it went really well. I was nervous about bringing Natalie to Disney at such a young age. When we brought Teddy and Phoebe for the first time, Teddy was seven and Phoebe was five. They weren't in diapers and they weren't on naps, so it was a bit easier to plan our days. The part that wasn't easy was controlling their behavior. Phoebe went through a stage when she was five where she would test Ana and me. Small things we would tell her to do like finishing her dinner, getting dressed, and holding our hands while in public she would make a fuss about which resulted in punishment. But I'd refused to ever swat or spank our kids in Disney because I don't want them to ever associate Disney with punishment. I'm glad I've been able to stick to that. When the kids acted out we would sit on a bench and wait for them to change their behavior before moving onto something fun. Because we were in Disney, that was a big incentive since there were a lot of fun things to do that they didn't want to miss out on.

We didn't have to do that with Natalie today. There was only one slip up when it was time for her to nap. She was very unhappy about it since she didn't want to miss out on anything. She started to cry when I threatened her with leaving the park, so I sat her on my lap and explained to her that we would wait and do all of the fun things when her nap was done. I kept her in my lap until she fell asleep and then put her in her stroller.

We used her nap time to do things with Teddy and Phoebe that weren't appropriate for a toddler. Collins kept an eye on Natalie while we took in attractions that Ana was allowed to do. With her being pregnant, we had to be careful to read the warning signs to see which rides she should avoid. I accompanied my kids on Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain, but I stayed with Ana for some of the other things they wanted to do.

When Natalie was awake, we grabbed some snacks and found a spot to watch the afternoon parade. There were a lot of people that had the same idea so it was difficult to enjoy it, but my baby girl was all smiles and laughs. I had her sit on my shoulders so that she could see. She loved every bit of it. The music, the characters, the dancers and musicians, I had a hard time getting her to keep still since she was on my shoulders. She kicked at my chest a few times, but I know she didn't do it intentionally. She was very excited. I bring my hand up to my chest where it is sore from most of her kicking with her right foot. It sure smarts, but it is worth it if my baby girl had a good time. After the parade we managed to meet with more characters and princesses. She got to meet Jasmine, Belle, Snow White Ariel, Rapunzel and of course Cinderella. That was the best moment since she was wearing her Cinderella dress today. We took some great photos.

I bring Ana's tea to her and am awarded with her beautiful smile.

"Thank you"

"Anything for the mother of my children." I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it a few times. "And the love of my life." She stands and I kiss her lips before I wrap my arms around her. "Ready to tackle bedtime, Mommy?" I lean my forehead against hers. I start to feel really tired, so I can imagine how tired she is.

She giggles. I love that sound. "I love you so much" she says softly.

"I love you too." I kiss her again, and I don't care who is watching. Let them. I love this woman with every fiber of my being. After enjoying a few more moments of our bubble, I take her hand and her tea and lead her to our hotel room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

We arrive in our hotel room, which is adjoined to Teddy and Phoebe's. Our security is in the surrounding rooms. Two of them watch the rooms overnight to make sure nobody can get close to us, two of them watch our rooms during the day, and the rest of them accompany us as we go about our day. Taylor and Gail are with us during the day, but they often wander off and do their own thing. I prefer it that way. I don't want this week to be all work for them. We have plenty of security here with us.

Ana and I walk into the kids' room and find Phoebe and Natalie asleep on the first bed. Phoebe is lying on her side and Natalie is curled up in front of her. They look adorable. Ana has her camera with her and she takes a photo. I can tell by the look on her face that she is thinking the same thing that I'm thinking. We have the greatest, most adorable daughters in the world. The flash startles Phoebe and she starts to blink her eyes open.

"I'm sorry, Honey, I didn't mean to wake you" Ana says softly. I know she couldn't resist taking a photo. We've taken so many today. We need to do that more often. Phoebe sits up and then notices that Natalie is right next to her. My baby girl must be exhausted after the day she's had. She insisted on walking most of the day because she wanted to show off her dress. I walk over and start to lift her into my arms, but Phoebe stops me.

"No, it's okay. She can stay in here tonight." I, of course am hesitant. I'd feel much better having Natalie in the same room as me since we are away from home. I'm afraid that she will wake up during the night and be scared. I shake my head but Phoebe doesn't take no for an answer. She is definitely my daughter. "Come on, Dad. We'll make sure she's okay. You and Mom probably want some time alone."

Teddy comes out of the bathroom. He just had a shower and he is just wearing shorts and a towel wrapped around his neck. I'm not sure when he finds the time to work out but it is obvious that he does. "She's right, Dad. Natalie will be fine with us."

I look at my wife and can see pure exhaustion in her face. It would be nice to have a night with just the two of us. I know Ana won't be up for sex, but maybe she will be in the morning. For tonight, we can have a bath and then I can massage her feet while she falls asleep. Ana's eyes will me to take our kids up on their offer. I nod and see a smile spread on her face.

"Okay" I look down at Phoebe. "You don't mind sharing your bed?" She shrugs her shoulders and smiles, which is her way of telling me that it isn't a big deal. "Okay, I'll get her things and change her." I kiss my wife on the way out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

Christian and I really do have the greatest kids. I know Natalie will be fine to sleep in here. I give Phoebe a hug before she goes into the bathroom to shower. I look down at my sleeping baby and wish she wasn't asleep so that I could give her a wash. With all of the people we were around and the attractions and rides, I feel all grimy myself. When Christian returns I mention it to him and he agrees that we should try to clean her even though she is asleep. When Phoebe is finished in the bathroom we take Natalie in and wash her the best way we can without putting her in the tub and without waking her up. I am amazed that she is still asleep. She must be exhausted. This helps me relax because if she slept through us washing her, she may just very well sleep through the night.

Christian dresses her and tucks her into bed next to Phoebe. Phoebe is sitting up and using her laptop. And here I thought she was exhausted. She is just typing away so I'm sure she is sending an email to either Ava or Trevor. Teddy is also sitting up in his bed using his iPad. Christian has a smile on his face as he grabs the 2 small bags that he brought up from the cafeteria. He gives them to each of our kids and they are all smiles when they see what is in the bags.

"Thanks Dad" Phoebe says. She kneels up on the bed and gives him a hug. Phoebe loves Tollhouse cookies, especially the fresh baked ones that are sold in every Disney hotel. Whenever we've vacationed in Disney, he would buy one for the kids every night if they both behaved during the day. There were just two times that I can remember when Christian didn't award them with this treat, and Phoebe was devastated. She had cried so hard and it broke my heart. Teddy was disappointed as well but he didn't cry. He also didn't pout in our presence. He knew better. But I'm his mother. I knew he was just as upset about it. Christian and I believed in awarding good behavior, but no matter how upset we and our kids were we didn't cave or give in when they misbehaved. It was tough, but I know it was the right thing to do. I don't think our kids would be as great as they are today if we spoiled them and just gave them what they wanted, especially after bad behavior. Teddy and Phoebe are older now, but I can see in their eyes that this small gesture means a lot to them. Especially Phoebe.

I look at Christian and can tell he is pleased with himself. I know that he is still struggling with some demons when it comes to our daughter, but he is working it out. He took her to the Nurse's Ball. He signed the permission form allowing her to volunteer at the hospital. He bought pointe shoes for her because he knew she wanted to learn. He's accepting her relationship with Trevor. Just over a month ago he wanted her to feel pain for what she did. But now, I'm not sure what he is thinking.

After the kids are settled we say goodnight. I can tell Christian is hesitant to leave. He looks down at our baby girl as I wrap my arms around his arm. "She'll be fine" I say to him softly. I am so tired. I just want to get washed and go to sleep.

"If she wakes up during the night, come and get me" Christian says to our kids. I can tell that they want to roll their eyes, but they don't. They get that defiance from me, I'm sure.

"Don't worry, Dad. Natalie will be fine. Go on, get out of here." Teddy orders us out of the room and I can't help but laugh at Christian's facial expression. He is practically being banished from the room. I'm with Teddy. I pull Christian's arm, and with much reluctance he follows. I close the door behind us. Geez, what is he afraid of?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Ana and I are sitting in the warm bath. The back of her head is rested on my shoulder. She could easily fall asleep in here. She is so relaxed. I wish I could relax. I don't know why I am so anxious. My kids are in the room right next to us and our rooms are surrounded by my security. I try to control my breathing, but Ana picks up on my anxiety.

"What is it that you're worried about?" she asks me.

I have a hard time answering her as my head remains rested on the back of the tub and my eyes are fixed on the ceiling tiles. "I don't know" I say as I continue to think about what to say. "I guess I'm afraid Natalie will wake up and be scared if she realizes that she's not in her own bed and we are not there with her."

"Phoebe and Teddy are with her" she tries to assure me but keeps her head on my shoulder. "She won't be scared with them. She'll probably wake up and laugh when she sees that Phoebe is in the bed with her."

"She'll wake up and laugh and she won't go back to sleep" I say and can hear the irritation in my voice. I need to tone it down a notch. This gets Ana to sit up and turn so that she can look at me.

"Our baby girl is exhausted. She didn't wake up when we washed her, so I doubt she'll wake up during the night." She leans up and kisses my jaw. Even in my overprotective neurotic state I can still enjoy the feel of my wife's lips on me. "Speaking of exhaustion, time for this Mommy to get to bed."

I help her stand and then climb out of the tub before she does. I'm always worried that she'll fall so I hold her hand as she climbs out. I wrap a towel around her first and then grab a towel for myself. I lead her out of the bathroom and over to the bed with another towel in my hand. I have her sit up while I towel dry her hair, just enough for her to sleep without soaking her pillow. Once I'm satisfied, I retrieve her pajamas and boxers for myself and then sit on the bed. She gives me a greedy look, which surprises me. Just ten minutes ago she said she was exhausted.

She doesn't take her eyes off of me as she backs away from me, using her hands to slowly scoot herself back so that she is sitting in the middle of the bed. I put our clothes aside and slowly crawl onto the bed so that I am sitting in front of her. She brings her hand up and uses her index finger to gesture me to come closer. I happily oblige. I lean over her as she lowers herself and our lips meet. It is like fireworks in my body. I continue to kiss her lips and then move down to her jaw and neck. I slowly remove her towel so that I can cover more of her body with kisses. I make my way down to her stomach and take my time kissing her baby bump. My wife is so sexy when she's pregnant. I continue my trail of kisses and can feel her writhing. She fists the sheets as I plant kisses on her left thigh. I stop and smile up at her before I start planting kisses on her right thigh and make my way up her body. I grab her thighs when I reach her sex because I plan to prolong the torture and need her still. She continues to grip the sheets and says my name a few times. I have to shush her since I'm not sure how thick these walls are. "Not yet, Baby" I whisper to her, because I know what she wants. I start to lick and suck again and I know she is getting close. I move up and fill her. Oh, this feels so good. I love being inside her. I look at her face and am pleased with how satisfying this is for her. I start to move in and out, picking up the pace. She says my name again and then explodes beneath me. I give one last thrust before I come and join her in bliss. We lie together for a bit, both sated.

I kiss her cheek and then sit up, gathering her pajamas and my boxers. We can't sleep naked in case one of the kids needs us during the night. We both get dressed and I have her lie down on her side of the bed. I pick up her left foot and massage it, watching her face as I do it.

"Feel better?" she asks me. And I realize that I do. All of the anxiety I had an hour ago about Natalie sleeping in the next room is completely gone. It's amazing what this woman does to me.

"Thanks to you" I say to her with a smile. "You are too good to me, Mrs Grey."

"Me? You're the one massaging my feet."

I bring her foot up to my mouth and kiss the pad beneath her big toe. "And kissing them" I say with another smile. This makes her giggle. What I would do to keep her giggling.

Ana's POV

Christian and I are in bed and he is massaging me feet. How did I get so lucky to have this wonderful man in my life?

"I watched you when you surprised our kids with Tollhouse cookies."

"Did you now?"

"You were very pleased with yourself."

Christian smiles and keeps his eyes on my foot. "If I can bring smiles to the faces of my wife and kids, I consider that a great accomplishment."

He kisses my foot again and then gently bits my littlest toe. I writhe as I feel the sensation in my groin, and he knows it too. I can tell by the lascivious smile on his face. He puts my foot down and takes the other into his skillful hands.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask him.

"Of course."

"Your beef with Phoebe, how is that going?"

He doesn't look up at me right away, and I can tell he is thinking about it. He continues to massage my foot as though I haven't asked the question, and for a moment I don't think he's going to answer me. I wait for him, knowing that there's no point in trying to pressure him. That would only be counterproductive. He sighs and then glances at me for a moment while he answers. "Ana, I don't have a beef with our daughter."

I raise my eyebrows, scrunch my lips up and nod my head, and I know he can see that even though he is looking down at his hands on my foot. "Does that mean you no longer want to cause her pain for leaving?"

I hear him sigh harder, which tells me this is the last thing he wants to be talking about right now. But I don't care. I need to know. "Please tell me."

The rhythm of his fingers slows for a bit, and then picks up again when he starts to speak. "No, I don't want to cause her pain. It makes me sick that I even wanted that in the first place." He looks up at me and I can see the fear in his eyes. Oh my poor fifty, what is he afraid of? "I'm no longer in that place, but I am scared. I'm scared that she'll leave again. And I don't think I could take that."

He has a frown on his face, and I start to feel guilty for bringing it up. I sit up and move so that I am closer to him. I get him to look at my face and I try to assure him with my smile. "She knows she messed up. She's not going to leave again. But…. when she goes to college, we'll have to make our peace with where she decides to go."

"Where ever she goes, we will visit her very often. I don't care how far away she is."

I purposely roll my eyes at him and bite my lip, and I'm awarded with his sudden smirk. His voice becomes very seductive. "My dear Anastasia, I did vow to never spank the kids while we're in Disney, but that vow does not extend to my naughty wife." I purr at his delicious threat, and his face is now only an inch away from mine. He kisses me and then has me lie down so that he can continue to massage my aching foot. "If you weren't so tired, I'd already be making your beautiful posterior fifty shades of pink."

I giggle at my Fifty and am once again awarded with his beautiful smile. "I've always admired the special bond you have with her. Ray and I were close, but what you and Phoebe have runs deeper than that. I know you would do anything for her. I think that's why it hurt so much when she left. And I think that's why you're scared."

Christian nods and keeps his eyes on my foot. "I _would_ do anything for her. Even talk about boys and sex and her period with her."

I giggle again because it's true. "I don't know too many fathers that are willing to do that for their daughters."

"What, Ray didn't have the sex talk with you?" He looks at me with his panty splitting smile. He is so smug.

"No, of course not. Can you imagine? No, he decided to pretend that sex didn't exist. I guess he thought I would figure it out on my own. And I got my period after we had that special 'girls in one room boys in another' talk in school."

"Phoebe wasn't so lucky."

_Christian's POV_

_After making sure Teddy is up, I check on Phoebe to make sure she is getting ready for school. Ana is away on a publisher's conference, so I am on full kid duty for the next two days. I knock on her door but she doesn't answer. I am immediately annoyed since I expect my kids to answer anytime I call or knock for them. I knock harder and yell her name so that there is no way for her not to hear me. When I stop knocking I swear I can hear her whimpering. I grab the key from the top of her door and immediately unlock it. I need to know what is going on with my eleven year old daughter. When I see her, my demeanor changes. She is still in her pajamas and it is obvious that she's been crying._

_I have her sit on her bed and I put my arm around her to hug her. I rest my chin on the top of her head and rub my hand up and down her arm. I can tell she is trying to stop her crying. She sniffles and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, a habit she no doubt picked up from her mother._

"_Baby, what's wrong? Are you sick?"_

_She shakes her head and continues to wipe her nose and eyes with her hand. I reach over for her box of tissues and put one in her hand. Maybe she misses Ana. Her mother doesn't go away very often. It's usually me that has to travel, but I always make sure to cut my trips short. I hate being away from my family. I wait for her to calm down before I question her again._

"_Please, Peanut, tell me what's wrong."_

"_I want Mom."_

_Of course she wants her mother. The one thing that I cannot give her at the moment. "Baby, Mommy had to go to Chicago for work. She's coming home on Sunday." This makes her more upset and she starts to cry again. I tighten my arm around her and kiss her head a few times. "I'm sorry Baby. What can I do to make you feel better?"_

_She doesn't answer, so I just continue to hold her until she stops crying. When she does, she pulls away and takes some more tissues to her face, blowing her nose and drying her tears. I rub her back because that usually helps when she is upset about something. I decide to try again._

"_Can you tell me why you were crying? Maybe I can help."_

_She is reluctant to talk to me. This is a first. What can't she tell me? This is so frustrating, but I know that I need to keep my cool. I cannot lose my temper with her when I need her to open up to me. She is way too fragile for that. I continue to rub her back and wait for her to answer._

_She works on calming her breathing while she dries some more tears. I hate seeing her like this. I can't imagine what could be upsetting her. Is it someone at school? Is somebody bothering her? Did she get a bad grade? Whatever it is, surely it can't be something worth getting this upset over. Finally my patience pays off as she starts to talk. "I'm bleeding."_

_I start to feel panic. Bleeding? "Where are you bleeding? Show me."_

"_No!" She flinches and moves a few inches away from me._

_No? Why is she saying no? And why does she seem embarrassed? Suddenly it hits me. "Baby, were you in the bathroom when you saw that you were bleeding?" I keep my voice calm since this is such a sensitive subject. She nods her head but she doesn't look at me. This starts to make sense now. "Were you using the toilet?" She nods again and she becomes irritated._

"_It's on my underwear. Daddy, do I need to go to the hospital?" She becomes upset again and there are tears in her eyes. My poor baby girl. She really has no idea. I do my best to keep the smirk off my face as I pull her toward me again and keep my arm around her._

"_Baby, it's okay. We don't need to go to the hospital. There's nothing wrong with you."_

"_There isn't?"_

"_No" I kiss her head again and rub my hand up and down her arm. "Sounds to me like you got your period."_

_She pulls away slightly and looks up at me. "My what?"_

"_Your period" I say it again and almost don't believe it. Fuck, she's only eleven years old. She'll be twelve next month, but still. Ana was planning to talk with her about this when she turned twelve, and we received a notice from school letting us know that they would be talking to the kids about it sometime in November. Phoebe's cycle had other ideas and has decided to make an early appearance._

"_I don't know what that is" she says as she looks away from me. How do I even begin to explain this to her? I know I need to say something, but I don't want her to know too much. Not yet. I want my Ana. "Daddy?"_

_I snap out of it and look at my daughter. She's so young, my little girl. This shouldn't be happening to her already. But it is, and she needs me. "Peanut, Mom was going to talk to you about this after your birthday. We didn't expect this to happen until after that. I don't want you to worry. There is nothing wrong with you, I promise."_

"_Then what is it? Why am I bleeding?"_

_I look at her again and I'm met with curious eyes. I sigh and then try to explain this to her the best way I can. "Every month for about five days you will bleed like that. It happens to all women. It's called your period. And it happens because you are growing up and your body is changing. Do you remember when Mom and I talked to you about how babies grow in the mother's tummy?" She nods to let me know that she understands. "Well, you bleed like that because you don't have a baby in your tummy. But your body is starting to mature now so that it is ready for when you are old enough to have a baby. Does that make sense?" She nods again but this time it is slowly. I don't want to tell her too much. I want her to be able to talk to Ana about this. She needs to be able to ask her questions about her body and how it is changing. But for now, she has me. I need to be here for her. "Do…. Do you have any questions?"_

"_What do I do? Just bleed and let it ruin my clothes?"_

_I have to work hard to suppress my amusement. Of all of the questions, that is the one she asks. "No, Peanut. I need to go and get something from my bathroom. Will you be okay for a moment?" She nods. I kiss her head again before I leave to retrieve something of Ana's. When I return I show her a bag of pads that Ana keeps to wear overnight. Ana can talk to her about wearing tampons. I draw the line there. "Here, you can have these. Keep them in your bathroom and a few in your school bag. You can wear these to keep your clothes clean."_

_She takes the bag from me and reads through some of the things written. She looks reluctant. "You'll probably have more questions. When Mom comes home, she will talk to you more about this. And I'll try to answer your questions too." She nods again and looks over at me._

"_Can I stay home today?"_

"_Why, is your stomach bothering you?" I forgot to even ask her that. Ana's been lucky in that she never really had cramps during her period, but Mia had them bad. Mom would allow her to stay home from school because the pain was so great. I'm relieved when she shakes her head._

"_No, I'm just nervous about going to school like this. What if other people find out?"_

_I am at a loss. I can't let her stay home from school every month when she gets her period simply because she's afraid other kids will find out. But maybe I can make an exception, just for today. After all, she just got her period and didn't have her mother here for comfort and support. I look at her pleading eyes. I hate it when she looks at me like that. It makes it very difficult to say no._

"_Okay. You can stay home. Change into some clean underwear and pajamas and meet me downstairs for breakfast."_

_I'm met with a grateful smile, and I'm grateful myself for getting through this. I had the whole puberty talk with Teddy a few years ago, but that was different. That was easy for me, not so much for him. It is much more difficult when it is my little girl. Speaking of Teddy, I look at my watch and realize that I need to get Dovis to drive him to school._

"_Daddy?" she stops me before I can leave her room._

"_Yes Peanut?"_

"_Don't tell Teddy" she says and looks at me nervously._

_I offer a light smile. "I'm not going to tell anybody. But, is it okay if I tell Mom?"_

_She nods. I would have mentioned it to Ana anyway so that she can start preparing for what she will say to our daughter. But I'm relieved that I have her blessing to do so. I'm sure I would be doing her a favor by telling her mother so she wouldn't have to._

_**Thank you for the continued reviews and support. I appreciate it greatly! I know I won't please everyone and not everyone will agree with my decisions. That's okay. I'm still writing and love being able to explore and share this story on fanfiction. Happy Reading!**_


	29. Fifty in Miami

Ana's POV

Day four of our family vacation. The last time we took a vacation I felt thin and sexy in a bikini. I was full of energy. But right now, I feel like a fat injured cow. I'm really not that big yet, it could just all be in my head. It doesn't help that I am sitting poolside in my bathing suit and cover up with an ace bandage wrapped around my wrist. It isn't broken, just strained. I fell down this morning as we were leaving the dining area after breakfast. We had flown into Miami early this morning, checked in and then took in some breakfast while our luggage was sent up to our suite. As we were walking through the lounge that led to the elevators, I lost my balance and fell down two steps. Christian of course was horrified. He immediately bounced into action and had the hotel doctor check me over. I had a cut on my knee and my wrist was sore. X-rays were taken and we were both relieved to find out that it wasn't broken. I'd rather not be injured at all, but I suppose I should be grateful that it isn't worse.

I can't pick up my baby girl or swim while my wrist is sore. I'll also need to be careful while in bed with my Fifty tonight. I hate knowing that he will want to take it easy tonight with my injury. I was looking forward to some of our kinky fuckery since we are in Miami, and we will have our own room to sleep in. Our suite has three bedrooms and two bathrooms, perfect for our current family of five. Teddy will take one room, the girls will take the other, and Christian and I will take the master. Our security is occupying a few of the rooms that are close to our suite. Carrick and Grace were so gracious to offer their vacation home to us, but we declined since we wanted to stay in South Beach where the shops and restaurants are. This hotel has the convenience of a gym and spa, indoor and outdoor wait staff, pool and beach access, evening entertainment, and of course room service.

Christian had ordered a virgin Pina Colada for me without my knowledge. The waitress had brought it over to me and assured me that there is no alcohol in it. My husband can be so sweet. I know he did it to cheer me up. I also have a glass of water, which the waitress keeps filling for me. My husband insists that I stay hydrated since we are out in the summer heat. Right now I have the umbrella shading me from the sun's rays. It feels so good to sit in the sun, but it had gotten too hot. I needed a break from it.

I've been watching my kids play in the pool, all four of them. Teddy and Phoebe have been taking shots at the basketball hoop. Christian has been tossing Natalie up in the air and catching her as she hits the water. I can't get enough of the sound of her laugh. It is music to my ears. I hate being stuck sitting out on the fun, but the sight before me just brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

My mind takes me back to a time when we were here with Teddy and Phoebe. Teddy had just turned eleven and Phoebe was eight. There was a basketball hoop at the poolside then too. Teddy was making a lot of great shots, but Phoebe wasn't able to make any. She grew upset and even started to cry since Teddy could make several baskets and she couldn't even make one. The hoop was slightly high over the pool water in the five feet deep area and out of her reach, so she couldn't even make a shot when she attempted it up close. That is when my Fifty jumped on the scene. He swam over to her and surprised her by coming up underneath her so that she was sitting on his shoulders. He told Teddy to pass the ball and kept her on his shoulders until she was able to make a few baskets. Phoebe was so happy. I can remember the smile on her face when she finally made her first basket, even if it was with a little help. I can remember how proud and pleased Christian was with himself for making her feel better. Even Teddy was happy about it. It was definitely a joy to see. After that, we decided to play two on two. Teddy was on my team and Phoebe was with her father. I don't remember who actually won, but it doesn't matter.

I sip my Pina Colada and watch as my husband brings Natalie out of the pool and removes her vest. Even at forty nine he is still as sexy as he was at twenty seven with his perfect abs and athletic build. His copper hair and blue swim trunks are dripping wet. He looks like he just stepped out of a sexy swimsuit add. He picks up our daughter and carries her over to me. I get her towel ready and open it for her. He places her in front of me on the lounge chair and I wrap the towel around her, giving her a squeeze as I do it. She starts to shiver. The shade can be pretty chilly when you are wet.

"Can you bring down the umbrella" I ask my husband. He happily obliges. As soon as the warm sun hits us my baby girl stops shivering and relaxes against my chest. "Did you have fun with Daddy in the pool?" I ask her and she nods. It is her nap time, which is probably why Christian brought her over to me. Even without wearing his watch he knows what time it is. At first I think he will go back into the pool with our other kids, but he surprises me when he takes the lounge chair next to mine and orders himself a drink.

"Don't you want to go back in the pool?" I ask him. He shakes his head.

"I will, but for now I want to lounge with my wife." He smiles at me. My, how I love this man. "How's your wrist?" I frown. I knew that was coming.

"It's still a little sore. I'll take some more medicine when we're back in the room." Unfortunately the only medicine I can take is Tylenol, which isn't very strong, but it's something. I'll just have to do my best to rest it like the doctor told me to. I guide Natalie up the chair so that she is resting her head on my chest. I stroke her wet hair as she starts to nod off. "We should put a dry diaper on her before she falls asleep" I say to my husband. He agrees and retrieves one of our bags from behind the chair. He helps me change her out of her wet bathing suit and swim diaper and into a dry diaper and cover up. He then helps her settle next to me and she is instantly asleep.

"Do you want me to take her, put her on another chair?" he asks me when he notices that she is out.

I smile and stroke her wet hair again. "No, I like having her cuddle with me." The waitress brings Christian's drink and he relaxes in his chair. We watch the kids in silence as they continue to play with the basketball and hoop.

I relax and my mind takes me back to yesterday while we were in Disney. We had visited Epcot for the first part of the day, and then spent the rest of the day in Magic Kingdom. We tried to squeeze in as many rides as possible. We took advantage of Fast Pass for some of the rides and stood in long lines for the others.

Christian had the task of standing in line with Natalie for the Dumbo ride. I remember he had to do that with Phoebe when she was little and there was no Fast Pass for any of the rides. It's a real shame to stand in line for over an hour, only to enjoy a ride that lasts about three minutes. Christian had to hold Natalie for most of the hour. A two year old can only stand for so long. She had behaved really well during our vacation, Christian just couldn't say no to going on that ride with her. He graciously stood in line with the other parents and screaming kids.

He held Natalie to his chest and I watched from afar as they had a conversation. Christian never told me what they were talking about, but I can tell whatever it was he was amused by it. When they were finally on the ride, it was well worth it to see my baby girl's face. She loved it, and of course she was sad when the ride was over. She wanted to ride again, but Christian had managed to focus her attention on the next few rides, Small World and Peter Pan's Flight.

We didn't have to wait in a long line for Small World. I know it wasn't Christian's thing, but he would do anything for his kids. He took Natalie on that ride again later in the day while I walked with Teddy and Phoebe to some rides that they wanted to go on. It was times like that when I appreciated having security with us. Somebody to talk to while my husband and kids were on rides. We met up again and went on the Carousel of Progress. All three of my kids liked that ride. We couldn't get that song out of our heads. _'There's a great big beautiful tomorrow, shining at the end of every day.' _ I chuckle as I realize that the song is still in my head.

"Something amusing you?" Christian asks me, pulling me out of my day dream.

"I was just thinking about Disney" I tell him, and he smiles. You can't think of our kids in Disney and not smile. We had a wonderful time. It was difficult to leave, but I know we will enjoy our time in Miami, relaxing during the day and dining at night. "What were you and Natalie talking about, when you were in line for Dumbo?"

He looks at me puzzled for a moment as though not understanding the question. "When we were in line for Dumbo?" he asks me. It seems he is avoiding the question, but I'm not sure why.

"Yes, you were both talking" I tell him, and he shakes his head. "And whatever she said made you smile."

"Baby, everything that comes out of that child's mouth makes me smile. But I don't remember what we were talking about."

I find this hard to believe and I feel myself getting frustrated, angry even. "How can you not remember? It was just yesterday."

Christian can see that I am frustrated and his eyes and facial expression soften. "Ana, I'm sorry but Natalie says a lot of things lately. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about when we were in line for Dumbo."

I don't accept this and I start to pout.

"Don't pout" he tells me, which only fuels my anger.

"I'll pout if I want to" I snap back. Oh boy, it's very rare that I snap at my husband like this. I'm sure I'll pay for it later. I expect him to glare at me for my defiance, but instead he nods and finishes his drink. He stands and removes the towel from around his waist. "Where are you going?" I ask him angrily. _Whoa, Calm down Mrs Grey._

"I'm going to use the restroom" he says calmly. "And then I'm going to join our kids in the pool." He walks behind me and puts the umbrella up again to shade me and Natalie from the sun. He then leaves me alone with my thoughts. What just happened?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Rather than argue with my wife, I decide to walk away, but not before raising the umbrella. Ana shouldn't spend too much time in the sun, and I don't want my wife and daughter to get a sunburn. I know that walking away isn't a practical solution to our problems, but in this case it is the only thing I can do to not fuel her anger even more. I am quite capable of doing that with my own temper, and getting her upset is not good for her or our babies.

I'm not quite sure what my wife is upset about, but I plan to talk with her about it later when we are both calm. I remember from her previous pregnancies that she can grow easily upset and frustrated at the smallest things. And once confronted with those things, she would feel completely ridiculous and then upset for being upset. I've been able to learn patience over the years, between seeing my wife through three pregnancies and having an emotionally fragile daughter. But I also lose my temper at times.

After leaving the rest room I join my kids in the pool. We spend some time playing basketball with the poolside hoop. I have to laugh when Phoebe mentions that the hoop doesn't seem as high as it used to be. She's still petite but not quite as short as she was when she was eight. We take turns shooting and I find that my kids are quite good at it. Teddy challenges us to a game of 'Horse', and of course he wins. We've never put our kids in organized sports, but they have had some experience with playing sports with friends and in gym class. Phoebe takes a break from the pool and tells me she's going to sit in the sun. I remind her to put lotion on. I know she wants to roll her eyes at me, but instead she just lightly smiles and nods. Teddy and I stay in the pool and swim some laps. We race a few times and I come out on top. He might have taken me at a game of 'Horse', but I will always come out on top when it comes to swimming.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I take the lounge chair next to my mother after taking her umbrella down. Natalie is asleep next to her, but she is covered up and safe from the sun. I dry off and rub some lotion on myself. I would like to get a tan, but I know Dad would have an ulcer if I get so much as a spot of sunburn. I notice that my mother seems upset, but when I ask her about it she says she is fine. I don't believe her, but I know better than to press the matter further. If something is up with Mom, I'm sure Dad will press it out of her and do everything possible to make her better.

I sit and lie down on the lounge chair next to her. Each chair has a big comfy cushion. I could fall asleep out here. I look down at my two piece bathing suit, still amazed that Dad would allow me to wear something like this out in public. He's never been a fan of me showing so much skin. I'm usually made to wear a one piece bathing suit anytime we visit a vacation spot. This is a first.

"Mom, did Dad really pick this out for me?" I ask her. This is one of the bathing suits that my parents had bought for me when they announced that we were taking a vacation.

She gives me her loving motherly smile as she strokes Natalie's hair. "Yes. It took some arm twisting for me to convince him that it was time to let you wear a two piece bathing suit on vacation. I reminded him that you'll be eighteen soon and that there are some things that he'll need to compromise on."

"I'm sure he wasn't too thrilled about that" I saw sardonically.

"No, he wasn't" she confirms. "Neither of us is thrilled with you and Teddy growing up so fast. But we know we can't stop you." She reaches over and puts her hand on my arm, and I look back at her. "Just please allow us to go along for the ride. You are still our kids."

I smile at her as she pulls her arm away. Of course I'll want my parents with me along for the ride. Other kids can't wait to get away from their parents, but not me. A big part of me will always need them. And I'm relieved to know that that is okay.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Teddy's POV

Once we are in our suite, I quickly shower and then skype with Rebecca. I am having a great time with my family. I rarely get to see them so I know I desperately needed this week to reconnect with them. But I am missing my girl. I've become used to being with her every day. This week has helped me appreciate my family even more, and also appreciate my girlfriend more. She appears on my computer screen and I feel myself melt. My body misses hers. I miss her voice, her touch, her smell, her lips. I miss all of her.

"Hi Baby" I say to her. Wow, I sound so desperate. _Easy there, Teddy_.

"Hi" she says back to me. I've missed her voice. It's only been a few days. I can't believe I miss her this much. "How's my man doing in Florida?"

"Missing you" I admit. "But I'm having a good time. I really needed this time with my family. How's your Dad?"

She sighs and rolls her eyes. "He's so overbearing. He won't let me do anything. He's just as bad as you."

"Careful" I warn her, and then I manage to smile. "He just loves you baby, as do I. We both know you well and we know you will push yourself beyond your limits."

"You know my limits too well, Teddy Grey" she says to me teasingly.

"That I do. And I look forward to the day that I can start testing them again. But not a moment too soon, you hear?"

"Yes Sir" she says to me, and I immediately feel myself harden. What is this girl doing to me? "I wouldn't want to jeopardize my health. I want to make myself good and strong and ready for my man. I'm just so grateful that you are playing this waiting game with me."

"Baby, I would do anything for you. You know that." The truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way. This is the girl that I want, no one else. I can't believe I am feeling this way at my age. I'm only twenty, but this girl has managed to weasel her way into my heart over the past two and an half years.

"I would do anything for you too. I love you Teddy."

"I love you too."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

After we get Natalie bathed, Ana showers while I dress Natalie and have her sit in Phoebe's room with her toys. While I would love to join my wife in the shower, I am trying to give her some space. I check my blackberry and it is full of emails. I manage to get through some of them before I hear my wife call for me. I immediately toss the blackberry on the bed and walk into the bathroom to see what she needs. I slide the shower door open and see that she is upset again, and all I want to do is take her in my arms and comfort her. But I know she doesn't want that. "What's wrong, Baby?"

She shakes her head. I think she's embarrassed. I reach my hand into the shower and gently stroke her arm, coaxing her to talk to me. "Can you wash my hair?" she asks me tearfully. I nod and remove my swim trunks. When I step into the shower with her I slide the door shut and am surprised when she buries her head in my chest. I rub my hands up and down her back as she sobs, shushing her and telling her that everything's okay. Once she is calm, she moves away from me and allows me to wash her hair. She then allows me to wash all of her. I take my time lathering her up, cherishing each and every inch of her body, planting light kisses on her shoulders. I'm careful when it comes time to wash her left arm and wrist. She doesn't flinch or try to pull her hand away from me. She trusts me, and that means the world to me, to have my wife trust me implicitly. Even after being married to her for twenty one years, I am still amazed about how much this woman loves and trusts me. I continue to gently wash her, and I'm awarded when she crushes her lips into mine. There is so much need in her kiss, and I feel a wave of guilt wash over me along with the shower water. She needed me this afternoon, and I chose to walk away from her. I was trying to avoid a fight, but maybe walking way was a mistake. I respond to her kiss and move her so that her back is against the shower wall. I lift her leg onto my hip and then pull out of the kiss. I look down at her and wait for her permission. She nods, and then I gently make love to her under the shower water.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I feel so much better after having a shower, and of course having my wonderful husband make love to me. We are both seated on the bed and he is gently towel drying my hair. I love the feel of his hands on me and in my hair. It almost allows me to forget about the near breakdown I had earlier, but he hasn't forgotten. After he's done with my hair, he moves so that he is seated on the bed in front of me.

"Can we talk about what happened earlier?" he asks me. I almost don't' want to, since he's put me in such a good mood. But I know that we have to. I would be such a hypocrite since I've pushed him so many times during our marriage to communicate with me. I nod but I don't make eye contact with him. He gently places his hand under my chin and gets me to look at him. His beautiful face is filled with remorse, but he has nothing to be sorry about. I take his hand with my right hand and use my thumb to stroke it. "I'm sorry I upset you" he says softly.

"Christian, you have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one that should be." I look down again, feeling shame for the feelings I had earlier.

"Why?"

I inhale and exhale sharply, working hard to fight the tears that are threatening. "Sometimes when I watch you with our kids, I get jealous." He looks at me puzzled, so I know I need to keep talking. "That's why I wanted you to tell me what you and Natalie were talking about. I felt left out since I wasn't standing in line with you. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching my life from the outside when I see you with our kids, and I can't help wanting to be part of every little conversation and every little joke." He reaches over and wipes a tear away that has escaped from my eye, making me feel even more guilty for feeling this way. He is showing so much compassion. "I'm not used to being away from Natalie. She's with me all the time. I get her up most mornings, I take her to work with me, put her down for her naps, I sing to her when she's sad." I shake my head, not believing the jealously I am feeling. "And then I watch you with her, and I feel like you have a much stronger bond with her."

Christian moves so that he is sitting up straight, and I can tell that he is suppressing a smile. He shakes his head and he loses the battle with that. I start to feel annoyed. "Am I amusing you?"

"No, Sweetheart." He takes my uninjured hand into both of his and brings it to his lips, kissing the side of my hand tenderly. "You have no idea, Baby."

"What?"

Now he sighs. "When Teddy was born, I felt like you had a bond with him that I would never have. And I was right." Now I look at him puzzled. "Think about it, you carried him for nine months, you breast fed him, you had him with you at home for your maternity leave and then you took him to work with you every day. You were the one he wanted when he was upset or scared."

"He wanted his Daddy too" I say to him, trying to make him feel better.

"I know, but it wasn't the same. And then when Phoebe came along, it was the same. I felt like I needed to work harder because she was a girl. With Teddy, I was able to bond with him over toy cars and trains and outdoor stuff, but I knew Phoebe would want to talk to you about clothes and make-up and shoes… and all kinds of girl stuff."

"That's funny, because I always felt you had a much stronger bond with Phoebe" I tell him, and surprisingly I smile about it. "You got on the floor and played with dolls and tea sets with her. You were the one that stopped her from crying and settled her when she was colicky. And you were the one she wanted when she was upset or scared." Suddenly something occurs to me, and I need to ask him about it. "Is that why you insisted on taking care of the overnight feedings and changings?"

He hesitates for a moment and then looks into my eyes, gray in blue. "Yes" That makes sense now, how he could give up his sleep each night to take care of them and never complain about it. "You got them during the day, and I got them at night. And the fact that you got to have uninterrupted sleep for most of the nights was a plus." I smile at him, always the thoughtful one.

"I never knew" I say to him softly. "I feel so silly about this, you know."

"You feel silly for being jealous?" I nod and give him a sheepish smile. "Well don't, because I've always felt jealous too. It just never occurred to me that you would be jealous of my bond with our kids. I was always just grateful to have any kind of bond with them."

"You are great with them" I tell him, and I can see doubt in his eyes. I don't think that will ever go away. I wish he could see what I see, how terrific and wonderful he is. He kisses my hand again, and just like that our conversation is over. He disappears into the bathroom for a moment and then returns with the ace bandage. I watch as he carefully wraps it around my wrist and secures it with two pins.

"Is that alright?" he asks me, and I nod. "Not too tight?" I shake my head and proceed to get myself ready. We are leaving in a few minutes to have dinner and I'm not even dressed. He gets himself dressed while I do my makeup, and then he must see me struggle with my dress because he is by my side instantly helping me into it. "How's that?"

"Thank you" I say softly and then kiss him. He then picks the comb up off of the vanity and finds a hair tie.

"Would you like a braid?" I bite my lip and nod, grateful for my husband having the forethought to do my hair for me. I watch in the mirror has he combs my hair back neatly and then twists three parts of my hair into a braid. Once he's finished he plants a few kisses on my shoulder. "You are so beautiful, Ana."

I moan at the sound of his voice and the feel of his lips on my skin. "You're not so bad yourself." I feel his hand leave my hip and then a swift slap on my backside, which cause me to yelp.

"Not so bad?" I can't help but giggle at his playfulness. I love this man so much.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Once we are ready to go, we collect the kids and head out of the hotel. We are immediately stopped for a family photo. I look at Ana and she nods, so the five of us pose and smile for the camera. I'm sure the photo will end up in People magazine or something, but Ana and I have gotten used to that over the years. Anytime we travel we are stopped for a photo. People seem to be interested in where we travel and what we are doing.

We walk a few blocks down Lincoln Road, followed by some of our security, and we pass several shops and restaurants. Although we have Natalie's stroller with us, I've decided not to bring it since there probably won't be any place to put it while we dine. I carry her for most of the way until we reach our destination. It is a fine Italian establishment with tables outside. We are seated by the fountain and immediately served bread and water. The waiter comes back in less than five minutes and takes our dinner orders. The conversation is light as we relax and sip on our beverages. There are a few musicians going table to table and taking requests. The atmosphere is calm, relaxed and friendly, just how I like it.

The waiter brings our food and I am impressed. I can tell Ana and the kids are too. We didn't need to wait long, and the food is delicious. The meal portions are perfect, not too little and not too much. We haven't eaten since lunch, so I know that everyone must be hungry. Teddy is going to town with his dinner while the girls take their time. I cut Natalie's food for her and then leave her to it. She seems to do better with eating when nobody is paying attention to her. I reach under the table and place my hand on Ana's knee. She looks up at me and I smile at her. She is wearing a green strapless maternity dress and she looks amazing. She and Phoebe are both wearing black ballet flats, perfect for the walking that we have to do.

After dinner, we walk around and take in some of the shops. Teddy purchases a beautiful necklace for Rebecca. Ana and Phoebe buy some earrings that they like. Teddy sees a necklace that he likes for himself and buys it, while Phoebe buys a similar necklace for Trevor. I buy a pair of sunglasses for myself. We have a hard time finding something for Natalie since she's so little. She decides that she wants a stuffed dolphin, so we buy that for her.

After some shopping, we stop for some ice cream. We find a table outside to sit and enjoy our ice cream while we rest our feet. "Sit on you lap" Natalie says to me, but I tell her she can sit on my lap when we are finished with our ice cream. I change my mind when she starts to cry. It is eight thirty and past her bed time. I sit her on my lap and help her with a few more spoonfuls of her ice cream. I eat some more of my own and then notice that she has fallen asleep, clutching her new dolphin. I cuddle her while we sit for a while, watching the people walk by and watching the musicians play. Teddy and Phoebe are having their own conversation. I'm not really listening to them. Ana places her hand on my knee and immediately grabs my attention. She looks tired. "Ready to go, Baby?" She nods, and with that we are on our way back to our hotel.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

Christian and I spoon in bed after making love for the second time today. His arm is wrapped around me and his nose is in my hair. I am so tired after taking a short but early flight this morning, sitting lazily at the poolside and then walking up and down Lincoln Road. But as tired as I am, sleep has not found me. My mind is going over the events of today. I can't believe how upset I got with Christian. Was I this emotional during my other pregnancies? How many times has he had to calm me down and make me realize how ridiculous I was being when my hormones took center stage? How many arguments has he let slide in order to placate me?

I think about the events that led up to my near breakdown. I had asked him about his conversation with Natalie. I wanted to know what she was saying to him. I always want to know what she is saying. I hate missing even a second of her life. But I know I was overreacting. It's not like I missed her first steps or her first words. It's unreasonable to think that I can be by her side every second of every day. There will be things that I miss and I must make my peace with that, otherwise I will just make myself crazy. I try to relax and coax myself to find sleep, but I am still finding it difficult.

"She was talking about Tangled" I hear my husband say sleepily.

"What?"

"While we were in line for Dumbo, she was telling me about Rapunzel, and how she wanted to have hair as long as hers and never cut it."

I smile giddily. I can just imagine my baby girl saying something like that. "We're going to have to talk her out of that." I close my eyes, and just like that sleep finds me. I drift off with the smile still set on my face.


	30. Fifty Family Barbeque

Christian's POV

We arrive at Bellevue for an end of summer family barbeque. My parents wanted to have us over since Teddy will be leaving for school today and all of their grandkids will be busy once their schooling starts. I cannot believe how fast this summer just flew by. It feels like Teddy was only here for a few weeks, while it was really a few months. We'll see him again once or twice before Thanksgiving.

I am so proud of him for getting into Harvard, living at school and caring for his girlfriend as they both work hard to keep up with their classes. I dropped out of Harvard, so it is nice to see my son accomplish something that I have given up on. He and Phoebe are both aware that I had dropped out. I felt it was only right to tell them that about me. I want them both to have a college education and I've made that perfectly clear. But I also told them that if they find that it is not for them, I would still love and support the decisions that they make, as long as they work hard at what they want to do.

We walk through the house and toward the backyard to greet everyone. We are about an hour late since we had a late start today. We had arrived home from Florida around midnight and it was straight to bed for everyone. I was too riled to sleep, so I stayed up and played the piano for a bit. I'm paying for it now because I am exhausted. I'm not as young as I used to be. I think about the twins growing inside my beautiful wife. Our babies. I hope I can handle the overnight feedings and changings at my age. I used to be able to function on very little sleep, but lately I've been dragging. Natalie doesn't need me as much in the late night or early morning hours anymore. I always get up and check on her once or twice and most of the time she is sound asleep. There have only been a few occasions lately where she'd be awake and in need of a dry diaper or a reassuring hug. But then she would go right back to sleep. She's always been a good sleeper, so Ana and I were not at all worried about getting her out of her crib and into a toddler bed when she turned two. She doesn't get out of bed without us, even in the morning.

I put my arm around my wife and my other hand on her stomach. "You doing okay Baby?"

She smiles at me. "Doing just fine Mr Grey."

We watch as Natalie is greeted by Kate and Mia. She is being shy and tries to disappear through my legs. Kate gives Ana a hug and asks about her bandaged wrist as I squat down to be a Natalie's level. I encourage her to say hello to Mia, and she does, but very softly. Her fingers have found their way into her mouth. I'm trying to help her break the habit so I gently take her wrist and pull her arm down to her side. "I think Aunt Mia wants a hug" I whisper into her ear. She lightly smiles and walks forward into Mia's open arms.

"Hello Sweetie" she says happily and I can't help but match her smile. "Sophie's so excited to see you. Can I take you outside to see her?"

Natalie looks back at me for permission and I nod. "You can go. I'll be with you in a few minutes." We stand and I hug Mia before she leads my daughter out into the backyard, and then I feel Kate's hand on my arm. I lean down and give her kiss on the cheek. "Hello Kate, how is my brother doing?"

"He's fine, he and Ava have been getting along much better."

"Glad to hear it" Ana says. I watch Kate take my wife's arm into hers and start to lead her away. "Come on, everyone's out back."

We follow Kate, or rather I follow Kate as she practically drags my wife into the yard. "Kate, take it easy" I admonish her, only for her to glare at me momentarily. Ana just shrugs her shoulders. When we reach the yard I see the kids running around with a soccer ball. Ethan is trying to show Natalie how to kick. Unlike us, Mia and Ethan have put their kids in organized sports. They seem to like it, but every week I hear about injury after injury. Mia has already signed all three of her kids up for soccer this fall. She tried to talk me into signing Natalie up, but Ana and I have decided to put her in ballet instead. I still think she's too young for that, but Miss Alana told us that she starts kids at two.

We settle on the patio seats in the shade as we watch the kids play. After a few minutes my parents make an appearance and greet us. I stand and hug my mother after kissing her cheek. She then hugs Ana and asks her how she is feeling. Ana explains to my parents that she fell at our hotel and strained her wrist. She goes on to tell my mother about some of the silly cravings she's been having. Mostly things with pickles or peanut butter. I couldn't eat those things, but I make sure that we stock up on the usual things that she craves. Elliot joins us and brings a beer for me and a bottled water for Ana. He has Cameron in his other arm and quickly has to put him down when he whines and kicks at him. As soon as he's put down he runs to join the other kids.

The conversation is light as we watch the kids. Natalie is having a good time kicking the ball around, but when it comes to giving someone else a turn she has a hard time. I start to stand but Ana grabs my arm. I don't like when she does that so I immediately shoot her a glare. I need to correct our daughter's behavior. "Ethan's got it covered" she says. And she's right. I look over at the kids again and can see that Sophie is taking a turn, and Natalie isn't throwing a fit. I suppose that is progress. Natalie isn't very good at the sharing thing yet. Now that she will be spending more time with Sophie, she'll get plenty of practice.

A few minutes later we hear one of the kids scream and cry. "That's mine" Elliot says as he gets to his feet and rushes over to the kids. We look over and see Cameron sitting on the ground and crying. He must have been hit with the soccer ball. Ethan is trying to soothe him as Elliot gets to him and takes over. I watch as my brother sits on the ground and holds his son. Natalie is by his side as well and she tries to help by rubbing his head while the other kids continue to kick the ball around. My baby girl. Ana and I are going to have to start talking to her about these twins that are coming. I put my arm around my wife and she smiles at me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I like coming to Bellevue for family parties. But this one is kind of sad. It is the end of summer, which means Teddy will be leaving for Harvard and we will be starting school. It means the warm weather will wither and it will become chilly and cold. I don't realize I'm frowning until Trevor sits on the blanket next to me and puts his arm around me.

"Why so glum?" he asks me.

I offer a light smile and lean my head on his shoulder. "I don't know. I guess I'm sad about summer being over. We'll be starting school soon."

"Yeah, but we'll be starting our senior year. This is going to be a great year." He is excited, but I'm not.

"It is?"

"Of course it is. We'll be seniors. We'll have senior trip, senior prom, we'll be applying to colleges…." This makes my mood even more glum. "I guess you haven't thought about what you want to do."

I pull away slightly and look down at the blanket. "I have actually. I'm thinking of going into medicine."

I look at him and see the growing smile on his face. "Really?" I know it's because he will be studying medicine too. In all honestly, my decision has nothing to do with Trevor wanting to go to medical school. But if it works out that we go to college together, that will be a bonus. I smile back at him.

"Yeah. I'm not really sure about where I want to go to college, but I'm pretty sure I want to study medicine."

Trevor puts his arm around me again and it feels good. I lean into him again and he puts his other arm around me. "You're tired" he says as he kisses my head. "Here, lie down." He moves so that he is sitting with his legs straight in front of him and he encourages me to rest my head in his lap. I oblige and feel his fingers in my hair. He strokes my hair in silence, and before I know it I am out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Teddy's POV

I arrive at Bellevue late with Rebecca. I had my parents and sisters go ahead of me so that I could have a quick reunion with my girl and then pack all of her things into the SUV, with Ryan's help of course. We will be going straight to the airport from my grandparents' house. I push her wheelchair through the house and into the backyard. My grandparents don't have a ramp, so I lift her out of her chair and carry her over to the patio where my parents, aunts and grandparents are relaxing with drinks. My uncles are playing with the kids. I'm sure Rebecca is embarrassed about being carried, but I don't mind it so much. I like having her in my arms. The doctor told her not to be on her feet until she starts her therapy, which she will be doing next week once we are back at school.

We greet everyone on the patio and then proceed to another area of the yard where Phoebe, Trevor, Ava and Nathan are laying out on a huge blanket. "Is this blanket taken?" I ask jokingly. Ava sits up and removes her sunglasses. After I put Rebecca down she takes me into a tight hug. Ava and I have always gotten along famously, but other than family parties we haven't really been hanging out. I look over at my sister and realize that she is asleep. "Nathan" I say as I shake his hand. I then shake Trevor's hand and feel the need to tease him. "Aren't we the life of the party?"

Trevor smiles and looks down at my sister. He gently strokes her hair but she doesn't wake up. She must really be tired. I sit with my girl and we talk about Florida. I'd like to take her there someday when she is back on her feet. I'd like to take her to all the places I've visited, and I really hope I get to.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

Trevor shakes my shoulder awake and I slowly sit up. I rub my eyes and can feel more eyes on me. I turn to see Ava, Nathan, Teddy and Rebecca looking at me and smiling.

"Well good morning sunshine!" Teddy says.

I start to feel embarrassed. "I'm sorry, how long was I out?"

"Not long" Trevor says and then kisses my forehead. "Your grandmother announced that the food is served so we're going to take a walk over to the buffet."

"Oh" I start to stand but he stops me.

"No, you stay here. What would you like? I'll get it for you." I smile at my boyfriend. He is so attentive, just like he was on the road trip. He knew that I was nervous about being away from home so he was always making sure I had what I needed. I start to feel shy about it, since we haven't really been back together that long. I know he picks up on it. He squats down to be at my level. "Please let me get it for you. I think there is barbeque chicken over there."

I put my hand on top of his. "That sounds perfect. Thank you." I lean up and give him a peck on the lips before he stands and walks toward the buffet.

I'm left with Rebecca since Teddy will be bringing her food and Ava insisted on getting her own. She scoots over so that she is sitting closer to me. "How was Florida? Did you have a good time?" Her tone is that of a woman talking to a child, not a teen talking to another teen. I catch myself glaring and immediately shake my head and change my facial expression. I've always liked Rebecca, but why the tone? "Phoebe, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" I nod and try to sound convincing. The truth is, I'm not sure what I think of Rebecca now after finding out how she and my brother spend their personal time. This is so awkward. Maybe she feels it too.

"Listen, Teddy told me you found the box."

"The box?" She looks at me as though to say 'come on'. "Oh yeah, the box." I look at anything but her. This is so embarrassing.

"Phoebe, I didn't bring it up to make you uncomfortable. I just want to make sure that you're okay. I know that finding that stuff must've shocked you."

"Yeah, that's an understatement" I say sardonically, but I really don't mean to be so rude to her right now. This is so awkward.

"I love your brother" she says, and her voice is so soft and loving. I can't help but look at her now. "And he loves me too. I don't want things to be awkward with you and your brother or with you and me. So I brought it up because I want you to know that you can ask me questions. I know you don't want to ask Teddy questions and I'm pretty sure you don't want to talk to your parents about it either. I mean, maybe you talk to Ava about these things, I don't know." I think she's just rambling now, but I get it. She's trying to be nice and make things okay. "But if you want to talk to me you can. Okay?"

I nod. "Thanks. But, can we talk about something else?"

She looks at me and smiles, and we both laugh. This is good, definitely not as awkward anymore since we're both laughing. When I stop laughing I look at her again. "You're really good for my brother. I know that you make him happy."

I think she's taken aback by this because she hesitates before she speaks. "Thank you. That means a lot, Phoebe."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

After we have lunch, the kids run off and play some more while we relax. I love days like this, just sitting around with family, nice cool weather, casual dress and easy conversation. Christian takes my uninjured hand and kisses it. I will never tire of this man's loving gestures. He continues to hold my hand, and then he squeezes it. I look over at him and can tell that he wants to say something. When I don't register what he is thinking he reaches over and puts his hand on my baby bump. I feel like it is growing more and more every day. Suddenly it occurs to me what he wants. I nod and smile excitedly.

Christian stands and has everyone's attention. Rather than have me stand with him, he sits down and takes my hand again. "Ana and I have some news we'd like to share" he says as he looks into my eyes. All eyes are on him now but his are on me.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense, Grey. What is it?" I'm waiting for Christian to shoot a glare in Kate's direction, but instead he keeps his eyes on me. For a moment I feel like we are in our bubble with nobody else around. I definitely wouldn't mind some bubble time with my husband, but here we sit, surrounded by family complete with parents, brothers, sisters and kids. And we will be adding two more to that fold.

At first I think that Christian is just going to come out with his announcement, but instead he starts with a lead in. "Twenty one years ago, this beautiful woman fell into my office and completely changed my life forever. She had opened my eyes to so many things that I had been blind to. We fell in love, conquered some fears, and survived forces that wanted to keep us apart. This woman married me and gave me three beautiful children. And I didn't think I could be happier. But recently I was proven wrong, when at a recent doctor's appointment, I was told that my wife and I will be the proud parents of two more." He rubs his hand on my bump again as everyone gasps. His eyes are still glued to mine, and I can feel tears starting to form. My husband can be so sentimental sometimes, but it's very rare that he shows that to anyone other than me. My husband and I continue to stare at each other as the rest of our family stands to congratulate us. Kate and Mia pull at my arm, so I stand and hug the both of them. My tears are now running down my cheeks. Next I hug Grace and Carrick and Mia and Kate move to congratulate Christian. Ethan and Elliot also hug me and I am soon a mess of tears.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying" I say to them. Christian grabs some napkins and dries my tears. I then put my arms around his waist and feel his protective arms around me. I am so happy right now.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

The six of us sit on the blanket and eat our lunch together. The barbeque chicken is so good. The guys had decided on hamburgers and hot dogs while Ava and I have settled on the chicken. I look over at Rebecca's plate and she has chicken and a hamburger. I'm sure that was at my brother's insistence. He is turning more and more into Dad every day, but Rebecca doesn't seem to mind.

I watch them together as they eat and feed each other and it is so cute. Intimate. Ava and Nathan are also being cute, wiping food off each other's faces and kissing. I guess that is what it's like for couples that have sex. I start to feel left out since I haven't had sex. I know that Trevor isn't a virgin. He had a girlfriend last year and they had sex. That doesn't bother me, but it bothers me that I'm not ready. I don't understand it, really. I want to have sex with him, but I panicked when we tried. What if that happens again? What's to stop him from dumping me and finding some other girl that is ready and willing to have sex with him?

"You okay?" he asks me. I nod and look at his plate. We have both finished.

"Want me to take your plate?" I ask him, since I can't think of anything else to say. He smiles and takes my plate instead.

"Allow me." He stands and then plants a kiss on my head before offering to take Ava and Nathan's plates. Teddy and Rebecca are still working on their plates.

After Trevor discards our plates, he and Nathan join Uncle Ethan and the kids and play soccer. Ava and I watch and I can't help but feel warm inside at the sight of Trevor with the younger kids. He and Liz are playing against Nathan and Chris. Liz is quite good at soccer and she manages to make a few goals against Nathan. I'm sure Nathan allowed some of them to get past him, which is so sweet.

As we watch our boys play soccer, Ava and I discuss school and the classes we've signed up for. All of the seniors have the same lunch period, which is great because the four of us can have lunch together every day. I find out that while we were in Florida, Ava and Nathan have been going to the beach every day, just the two of them. It must be nice to be able to do that without security guards. I got to experience that while on the road trip with Trevor, but I could never do that again. I really hurt my parents. I still feel really guilty about that.

I really want to talk to Ava about my problems regarding sex, but Teddy and Rebecca are too close to us. I'm hoping I can talk to her at some point and figure out why I'm so afraid. Ava obviously isn't afraid. Maybe she can tell me how she prepared herself when she first did it with Nathan. We continue to watch our boys and I clap and whistle when I realize that Trevor and Liz have one. I see them high five each other and it is so cute.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

We continue to sit and chat with our family when Natalie comes over and wants to cuddle in my lap. I start to lift her and totally forget about my wrist. I wince and leave go of her. She tries to climb onto my lap before Christian reaches over and helps her. She settles on my lap and rests her head against my chest. It is nap time. I put my hand on the side of her face and rock my body slightly to settle her. Ethan and Mia decide that Sophie should also nap so they go to collect her. She's not too thrilled about being pulled away from the other kids. In fact, she slaps her hands at Ethan when he tries to pick her up. Our kids never did that, probably because they knew they would get swatted in return. But Ethan doesn't do that. He just picks her up and cradles her in his arms. She kicks her legs and cries for a bit before he and Mia get her to settle.

I look down at my baby girl and she is out. I look at my husband and nod, signaling for him to take her since I can't lift her. He gently takes her into his arms and I follow him into the house. He settles her on the sofa in the main room and covers her with a blanket. Ethan and Mia bring Sophie in a few minutes later and she is also asleep. That was fast. The four of us stand and just watch out little angels for a few minutes. I'm so glad that Ethan and Mia have moved back to Seattle. Natalie and Sophie will get to grow up together, just like Phoebe and Ava.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

We are served a variety of desserts and coffee while the girls are still napping. The coffee will do me well since I'm still feeling the effects of jet lag, not to mention the little amount of sleep I got last night. I look around the patio at my family and can't help but wonder what I've done to deserve all of this. It still astounds me. The teenagers have joined us too. The guys serve their girls dessert and stand with theirs since there aren't enough chairs. My mother fixes that by having a member of her staff bring out some more chairs.

The conversation is light again as we enjoy cake, pie, cheesecake, brownies, pastries, you name it. Mia made the cheesecake and it is absolutely delicious. I'm really going to enjoy having her home. I finish my last bite as I hear my baby girl scream. It's rare that she does that. I am out of my seat so fast I am sure it falls over with the force that I give it. Ana is not too far behind me. When I rush into the house I am by her side instantly and take her in my arms, whispering to her softly since she had just woken up. Sophie is also awake and she is just watching us. Ethan and Christopher are also in the room, and Ethan is furious with him. He starts yelling at his son, and it becomes clear what had happened. "Shhh, Ethan, take it easy" I say to him as I rub my hand through Natalie's hair. I start to feel her tears on my neck.

Mia and Mom also come into the house and Mia has to calm Ethan since he is yelling. "What happened?" Mia asks in a panic.

Ethan sighs and tries to calm himself. "On the way back from the bathroom, our son ran ahead of me and woke the girls up. Christian, Ana, I'm so sorry."

"That's okay, Ethan" Ana says as she rubs Natalie's back. She is whimpering so I continue to shush her and rub my hand through her hair. Once she is calm I decide to bring her outside with us since she probably won't go back to sleep. Ethan and Mia keep Christopher in the house for a time out, so Ana takes Sophie's hand and has her come with us. She rushes over to sit in Kate's lap and I keep Natalie with me. My mother has ice cream for the girls, which makes them both happy. Natalie is still in sleep mode so I keep her on my lap and cuddle her. Ana feeds her little bits of ice cream as she keeps her head rested against my chest.

After about five minutes we see Ethan and Mia walk outside with Christopher. He walks right over to me and apologizes to Natalie for waking her and scaring her. I'm not too pleased about him waking her from a nap, but I have to remember that he's only five and probably just wanted to play with her. I talk to Natalie about Christopher's apology. I know she understands because Ana and I have taught her to apologize to us anytime she misbehaves. She nods and I put her on the ground to hug him. Christopher hugs her tight and Natalie laughs. I have Christopher give me a high five so that he sees that I'm not angry with him. He hits my hand really hard and it takes me by surprise. Ana laughs at me when I shake it for affect, and Christopher laughs too. I pull Natalie back into my lap and she happily finishes her ice cream.

Christopher wants to sit on Ana's lap, probably so that he can sit next to Natalie. Ana allows it and has Mia help him sit on her lap since she can't lift him. He leans back against her and she puts her arms around him. She talks to him about how he will decorate his room when they move into their house in a few days. He tells Ana that he likes cars and trucks and that he wants the walls to be blue and green. I know that Ana is asking these questions because we had planned to get Ethan, Mia and each child a house warming gift once they are all moved in.

Elizabeth has been very quiet. I haven't heard a peep out of her. She is sitting close to her mother and leaning her head against her arm, while Mia is just chatting away. She is a spitting image of Mia at that age. The only difference is her shyness. Mia was never shy and she was never quiet. When Ana had asked Liz about her new room she didn't want to talk about it. Mia had told me that Liz is having a hard time with the move. She is seven and she already has friends in Los Angeles. She had to leave them, her school, her soccer team and her dance team to move here. Mia is worried about her, but Mom told her that once she starts school she should be fine. I personally don't like change, so I can understand how she feels.

Once Natalie is finished with her ice cream, I clean her face and kiss her little nose. She giggles and she gives me a hug, which I happily return. She then jumps down from my lap and rushes over to Ethan. She tugs on him to get his attention. "I wanna kick the ball" she says excitedly as she jumps up and down. Sophie gets down from Kate's lap and joins in with her cousin in getting Ethan to play with her. Ethan laughs and is on his feet following the girls out to the grassy meadow. Christopher also joins them once he is finished his ice cream. Mia asks Elizabeth if she'd like to join, but she declines and keeps her seat next to her mother. I look at Mia and silently offer to talk to her, but she waves me off. Liz has never really taken to me, or Elliot for that matter. I hope that changes since we'll be seeing a lot more of my sister's family.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

It's time, the time I've been dreading all week. My son has to leave for the airport to catch a flight back to school. I'm having a hard time holding back my tears. I've loved having him home this summer and I'm going to miss him so much. Christian and I watch as he says goodbye to each family member, either with a hug or handshake.

He picks Natalie up and spins around with her, which makes her laugh. I don't think she quite understands that her brother will be leaving for a while again. Grace said that kids her age don't really have the same sense of time as we do. She'll ask for him, we will tell her that he's at school, let her Skype with him once in a while, and she is fine. When he puts Natalie down Sophie puts her arms up. She wants the same treatment. He smiles and picks her up in a hug and spins her around too. When he puts her down he puts his hand out for a high five from Christopher. Once again, he slaps hard, taking my son by surprised. He shakes his hand out just as Christian did earlier. He then hugs Phoebe and keeps his arms around her for a minute or two. I know my daughter will miss him like crazy. She pulls out of the hug and wipes away tears as he talks to her. I'm not really sure what he's saying to her, but she nods at him.

Teddy finally makes his way over to us. He gives Christian a hug first, and I can tell that Christian is feeling a little emotional about this. He pats our son's back a few times before releasing him. Teddy then hugs me, and I have to work even harder to hold back the tears. "It's okay, Mom. I'll be back before you know it" he tells me. I know he's right, but I'm still sad that he has to go. With all the money at his disposal, why couldn't my husband pay to have Harvard build a west coast campus? Teddy pulls out of the hug and dries my tears, which makes me giggle. When he was a little boy, I did that for him. And now he's taking care of me. "Take care of those babies" he tells me as he puts his hand on my baby bump. I nod and give him a kiss on the cheek, followed by another hug. I know he has to go but I just want to hold him for another minute, and remember just how amazing my son is becoming every day.


	31. Fifty Biggest Nightmare

**_I know it's been a while since the last update. But I hope that the Double Update makes up for it. Happy Reading!_**

* * *

Christian's POV

"Thanks Gail." Gail has just brought me my coffee and an omelette for my breakfast. I have a meeting at seven so I need to leave in about ten minutes. I tell Gail to have pancakes ready for Phoebe since she should be down shortly. It is her first day of school. Her senior year. My god, how time flies. I remember her first day of kindergarten like it was yesterday. She was so excited that she was going to school like Teddy. But when it came time to say goodbye, she cried for about thirty minutes. I guess it didn't occur to her that going to school meant being away from her mother and me. We made the mistake of not putting her or Teddy in preschool. Instead, we taught them things at home that they needed to know, such as their numbers, letters, shapes, colors and even a little reading. Teddy and Phoebe were actually ahead of most kids when they started school, but it took some time for Phoebe to get over her separation anxiety. I had to go to school with her and wait outside the classroom. I worked on my laptop while she was in class. Luckily, kindergarten was only a few hours a day. After school I would drop her off to Ana at Grey Publishing and then spend the rest of the day at Grey House in my office and in meetings. Perhaps we should consider putting Natalie in preschool next year so that she can get used to being away from Ana and being around other kids on a daily basis.

I finish my omelette and look at my watch. It is six thirty and time for me to leave, but Phoebe isn't down here yet. I see Ana walk into the kitchen holding Natalie's hand. Natalie runs up to me and I pick her up and hug her. "Good Morning, Sweet Pea" I say to her and kiss her hair. I put her down and give my wife another good morning kiss. "Hi Baby. Where's Phoebe?"

"She's still getting ready. She's just finishing her hair and make-up."

I look at my watch again and frown. I can't wait for her and say goodbye and wish her luck on her first day. "I don't think I can wait for her."

"Go, I'll tell her you said goodbye." I continue to frown and wait another minute in case she happens to make an appearance, but she doesn't.

"Ok, bye Baby." I grab my briefcase and kiss Ana's cheek before I rush out to meet with Taylor. He has the car ready and he has the door open for me. "Taylor" I say to him. He nods and shuts the door behind me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I arrive at school with Sawyer in tow and I feel like a big fish in a small pond. I can't believe I'm a senior. This is so incredible. I have to giggle when I see the freshmen. They look like babies. I guess I looked like that a few years ago. Heck, I still do. I'm petite and still have a baby face. But I feel more mature. I've gotten way better at doing my hair and make-up.

I meet up with Ava at our lockers which are right next to each other. It's nice to have the same last name as my cousin. It means we have the same homeroom and she sits right in front of me. She tells me about this cool new game she has on her phone and encourages me to try it. We switch phones so that I can play around with it during homeroom and study hall, and she's going to work on adding it to my phone. After all, this is our first day of school. How much homework are they going to give us? Nathan and Trevor arrive and kiss us as we chat about our morning. Nathan's homeroom is a few rooms down from ours since his last name is Harris. Trevor has to travel to another wing of the school since his last name is Lansing. He kisses me goodbye when the first bell rings and we plan to meet up during lunch period.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I'm sat at my desk with my second cup of tea of the morning as I read through my emails. Every once in a while I glance over at my baby girl. She is playing with her toys in the corner of my office. I keep a good amount of toys here for her to keep her busy while I work. She's not old enough to color or draw, so she has dolls, another doll house and blocks to occupy her time. I also let her watch a little bit of television while we are here. They have a good amount of kids' shows on now that not only entertain, but also educate with numbers, letters, shapes and colors. She had started to pick up on them and she gets excited when we apply what she's learned at home. Christian and I read to her as much as we can because we always did that with Teddy and Phoebe, and it gave them a good head start on their education. Christian mentioned to me this morning that we should probably put Natalie in preschool next fall. I'm not too keen on the idea, probably because I want her with me as much as possible because she is so little. But maybe next year I'll feel differently with having two more babies to look after.

As I watch her I feel a tear threaten to escape. Damn these hormones. My daughter is just so darn cute. At just two years old she has quite an imagination. She's playing with her dolls and making them have a conversation. I'm not sure what she is saying, or if she's even using real words, but it doesn't matter. The fact that she knows to do that at such a young age is remarkable. Phoebe used to do that too but I think she started that when she was three.

I wipe my tear away and read through some more of my emails. My team has sent a few manuscripts my way that are potential publishing opportunities. To this day, I still get excited about reading new pieces. That will be one of many things that I'll miss about having this job. Christian and I have to start planning for when I retire next month. He said he already has some meetings lined up this week and the next to discuss restructuring for when I step down. My Fifty wastes no time. I'm sure he started lining up meetings the moment I told him that I wanted to retire. He's always prepared, always alert and always on top of things. But I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I won't be working anymore and that I'll be home, barefoot and pregnant as they say.

Speaking of my Fifty, I just received an email from him.

============================  
From: Christian Grey  
To: Anastasia Grey  
Time: Thursday 11:25am PST  
Subject: Count Down

How is my beautiful wife? I'm counting down to the day you'll be right where I want you, at home with our baby girl, and soon with our three babies. The meeting this morning went well. I have some ideas that I'd like to share with you later. Don't work too hard. That's not a request.

Love You!

Christian Grey  
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.  
============================

============================  
From: Anastasia Grey  
To: Christian Grey  
Time: Monday 11:27am PST  
Subject: RE: Counting Down

Don't be so hasty. We still have another six weeks before I will be stepping down as CEO. I want to enjoy it. I look forward to hearing your ideas, and I may have a few of my own. Until then, I will continue to work, but I won't overdo it. I promise.

Love You Too!

Anastasia Grey  
CEO, Grey Publishing  
============================

I wait for him to respond with some kind of remark about me having my own ideas about restructuring, but the email doesn't come. I go back to some of my previous emails and print out two of the manuscripts that my team had sent to me. After checking on Natalie for a few minutes I relax on the sofa in my office and start to read one of them.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

My wife responds to my email to let me know that she has some ideas about what's to become of Grey Publishing when she steps down. As much as I'd like to hear her ideas and have her work with me on this project, I'd rather just have her concentrate on her pregnancy and taking care of herself. I run my hand through my hair and start to respond, but I stop when my blackberry buzzes. It's Sawyer. I immediately start to feel panic because Sawyer wouldn't be calling me during school hours unless something was happening with my daughter.

"Grey!"

"Mr Grey, It's Nathan"

I start to get angry, but then I take note of the panic in the boy's voice. "Nathan, what's going on? Where's Sawyer?"

"Sir, he's been shot. S..s..some girl has a gun and started shooting at us."

The panic starts to build at warp speed. Someone is at the high school with a gun. And Sawyer was shot. Sawyer is there to protect Phoebe. Does that mean Phoebe was shot too? I need to know. "Nathan, was anyone else shot?"

The line goes dead before he is able to answer, and I feel numb. What just happened? I do the only thing I can do. "Taylor!" I shout his name louder than I've ever shouted, and he is in my presence in an instant. I stutter as I explain to him that we need to leave and head for the high school. The next thing I know, we are in the car and Taylor is running red lights to get us there. Although he is driving dangerously fast, it is not fast enough for me. I need to get to my daughter. I need to know that she is alright. But I have a horrible feeling that she isn't. I hate being stuck in this car because it only gives me time to think. My daughter can't be dead, can she? I would know if she were. I'm feeling many things right now. I'm anxious, scared, and so damn pissed off. But I don't feel like she's gone. I need to hold onto that. When we arrive I am out of the car in an instant and I sprint to one of the entrances of the school. Luckily the police have not been able to put the school on lock down yet. They had just started to arrive, but Taylor and I are already in. I order Taylor to track Phoebe's phone, and once he does we run in the direction of the signal. We pass many kids that are running around in panic, and I hear a few gunshots as we continue to run. They sound like they are far away, so I know that the gunman, or gunwoman I should say is not close by.

When we arrive at the spot where the signal leads, we look around and realize that she could be in the nearby closet. Taylor opens the door to reveal a very frightened Ava. She's been shot in the leg. I'm on the floor at her side instantly as Taylor tends to Sawyer.

"Are you okay?" I ask Ava. I guess that was a stupid question. She's been shot in the leg. Of course she's not okay. Nathan had the good sense to remove his shirt and tie it tightly around her leg like a tourniquet. I look over and see that Nathan had been using Ava's sweater to apply pressure to Sawyer's chest where he'd been shot. I catch a glimpse of Nathan's upper arm and it looks like a bullet had grazed him. I turn my attention back to Ava. "Where's Phoebe?" She doesn't answer me right away. I know she's been shot, but I need to know where my daughter is. I grab her chin and get her to look at me. "Ava? Where is Phoebe? Why do you have her phone?"

"We switched" she manages to say. "She has my phone. She's with Trevor." I continue to stare at her and then realize that that is probably all she is going to say. I notice her breathing is shallow and she is extremely pale. I have got to get her out of here.

"Taylor, are you able to get Sawyer out?" He nods in my direction, so I turn my attention back to Ava. "Ava, I'm going to get you out of here."

She starts to panic. "No, no you can't. She's still out there. She'll shoot us again."

It is difficult to see my niece in this state. She is so frightened and tears start to drip down her face. I gently put my hand under her chin this time. "Ava, Sweetheart you need medical attention. I'm going to carry you out of here. And nothing will happen to you. I promise."

She looks into my eyes and I can tell she is thinking about it. After a while she nods at me. I look over at Taylor and Nathan and nod. They get Sawyer up and support his weight while I lift Ava into my arms. I lead the way as we walk through the now empty halls and exit the school. Paramedics and law enforcement had arrived and they are getting kids onto buses and away from the school. Many parents had arrived to look for their kids. I see Elliot and Kate when I carry Ava over to where some ambulances are parked. They rush over to me as I lay her down on one of the gurneys and the paramedics start to work on her immediately. Taylor and Nathan get Sawyer onto another gurney and paramedics immediately put him in the ambulance. Elliot and Kate both hug me and start to ask questions, but I can't do this right now. I need to find Phoebe. "Call Collins" I tell Elliot. "Please have him explain to Ana that there has been a security incident, and that I'm at the high school to get Phoebe. Have him keep her away from the television and radio until I have a chance to talk to her. And I want Collins to take her to Bellevue."

I leave before Elliot responds. I know he'll do what I've asked without argument. Taylor and I run in the direction of the school again. This time we are stopped by law enforcement. Before I have a chance to protest, Taylor flashes one of his IDs and we are immediately let into the school. I don't know what Taylor just did but I am so damn grateful for it. I'll find out about it later. Right now, I need to find my daughter. "Track Ava's phone" I order him since I know that Phoebe has her phone. I am so anxious to find her and see her I can barely stand in one place while he tracks the phone. I can feel myself sweating as I look around and listen. Both hands are in my hair, fists clenching and pulling hard at it. We hear a few more gunshots and my fears start to shoot through the roof. "Taylor!" I shout since it is taking too long.

"Sorry Sir, right this way" he says and starts running in the other direction. I follow. It's a damn good thing the both of us are in such good shape, for our ages especially. He is only a few years older than me and he takes good care of himself. I pay him a good salary to do that among many other things. When we reach the location I realize that it is the lobby of the auditorium. Phoebe is not here and there are no closets nearby.

"Taylor?" I ask while nearly out of breath.

"This way" he says and leads me through the doors to the auditorium. Phoebe is not in here either, and I am getting really aggravated. We look around and then Taylor realizes that she is above us. He doesn't say anything but he points in the direction of the projection booth. We both rush to the door that leads to the steps and Taylor makes sure to lock the door behind us. I run up the steps skipping every other step until I reach the top. I try to open the door but it is locked. Damn it! "Phoebe" I call out for her desperately. I know she's in there because I can hear her. She is whimpering. Unfortunately I know the sound of her cries all too well. "Phoebe it's okay. It's Dad. Open the door please" I beg, but she still doesn't open it. I continue to try for the door and push my body into it a few times, thinking that if I give it enough force it will open. I'm growing more and more agitated. I need to see her. I need to have her in my arms. My baby. My peanut. "Peanut" I say softly and stop pushing the door. I'm probably scaring her by doing that. I don't hear her so I say it again. "Peanut, its okay. Please open the door."

Taylor comes up behind me and offers to knock the door down, but it isn't necessary as Trevor has willingly opened it. I walk in and see Phoebe sat beneath a table with her legs pulled into her chest. She looks so frightened and it breaks my heart. Taylor closes the door behind us since the girl with the gun is still in the school. I open my arms and wait for Phoebe to run into them. She does and starts to sob, tears drenching my shirt. I hold her tight and can't help the tears that escape my own eyes. I was so scared that something had happened to my daughter. I was so scared that I wouldn't get to hold her like this again. I want to keep holding her, but suddenly I'm reminded of where we are. We can't stay here. I pull out of the hug and look her over. Her white uniform shirt is covered in blood and I immediately start to panic. "Phoebe, you're bleeding"

"It's not her blood" Trevor says immediately, which starts to put me at ease. I feel a sigh leave me as I start to wipe her tears with my thumbs.

"It's Sawyers" she says to me with so much emotion in her voice. It is now evident that she witnessed Sawyer being shot. She's never had to see something so horrific like that up close. I pull her to my chest again and hold her tight. I kiss her head and try to assure her that she's safe. Trevor is now standing behind her. I reach my hand out to shake his.

"Thank you for looking after my daughter" I tell him, and I realize that I have a lump in my throat. I could have lost her. The shooter was shooting at my daughter, and Sawyer likely took the bullet for her. Trevor jumped into action and brought her here where they could hide. I start to wonder if she knows that Ava's been shot. I decide to keep that detail to myself for now. No sense in causing her more grief. I look to Taylor and he's ready to go. I look down at my daughter and get her to look at me. "We're getting out of here. Taylor will get us out of here safely."

"We can't, she's still in the building" Phoebe says as more tears roll down her face. I try to dry them again with my thumbs.

"I know, but she's not on this side of the school. We just need to go down the steps and we can use one of the auditorium doors."

She nods and wraps her arms tightly around my waist. I allow her to keep herself attached to me as we follow Taylor and Trevor out of the projection booth. We slowly walk down the steps, aware that whoever this girl is could have made her way over to this side of the building by now. But Phoebe doesn't need to know that. Taylor waits for a moment before he opens the door leading to the auditorium. When he doesn't hear anything, he opens it slightly, looks around and then gives us the all clear. We make our way over to one of the auditorium doors, and once the door is open to let in the bright sun's rays, we hear another gunshot. Phoebe screams and her arms become even tighter around my waist. I hold her tighter and squeeze my eyes shut. I'm not sure where the gunshot came from or which direction the bullet traveled, but after a moment I feel Taylor pull on my shirt forcing me and Phoebe outside.

Once outside, we are approached by law enforcement. They tell us to show our hands. I have a hard time leaving go of Phoebe since she is so frightened, but law enforcement gives us no choice. I slowly leave go of her and show my hands, but she keeps her hold on me. When one of the officers approaches her I get angry. "Don't even think about touching her" I shout at him. He is told by his captain to back off. Once they see that none of us are a threat, we are told we can relax and the captain shakes Taylor's hand. I lead Phoebe away and over to where the paramedics are waiting. They see the blood on her shirt and immediately want to check her over, but I put my hand up and tell them that it isn't necessary. I look around and see that my brother and his family are no longer here. Good, that means that they got Ava and Sawyer to the hospital.

I do my best to shield my daughter from the press as we climb into the SUV and drive away. I order Taylor to drive us to the hospital. Even though Phoebe wasn't shot, I'd still like to get her looked at to make sure she is alright. Trevor is with us too and he is silent. I'm sure he is in shock. I keep my arm around Phoebe and kiss her head a few times as we take about seven minutes to get to the hospital. I know she is in shock. She should never have had to experience anything like this. I pull out my blackberry and send an email to have Welch investigate and find out who the shooter was, and why that person was seemingly aiming at my daughter. That person is going to fucking pay big time. I also send an email to Collins to make sure Ana and Natalie are okay and to make sure they had arrived safely at Bellevue. He responds instantly to let me know they are safe but Ana is anxious for information. I have him tell Ana about the shooting since I know that Phoebe is safe, and I have him tell her that we are on our way to the hospital just as a precaution. I decide not to mention Ava yet since I don't know her condition.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I leave Natalie with Sophie and her nanny in another part of the house so that I can find out what is going on. Collins explains that there was a shooting at the school, and I start to feel sick. He goes on to say that Christian is on his way to the hospital just to get Phoebe checked over. He assures me that she's not hurt. I still have a bad feeling. I have to wonder what my daughter had seen at that school. Today was her first day of her senior year. It was supposed to be a day to remember for special reasons, not for a fucking school shooting. She's never going to forget this, and neither will the rest of Seattle. I'm sure the press is going to turn this into a circus. I dread having to endure my friends and family having to go through this at all, but to also have people take their pictures and interview them in the process just makes it much worse.

I sit down at his insistence and I'm served a cup of tea from one of Grace and Carrick's staff members. "Thank you." The last thing I want to be doing right now is sitting at Bellevue with a cup of tea, but I know that I need to stay calm and focus. My daughter is okay. My husband wouldn't lie about that. Or would he? I sure hope not. I know he'd want me to stay calm and think about the babies. I can't let stress take over my body. Once I let it in, it is a battle to get my body to relax. I know that once I go to the hospital he'll insist that I have a checkup to make sure my blood pressure isn't too high. I don't care, I need to get there. I need to see Phoebe and see for myself that she is okay.

My blackberry buzzes and I look down to see that it is Kate. "Kate?" I can hear her crying. Oh no, this is bad. Really bad. Kate never cries. "Kate, what's happened?"

"It's Ava. She was shot." That's all I need to hear before I am on my feet.

"Kate, it's going to be okay" I try to assure her, even though I have no clue about my niece's current condition. "I'm on my way and I'll be there soon." I hang up and don't give her a chance to respond. Collins looks at me as though I have told him I'm about to jump off the Space Needle."

"Collins, please, I need to be there. Either you are going to drive me or I'm going to drive myself." I haven't driven in quite some time, but my little threat works. He is on his feet and ready to go. I let the nanny know that I'm leaving and she assures me that Natalie will be fine.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I am sat at Phoebe's bedside in one of the examining rooms. We are waiting for a doctor to come and check her over. I am holding her hand and rubbing my thumb over her knuckles, hoping I can get her to calm. Phoebe is still shaking and trembling as she lies on the bed, still in her bloody uniform. I notice that her eyes are focused on the blood on her shirt.

"It's going to be okay, Baby" I say softly. I reach up and gently stroke her long bangs, pushing them to the side of her head.

Phoebe's breathing is uneven as she inhales and exhales. "Daddy, I'm so sorry" she says, her voice high pitched and full of emotion.

_What?_ She can't possibly be blaming herself for the shooting. "What are you sorry for?"

Phoebe inhales and exhales quickly as she grows more upset. "For hurting you…. like your mother hurt you."

This takes me by surprise. My mouth is open and my eyes are unfocused. This is not something I've thought about in weeks, but it becomes obvious to me that Phoebe has been thinking about it and it is causing her distress. I look at her and tears are running down her face. "Peanut…."

"No, don't" she snaps. "You shouldn't call me that." She grows even more emotional and starts to cry. She tries to pull her hand out of my grasp, but I don't let her.

"Yes I should, I should never have stopped." This does nothing to soothe Phoebe. In fact, it just makes her cry harder. I stand and reach my other hand over and I'm able to grab her other hand. "Peanut" I say this time with conviction. "Look at me, please. Look at me." I plead with her, but she is too far gone and filled with grief to open her eyes. She tries to pull away from me again and starts to kick her legs. I try to get her to calm. "Baby, shhhh, calm down."

The doctor comes in and sees how distressed Phoebe is. "Mr Grey, I'd like to give your daughter a mild sedative."

"No" I bark as I continue to try and gain control of my daughter.

"Mr Grey, please. It won't harm her. It will calm her down enough for me to examine her."

I soften and look down at my daughter. She is still thrashing and trying to pull away from my hold. There is no way she will allow a doctor to examine her in her emotional state. She needs to be checked out. The sooner the better. I decide to give in, for her sake. "Do it" I say softly.

I continue to hold Phoebe's hands as the doctor prepares the sedative and sticks it in her arm. Within ten seconds, Phoebe stops her thrashing and resistance. Her eyes are closed and her breathing becomes more stable. I slowly leave go of one of her hands but I keep my hold on the other. I continue to stand by her bed and watch her as she sleeps, internally kicking myself for what I had told her all those weeks ago when I was hurt and angry. I've been able to gradually leave go of that hurt and anger toward my daughter, but she's been carrying that guilt with her all this time.

"I'm Doctor Henning" she says as she starts to examine Phoebe."

"I'm…. Christian Grey" I say, uncharacteristically shaky while introducing myself. _What is happening to me?_

"I know, Dr Trevelyan-Grey's son" she says with a smile. "She is well known and respected around here." She proceeds to check Phoebe's pulse while I remain still in my spot, watching my daughter's face. I am paying very little attention to what Dr Henning is doing. She takes some more time to examine her and writes some things on her chart. I only start paying attention when I see the doctor slightly raise Phoebe's shirt to examine her stomach.

"What are you doing?" I snap, but then I shut my eyes and shake my head. "I'm sorry" I softly apologize. She's tending to my daughter, and she certainly doesn't deserve to be snapped at.

Dr Henning smiles and goes about examining Phoebe's stomach with her hands. "It's okay, Mr Grey. We are all a bit jumpy after today's events." After she's finished she lowers Phoebe's shirt and updates her chart. "I just need to draw some blood and then I'll be done."

I continue to stand next to my daughter's bed holding her hand. I can't take my eyes off of her face. So much pain and fear has taken over her perfect face over the past few hours, but right now she is at peace thanks to the sedative. For just a little while she can escape from the horror of what had happened at that school, and what has been happening between the two of us. Our relationship hasn't been the same for months, and I am beating myself up inside for not making more of an effort with her. For god's sake, I couldn't even push back one meeting just so I could see her before her first day of her senior year.

After Dr Henning draws some blood, she puts the tubes aside and cleans Phoebe's arm. "I'd like to keep her overnight for observation, just to be on the safe side. We can release her in the morning."

"Is she alright?" I ask with concern.

The Doctor gives me a reassuring smile. My mother used to do that anytime I was worried about something. Must be a doctor thing. "Your daughter is perfectly healthy, Mr Grey. She might be experiencing some post-traumatic stress from what she saw at the school. If you could turn around for a minute, I just need to put a hospital gown on her."

I feel myself frown upon hearing that my daughter could be suffering from PTSD, but I nod and turn around, reluctantly leaving go of her hand in the process. We can finally get her out of her bloody clothes, but I was hoping to be able to take her home. Once she has Phoebe cleaned up and settled, Dr Henning leaves and I take a seat next to Phoebe's bed. I take her hand in both of mine and plant gentle kisses.

"I'm right here Baby" I whisper to her. "I'm not going anywhere."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A few hours later, Ana joins Christian in their daughter's room. His hair and clothes are a mess and his eyes are blood shot. She sits in the chair next to his and takes his hand. Christian keeps his eyes on Phoebe and lets out a nervous sigh.

"How's Ava" he asks in nearly a whisper.

"She's out of surgery. They removed the bullet from her leg." Ana glances over at Phoebe and looks back at Christian. She's worried about her daughter but also about her husband. His eyes are still focused on Phoebe.

"And Sawyer?" he asks eventually.

"He's still in surgery" she says regrettably. Christian looks down and shakes his head. "Brooke's father just got here and her mother is looking after Lucas."

Christian sniffles and rubs his hand roughly over his face. He shakes his head again as he imagines what went on in the school.

"What are you thinking about?" Ana asks softly as she rubs her hand up and down his back. She can see that Christian is struggling.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm certain that Sawyer took a bullet for Phoebe." He finally takes his eyes off of Phoebe and looks at his wife for the first time since she's entered the room. "He took a bullet for our daughter."

Ana nods. "I know. That's what you hired him for, Christian. To protect us and our children. And it really sucks because we love Sawyer, and… he's going to be okay."

Christian shakes his head again. "We don't know that."

"He has to be." Ana pushes her chair closer and rests her head on Christian's shoulder. "We have to believe that."

They sit in silence and watch their daughter, think about Sawyer and Ava and all of the people that were either hurt or killed in today's shooting. All because somebody was most likely targeting their daughter.


	32. Fifty Aftermath

_(Female voice) We are Live just down the street from The Sound Prep, where just hours ago a gunman entered the school and opened fire… (Male voice) Breaking News, the gun violence spreads to The Sound Prep, a private school in Seattle, Washington…. (Female voice) it is unconfirmed at this time if there were multiple gunmen….. (Male voice) Headmaster Benjamin Dover has confirmed that the school uses metal detectors but had no further comment… (Female voice) twelve people dead, including five teachers and seven students… (Male voice) we're being told the gunman is a woman, possibly a teenager…. (Male voice) Later tonight, a look into the tragedy in Seattle, another devastating school shooting…. (Female voice) parents and students across the country continue their efforts to raise awareness and stop gun violence in our schools… (Female voice) it is unofficial at this time that the gunman may have been a current or former student…. (Male voice) many of the injured have been sent to the hospital, some in critical condition….. (Female voice) it is unofficial at this time that one of the victims was the granddaughter of District Attorney Carrick Grey…_

Carrick Grey appears on television to make a statement at a news conference. He stands at the podium and listens to one reporter's question.

"My granddaughter was in fact injured, but she is expected to make a full recovery."

One reporter asks which granddaughter.

He clears his throat. "At this time I'm only going to confirm that my granddaughter was injured. My family appreciates the thoughts and prayers that are being sent our way as well as to the members of this community. We also ask that you respect our family's privacy in this tough time. Thank you"

He leaves the podium with his security as reporters continue to shout questions at him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

Ethan and I arrive at Bellevue just before ten, and the first thing I do is send a text message to Teddy instructing him to get on his computer. I'm sure he and Rebecca are watching the news coverage and going out of their minds. I had Gail call him earlier to assure him that Phoebe was okay. She told him about Ava and Sawyer as well. I want to skype with him and give him an update.

Ethan opens the door for me and we are greeted by an anxious Mia. She hugs the both of us and starts to fire questions at us. She had left her assistant manager in charge of her boutique earlier today and brought her kids here so that she could be here for Cameron and Natalie, while the rest of us were at the hospital. Carrick had to be in town all day at the police station and at press conferences. This whole family could use a good night sleep, but I'm sure that's not going to happen.

I interrupt Mia to thank her for taking care of Natalie and excuse myself to check on her. I find her sleeping in the bedroom where Liz and Sophie are also sleeping. I gently place a kiss on her forehead and stroke her hair before I retreat to Carrick's office.

I fire up the computer and find Teddy already waiting for me on skype.

"Mom, thank god, what the hell is going on!?"

"Teddy!" I snap. I know he's upset but he knows better than to swear at me.

"Sorry, just…. please tell me what's happening? How's Phoebe?"

I sigh and prepare myself to explain things to my son. It's late and I am so exhausted, but this is really important. Teddy is not here in Seattle and he needs reassurance. "Teddy, your sister is fine, I promise."

"Then why is she at the hospital?"

This surprises me. "How did you know?"

"I called Trevor."

Of course, he and Trevor have become friends since he started dating Phoebe. "Phoebe's only at the hospital for observation. Your father is there with her."

"Trevor said she saw it happen."

"We don't know what she saw yet" I say to him gently. "We need to wait until she's ready to talk about it."

"What about Ava?"

"Ava is out of surgery and she's sleeping. Your Aunt Kate and Uncle Elliot are both with her. The doctors expect her to be awake and talking tomorrow."

I observe my son and can see that this news is calming his nerves. He then runs his hand through his hair, just like his Dad always does. "He and Gail both said that Sawyer was shot."

"It's Mrs Taylor" I correct him. "And yes, he was shot and he had to have surgery. He had just gotten out of surgery before I had to leave."

There's a long pause, the only sound between us is our breathing. "I should come home" he finally says.

"No, Teddy you shouldn't. You need to be at school" I tell him sternly. "Your father and I will take care of Phoebe, Ava will be fine too. And we should have news on Sawyer tomorrow. I promise to give you an update as soon as I have one."

"I don't care what time it is" he says. "You can call or text at three in the morning if you have to, just please keep me posted. And let me know if I can do anything."

I smile at my son. He's always concerned about everyone else before himself. I'm so proud of him. "I will, Teddy. I'm sure Phoebe will want to hear from you tomorrow."

He nods. "Thank you, Mom. It's late, you should go to bed. Dad would want you to take care of yourself and those babies."

I chuckle, my son is so much like his father. "Why do you think I'm at Bellevue and not the hospital?"

"I mean it, Mom. Get some sleep, please. It's like you said, Phoebe is fine."

"I know Teddy. Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too Mom."

I power down the computer and feel a tear escape my eye. How did I get so lucky to have such a great son?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I feel so relaxed and well rested. I haven't felt this way in so long. As I start to wake up I try to think about what day it is. My alarm hasn't gone off, and Dad hasn't come in to wake me yet. It is either very early or it is the weekend. I'm not sure. I haven't opened my eyes yet. I feel too relaxed, and I know if I open my eyes that feeling will subside. I keep my eyes closed and my hearing begins to become my dominant sense. I notice that I don't hear anything. It's as if the world has been muted. I don't hear the sound of the waves crashing or the birds chirping. How odd. I squeeze my eyes shut tight as I stretch my arms and legs. A yawn escapes me in the process. Time to officially wake up and start the day.

I open my eyes and it is still a bit dark. I see a person standing at my bed. It startles me because I didn't know that someone was in here with me. She has long hair, blond I think, so I know that she's a woman. The next thing I see is a gun in my face. A gun! She's going to shoot me. I start to scream as loud as I can, but nothing is coming out. I try really really hard to force my voice to let out a scream so that one of Dad's security guards could hear me, but it's no use. I squeeze my eyes shut and continue to try.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I'm watching Dad's statement on the news on my iPad. I don't want to use the television because I don't want Phoebe to hear it. The fucking media will probably be covering this story for weeks. I'm going to have to keep Phoebe away from all of this. She doesn't need to see coverage of her school being shot up. It's bad enough she had to have a front row seat to it. Ana and I will need to talk to her about it, about what she saw. I will also need to set up a session for her to see Flynn.

I nearly jump out of my seat when I hear Phoebe scream. She starts thrashing in her sleep. I place my iPad and ear buds on a nearby table and I am by her side instantly, grabbing her wrists and calling for her. "Phoebe, Phoebe wake up, you're having a nightmare. Phoebe!" Her eyes shoot open. The frightening look on her face is just devastating. When she sees me she breaks down and cries hard. I slowly position myself on the bed so that I am sitting in front of her and I pull her into my arms. She's shaking, poor baby. She allows me to hold her and comfort her while she cries and starts saying words that resemble 'she' and 'gun'.

When she stops shaking, I pull away from her slightly so that I can look at her properly. I gently place my hand on the side of her head. "Phoebe, Baby you are safe I promise. Everything's okay."

"She had a gun" she says tearfully.

"Who? Who had the gun?" I watch her and wait for her to answer. She looks so confused. I'm not sure if she's talking about the shooting or her nightmare right now. "Phoebe, who had the gun?" I ask more forcefully.

She shakes her head. "I don't know. I…. I didn't see her face."

I pull her to me again and hold her, rubbing her back and shushing her since her body is shaking again. "You were having a nightmare" I finally say to her softly. "Do you remember what it was about?"

She tries to shake her head while I hold her, and I don't believe her. I've had my share of nightmares, and unfortunately I couldn't forget them. They would spook me so bad that I would stay awake, fearing that the nightmares would return or really happen. I do the only thing I can do and just hold her until she pulls away from me.

I sit back and watch her as she settles back on the bed again. She looks like she wants to say something, but she doesn't. I need to know what she's thinking. "Peanut, what are you thinking about?"

She doesn't answer me right away. She doesn't look up at me either, which would normally result in me losing my temper. But that can't happen. Not now. I need to be patient and be here for her, no matter how tired I am or how anxious I am for information. I take her hand in mine and hold it as I wait for her.

"Sawyer" she finally says softly.

"What about Sawyer?"

"He was shot" she says tearfully. "Is he going to be okay?"

I gently wipe her tears and brush my hand down the side of her head. "He's going to be fine. The doctors are taking really good care of him."

"You're not just saying that?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm not." She nods and blinks as more tears escape her eyes. "He had to have surgery, and he's in recovery. Brooke is with him."

"Where's Trevor?"

"His brother took him home. Travis was here working when we got here. He got him checked out and then took him to his place to stay until their parents arrive home from Italy."

She nods again and looks down at our hands. "Did anyone die?"

I don't want to answer her, but I know that I have to. She is just so fragile and emotional right now. But if I lie to her it won't do her any good. She'll find out eventually. "Yes, Baby" I answer in a whisper and look down.

She inhales and exhales quickly. "Ava….. and Nathan?"

"No!" I immediately answer and look at her face again. "No, no no they're okay." I brush my hand down the side of her head again. "Peanut, Ava was injured, but she's okay, I promise. Aunt Kate and Uncle Elliot are with her on the fourth floor."

"I want to see her."

"It's late. They won't allow visitors. But you can visit with her tomorrow, I promise."

She looks around and glares. "Late, it's night?"

"Yes Baby" I smile. "It's ten o'clock. We're going to stay here overnight and then we can go home tomorrow. After we see Ava."

She nods to let me know that she understands. "Why was I asleep?"

I sigh, dreading to have to answer this question. I'm sure she's not going to like what I have to say. "The doctor that examined you gave you a sedative."

She glares at me. "You let them do that?"

"Phoebe, you were so frightened and upset that you became inconsolable. I couldn't get you to calm." She becomes disgusted and turns on her side to face away from me. "I won't apologize for making a decision that I thought was best for you. You needed to be checked out to make sure you were alright." This doesn't do anything to placate her, so I need to change tack. "Phoebe, you know I would never ever allow anything or anyone to hurt you." I see her nod and I start to feel some relief. "I haven't left your side. I've been here with you all day. And I'll be here all night." She nods again but she doesn't say anything. I lean over and kiss the side of her head before getting up off of the bed. I pace, running my hands through my hair several times in the process.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

_(Female voice) Police are on the hunt for the gunman tonight as the town comes to terms with what happened earlier today…. (Male voice) police have released the name of one of the gunmen, nineteen year old Rachel Wilson… (Female voice) police have only released a few names of the deceased….. (Female voice) police believe that Miss Wilson acted alone in the attack, but may have had help fleeing the scene… (Male voice) among the deceased is Mark Stack, a P.E. teacher whose been on staff for seven years. Sexual misconduct charges were filed against Mr Stack three years ago but were dropped when Miss Wilson recanted her statement. Police would not comment when asked if the previous charge was motive for today's attack.…. (Female voice) among the injured is Headmaster Benjamin Dover, he's been treated and released from the hospital… (Male voice) it's been confirmed that Miss Wilson is a former student of The Sound Prep… (Female voice) police are asking for the public's help in tracking down Rachel Wilson. A ten thousand dollar reward has been posted for information that will lead to her arrest… (Male voice) Rachel Wilson is believed to be armed and unstable. The police ask that you call 911 and refrain from approaching her….._

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I wake around eight and scramble to get myself out of bed. I can't believe I've slept this late. I have been sleeping in my husband's old bedroom. I wouldn't have it any other way while spending the night at Bellevue, accept of course having my husband with me. I'm used to being home in my own bed, waking next to Christian. He is usually awake before me and I usually wake to him softly caressing some part of my body. My, how I miss his touch. It's only been twelve hours. I start to crave having his hands on me, my face, my breasts, my arms, my hips, my bottom, my…. oh no, I need to get moving. I can't be thinking about that right now.

My pregnancy hormones are out of control. Lately I just want sex with Christian all the time. Which wouldn't be so bad, except we have two careers and three kids to look after, and one of them is in a very bad place right now. As I neatly make the bed I think about my Phoebe. I can't imagine what she went through yesterday, first hearing the gunshots and very likely seeing them. I'm not really sure what she saw. She was sedated for most of the day, so I didn't get to talk to her. I'm scared for her, scared of how she will cope with this. Will she have nightmares? Will she ever feel safe again? How do Christian and I even help her with this? I'm sure Christian is already working on that. He's probably already contacted Flynn to set up a string of therapy sessions for her.

You hear about it on the news way too often. School shootings. You never think it will happen to you or your kids. I continue to make the bed as tears roll down my face. Damn, these hormones. I cry at everything lately. But I'm sure I'd be crying about this even if I wasn't pregnant. People died in that school yesterday. Parents lost kids, kids lost parents and teachers. That could have been our kid, but luckily it wasn't. It wasn't because our daughter has one of the best bodyguards on the planet. I still can't believe it. Sawyer took a bullet for my daughter. I sit on the bed and hug a pillow as the reality of that sinks in. Sawyer could die, and he did it for my daughter. I always knew that Sawyer was the best, and that he was loyal. But he was my friend. I'm not naïve. I know that protecting my family is a dangerous job. You might say it's a suicide mission. I guess I always took for granted that Taylor and Sawyer were constants in our lives and that they were always great at what they do.

I pull myself together, wipe my tears and stand from the bed. I had used one of Christian's old t-shirts and a pair of running shorts to sleep in but now I need to find something to wear for the day. As I look through Christian's closet of his old clothes I am interrupted by a knock at the door. I'm sure I look absolutely dreadful, but I answer it anyway. I open the door to Mia. She's calm, not bouncy and energetic like she usually is. I'm grateful, since bouncy and energetic Mia is a lot for me to handle at the moment. I love my sister-in-law to death, but she can be a bit over the top at times.

"Taylor had dropped a bag off with some things for you and Natalie." Why am I surprised that Taylor did this. No doubt at Christian's request, but still. I look through the bag's contents and can't help but smile. "I hope you don't mind but I already dressed Natalie in one of Sophie's outfits. I had packed extra clothes and diapers for them, but you can change her into this if you want."

I feel the tears start to form again. This family has always been so good at taking care of each other, especially in hard times. "No, Mia that's incredibly sweet of you. Thank you for taking care of her. Yesterday too."

Mia hugs me, and I lose the battle with my tears. They start to roll down my cheeks. She pulls out of the hug and strokes my hair as I wipe my tears and giggle at myself for showing such emotion. "Hey, everything's going to be okay" she says to me. I nod as I try to pull myself together again. "We'll get Phoebe and Ava through this. And you know I am happy to take Natalie anytime you need me to. She's a doll, and my kids just adore her." I'm touched to hear her say that about my baby girl. I'm sure she was very well behaved. I smile and nod again. "Well, I'll leave you to get dressed. Then come join us for breakfast."

Mia leaves and shuts the door behind her. Suddenly I feel like I'm twenty two again, bonding with her and Kate over becoming family since we were marrying her brothers. That was a very happy and confusing time in my life. I knew that I wanted to be married to Christian, that I was certain of. But the speed at how our union came to be just made my head spin. Suddenly I was married to the man that I was in love with. I was part of his wonderful family and a rich lifestyle that completely overwhelmed me. And then I was pregnant with his child. I was only twenty two, and so were Kate and Mia. I was so lucky to have them both be a part of my life at that time, and to still have that now. I am not twenty two anymore, but for a moment I feel like Mia is right, that everything is going to be okay. I do my best to hold onto that as I change into the casual peach maternity sundress and cream colored cardigan that Gail had packed for me. I then slip in the off-white ballet flats. There is also a hairbrush, hair tie, toothbrush, toothpaste and make-up in the bag. I'm grateful since I need to clean myself up to face the day. I need to look composed when I see Phoebe.

Once downstairs, I meet Mia and the kids in the kitchen. Natalie sees me and her little face just lights up. I missed my baby girl. I take a few steps into the room and catch her when she runs to me. "Mommy!" she screams with excitement. I giggle and pick her up. My wrist is finally starting to heal and I can hold her again. I hug her tight as she calls me Mommy a few more times. I pull her away from me so that I can look at her face.

"Hi Baby Girl! Mommy missed you."

"Mommy, where's Daddy?" She asks me with a serious expression and tone. I can't help but smile at her.

"Well, Daddy is with Phoebe. We're going to see them later."

"Oh" is all she says. I place her back on the ground and she runs back to the table to sit next to Sophie.

I walk closer to the table and see that the kids are eating pancakes. Elizabeth and Christopher are dressed in their school uniforms. I wasn't even thinking about school. I notice that I'm frowning as thoughts of yesterday are in my head, so I put on a smile for my nieces and nephews. "Good Morning"

"Good Morning Aunt Ana" Elizabeth and Christopher answer dearly. Sophie, Natalie and Cameron are concentrating hard on their pancakes. I make my way over to the stove where Mia is cooking and I whisper so that he kids cannot hear me. "School's open today?"

I see her frown. "I called their Headmaster, figured they would close at least for today, but they won't. They're going to have Seattle's finest patrolling the grounds throughout the day."

I look behind me and see that the kids are not looking at us. "Where's Ethan?"

"He went to the hospital early. He's going to sit with Ava while Kate and Elliot run home and shower. I told them I'd keep Cameron with me. Natalie can stay too, I'm not going anywhere."

I smile at Mia. She would care for a hundred kids at a time if she could. If she wasn't so big on fashion, she would have made a great teacher. I rub her back as she stirs the pancake batter. "Thanks, Mia. I might take you up on that. We're bringing Phoebe home today and…. I'm not even sure how she's going to be."

My blackberry vibrates and I pull it out. I have a text from Christian. I can't help but smile before I even read it.

_**Morning Baby, I hope you slept well. Phoebe is just waking up. Doctor will check her out, we'll visit Ava, and then I'll bring her home. Collins will be there soon to take you and Natalie home. Laters Baby!**_

I read the text and I know that Mia can see how confused I am. "Is everything okay?" she asks me.

"Yeah" I answer her, but I'm unsure. "Christian wants me and Natalie to go home instead of the hospital."

"That's good news, right? That means he's bringing Phoebe home."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I send a text to Ana to let her know that I've arranged for Collins to take her and Natalie home. I'd like for them to be there when I bring Phoebe home. Our daughter needs to be able to relax at home with our support. I look up at Phoebe and her eyes are open, but they are not focused. I stand and slowly approach her bed. I don't want to scare her. I slowly sit on her bed and wait for her to say something. There's silence for a while before she does.

"Why did this happen?" Her voice is so soft and sad. She's not looking at me. She's looking over at the window.

"I don't know, Baby" I say to her. I take her hand again and hold it just as I did last night, but she still doesn't look at me.

"Is this my fault?"

_What?_ "No, why would you say that?" I have got to get her off of this. I can't let her blame herself for some girl shooting up a school.

She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. I just feel like it is."

I frown. It is killing me to see her like this. I feel helpless. Before I get a chance to say anything, there is a knock at the door. I turn my head to see that it is a police officer. I stand from the bed and turn to face him.

"Mr Grey" he greets me and holds out his hand. I look down at it and then back at him but I don't offer my hand in return.

"And you are?"

"Detective Runyon" he answers me and keeps his hand out. I put my hand out and shake it while keeping eye contact with him. "If it's alright I'd just like to ask your daughter a few questions."

I look down at Phoebe and then back at the detective. "I don't think she's up to it." I don't want my daughter to be questioned by police before she is ready. She is nearly broken right now. I won't allow things to get worse for her.

"I understand your concerns, Mr Grey. I just want to know what she saw. I promise this won't take long."

I look down at my daughter again, and this time she is looking at me and at the detective. I take a few steps backward and sit on the bed next to her. She sits up and leans against me. "I stay" I say without giving him room for argument. He nods and moves the chair closer to the bed to sit.

"Hi Phoebe" he says kindly. "Would it be alright if I ask a few questions?"

I look at Phoebe and see her nod. I have my arm protectively wrapped around her.

"Were you at the The Sound Prep yesterday?"

"Yes" she answers in almost a whisper.

"Can you tell me what you saw?"

Phoebe's eyes drop to her blanket as she thinks it over. She shakes her head. "Not much, really. I heard really loud bangs, and people screaming. I didn't really know what was happening." She takes a moment to breath and I can feel her body trembling. My arm around her becomes tighter. "I saw Sawyer fall down, and blood was all over his chest. I felt someone push me and I fell on top of him." Her voice starts to become more high pitched and emotional. This is really hard to take. "He was bleeding and…. and I wanted to help him but I didn't know how. Before I could, I felt Trevor lift me off of him and pull me away."

"Did you see who had the gun?"

"No" she says tearfully. "I…. I think she had blond hair. I didn't see her face. I'm sorry."

Phoebe starts to cry. I bring my hand over and place it on the side of her head, softly rubbing my thumb back and forth. "No more questions" I say to the detective. He doesn't argue.

"Thank you Phoebe, Mr Grey" he says softly. There's emotion in his voice as well. "I'll be in touch if I have anything further."

"Thank you" I manage to say. I really don't like that he came here to question my daughter, but just like the rest of us he has a job to do. He and his team need to catch those responsible for this. And my job is to protect my daughter. I continue to hold her and place a kiss on her head.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Once Phoebe is calm, I am able to get her to eat some breakfast. She didn't have dinner last night, so I'd ordered some pancakes, bacon, eggs and fruit for her and myself. I'm impressed when I see that she's eating most of it. I also have a coffee for me and tea for her. We eat in silence, which is fine as long as she's eating. I purposely keep the television off because I don't want her to see any of the media coverage of her school. I have her iPod here so we are listening to her music. I don't mind it really. As long as she's here, and she's safe, I will listen to her music with her as much as she needs me to.

Once she is finished I move her tray away and show her a bag of clothes that Taylor had dropped off for her. He also brought clothes for me, but I decide to wait and shower once we're home.

"Here Baby, Mrs Taylor had packed some things for you." She manages a small smile when she sees the clothes that Gail had picked out. I manage to smile as well. "I'll leave you to it."

I start to leave the room, but I am halted by her terrified voice. "No, wait!"

I turn and walk back toward the bed. "What is it?"

She hesitates. "Don't leave. Please."

"Peanut, I promise I am not going anywhere. I'll be just outside."

I look at her face and can see that she is troubled. She doesn't want me to leave the room. "Please, just…. turn around, I can change quickly."

I nod and do as she wishes. It only takes about thirty seconds for her to change out of her hospital gown and into capri shorts and a top that Gail had packed. I face her again when she lets me know that I can and watch her put socks and shoes on. I slowly walk toward the bed and sit next to her. "Are you okay?"

She shakes her head and stays silent as she ties her shoe. _Dumb question Grey!_ I reach into her bag and pull out the hairbrush. I start to gently brush her hair, and she remains still as I do it. I keep doing it until Dr Henning joins us.

"Good Morning" she says with enthusiasm. "How'd you sleep?"

Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. "Okay"

"Good. I just want to do a quick check and then we'll have you out of here."

I step aside and let he doctor check her over. Once she's finished she hands over the discharge papers for me to sign. "Thank you Doctor" I say as I pass the clipboard back to her. There is a note on the clipboard for me to call her later to discuss how Phoebe is doing, as she doesn't want to talk in front of her. I'm grateful for that. I just want to get her home. I smile at her once the doctor leaves. "Ready Peanut?"

"You said I could visit Ava" she says softly.

I nod. "That I did. Let's go."

I take my daughter's hand and her bag and lead her out of the room. We walk in silence to the elevator, to the fourth floor and then to Ava's room. Ava is awake when we arrive and Ethan is with her. Phoebe is emotional again when she sees her cousin. She rushes over to the bed and hugs her. Ava is ready for her as she sits up and puts her arms out in time.

"Are you okay?" Ava asks with concern.

Phoebe pulls out of the hug and sits on the bed. "You're asking me if I'm okay? Ava, you were shot?"

Ava shrugs her shoulders. I'm sure it's just to placate my daughter. "I'll survive. They took the bullet out and told me that I'll have to use crutches for a few weeks. And check it out, they're letting me keep it."

She pulls out the bullet that they took out of her leg and I start to get angry, but luckily Ethan speaks up before I do.

"Ava, not now. Put it away."

"Sorry" Ava says once she sees her mistake. She seems a little fidgety and nervous.

"What about cheerleading?" Phoebe asks her.

Ava shrugs her shoulders again. "Basketball cheerleading doesn't start for months, I'll be fine by then. You need to chill, Grey. We both got out of there. Thanks to Super Dad back there." She looks over at me and I can't help but smile. "Do you think I can have a few minutes alone with him?"

Uh oh, this won't go well. Phoebe wouldn't even let me leave her alone in her hospital room. I look over at Ethan and hope that he gets the hint. I'm relieved when I see him stand. "Come on Phoebe, we'll call your Aunt Mia and see how things are at Bellevue."

Ethan and Phoebe leave the room, and suddenly Ava looks like she wants to cry. I walk over and sit on her bed so that I am facing her. I hold one of her hands while she uses the other to wipe some tears that have escaped. "I'm sorry, that was really stupid of me to show her the bullet. I just don't know what to say around her."

"It's okay" I try.

"No, it's not okay" she shoots back. "None of this is okay. Uncle Christian, Rachel had the gun. She was trying to shoot Phoebe. Uncle Ethan said she's still out there." I pull her up and hug her to my chest, being careful not to touch her leg. I rub my hand in circles on her back. Ava's always been so much stronger than Phoebe, but neither of them should have ever had to endure this violence. "I was so scared she was going to kill her."

I pull out of the hug and help her rest comfortably against her pillows. "I'm going to do everything I can to keep the two of you safe. I also have my men out there looking for Miss Wilson. They'll find her." She offers a nod and wipes some more tears. I reach over for the tissue box and give her a few. "There's always going to be a guard outside this door for as long as you're here, and there will also be a guard close by anytime you are taken for tests."

This seems to placate her. She nods again and blows her nose. "Thank you" she says softly, which doesn't sound like her at all. "I know you got me out of there before you even knew where Phoebe was."

I look down and nod. I was looking for Phoebe when I found Ava. But I would never have left Ava in that state. I look up at her face again. "You're welcome."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

_(Female voice) police are looking into the shooting that happened at The Sound Prep yesterday just after eleven am…. (Male voice) twelve people confirmed dead, including five teachers and seven female students… (Female voice) the investigation could take up to six months to complete…. (Male voice) school officials are unsure of when students can return to the school, no word on the possibility of holding classes in other locations…. (Female voice) police are still looking for the suspect in the shooting, nineteen year old Rachel Wilson. It's been confirmed that she was a former student of The Sound Prep. Police have no word on motive at this time… (Male voice) Miss Wilson's family could not be reached for comment… (Female voice) Later tonight, a look into just who Rachel Wilson is, we will hear from one of her closest friends….. (Female voice) parents and students across the country are outraged this morning as the fight for stricter gun laws in our communities does nothing to stop the gun violence in our schools…..(Male voice) the president plans to visit Seattle, we will hear from him later today… (Female voice) police are asking for the public's help in tracking down Rachel Wilson. A ten thousand dollar reward has been posted for information that will lead to her arrest….._

* * *

_**Thank you so much for the continued support. This is something I've had in mind for a while. It is unfortunate that school shootings actually do happen, and too often. It affects us even when we don't know any of the people in the community. I remember Columbine, I was a senior in high school at the time and people thought it would be funny to spread rumors at our school that it would happen at our prom. I was young and that scared me. I remember Newtown. Each and every one of those kids and teachers were beautiful people that we got to know only because the media was all over it, which is why I felt it was important to put a bunch of scattered lines from the media coverage in this chapter. I was an adult, not a scared kid. I went to my nephew's holiday choral concert that night and just cried, because all I could think about while watching him and his classmates was those kids from Newtown. While it was important to get to know the people of Newtown and grieve, media was often intrusive, which I also tried to implement in this chapter. I apologize if this direction offends anyone. I definitely don't wish for this to happen to anyone in real life.**_

_**For those of you who guessed that it was Rachel, the bully from my first story, great job! I was thrilled when I read those reviews because I haven't mentioned Rachel for quite some time. **_

_**Thanks again and Happy Reading!**_


	33. Fifty Calm and Quiet

Christian's POV

The car ride home is silent, which is to be expected. Phoebe is staring out the window. I doubt that she's enjoying the scenery. I have a strong feeling that her thoughts are elsewhere. We have music from her iPod playing softly through the speakers. I had called Dr Flynn this morning to see if he could see Phoebe this week, and I asked him to clue me in on ways I could help my daughter after such a traumatic experience. One of the things he told me was to keep her in a quiet and relaxed environment. No loud noises and no fast movements. That shouldn't be too difficult. Our home is pretty relaxed and quiet. I don't want her to think about the shootings. I need to keep her busy. I reach over and take her hand. At first she looks down at her lap and then she looks over at our hands. _Think of something to say, Grey._

"Mom and Natalie will be home when we get there. I was thinking we could have a pajama movie day" I tell her. Her eyes are still focused on our hands. "It's been some time since we've done that. I'm looking forward to it. We can make some popcorn and some milkshakes…." I stop when I see that she has tears rolling down her cheeks. She brings her other hand up to her face to dry them. "Peanut, what is it?" She glances at Taylor and doesn't answer me. I leave go of her hand so that I could sit forward and talk to Taylor. "Taylor, ear buds please" I whisper to him. He does as he's told and continues to drive. I lean back in my seat properly and pull Phoebe closer to me. I keep my arm around her and I'm pleased that she doesn't pull away. "Please talk to me" I say to her softly.

"You're being so nice" she says softly and tearfully.

"I'm always nice to you. Why should now be any different?" I keep my tone light as I talk to her.

"What I did was so horrible. I hurt you." There is so much pain and emotion in her voice. I hate seeing her like this. I sigh and rub my hand up and down her side since my arm is still draped around her.

"Yes, you did hurt me. But I forgive you." I try to be firm with my words. She needs to let this go. I hate what she did but I don't want her to carry the guilt with her forever.

"It's too much to forgive." More tears drip down her face and she uses her fingers to dry them. I bring my hand over to cover the side of her head and kiss her forehead.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" I say to her softly. I gently stoke my fingers through her hair. "Please don't cry. I need to tell you something." I wait until she is calmer before I continue. "I don't like what you did, and I'd rather you not do it again. But I think you've come a long way since you've been back." I kiss her forehead again before I continue. "I always knew that you cared about people, I've never doubted that. But now I can see that you are more aware of how your actions affect the people that care about you. You are more aware of people's feelings." She nods and wipes some more tears. I kiss her head once more and reach over for her seatbelt. I unbuckle it and pull her into my lap. She allows it and rests her head against my shoulder. I just want to keep my arms around her and hold her. I could have lost her yesterday. She's still my little girl. I don't care how old she is. I am so fucking grateful that she is still here with us. I don't think I could survive losing Ana or any of our children. That is why I work so hard to keep them safe. That is why I insist that each member of my family has security follow them. That is why I have rules and punishments for breaking those rules. Phoebe is alive, and now we need to help her survive this.

When we arrive home I slowly slide her off of my lap and help her out of the car. I take her hand and we walk into the house together. Ana greets us in the foyer and takes Phoebe into her arms.

"Hey sweet girl. I'm so glad you're home" she says to her with tears in her eyes.

"Hi Mom" Phoebe says to her as they pull apart.

"Hi Baby. Come on, come into the kitchen. Gail has been baking muffins."

I feel a smile grow on my face as I watch my girls and then follow them. The sweet aroma of blueberry muffins fills the air as we get closer to the kitchen. We see Gail and she also greets Phoebe with a hug. There will probably be a lot of that going on this week. I'm grateful to Gail for engaging Phoebe in helping her mix some more batter. I put my arm around Ana and we watch as our daughter relaxes and measures out the ingredients.

Our momentary peace is shattered when we hear the sound of gunshots being fired. Ana and I flinch and quickly look around the kitchen. Phoebe covers her ears and screams. We watch in horror as she lowers herself to the floor. Ana and Gail help her as I rush to the source of the sounds. They are coming from the main room. I'm in there instantly and I find Natalie standing in front of the sofa covering her ears. The television's surround sound and volume are turned up all the way and there is a movie playing with a gun fight. I find the remote control and quickly switch off the television. I run my hand through my hair and feel my heart racing. This is the last thing we need right now. I look down at my little girl. Her little hands are still holding her ears. She is looking up at me and she has a pouty lip. I know that scared her, and my reaction to it didn't help matters. I drop the remote and pick her up. She quickly wraps her arms around my neck. "Hey Sweat Pea. You're okay. Everything's okay." I look back at the television and notice that the DVD player is powered up. "Were you watching one of your movies?" She nods while her head is still buried into my neck. I rub her back to calm her. Her movie must have ended and then shut off. "It's alright, Baby. You didn't do anything wrong. Let's go find Mommy and get some juice."

I carry her into the kitchen and find my wife and daughter on the floor. Phoebe's head is rested against Ana's chest and Ana is stroking her hair. Gail quickly cleans the counter since some of the ingredients have spilled. "Gail, could you take Natalie to her room with her sippy cup?" I ask her softly. She smiles at me and takes my daughter into her arms. She takes her sippy cup out of the refrigerator and leaves the room. I sit on the floor and put my arms around my wife and daughter. "It's okay. It was just the television. I turned it off. How 'bout we go and sit?"

I help Ana and Phoebe stand and they walk to the main room ahead of me. I boil some water and prepare tea for them. I could go for some tea myself. Once the water boils I pour it into three mugs and carry them into the main room using a tray. I place it on the coffee table and sit next to it so that I can face my wife and daughter. I don't know what to say to her or how to help her. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. All I know is that the lost look on her face is breaking my heart.

"Phoebe I'm sorry" I say to her softly. That's the only thing that comes to mind. We stay silent until she speaks up.

"I want to know what happened" she says softly.

Ana takes her hand and squeezes it. "Honey, are you sure?" Phoebe nods but doesn't look at either of us.

"I don't think that's a good idea" I say to them. Ana looks me at pleadingly. She wants to talk about this?

"Please" Phoebe pleads as well. "I need to know. I need to know everything. I know you Dad, I know you had your people look into this. You probably know more about this than the police do."

She's right. I had Welch give me a full update this morning while she was still sleeping. But do I really need to tell her everything? She'll think it's her fault.

"Dad?" she pleads again.

"Okay" I make the decision. I will tell her. "Drink some tea first." I pass her one of the mugs and she starts to sip it. I pass one to Ana as well and take a sip of mine before I start sharing the information from Welch. "Phoebe, before I tell you this, you need to know that none of this is your fault" I say to her sternly. She looks up at me and we make eye contact. "Do you understand that?" She nods and I continue. "We know who had the gun, and the police know too. We know that she acted alone in the shooting, but what we don't know is if she had any help getting in and out of the school." I wait for Phoebe to drink some more of her tea before I take the mug from her, but she just keeps it in her lap. I take it from her anyway because I don't want her to spill it. I put it on a coaster in front of her so that she can reach for it at any time.

"Dad, who had the gun?" she asks me pointedly.

I sigh. "It was Rachel Wilson." I watch as my daughter's face fills with shock and then grows pale. "It wasn't just you she was after. She was after other people too."

"Who….. who died? You said people died."

"Five teachers, they were all male, and then seven female students. It seems she was after some teachers that gave her bad grades, and some teachers she had inappropriate relations with."

I watch my daughter's face twist into a disgusted scowl. "Uhh, she slept with her teachers?"

I rub my hands up and down my face. "So it seems. And the students, well, we assume she targeted them because they resembled her when she was a senior. Each were blond and slim, each were either cheerleaders or dancers."

Phoebe shakes her head. "How…. how could she do this? I thought she was in jail?"

"She was in a correctional facility for young women. She served two of her five year sentence for conspiracy to kidnap you."

"They let her go?" she asks me with disgust. "Why, why would they do that?"

"Shouldn't they have contacted us to let us know she was getting out?" Ana asks me as she squeezes our daughter's hand.

"I've asked Carrick about that. He said they issue a letter that we'll get in the mail. Rachel was released the day it was mailed, which was only a couple days ago."

"They should have called" Ana says frustratingly. I can't argue with that. Their fucking letter system gave Miss Wilson a good head start on going after my daughter. I rub my hands roughly over my face. I didn't sleep last night and it is starting to catch up with me.

"I need to know who died" Phoebe says with her voice cracking.

I pull my blackberry out of my pocket and retrieve the email from Welch with the list of names of the deceased. "Are you sure?" I ask her and she nods. I read off the names to her, first the teachers and then the students. I watch helplessly as tears roll down her cheeks again. I know she knew the teachers and probably all of the students. Those girls were seniors and they've done cheerleading with Ava. Some of them have danced but not with Phoebe. Ana rubs her back and passes her a few tissues. I'm at a loss right now. This is something she's going to remember forever. Seven of her classmates killed in her school. She wasn't exactly best friends with these girls, but she's probably known most of them since grade school. Ana and I know their parents. I may need to set up a few extra sessions with Flynn myself. How the fuck do I handle this?

I watch as Phoebe reaches for her tea and a takes the last few sips. "Would you like some more tea?" I ask her, and she shakes her head. "There's more that I need to tell you." My tone is low. I wish I didn't have to tell her this but she needs to know for her own safety. I purposely waited until we were home before telling her because I didn't want her to feel frightened at the hospital and during the ride home.

"What is it?"

"They haven't found her yet" I say softly. I watch as Phoebe's eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.

"She's out there?"

"Yes"

She looks like she's going to panic. Her eyes glance around the room and I can see the horror and fear in her face. "Wh mm huh.. how? How did she get out? There were police all over that school?"

"We don't know yet, and we don't know if she had help. The police are still working on that, as is Welch. He's checking to see who she's had contact with as far back as a year ago" I explain to her. This does nothing to placate her though. I lean forward and place my hands on the sides of her knees. "She can't get to you here. Taylor has hired extra security to guard inside and outside the front gate. We also have extra security out on the water. She won't get to you here Phoebe."

She wipes some more tears from her face. She's angry now. "So, what does that mean? I can't leave the house? I'm stuck here until they find her?"

I sigh and shake my head. I'd prefer to keep her here until they find her, and a part of me thought Phoebe wouldn't argue with me on that point. "I think we should stay in today. And I'd like to be with you if you go out, just until they find her. I don't think she can stay hidden for long."

She nods and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. Ana wraps her arms around her and gives her a tight squeeze. She starts to calm down. "You know, being stuck in this house today won't be so bad" Ana says to her. "Why don't we get into our pajamas?"

Phoebe smiles as Ana gives her another squeeze. "Okay, but then can I help Mrs Taylor bake again?"

I manage to smile at her. "Sure Peanut. She should be finished getting Natalie to settle for her nap." I stand and kiss both of my girls before we leave the room together.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I am on edge about that girl still being out there. When we heard those gunshots from the television they sounded real. My poor daughter was so frightened. I'm glad we've managed to get her to calm, but I have a feeling that we'll have more episodes like that. Christian had sent me a text message earlier to warn me that we needed to keep the house calm, quiet and relaxed. That certainly wasn't calm, quiet or relaxed. Phoebe and I are in her bedroom changing into our pajamas. She didn't want to be by herself so I brought my pajamas into her room to change with her. Christian is in our room changing. It's probably a good thing that I'm changing with Phoebe. If I were with my husband, I wouldn't let him get dressed before a little play time. We would have been up here for a while, and I don't think it's a good time for us to be away from Phoebe for too long. I'll get to see him in his pajama bottoms all day. I just love the way they hang low from hips. I'm going to have to work really hard to control myself around him. God I want him. _Focus, Ana. Focus on Phoebe. Not your sexy husband. _Oh, but he is sexy. I need him. It's been too long. No, I can't think about that right now. I need to focus on my daughter.

We walk downstairs into main room and I see my blackberry light up. I pick it up and see that I have a text message from Teddy. He wants to skype with Phoebe.

"Sweetheart, Teddy would like to skype with you" I tell her. I retrieve my lap top from Christian's study and set it up on the coffee table. We fire it up and within seconds we see Teddy's face.

"Phoebe, thank God you are alright."

"Hi Teddy" she says with a smile. I start to feel relief with having my daughter next to me and my son on skype. It's almost like he's here with us.

"I can't believe this is happening."

Phoebe shakes her head. "Yeah, me neither."

"I wish I could be there with you. Rebecca says hello."

"Tell Rebecca I say hello back. And don't worry, Teddy. Mom and Dad are here and they haven't left my side."

This seems to placate Teddy somewhat. "Well good, you really shouldn't be alone. Phoebs, please don't be afraid to ask for help. I know how stubborn you can be." Phoebe and I both laugh at that. "I mean it."

Phoebe looks at me and then back at her brother. "I promise Teddy. I love you."

"I love you too, Sis. Mom."

"I love you too Teddy."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I'm starting to feel a little bit better after skyping with Teddy. Mrs Taylor is back in the kitchen and we have started preparing the muffin batter again. I love baking with Mrs Taylor. I don't get to do it very often since I'm so busy with volunteering, dance and now school. Speaking of school, I forgot to ask Dad about what will happen with classes. I really don't want to go back to that school any time soon, especially with Rachel still out there. I really hope they catch her soon. I stop stirring the mix and look at my arms. I have goose bumps and I'm shaking. I need to stop thinking about her. Thankfully my thoughts are interrupted by Mrs Taylor. She tells me that that is enough stirring and it is time to pour the batter into the muffin cups. She helps me do it to avoid a big mess. I can't help but smile. Dad slowly glides into the kitchen and he has a smile on his face. I smile back at him.

"Is that a smile Peanut?"

"Yes" I say and continue to pour the batter with Mrs Taylor. Once we are finished she puts the muffins into the oven and sets the timer.

"Thank you Mrs Taylor. Phoebe, are you ready for the first movie?"

"Can we still make popcorn and milkshakes?"

Dad smiles at me again. "Of course. Wanna help me?"

I retrieve two bags of microwave popcorn from the cupboard and set one of them up in the microwave while Dad gathers the ice cream, milk and syrup for the milkshakes. Mrs Taylor brings the blender out for us and leaves us to it. "Chocolate or vanilla?" he asks me.

"Chocolate"

"Chocolate it is." Dad scoops the ice cream into the blender and has me pour the syrup and milk.

"Not too much syrup, I don't want Natalie bouncing off the walls." I giggle as I remember something. Dad used to make chocolate milk for me since I didn't like milk. He would only pour a little bit of chocolate and I would frown. He would watch me as he poured a tiny bit more, and then a tiny bit more, and then a tiny bit more, and then his face would light up when he saw me smile at him. He was always so proud of himself when he was able to get me to smile. I would drink the chocolate milk and then become a ball of energy for the rest of the day. Forget taking a nap on the weekends, that didn't happen if I had too much chocolate. But as a result, I would be put to bed early.

I finish pouring the milk and then place the top on the blender. Dad mixes the milkshake as I heat the second bag of popcorn. I like this. First, working in the kitchen with Mrs Taylor and then Dad. Heck, I like anything I get to do with Dad. When he's not Mr Powerful CEO or Mr Discipline he can be really fun to be around. We put the popcorn into two big bowls and the milkshakes into three glasses. Dad pours some into a cup with a lid and straw for Natalie. We don't usually eat in the main room, but when we do we need to be extremely careful.

Mom and Natalie are already settled in the main room when we bring the snacks. Dad had put Natalie in her Ariel pajamas after her nap. Natalie is really excited about her milkshake. Dad pulls her into his lap and tells her that she can only drink it while she's sitting with him. Mom and I take the bowls of popcorn and share with Dad and Natalie. I relax and watch the movie, "Enchanted". I've never actually seen this one. I know Dad doesn't enjoy these kinds of movies but he sits through them for Natalie. I certainly don't mind this one. Patrick Dempsey is hot.

Once the movie is finished I feel an overwhelming need to pee. I can tell Mom does too. She gets up and rushes to the bathroom. I remember when she was pregnant with Natalie. She used to tell me that the baby liked to dance on her bladder. I internally giggle at the thought as I wait outside the bathroom for her to finish. I could very well go and use one of the other bathrooms in the house, but I don't want to. I'm afraid to be by myself. I can wait.

As soon as Mom emerges from the bathroom she is surprised to see me.

"Oh Phoebe, I didn't know you were waiting."

"That's okay Mom" I tell her as I work hard to hold it in. I really shouldn't have waited until the movie was over but I didn't want to leave the room alone. That reminds me. "Um Mom, could you just… wait here until I come out?"

"Sure darling."

I rush into the bathroom and I'm grateful that she doesn't question me. I just don't want to be by myself, even when I'm using the bathroom. I leave the door open just a crack so that I can have a little bit of privacy. I hurry up and finish, wash my hands and do a lousy job of drying them before I quickly open the door all the way. I think I held my breath the entire time I was in there. I see Mom and she looks like she has a big question mark on her face.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom" I say breathlessly. I walk past her and back toward the main room where I'm greeted by a friendly face. "Trevor" I say with a gasp. I walk toward him and we wrap our arms around each other. I feel his nose in my hair. I can't help but get emotional while in his arms. Just yesterday we were in each other's arms like this, cuddled on the floor under a table in the projection booth. I was so scared, and being in his arms was the only thing keeping me from losing it. We stay like this for minutes until I hear Dad's voice.

"Trevor, we'd like for you to join us for dinner."

Trevor and I slowly pull apart and look at Dad. "Thank you Mr Grey." He looks between me and my parents and has a funny expression on his face. "Am I overdressed?" I slap his chest and take his hand to lead him over to the couch.

Trevor joins us for the next movie. His arm is around me and Dad's is around Mom. Natalie is on the floor next to the coffee table playing with some toys. I wouldn't mind having more days like this. Just relaxing in our main room with a movie, and of course having Trevor here. He hasn't said much, but then again neither have I. I don't really want to talk about Rachel or what happened yesterday. Trevor knows about the things Rachel has done to me, from messing with my school records, to setting me up to get punished, to conspiring with Jay to kidnap me. I've even managed to tell him about what Jay did to me. We had a lot of time to talk while we were on the road trip. We weren't having sex, so we did a lot of talking. He knows about our pajama movie days, which is why it wasn't too big of a surprise when he saw that we were all wearing pajamas. He told me some things about his childhood. He also told me about his ex-girlfriend and why they broke up. I'm sure we will talk about the shooting when we are both ready.

After the movie we have dinner at the breakfast bar. As usual Dad is helping Natalie with her dinner. Natalie's been doing a pretty good job of eating most of her dinner on her own, but then she would get tired and Dad would help her. Natalie is so cute, I must admit. Since none of us are talking we are mostly focusing on her while we're eating.

Dad finishes and then blots his lips with his napkin. "Trevor, would you like to stay for a while and watch another movie with Phoebe?"

I look over at Trevor and wait for his answer. He looks surprised as he blots his lips with his napkin just as Dad has done. "Sure, thank you."

"Good. Phoebe, your mother and I will be putting Natalie to bed and then doing some things around the house."

Yeah right, who is he kidding? I know exactly what they'll be doing. I work to keep my expression serious as to not blush and feel embarrassed about it. "Okay"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

After we bathe Natalie and put her to bed, I draw a hot bubble bath for Ana and me. The sun is just starting to set, so I have an idea. It's been a while since we've done this. I keep the lights off, light some candles and put a movie on in our bathroom. We also have some of the sunlight shining in the window so it's not too dark. Ana walks in and I can just make out the expression on her face.

"Christian" She is amused, and aroused. I can tell.

I walk over to her and gently caress her chin. "I believe you are wearing too much clothing, Mrs Grey." I slowly peel her pajamas off of her and hold her hand as she steps out of her pants. I then wrap my arms around her and undo her bra as I kiss her passionately. I need to make up for not being in bed with her last night. I am aware that her pregnancy is causing her to be insatiable. I feel her tongue start to explore my mouth as I lower the straps of her bra and let it fall to the ground. I take her chin between my thumb and finger as we continue kissing. My fingers trail down her body and find the waistband of her panties. I lower them and hold her hand as she steps out of them. My beautiful, naked and pregnant Ana. I shake my head as I take in the sight of her.

"See something you like?"

"Oh Anastasia, I will never tire looking at you." I guide her over to the tub and hold her hand as she steps in. Once she is settled I put on a little show for her and strip out of my pajamas. She gives me that sexy grin of hers and brushes her foot suggestively up her leg. I groan and feel myself harden. Once my clothes are off I climb into the tub and have her sit between my legs. She relaxes against me and we just sit and enjoy each other's touch.

I don't pay any attention to the movie. My mind wanders and all I can think about is how scared I was yesterday. Ana realizes that my mind is elsewhere and leans up so that she can look at me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asks me. I frown and look down as I run my fingers down her arm. "Christian, Baby what is it?"

I shake my head and I can feel the tears threatening. This is not how I wanted our special time alone tonight to pan out. I wanted to relax in our bath together and then make love in our bed, not sit here and cry my eyes out. I feel Ana's hand softly caress my cheek. She is wiping my tears. I didn't realize they have fallen.

"Please talk to me."

I sit up a bit more straight and move her so that she is sitting astride me and facing me. She places her hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes. "I was so scared yesterday" I manage to say. She nods but she doesn't say anything. "Anastasia, we could've lost our daughter" I choke out. I am nearly sobbing. Just the thought that that could've happened is destroying me. The tears that I've been fighting continue to fall. "I couldn't take it, Ana. I couldn't handle losing you or any of our kids. Just knowing that somebody went into that school and shot at our daughter….. and almost killed her…" I can't even finish the sentence. My sobs are becoming more prominent now. Ana's hands move to the sides of my face and she makes me look at her. She has tears running down her cheeks as well. She lets me burry my face into her neck and I just sob. I let go all of the pain and fear that I've held in since yesterday afternoon. I can't remember the last time that I cried like this. Have I ever? I know I cried when Ana was in the hospital after Jack fucking Hyde kidnapped her. I was scared then too. I continue to cry as Ana consoles me. I can feel her hand in my hair, stroking and pulling at it gently. This feels good, being in her arms and letting go. I think she's crying too. I pull away so that I can look at her. Her eyes are swollen. I can imagine what my eyes look like right now. I gently rub my thumbs down the sides of her eyes. Next thing I know her lips are on mine, kissing me hard with so much passion and need. We need this. We need each other. We are all lips and tongues and hands and arms, until she lifts herself onto me. Her hands are now on my shoulders and she is riding me. I place my hands on the bottom of the tub to keep us from slipping. She starts to ride harder, and I can feel her building. I meet her thrusts and I know she is close. "Oh, Ana!" She throws her head back and lets out a groan. She climaxes first, and I follow after one last thrust. She leaves go of my shoulders and I quickly wrap my arms around her, pulling her back toward me and preventing her from falling backwards.

"I love you so much" she says breathlessly.

"I love you too Anastasia."

It takes some time for us to calm, but once we do I have her relax against me between my legs again. I enjoy having her in my arms like this, and having the bathroom nearly dark like this helps to calm my nerves. I gently rub my thumb up and down her arm and kiss her temple. She brings my other hand to her lips and plants gentle kisses. Before I know it the movie credits start to run. It doesn't feel like we've been in here that long. The sun is fully set and it is dark outside. The only light we see now is from the television and the few candles that are still lit. I kiss Ana's temple again and bring my hands down to her baby bump.

"We need to keep you calm too, for our babies. No stress Mrs Grey."

I plant a few kisses on her cheek before I gently push her forward and climb out of the tub. I dry myself, wrap a towel around my waste and then help Ana out. I help her get dry and then wrap the towel around her. She stands in front of me and leans up for a kiss. I kiss her and then gently bite on her lower lip. "Wait for me in bed?" I whisper to her, and she nods. I need to arrange for Trevor to get home safely and I need to make sure Phoebe is settled in her room for the evening before I turn in. I also need to see if there is an update on Miss Wilson.


	34. Fifty Monsters and Nightmares

Christian's POV

After I arrange for Dovis to give Trevor a ride home, I give him and Phoebe a few minutes to say goodnight. Phoebe seems more relaxed after having spent time with her boyfriend. I'm glad. They went through this horrible experience together, so it only makes sense for them to help each other through it. Of course she'll have me and her mother to lean on as well. I will always be there for my daughter, no matter how old she is and no matter who her boyfriends are. I'd rather be the only man she counts on. I'm her father. I'm supposed to protect her from all of the bad stuff in this world. Seeing her with Trevor though, he's not so bad after all. I'm not forgetting about the fucking road trip. I'll never forget about that. But when I see him with Phoebe, I can see that he cares about her. He respects her. And from what Ana has told me, he hasn't had sex with her. How he'd managed to get through three weeks on the road with her without having sex is beyond me. He is a teenager after all. That right there just proves to me that he is good for my daughter, and that I shouldn't chase him away.

Phoebe says goodbye to Trevor and then joins me in the main room. She has a smile on her face, and I can't help but smile back.

"Did you and Trevor have a nice evening?"

She blushes and nods. I lightly chuckle at just how similar she is to Ana.

"What, why are you laughing?" she asks me, clearly annoyed.

"It's nothing, Peanut. Ready to turn in?"

She nods again and I follow her up to her bedroom. As I walk through the door she turns and surprises me by wrapping her arms around my waste and leaning her head against me. I wrap my arms around her and return the hug. "What's this for?" I ask her softly.

She pulls away and smiles lightly. "For inviting Trevor over. Thank you for doing that. I really wanted to see him."

I reach my hand out and stroke her hair. "I think you both needed it. Honey, I don't mind Trevor. He can come over anytime. Just, no more road trips. Promise me."

"I promise"

I look at her quizzically. "Really? That was kind of fast. Are you sure you can make that kind of promise?"

"Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. Part of me did enjoy the adventure and spontaneity of it. And I felt safe with Trevor. But I didn't like hurting or disappointing you. No adventure in the world is worth that. I really am sorry, Dad."

"I know you are. You don't have to keep apologizing." She nods again, and then she looks unsure. "What is it?"

"Um, do you think you can stay in here while I take a shower? I promise I'll be quick."

I take note of the sudden terror in her voice and in her eyes as she asks me this. Just like this morning, she is afraid to be left alone. I quickly shake my head when I realize I haven't answered her. "Sure, Honey, go ahead. But take your time though, you don't need to rush. I'll just read through some emails."

"Thanks Dad." She reaches up and kisses my cheek before she grabs her pajamas and hurries into her bathroom. I watch her as she rushes in and only closes the door slightly. She leaves it open a few inches. I sit on her bed and can't help but wonder how long this will go on. She doesn't want to be alone, and she can't use the toilet or shower with the door closed.

I pull out my blackberry when I hear the shower water running. I access my endless list of emails and open one of them. It is from one of my team leads in Taiwan. I only have to read the first few sentences to realize that I need to make an appearance out there soon. Fuck, this is not a good time for that. My family needs me. Ana is five months pregnant. Phoebe is recovering from being a target of a school shooting. And if things weren't bad enough, that fucking girl is still out there. The police are looking for her, as are my men, but so far nobody's been able to locate her. Some of my next emails are from my men letting me know the details of the search. I don't want details. I need results. I need my daughter to feel safe again. What the fuck do I pay these clowns for? I angrily respond to one of the emails, demanding that they keep searching until Miss Wilson is found.

I hit send and then notice that the shower water has been turned off. I need to calm down. I can't let Phoebe see me worked up like this. I tuck my blackberry away and rub my hands over my face and then through my hair. I start to count in my head. That usually helps. Before I know it, Phoebe is dressed in her pajamas and walking through her bedroom. Her hair is sopping wet. "Come sit, I'll dry your hair" I tell her. She brings her towel and hairbrush over and sits on the bed next to me. I take the towel from her and take my time drying her hair. It's gotten really long over the past couple of months.

"Dad, you know how you said you don't want me to go anywhere without you?"

I nod even though she can't see me. I told her this morning that I don't want her to leave the house unless I am with her, until Miss Wilson is caught. And maybe sometime after that. "Yes. Is there somewhere you need to go?"

"Well, I'd like to get my hair cut."

I smile at this revelation. Something so little and low maintenance. She just wants a haircut. "Sure Peanut. We can go to the salon, or I can have someone come to the house."

"Thanks Dad, but I'd really like to go out if that's okay. I don't want to be afraid to leave the house."

I nod again. "Understood. We'll make an appointment for tomorrow." I continue to dry her hair for her, and an idea comes to me. I need to know how she spent her weeks away from home. I guess now is as good a time as any. "Tell me about the road trip."

I can tell that she is surprised by this. She doesn't answer me right away. "You want to know about my trip?" I actually do. I've let my pain and anger get in the way of finding out how my daughter spent those three weeks.

"Yes, I do. I'm always interested in what my kids are doing. Tell me about the places you've visited."

Phoebe is reluctant, but once she starts talking she can't stop. She tells me about Sacramento, visiting the state capitol and riding "The Great Train Robbery" train. She goes on to talk about San Francisco and walking across the Golden Gate Bridge. She didn't take any money with her, and she didn't use her emergency ATM card, so I know Trevor must have paid for everything. I'll need to remedy that. "My favorite was Yosemite Falls" she says, and I can tell she is smiling even though I can't see her face. "We spent a whole day hiking and we had a picnic lunch. It was so beautiful and peaceful there. Other than that we spent a lot of time driving and relaxing. And then we wound up in Los Angeles and stayed there for a few days."

Her tone changes and I can just feel her smile fade. What the hell happened in Los Angeles? Whatever it was, it made her call Sawyer to go and get her. "What happened in Los Angeles?" I ask her softly as I continue to towel dry her hair.

She shrugs her shoulders. "I was ready to come home." I can tell that there is more to it than that. Against my better judgment I decide not to press the issue. The last thing she needs is more stress. Once I'm satisfied that her hair is dry, I have her get into bed and I pull the covers over her. She looks appreciative at me as I sit on the side of her bed.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" I ask her. Even though I've decided to let this thing with Los Angeles go for now, she needs to know that. "I know you find it difficult to talk to me at times, short temper and all, but I promise I'll listen."

"Thanks Dad."

I lean down and kiss her forehead. "You're welcome. Are you going to be okay?" She nods, and I have a feeling that she's just doing that to placate me. This is the first time she'll be alone, really alone since the shooting. I'm reluctant to leave her, and I think she knows it.

"Goodnight Dad" she says and closes her eyes. I take that as my queue to leave.

"Goodnight Peanut. Sleep well."

I shut the light off and look down at her before I leave. She seems to be okay with the lights off. I decide to leave her door open just a crack.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

Christian's been gone for a while, but I can't complain. I'm sure it's because he is spending time with Phoebe. He probably doesn't want to leave her alone. I pull out one of my manuscripts and start to read it in bed. I need to do something to pass the time so that I don't fall asleep. I had promised Christian that I wouldn't, but it's becoming more and more difficult. Our bath has made me so relaxed even in this time of immense fear and anxiety.

I move the manuscript aside and look down at my growing belly. Rubbing my hand over it, I can't help but smile. My babies. Christian is right. I need to lay off the stress. But at the same time I can't block out what is happening with Phoebe. I need to be there for my daughter. I put the manuscript down and climb out of the bed. I know that Christian is making sure she is okay, but I want to be there for her too. I'm her mother. As I reach the doorway to my bedroom I jump back and nearly fall on my bum when I see Christian appear.

"Ana, what are you doing?" he asks me as he grabs my wrists to stop me from falling backwards.

I take a moment to breathe and find my balance. "I was just going to check on Phoebe to make sure she's okay."

"She's fine" he says as he closes the door behind him. "She's just falling asleep."

I sigh and look around him at the door again. "Are you sure? Maybe I should sit with her while she falls asleep."

I try to walk past him, but he stops me by wrapping his arms around me. "Anastasia, she's okay. I offered to stay but she said she was fine."

I'm still worried about my daughter, but I want to believe Christian. He would not have left her alone if she wasn't okay with it. I decide to give in and nod. "Good. Now, where were we?" His hands are now on my hips and his nose is touching mine. My fifty, he said he wanted to continue our tryst in our bed, and he was not kidding. He starts by kissing me, and his kiss is filled with so much love and passion. Rather than pick me up he guides me so that I am walking backwards toward our bed while our lips are still connected. I feel the bed against the back of my knees, and then I feel him bite my bottom lip. Our hands are intertwined and down at our sides as our tongues dance that beautiful familiar dance.

"Ana" he breathes as he rubs the side his face up and down against the side of mine. He then starts to plant kisses down my neck, on my shoulder and across my collarbone. I throw my head back to give him easier access. Next thing I know I am in his arms and he is lifting me and laying me down on the bed. I am breathless. I watch him as he starts to strip himself of his clothes. He can't do it fast enough for me. I lean up and help him pull his shirt over his head. He then crawls partially on top of me and holds my head to kiss me deeply. I wrap my hands around him and throw my head back when he starts to plant kisses down my face and neck again. He pulls me up and swiftly pulls the nightgown over my head. He pushes me down again and trails kisses down my body. My hands are in his hair and I am tugging and pulling at it.

"Christian" I say breathlessly. I want him now, but I know that he's not going to give me relief this soon. He continues his trail of kisses and spends extra time at my belly, my pregnancy belly. "Ugg" I groan when he teases me. He starts to move down my body, but then moves up to my belly again. He continues the torture for some time, and then he stops. I look down and see his eyes and that megawatt smile of his.

"What do you want, Baby?"

"You" And just like that, he leans up and he is inside of me, thrusting in and out, first slowly, and then when he sees that I'm okay he picks up the pace. He continues to thrust in and out of me until I find my climax. I cover my mouth and shout his name as he pours into me. I feel him collapse next to me and take my hand in his, kissing each knuckle between heavy breaths.

"Oh Ana"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I am startled awake by the sound of knocking and screaming. At first I think I am dreaming, but the sounds continue. I open my eyes and realize that Phoebe is knocking on our bedroom door and she is crying. I stumble out of bed so fast, it's a miracle I don't trip over my own feet or feel winded from rising from the bed too fast. I quickly open the door and find her standing with her face buried in her arms. I grab her and hold her tight to my chest, trying to calm her and myself for that matter. My heart is beating so hard and fast I swear it will just pop out of my chest at any moment.

"Shhhh, it's okay Peanut" I whisper to her, but I doubt she can hear me over her crying. I can feel Ana getting out of our bed, so I pull Phoebe into our room and shut the door. Ana comes up beside us and puts her hands on both of us. I look at her and our pained eyes meet. I hate seeing our daughter like this. She is so frightened. I pull her away from me slightly and realize that I am just in my boxers. "Let's sit down" I say to her and guide her over to our bed. Ana follows and sits on our bed next to Phoebe as I walk around it in search of pajama bottoms. I find a pair on the chair and slip them on quickly. Ana gently rubs her hand up and down Phoebe's back and she seems to calm down a bit. I walk around the bed and pull a chair over so that I can sit in front of her. "Baby, what is it? What happened?"

She sniffles before she manages a few words, although they are muffled by her trembling and shaking. "I….. I saw h…. her."

"Who, who did you see?"

Ana continues to stroke her hair and her back as I try to talk to her. Phoebe sniffles again before she answers. "R rrrachel. I saw h….. her." She reaches up and dries some of the many tears that have soaked her face. I reach up and dry some for her as well.

"Okay. Baby, where did you see her? Was she in the house?"

I watch her and wait for her to answer. She looks so confused. She dries some more tears and shakes her head. "No, I don't know. It….. it felt real."

I stroke the side of her face and nod at her. "Okay. Just relax, its okay. Take some breaths for me." I'm not sure whether or not this fucking girl somehow managed to get into my house, but I'm not taking any chances. I stand and face away from my girls as I dial Dovis. He has been one of my leads in security for the night detail. I fill him in on what may or may not have occurred and he just tells me that he's on it. I don't need to go into detail about what I need him to do. He already knows to have his team check the footage on the security cameras and to check Phoebe's room. I turn to face my girls again only to hear the baby monitor come to life.

"Daddy" I hear my baby girl whimper a few times. I pick up the monitor and mute the volume.

"I'll go check on her. I want you both to stay in here." I'm not taking any chances. Phoebe's vision could have been a dream. I'm pretty damn sure of it. But then again, Ana once thought that her encounter with Leila was a dream. I lock my bedroom door and rush to Natalie's room. I close her door and lock it and I am by her side instantly. She sits up and looks at me with her big gray eyes that she got from me. "Hey Sweet Pea. What's the matter?"

"Daddy, I heard monster" she says to me with a hint of animation in her voice. I can't help but smile at her.

"Baby, there aren't any monsters."

"Can you check, pweeeeeas?"

I decide to humor my daughter. I walk over to her closet and open it. When I look back at her I can see that she's covering her eyes with her hands. "No monsters in the closet" I tell her. I close the door and walk back toward her.

She uncovers her eyes and points her finger downward. "Check unda da bed."

I sigh and get on my hands and knees. The things I do for my kids. "No monsters under the bed" I say to her. And then I feel her climb onto my back and wrap her arms around my neck. So this is what she is playing at.

"Are you surrrre?"

I lean up and hold her wrists that start to strangle me. "Yes I'm sure" I manage to say before I get her to leave go and aim for her to fall and land back on her bed. I turn around and sit next to her.

"Daddy, I heard da monster. It sounded wike dis. Ahhhhh" she screams, and it is so loud and high pitched I have to cover my ears.

"Natalie, that wasn't a monster" I tell her as calmly as I can despite my annoyance at her screaming. "That was Phoebe."

"Why?"

"Well, Phoebe screamed because she saw a spider." I go with that. I don't think Natalie is old enough to understand that people have bad dreams while they sleep. I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

She giggles at this. "A spider?"

I can't help but smile at her little giggle. "Yes, you know how much Phoebe doesn't like spiders. Now you, young lady, are awake way past your bedtime." I lift her and lay her down properly in her bed and pull the covers over her. I also make sure that she has her teddy bear.

"Can I have juicy?"

"No, you can't have juicy." I reach over and grab her sippy cup from the bedside table. "Here, you can have some water."

She sits up and takes the sippy cup from me with both hands. I watch and wait as she takes several gulps of the water until it is all gone. Once she is finished I take the cup from her and raise an eyebrow. She giggles again.

I shake my head and can't help but smirk. My daughter is just so cute, even at two in the morning. "Okay, sleepy time" I tell her as I lay her down again. I brush her bangs aside and plant a kiss on her forehead. "Go to sleep baby, I'll go and put some more water in here for you." I wait for her to close her eyes. She squeezes her teddy to her chest and rolls to her side. I look down at my blackberry and see a text from Dovis. It reads "_**house is clean**_". I look at my baby girl and she is drifting off to sleep. I know that she'll be okay now so I leave her to it.

After filling her sippy cup with some more water, I leave it for her and return to my own bedroom. I unlock my door and let myself in to see my beautiful Ana on our bed. She is wearing a light purple silk robe over her matching silk maternity night gown. She is sitting up and Phoebe's head is rested on her lap. She had fallen asleep while I was tending to Natalie. Ana strokes her hair and watches me as I walk around the room and find Natalie's monitor. I turn the volume back up and keep it in my hand. I walk around the bed and gently sit down, careful not to wake Phoebe.

"She's asleep" Ana whispers.

"Yes, I can see that."

Ana looks down at Phoebe and continues to stroke her hair. "What now?"

_What now?_ I've always been strict about our kids sleeping in their own beds. We've never had any of our kids sleep in here, ever. Anytime they've needed us at night, one of us, well mostly me, would stay with them in their beds. I look at Phoebe and I know I can't stick to that rule right now. She was so frightened when she came in here, and now she is asleep. I can't bring myself to wake her. "She stays in here. I'll take the sofa."

Ana looks up at me and I can tell she can't believe what she is hearing. Yes, that's how strict I've been about this. There was never any reason to have any of our kids sleep in here. They have their own bedrooms and their own beds, and they have us to stay with them in their bedrooms when they need it. Having them sleep in here would cause them to develop bad habits, and it would interrupt mine and Ana's time together. I need to have Ana in my arms while I sleep. I need to hold her and breathe in her scent anytime I wake from a nightmare. Having one of our kids sleep between us would hinder that. But right now, Phoebe is in here. She came to us because she needed us. And now she's asleep. I could easily just carry her back to her bedroom, but I would risk waking her or her having another nightmare.

"Are you sure, Christian?"

I nod and find a place near the sofa to place Natalie's monitor. "Yes, I'm sure. Will you be okay?"

I watch her nod, and then I retreat to the closet to collect a blanket and pillows for myself. I set up the sofa for myself and take a few steps over to the bed. I move Phoebe so that she is resting her head on the pillow, and so Ana could lie down and get herself comfortable to sleep. I pull the covers over both of them and kiss my girls goodnight. Ana smiles at me and pulls me over for another kiss, this one lasting longer. "I love you" she whispers.

"I love you too" I say to her, my hand still on her cheek and not wanting to let go. When I do I slowly take a few steps backward until the back of my legs touch the sofa that we keep in our bedroom. I get comfortable, as comfortable as I can get without Ana in my arms, and I eventually find sleep.


	35. Fifty Healing

Christian is the first to wake the next morning. He stretches his arms and legs before he rises from the sofa and takes a few steps over to the bed he's shared with Ana for over twenty one years. But last night she shared it with their frightened daughter. He looks down at his girls and feels the calm wash over him. They are both sleeping soundly. Ana is lying on her side facing the middle and her hand is rested over her baby bump. Their two little miracles. Phoebe is lying on her side facing away from Ana. Christian gently brushes her bangs away from her eyes and watches her as she calmly breaths in and out in her sleep, feeling satisfied with himself in his decision to let her sleep in his room. She would not have been okay on her own last night. The sight of her white as a sheet face from just a few hours ago is still burned into his brain. He shakes his head and tries to push that haunting image aside.

Christian's focus is rerouted to the baby monitor as it comes alive with the sound of his baby girl's voice. "Mommy" she calls sleepily. He quickly retrieves the baby monitor from its spot on the side table next to the sofa and mutes the volume again, looking over at the girls to make sure their sleep wasn't disturbed. Ana stirs for a moment, but then settles once more in her sleep. Christian lets out a sigh of relief and leaves the room to take care of Natalie.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Natalie's POV

I'm hungry, and I want juicy, but Daddy says I can only drink water at night time. I drank all of the water in my sippy cup and now it is all gone. I feel yucky stuff in my diapy and I don't like it. "Mommy" I call out. I need Mommy to change me and make the yucky stuff go away. I know that when I call Mommy or Daddy they will come and get me. They take good care of me. Sometimes I need to say Mommy or Daddy a few times before they come in here for me, but not this time. Daddy is already here.

"Daddy" I squeal and throw my arms up in the air. He has a big smile on his face. I like when Daddy smiles.

"Hey Sweet Pea." Daddy picks me up and hugs me, and then I hear him make a mad sound. I hope Daddy isn't mad at me.

"Daddy, I need diapy"

"I know" he says to me, and he's not smiling anymore. Is Daddy mad at me? "Come on Baby, let's get you cleaned up."

He kisses my head and then has me lay down on my bed. Mommy uses the changing table, but Daddy uses the bed. I reach over and grab my Ariel doll. I don't like being changed, especially when my diapy is yucky. I don't think Mommy and Daddy like it either. They make stinky faces while they are wiping me. Sometimes Mommy sings to me when she changes me, but Daddy doesn't. Daddy does it fast and he's always happy when he's all done. I'm happy when he's all done too. Sometimes he tickles me or blows raspberries on my belly. That always makes me laugh. When he's done he picks me up and blows raspberries on my belly. I squeal and laugh and he does it again and again and again. I love Daddy.

"I wove you Daddy"

"I love you too Sweet Pea." Daddy hugs me again. I love Daddy's hugs.

"Daddy, I'm hungry."

"It's not time for breakfast yet. Do you want some cheerios?"

I nod my head up and down fast. Daddy puts his hand on the back of my head and kisses it again. "Okay. It's still very early, so we can get you dressed later."

"Yah" I cheer. I like my pajamas. They have Ariel, Jasmine and Belle on them. Daddy carries me into my closet and we find some slippers. I point to the pink fuzzy ones because I like those ones. I sit on the floor and hold my foot up for him to put one on, and then the other.

"Alright, let's go." He picks me up again and carries me. I like when Daddy carries me.

"Daddy, I wanna see Mommy" I tell him. I love Daddy, but I love Mommy too.

"We can see Mommy later" he whispers. "Mommy's still sleeping."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I wake up and look around for a bit. This isn't my room. This is my parents' room. Why am I in here? I plant my hands on the mattress and sit up. I look around and wonder what time it is. My head hurts. I bring my hand up to the side of my forehead and cover part of my eye. Wow, my head is really pounding. What's happened to me?

"Good morning, sleepy head." I hear my Mom's voice as she walks out of her bathroom. She closes her silk robe across her stomach and ties it. I don't ever see my Mom in lingerie. It's a little disturbing. Maybe that's why Mom and Dad never let us in here. Now that I think about it, I do remember coming in here during the night and I think Dad was wearing boxers. Ugh, this is so embarrassing. I close my eyes and keep my hand on my head. "Honey, does your head hurt? Let me get you some medicine."

Mom disappears in her bathroom for a few seconds and then comes back with two pills and some water. I take the pills and gulp down the water, anxious to relieve this nagging headache. "Thank you" I say to her. I finally look at Mom's face and she's smiling, but it's her worried mother smile. "Mom, I'm sorry I came in here. I know it's against the rules."

Mom puts her hand on top of mine and attempts to relieve my guilt. "Honey, its fine. You needed us. Your father and I are here for you, whatever you need."

"Yeah, but, sleeping in your bed?" I shake my head. I can't believe I slept in here. Mom and Dad have never allowed that.

"Sweetheart, you were so frightened. Your father and I didn't want you to be alone. Your father slept on the sofa over there. In fact, I think we both slept better knowing you were right here, and we could help you if you had another nightmare."

I'm so confused right now. Is that what happened? "I had a nightmare?"

"Yes, you tried to talk to us about it. You said you saw Rachel." I look away from her and try to remember. "Do you remember what you saw?" she asks me.

I look away from her and a vision comes to me. It's like I'm reliving it again. It is dark in my bedroom, and I wake to a figure standing just a few feet away from me. I lean up on my elbows to get a better look at the figure. It is a young woman. The moonlight coming in through my window is shining down on her hair which is blond. As I continue to stare at this woman I am stunned in my spot. I can't move and I can't speak. At first I think she's a ghost, and I'm curious to see what happens. I'm also a bit frightened by it. She doesn't say a word. Flashes of light flicker in my room like lightning has struck nearby, and it allows me a peak at her facial features. Oh my God, it's Rachel! And she's in my room. The next thing I know she has a gun pointed at me. "No!" I scream and cover my face. My mother tries to comfort me, but I don't welcome the touch. "No, please don't" I say to her.

"What's wrong" I hear Dad's voice.

"Sweetheart, it's okay, it's me" Mom says to me. I open my eyes and I look into hers. She looks as frightened as I feel. "It's okay, you're safe, I promise."

I can't catch my breath. I think I'm panicking. I feel Dad sit on the bed next to me and he gently places his hand on my back. "Breathe, Honey" he says softly. I do what he says and take a few deep breaths in and out. I'm sure I sound overdramatic but I don't care. I have to catch my breath and this is the only way I know now. "That's good" he says again with a soft tone.

"I'm sorry" I say when my breathing is calm. Mom and Dad look at me as if I have two heads.

"What are you sorry for?" Dad asks me.

I reach up and dry a tear I have failed to notice escape. "For having a nightmare, for freaking out, and then coming in here crying like some baby…"

"Hey" Dad interrupts me. "You are not a baby, alright?"

"I'm not even allowed in here, and I just woke up and realized that I've slept in here."

"Phoebe, stop, okay?" Dad interrupts me again. He seems angry now. He sighs and I think it's to calm himself down. He has to do that with me a lot lately. "Yes, we have rules in this house, but if protecting you means having to bend them then we're certainly going to do that."

"Dad's right" Mom says. "Baby, you've been through something so horrible that nobody should ever have to face. And it scared you. We don't expect you to just get over it. And we certainly don't expect you to get through it on your own."

Dad is rubbing his hand up and down my back now and they are both staring at me, waiting for me to what? Scream? Cry? Lash out? I honestly don't know what to do or say. I just continue to stare ahead and work on my breathing. I also have to work hard to avoid crying. Mom and Dad are being so great right now. I hate that they have to coddle me and worry about me. Dad's hand has moved into my unruly hair filled with split ends. "Would you still like to get your hair cut today?" I almost forgot that I had asked him to take me. I nod since I can't find the words to answer his question. "Okay" He kisses my head and takes a few steps away from the bed to make a phone call. I hear his side of the conversation as he makes an appointment for me. Mom keeps her spot on the bed and takes both of my hands in hers.

"Please don't feel bad about this, Phoebe. Dad and I want to help you. You need to let us do that." I nod again and notice the pained expression on her face. I don't like seeing that. I have to say something.

"Thanks Mom. Maybe when they find her, maybe then it won't be so scary."

Dad puts his blackberry away and walks back over to the bed. "It's all set. We need to be there by noon. That gives us plenty of time for a nice big breakfast."

I can't help but smile at that. I actually am a little hungry. And I know my eating makes Dad very happy.

"And what do you plan on making us for breakfast?" Mom teases Dad. I can't help but smirk as I watch him for his answer.

"Well, my dear Anastasia, if you plan on actually eating an edible breakfast, I suggest you take charge of the cooking while I take charge of rounding up the troops and setting the table."

I continue to smile in the presence of their teasing. Dad was never good in the kitchen. He sometimes would help Mom out, but most of the time he would be in charge of getting the table ready and getting us ready, clean hands and faces and all. While Mom was recovering after having Natalie, our weekend meals consisted of oatmeal or cereal for breakfast, instant mac and cheese or peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, and reheated meals that Mrs Taylor had prepared for dinner. I don't understand why Dad never attempted to learn to cook. Maybe he just likes my Mom cooking for him. They continue their playful banter and I can't help but smile. Mom and Dad catch me and I see a glimmer of hope in their eyes. Hope for me?

"Is that a smile I see on our daughter?" Dad asks Mom as though I couldn't hear him.

"Yes I believe it is" she answers him back.

"I bet I can make that smile even bigger" Dad says, and I know I am in for it. Before I can get away he is tickling me under my ribs. I am deathly ticklish, so the laughter that leaves my mouth cannot be helped. He continues his relentless tickling and I laugh so hard to the point where there are tears in my eyes. Mom and Dad are laughing too. I'm grateful that for just a few minutes I can forget about this horrible experience that is Rachel Wilson.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Phoebe and I arrive at the salon and are greeted by Julio Desantis, the gentleman that will be cutting her hair. I had requested him since he has a fantastic following, not to mention he is gay so I know he won't try to pick up my daughter. He takes Phoebe's hand into both of his and plants a kiss, causing Phoebe to blush.

"Pleasure to meet the lovely young Princess Phoebe Grey. Come, we will make you even more fabulous."

"I'll wait right here, Peanut" I tell her before I find a seat in the waiting area. I pull out my blackberry and access my email in hopes that there is news on the search for Miss Wilson. If I felt comfortable leaving Phoebe's side I would go out there and look for her myself, but I need to stay close to Phoebe in order to ensure her safety and stability. I cannot believe she was apologizing for freaking out over a nightmare. I am all too aware of how frightening nightmares can be, so I completely understood her reaction to it. I have Ana to comfort me anytime I have one, and Phoebe needs to know that she has the both of us.

I frown when I see that they haven't found Miss Wilson. Why the fuck is it so difficult to find one person? Where could she be? There has to be somebody helping her.

I turn my attention to another email from Welch. He wants me to watch an interview that was televised last evening with Kelly Larson, the girl that helped Miss Wilson bully my daughter and access school records. I send a text to Randall to bring my iPad to me. Randall had driven us into town and has been waiting in the car. Less than five minutes later he is in front of me with my iPad case. "That will be all, Randall." He retreats back to the car while I fire up my iPad and use the link that Welch had sent me. I use my ear buds to listen to the interview. Once in a while I glance up to make sure Phoebe is okay. She and Julio are deep in conversation and she seems to be enjoying herself. Good. She doesn't need to be thinking about this shit. I listen to the interview and begin to understand why Welch wanted me to see this. Miss Larson seems to be playing the shocked ex-best friend card. Oh sure, she's shocked that Miss Wilson did this. But she doesn't seem believable. It is a bit overplayed if you ask me. As I continue to watch her facial expressions and over exaggerated commentary, it is becoming more and more obvious that she knows more about this than she is letting on. I'd bet my next business venture that she knows exactly where Miss Wilson is hiding.

I stand and turn around to make a call so that Phoebe and the clientele don't hear my conversation. I thank Welch for sending me the link and order him to look into Miss Larson's activities for the past couple days. As I've suspected, he's already done that and has some information that could help locate Miss Wilson. This seems positive. I make another call to Taylor and fill him in. Even though Taylor and Gail have weekends away from our house and our problems, he'd insisted on being filled in on anything that has to do with this case. He cuts the conversation short and tells me that he is on it. He hangs up on me. Taylor never hangs up on me. I pull my blackberry away from my ear and just look at it, stunned. Normally I'd be fucking pissed at him or anyone hanging up on me. But I'm not, because I know that he is true to his word and that he is on it.

"Dad" I hear my daughter's voice behind me. I turn around and she is standing before me with a relaxed smile on her face. Her hair is still long but very healthy looking. It is obvious that she's had a few inches taken off and Julio has also cleaned up her bangs that are pushed to the side and shaping her face.

"You look beautiful, Sweetheart" I say to her and can't help the smile that grows on my face. Obviously bringing her out for a haircut was a great idea, anything to get her mind off the shooting and Miss Wilson. I decide that I should let my men handle the search while I take care of my family.

Julio walks over from behind her and I shake his hand. "Thank you, Desantis"

"A pleasure, Mr Grey, Mademoiselle" he kisses Phoebe's hand again. Phoebe's smile hasn't left her face.

"Thank you Julio" she says to him before he walks away. She looks back at me as if looking for my approval. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, Julio did a great job." I put my iPad away in the carrying case and bring it over my shoulder. "The day is young. Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?" She hesitates for a moment. That can only mean one thing. She's afraid I'm going to say no. "Phoebe, tell me" I say impatiently.

She bites her lip, another thing she gets from her mother. "Can we visit Sawyer?"

My face falls, and her eyes drop and focus on the ground. I'd rather not take her to see Sawyer. It's probably too soon for that. I know she feels guilty for him taking a bullet for her. On some level I also feel guilty. While it is his job to protect my daughter, my family has become very close with Sawyer. The same goes for Taylor and Gail.

"Please Dad, he saved me. I wanna see him."

I can't say no to her. I want to, but I can't. I nod and reach my hand out for her shoulder, guiding her to walk out of the salon with me. Randall is waiting outside with the car so we don't have to walk too far. I open the back door and Phoebe sullenly climbs in since I haven't answered her yet. I climb in the back with her and pull the door shut.

"Randall, take us to the hospital" I order. Phoebe's head pops up from her sulking and I meet her gaze. I take her hand in mine and smile at her. "Are you sure you'll be okay with seeing him?"

She has to think about it for a moment, and then she nods. "Yes. I need to do this."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

When we arrive at the hospital, we are directed to the ninth floor which is the ICU. I'm not an adult, so they probably won't let me see Sawyer. I start to sulk at the thought. I really want to see Sawyer. I need to. I just feel so guilty that he is in this situation, because of me. Now that I think about it, maybe he doesn't want to see me. I didn't even think of that. What if seeing me just brings back bad memories for him of being shot? I can't do that to him. Dad starts to walk toward the elevator and I pull on his sleeve to stop him. He looks down at me confused.

"What is it, Peanut?"

"Um, maybe this isn't such a good idea. What if they don't let me see him?"

Dad turns his body and leans down so that only I can hear him. "It's all taken care of. I sent a text to Brooke from the car and she got permission from his doctor."

"Really?"

"Yes. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I think it over for a moment. Am I sure? Dad sees my reluctance and he leads me over to a nearby bench. We sit and he puts his hand on my back.

"Phoebe, they don't allow children in the ICU for several reasons. One of the reasons being it's not exactly a cheery place to be. And it can be a bit scary. You need to know that when you see Sawyer, he's doing okay, but he's hooked up to machines with many wires." I nod to let him know that I understand. I've been in the ICU myself, and I've spent enough time with Danny in his ICU room. He's always hooked up to an IV, but not countless machines. I've never had to see anyone like that. I'm sure it's dreadful. "So I'm going to ask you again, are you sure you want to do this?"

I think it over for a moment, and then I nod. I really want to do this. I owe Sawyer my life, so I can certainly put aside my fears and pay him a visit. Dad and I stand and walk to the elevators, his hand still on my back.

When we arrive at Sawyer's room, Brooke stands from the chair she's been occupying from the side of his bed and walks over to us. She envelopes me in a hug and I return it. I start to feel even more guilty. Why is she hugging me? I'm the reason her boyfriend got shot. I don't think I could ever be so gracious. She pulls out of the hug and looks at me.

"How are you doing?"

I nod. "I'm doing okay" I tell her. I don't know what else to say. I look behind her and see Sawyer in the bed. The tears start to come ferociously and I can't stop them. Seeing him like this just kills me. "Come here, Sweetheart" he says to me as he lifts his arms. I slowly walk toward his bed as I take in the sight of the wires and machines around him. This is just too much to take. "It's okay, come here" he says to me gently. I do what he says. I sit on the bed and allow him to hug me. I'm nervous about hugging him back because I don't want to hurt him. "It's okay, I'm okay, I promise" he says to me. And I can't help it. I start to cry into his shoulder. He comforts me by rubbing my back and shushing me. "Shhh, Sweetheart, it's okay." He continues to comfort me and then I feel Dad behind me. He sits on the bed behind me and puts his hands on the sides of my waist to pull me away from Sawyer. I reach my hand up to dry my tears. I hate crying. Brooke puts the box of tissues in front of me and I take a few to dry my tears and blow my nose.

"I know this looks bad" Sawyer says. His voice is a bit hoarse but I don't care. He's alive and he's talking to me. "It's not as bad as it looks, I promise."

"How can you say that?" I ask him. There are so many wires and machines going that could make your head spin.

"Because it's true" he says to me with a smile. How can he smile at me in a time like this? Unless he's just doing this to placate me. I'm starting to get really tired of people doing that. "The doctor was here a little bit ago. I came here in critical condition, yesterday I was upgraded to serious condition, and now I've been upgraded to stable condition. In a few hours they're going to be moving me out of ICU and into a regular hospital room."

"Really?" I ask him.

"Yes, really. How are you doing? Are you okay?" he asks me as he takes my hand.

_What?_ "Me, you're asking about how I'm doing? Sawyer, you were shot!"

"I know, I was there, remember?"

"Don't joke around with me" I admonish him, and he just laughs at me. "What, what's so funny?"

"You remind me so much of your mother" he says. "In a good way, I promise." I hear Dad laugh as well. I start to get angry. They are making fun of me. "Hey, what's with the scowl? You should take it as a compliment. Your mother is truly one of a kind and one of the most exquisite and most fascinating women I know."

"Careful, that's _my_ wife you are talking about" Dad says with a hint of jealousy. I look at Brooke and she raises and eyebrow at Sawyer.

"I did say 'one' of the most" he says to her. He takes her hand and plants a kiss on the back of it, earning himself a smile from his girl. Things start to calm down in the room as we have light conversation. We then start to talk about his recovery. I hate that he has to stay in the hospital for a week and then he'll need to have physical therapy. He won't be able to work for us for quite some time. I start to pout, but Sawyer tells me to keep my chin up. "Hey, I'll be back before you know it."

An hour into our visit, the doctor comes in and tells us that we need to leave. They are going to move Sawyer into a regular hospital room. We say goodbye to Sawyer and he insists on giving me another hug. I cannot believe he has no ill feelings toward me. It's my fault that he's in this situation. I start to feel a little better after our visit. I'm so glad that Sawyer is going to be okay. He's my bodyguard but I really do love him. I've known him all my life and I cannot picture my life without him in it. Dad puts his arm around me and we walk out of the room together. Brooke kisses her man goodbye and she joins us.

"Phoebe, before you go, I was hoping you could pay Danny a visit."

I instantly start to worry. I was supposed to volunteer on Thursday, but I myself was a patient instead. "Is he okay? Did something happen?"

Brooke smiles at me. "Yes, he's doing just fine. But he heard about what happened at the school and he's really worried about you. We told him that you'd be back for your regular volunteering hours, but I think a quick visit from you today would go a long way."

I nod and look away from her. Danny is an eight year old kid, and he's worried about me? How did he even hear about this? Dad walks with me to the other side of the ICU where Danny's room is. I stand in the doorway and see that his mother is with him. Danny is sitting on his bed and he's coloring. I step into the room to make my presence known and I'm met with his big blue eyes. "Phoebe" he says excitedly. His mother smiles and seems happy to see me too. I walk over to the bed and take him into a hug. He squeezes me tight. "Hey Champ" I say to him with tears in my eyes. That is my nickname for him, because he truly is a champion. I'm so glad to see him, and I'm just so moved by his concern for me. I pull out of the hug and sit on the bed with him.

"I made this for you" he says to me and shows me a drawing. "That's you and that's me." He drew two figures holding hands. The taller figure is a woman with long brown hair and pink lipstick. The smaller figure is a boy with a navy blue baseball cap. He's a Seattle Mariners fan.

"I love this. I'm going to hang this on my wall." This little boy's heart is as big as they come. It kills me that he is stuck here in this dreadful hospital room fighting this illness. I am reminded of why I've decided to volunteer, and possibly study medicine. I want to do anything I can to help patients like Danny. "Thank you" I say and smile brightly at him.

His blue eyes meet mine and I can see how proud of himself he is. His smile then fades as he asks me a question. "Were you scared?"

He is referring to the school shooting. I have to think about how I am going to talk to him about this. I'm not prepared to deal with what happened, but I need to put that aside for now, for Danny.

"Danny, Honey, now's not the time" his mother says.

"No, that's okay." I look back at Danny and muster all the courage I have to get through this. "Yes, Danny, I was scared. I've never been anywhere near a gun, and hearing gunshots around me was really scary."

"What did you do?"

"Well, my boyfriend Trevor, he was there with me, we ran and hid from the person that had the gun."

"The newspaper said that some people got hurt and some people died. I'm glad you didn't die. That would have made me really sad."

I put my arm around Danny and hug him. With everything that he facing right now, he was worrying about me. This kid is amazing.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

While Phoebe is visiting with Danny, I decide to check in with my men to find out what is happening with the search for Miss Wilson. I am pleasantly surprised when I hear that they have located her and have contacted the authorities.

"Where was she?" I ask Markson. He has been leading my men in the search for the past several hours.

"Your theory was correct, sir. Miss Larson seems to be involved. Her grandparents had passed a few years ago and their boat hasn't been in use. We were able to locate the boat and found Miss Wilson hiding inside." I nod and listen as he continues. "She won't get away, Sir. We have the boat surrounded and authorities are just arriving now."

"Very good. Keep me posted."

I tuck my blackberry away and see Phoebe walk out of Danny's room. She sees me and walks toward me. "Did something happen?" she asks me. She immediately thinks the worst. I smile at her, hoping it calms her fears.

"It's good news, Peanut. My men have found Miss Wilson." I watch as my daughter's expression changes from fearful to relieved. "Authorities are closing in on her right now."

Phoebe gasps with relief and throws her arms around my waist. I return the hug, feeling fucking relieved myself. Rachel Wilson is being captured by authorities as we speak, and that is one step toward my daughter moving on from this horrific nightmare.

* * *

_**I **__**don't usually do this, but I've removed an anonymous review that read "Pretty sure this story is a copy of another one". I appreciate hearing what you all think of my story, the negative and the positive, but if you are going to accuse me of plagiarism, at least have the guts to log in and not be anonymous about it. I can assure you that I am not using another author's story. That's just wrong to post something like that without having the facts to back up your theory. Chapter 1 disclaims that these characters do not belong to me, they belong to E.L. James. The dialogue and story continuation are from me. If you feel that I am copying this story, please show me where you have read this and I'll be happy to look into it. For the other 99% of you, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and for being patient since it takes me some time to update. I have many more ideas for this story, and I will keep writing no matter how long it takes me. Happy Reading!**_


	36. Fifty Birthday Dinner

Christian's POV

It's been nine days since the school shooting, but the media attention is just as intrusive as it was the day it happened. Reporters have been trying to get to Phoebe and Ava for interviews, and I'll be fucking damned if I let that happen. My father the DA had released another statement to the media asking to give our family space and privacy, but they still will not let up. We were hoping they would get a life and move on to another fucking story, but unfortunately a school shooting at a prestigious private school in Seattle is just too big a story to let die.

Kate had approached Ana and me to see if we wanted to make a statement on the Today show, but I refused. It's one thing to have my business plastered all over the news and tabloids, but my kids don't need to be any part of that. Phoebe and Ava's horrific experience and recovery is none of their fucking business.

I sit up in bed with my legs over the side and run my hands through my hair at the thought of my daughter and niece having to deal with the media. We've kept Phoebe home all week after I took her out for the day last Saturday because the media figured out that she was one of several of Miss Wilson's intended targets. They started following us home from the hospital last week, calling Phoebe's name and snapping away with their cameras. That only adds to Phoebe's stress right now. She's still having nightmares. Even with the news of Miss Wilson's arrest, Phoebe still cannot be left alone even for a minute. We've had Ava spend a few nights here with her. We've even had Trevor spend a few nights. Yes, I Christian Grey allowed a teenage boy to sleep with my teenage daughter in her bed. I shake my head and snort at the thought. That is so not like me. But right now, that is what is best for my daughter. My team had to be very slick about how they got Ava and Trevor here. Since Ava's been followed by the media, she's only left Escala to come here. We made sure to get her here in a car that the media wouldn't recognize as ours. We would have them follow a decoy, and then Ava would be in a car that would leave the garage a few minutes later.

I turn around to see my beautiful wife sleeping soundly. Today is her birthday. Normally we would make a reservation at a restaurant for our extended family to celebrate the adult birthdays, but in light of what's happened we've decided to have Ana's birthday dinner catered at our home. Security will be able to monitor the cars that come through our gate, and we wouldn't have to worry about the media breathing down are necks while we celebrate. This will be our life until the media attention calms down and focuses on something else.

Ana starts to stir. I lie down next to her and plant soft kisses on her temple. I trace more kisses down her face and she lets out a delightful moan. A smile spreads on her face before she opens her eyes and looks into mine. "Happy Birthday, my beautiful Anastasia" I say to her softly before I plant a kiss on the tip of her nose. I will never tire of having this woman wake up next to me in our bed. How did I ever get this lucky?

"Oh no, is it really my birthday?" She covers her eyes and whines. I wrap my fingers around her wrist and pull her hand away from her eyes. I then plant a kiss on the back of her hand.

"Don't hide from me. I meant what I said. You are so beautiful, especially in the morning." I continue to plant kisses on her hand.

"Only you can say that. I'm sure I look hideous." She starts to get out of bed, but I stop her and pull her back down. I reposition myself so that my body is partially on top of hers.

"You Are My Beautiful Wife" I say each word with emphasis. "And nobody else can say that because I would claw their eyes out for even looking at you." I am awarded with her delightful giggle. "You know I love that sound." I crash my lips into hers, and she kisses me back. Our tongues start to waltz as I slowly brush my hand up her leg and lift her nightgown. "How 'bout we start the day with a little vanilla?"

She smiles at me, her smile that exposes nearly all of her pearly whites. Her unspoken answer to my sensual request.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I wake up with Ava asleep next to me. I feel like such a nuisance lately, having my family around me constantly, having to have someone with me at night, not being able to leave the house. I can't go to my dance classes and I can't volunteer at the hospital. When I saw Danny last week I told him I would be back. I feel awful for not being there for him. I talked to Brooke and asked her to explain why I couldn't be there. I am basically trapped in this house as long as the media and paparazzi are hovering outside our gate. No way are they taking a picture of me. There's really no point. My father is rich, not me. Yes, I was in the school during the shooting and I was someone that Rachel wanted to shoot. So what? Why can't they just leave me alone?

I sit up in bed and wait for Ava to wake. She does and throws a pillow over her face to block the sunlight. I pull it away from her and bring it down on her backside. We both laugh and she turns to face me. "Did you sleep okay?" she asks me.

I shrug my shoulders. "I guess, I don't remember having any nightmares." She nods and lowers her eyes to the sheets. "Thanks for staying here Ava. I'm sorry for being such a baby about all of this."

"Stop it" she says as she brings the pillow down on me this time. "Besides, you're not the only one having nightmares."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "You too?"

She nods and then raises her index finger at me. "Don't you dare tell anyone, Grey."

I nod and giggle. "Your secret's safe with me. But, why keep it in the dark? My parents knew about my nightmares the first night and they've been so cool about it. They even let Trevor stay here with me a few times."

"That's because you're not having sex."

Ava's comment burns me, but I try to hide it. I don't think she means to upset me. I think a distraction is in order. I climb off the bed, hoping that will inspire her to get up as well. "How 'bout we see if anyone is up for breakfast?"

She sleepily groans. "It's too early. Why the hell does your family get up at the crack of dawn?"

I shrug my shoulders. "We just do. You're cranky." I pick up my hairbrush and run it through my hair a few times.

"A normal response to waking up at nine o'clock on a Saturday morning. Tell me again why I agreed to do this?"

"Because you are tired of being trapped at Escala with your parents and a teething baby brother" I answer her before I run the brush through my hair a few more times.

"Oh yeah, that's right. Was it like that with Natalie?"

I stop and think about it for a moment. Natalie was a pleasant baby for the most part, even while she was teething. But her molars? They were another story. "I remember her molars being pretty painful. Dad had to stay up with her a few nights. But her other teeth didn't seem to give her a problem."

I place my hairbrush down on the vanity and retreat to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. As soon as I'm finished, Ava makes her way into my bathroom with her crutches. She'll have to use them for a while until her leg heals.

"About time you bum" I tease her, and I'm awarded with a shove. She pushes me out of the way and starts to brush her teeth.

After she rinses she finds a washcloth for her face. "What are we doing for your Mom's birthday?"

"Dad said something about having it here, and catered."

"We'll need something to wear" she points out.

I nod in agreement. When Ava and I were little, we used to share clothes just because we found it to be fun. We certainly had plenty of clothes, but we wanted to borrower each other's dresses, shoes and jewelry. That all changed when we were twelve. Ava started developing her own sense of style which involved wearing clothes that were very different from what I was used to wearing. She always looked gorgeous. Her boobs developed way before mine did, and still she felt the need to stuff her bra. I didn't need a bra until I was fourteen. She also started wearing makeup at school but took it off before Aunt Kate or Uncle Elliot could see. I could never pull off most of the things that she wears, so of course I'm not about to offer something from my closet. So I am completely shocked when she makes the suggestion.

"Maybe I can borrow something of yours." I'm not really sure what to say to that, so I just stand in the middle of my room with my jaw dropped. She limps back into my room with her crutches and catches my shocked expression. "What gives? You don't want to share?"

"No, that's not it. I'm just surprised that you want to."

She limps past me and into my closet. "We used to borrow each other's clothes all the time" she says as she brushes her hands through the material of one of my dresses. "Don't ever tell anyone I said this, but I kind of miss those days. You and me being little kids and just doing fun and stupid things, not a care in the world."

I nod and smile as I approach my closet. "Yeah, I miss that too. We couldn't wait to grow up, but little did we know things were so much easier when we were younger."

Ava pulls out one of the dresses and observes it. "I like this one" she says and then holds it up to show me. "What do you think?" It is an orange sundress that ties at the waist and falls just below the knee. It has waves of dark, medium and light orange, not just one solid color. I think it will look great on Ava. But then again, who am I to judge? I'm not into fashion like she is. "Phoebe, come on what do you think of this dress?"

"I think it will look great on you. I guess I'm just surprised that you want to borrower one of my dresses."

She swiftly brings the top of the dress down over her arm and glares at me. "Oh, come on Phoebe. Don't put yourself down. I know we have different styles, but that doesn't mean you _don't_ have style. This dress it is." I nod in agreement. "Now then, let's find something for you."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I'm forty three. How can that be? I feel like thirty three wasn't even that long ago. Of course it was, because Teddy was ten and Phoebe was seven. Those were the days of homemade birthday cards, picked flowers from the garden and "pamper Mommy for a day" or "best behavior for a day" passes. I can't believe my babies are not babies anymore. I miss the younger versions of my two eldest. I look down and rub my growing baby bump. I still have a toddler, and two more babies will be here before I know it. I have an amazing husband and the best family and friends a girl could ask for. I don't think it gets much better than this. I just wish I didn't have to turn forty three. That seems so old to me.

Christian has ordered me to stay in bed while he tends to Natalie and sees that the girls get started on breakfast. I know that means he will be bringing me breakfast in bed. My husband is so sweet and thoughtful. He often does these things even when it isn't my birthday. I finish my business in our bathroom and make my way over to our huge unmade bed. As soon as I sit down, I see my husband carrying our adorable baby girl. She is still in her pajamas, which is the usual for Saturday mornings. She has the biggest smile on her face, and her father has one to match. He carries her over and puts her down on our bed so that she can crawl over to me. Before I can take her in my arms she shows me a card she had made out of construction paper. "Happy Budday Mommy" she says to me in her cute adorable voice. Christian sits on the bed behind her and watches me. I reach up and dry a tear that has escaped as I look at the card. There are a few scribbles that she had made with red and purple crayons. The card itself is pink, and there is a purple handprint painted on the inside.

"Is this your handprint?" I ask her animatedly. She nods her head excitedly and then throws her arms around me. I return the hug and twist side to side for effect. "I love this. Thank you Baby."

"You welcome, Mommy" she says as she pulls away and is pulled into Christian's lap. He kisses the top of her head. I know he helped her with this and it is just too sweet. "Can we have cake?" she asks, and Christian and I can't help but laugh. She already associates birthdays with cake.

"We're going to have cake later tonight, Baby. After we have dinner" Christian explains to her. "Right now, we need to go and get Phoebe and Ava and make some breakfast, while Mommy relaxes."

"You welax Mommy" she says to me. I reach over and pinch her nose between my middle and index fingers and she giggles. Christian picks her up and repeats his order that I stay in bed and relax. I'm not going to argue with that. I watch them leave the room, which is lit up again with the delightful sounds of my daughter's giggles. Christian is tickling her side while he's carrying her. After they leave, I get comfortable and take in a manuscript that I've started reading yesterday. I have a few that I hope to read before I return to the office.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

My plan for today is going smoothly so far. We are a few hours away from our guests arriving. The caterers have just arrived and are starting to set everything up. I settled Natalie down for her nap just under an hour ago. Phoebe and Ava are spending time in the backyard. And Ana and I are relaxing in our main room. We have just finished skyping with Teddy. He couldn't fly home for the weekend because he wanted to be there for Rebecca's physical therapy. He said that it is going very well and he is optimistic about the pace they have her progressing at, although Rebecca is very impatient. She wants to run before she can walk. Good thing she has my son there to keep her from hurting herself. He said he and Rebecca would make plans to be home for Phoebe's birthday weekend next month.

At my insistence Ana has her feet up and resting on a pillow on the coffee table, and I am sitting on the coffee table, facing her and massaging them. I so love pampering my wife, and the soft moans coming from her are making me hard. I must contain it though. Ana and I will have our fun later tonight after the guests leave.

"Thank you, Baby" she says to me softly.

I bring her foot up and kiss her big toe. "It's my pleasure. Are you relaxed?" She smiles and nods. "Good. This is how I always want you. Relaxed and happy."

"I'm always happy with you" she says as she sits up. She moves so that her face is closer to mine. "And you know just how to get me relaxed." She leans forward and crashes her lips into mine. She tastes so good, like peaches. That gives me an idea. We pull apart and I tell her to stay put. She obeys, which pleases the hell out of me. When I return I have a bowl of fresh fruit, and I am met with her gorgeous relaxed smile. I sit on the coffee table again and begin to feed the fruit to her. She licks the juice off of my fingers after each piece. She repeats the gesture and feeds a few pieces to me. I must say, fruit has never tasted so good. She could feed dirt to me and make it sexy as hell.

I feed the last piece to her and she grabs my wrist to lick the juice from my fingers. "Good?" I ask her.

"Delicious, and so erotic" she says before she licks off some more of the juice. "You sure we can't take this upstairs now?"

I smile at her and shake my head. "Eager, are we?"

"Very"

I'm having a hard time waiting myself, but the longer we wait the more pleasurable it will be. "You, my beautiful wife, are just going to have to wait. We'll go upstairs to get ready for our guests, we'll greet them, have dinner, some music and dancing, you'll open your presents, and then later tonight I'll get to open my favorite present when I peal you out of your party dress." I plant two kisses on her forehead, and I know she is pouting. I place my fingers under her chin and lift her face. "Don't pout, it will be worth it, I promise."

"And until then, you are just going to torture me with your sexpertise and drive me crazy."

"Who, me?" I ask her playfully. She softly punches my chest and I feign pain. "Ow, Mrs Grey I don't think punching me is a good way to proposition me."

"Is your palm twitching?"

I smile at her, but at the same time I try to contain my excitement. "Maybe"

She rolls her eyes at me, and she does it oh so dramatically. "How about now?"

"You are so in for it Mrs Grey" I say to her softly as I lean in closer to her face. I kiss her for a moment and then pull away. "After the party that is."

She sighs in defeat as I stand from the coffee table, fruit bowel in hand. "I'm going to check on the girls and then Natalie. Don't do anything naughty until I get back."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

Christian is driving me crazy with his clever antics and sexpertise, and he knows it. He's doing it on purpose, strategically kissing me and then almost kissing my neck in just the right spot, touching me and trailing his hands down my body before letting me go, whispering sexy innuendos to me and then walking away, leaving me blushing as I greet our guests. I am so happy when I see my mother. She and Scott flew in this morning so that they could be here for the party. I wish Carla would visit more often, but she's been busy with Scott's band. She helps them with scheduling gigs and traveling plans. I had to tell her about my pregnancy on skype, and then about the twins on skype. She is excited to be a grandmother to more grandbabies and promises that she'll visit more often. I don't hold her to that, but I secretly hope to have my mother around more often.

Kate and Elliot arrive with Cameron. He looks so handsome in his little suit. I'm touched that everyone got so dressed up to attend my birthday dinner. My husband prefers the formal attire, but if it were up to me we would all be in sweats. Elliot is also wearing a suit, and Kate looks gorgeous in her dark green dress that is sleeveless and falls just below her knees. Kate greets me with a hug and Elliot gives me a peck on the cheek. I take Cameron from her and hold him for a few minutes. He is just too cute. He calls me Anana, which is pretty darn close to Aunt Ana. He reaches his head up and puckers his lips to give me a kiss, so I lower my cheek to him. It is a wet kiss, but it is the cutest thing. Elliot takes Cameron from me and they proceed to greet the other guests. Carrick and Grace are right behind them and they both envelope me in a hug. They tell me that Ethan and Mia are running a little late, which is just fine. I'm not one to get too stressed over that. That's the best part of having our dinner at home. We can relax and be on our own time.

Collins and Dovis are here with their wives, and Sawyer brought Brooke and their son Lucas. Taylor and Gail are also here as guests. Christian had insisted, since he has plenty of people on his security team to cover the weekends. Our birthday dinners usually only involve our extended family, but Christian had extended the invitation to a few of our long time security members since we are having the party at home. That makes me so happy, since I've always insisted that the Taylors, Sawyer, Dovis and Collins feel like part of our family.

Trevor and Nathan arrive together and they are also wearing suits. They appear nervous as they are lead into the room. They smile shyly at me and kiss my cheek before wishing me a happy birthday. I look around for the girls but I don't see them. They are likely still up in Phoebe's room getting ready. I see my husband and I motion for him to come over. He excuses himself from a conversation he is having with Carrick and makes his way over to me. He kisses my head and snakes his arm around my waist. "Hi beautiful wife" he says to me before nuzzling my nose with his.

"Hi husband. Have you seen the girls?"

Christian looks away from me and sees Trevor and Nathan. He greets each of them with a handshake while his arm is still around me and they thank him for inviting them. "I'll go and find them." He kisses me again and takes off to look for the girls.

Grace brings Natalie over to me. She looks upset. I squat down to be at her level. "What's wrong Baby girl?"

"Mommy, I faught Sophie was comen"

I gently brush my hand through her hair and smile at her. "She'll be here soon, baby. Aunt Mia is just running a little late."

"Pwomise?"

"Yes, I promise. You look really beautiful" I tell her to distract her. Of course she does look beautiful. She is wearing a light pink sundress and white sandals with pink flowers. She wouldn't let me put anything in her hair, but she is wearing a few bracelets. "Do you like getting dressed up?"

"Yes Mommy, I wook pwetty. And you wook pwetty too."

"Thank you, Baby." My daughter talks a lot, but she still cannot get her "L"s or "R"s. I don't mind though. I just like hearing her talk.

"Sing song Mommy?"

"Mmmm how 'bout we sing later, at bedtime. Okay Sweetheart?"

"Okaaaaayy" she says, dragging out the word. I love singing with my baby girl, but not with a room full of people. I stand and see Ethan and Mia make their way over with their kids. Mia, of course looks gorgeous, but she also looks exhausted. All three of their kids had soccer practice today. I think Elizabeth even had a game. She looks tired too. Christopher doesn't look tired. He looks wide awake and mischievous. I have no doubt he'll get into some kind of trouble while he's here. Ethan always has to yell at him about something. I feel bad when he gets yelled at. He is so adorable. He is the first to greet me and wish me a happy birthday. I pick him up and give him a hug. Christian walks over just in time to admonish me. My fifty is always worried about me.

"Should you be doing that?" he asks me. Picking up Natalie is one thing, but Christopher is a few years older and a bit heavier. I only hold him for a few seconds before I put him down. He goes to Christian to slap his hand, but Christian teases him by pulling it away. He holds his hand out again for him, and Christopher makes another attempt to slap it, but Christian pulls it away again.

"Heyyy" Christopher says as he giggles. This goes on a few more times before Christian picks him up and tickles his side. He finally allows him to high five him, and Christopher slaps his hand as hard as he can. Mia makes her way over to me and gives me a hug, followed by Elizabeth. They both extend birthday wishes. Ethan is carrying Sophie. He puts her down next to Natalie so that they can hug. Our girls are so cute. I am so happy that they get along so well at their age. They actually ask for each other and look forward to spending time together. Ethan greets me with a peck on the cheek and then quickly excuses himself, having to already follow Christopher around since he had started running the moment Christian put him down. I look over to see that he was running toward Grace and Carrick for hugs and kisses. Mia and I giggle as we observe Ethan trying to control their over excited yet lovable son. He took off running because he saw his grandparents.

I look down and see that Natalie and Sophie are sitting on the floor. Probably not a good idea with this many adults walking around. Christian squats down and lifts them both into his arms, carrying them into the main room where we keep Natalie's toys. We had moved some of the toys out of the room just for the party, but we kept the castle and princess dolls so that the girls would be entertained. They both immediately start playing together. Christian wraps his arms around me and kisses my hair. "Let's sit down, Mrs Grey." He leads me over to the sofa and I sit with Carla and Scott. Carrick, Grace, Kate, Mia and Elizabeth are also seated on the sofa and love seat. Elliot and Christian stand and Elliot hands him a beer. Phoebe and Ava both appear with Trevor and Nathan. Poor Ava is on crutches, but she and Phoebe look absolutely beautiful. Christian reaches for Phoebe and kisses her temple. Elliot wraps an arm around Ava's shoulder and kisses her head. Their boyfriends then lead them over to some chairs that we have set up along the wall, which is where Sawyer, Collins and Dovis are hanging out with their girls. Lucas and Christopher are on the other side of the room. Lucas has been able to get Christopher to settle down into a board game. Let's see how long that lasts.

I talk to Carla and Scott about the kids and my plans to retire. While I talk to them I look over at my husband, and his eyes find mine. I am so happy in this moment with our family surrounding us in our home. I smile at him, and he smiles and winks at me.


	37. Fifty Financials

Christian's POV

Dinner was absolutely delicious. We had quite the selection, and Ana and I made sure to sample each and every dish that was served by our caterers. We also had a good time sharing our plate and feeding each other. I didn't care that we were surrounded by family. We kept it clean, and only did it with the last few bites of food. I am pleased that my girls finished a good amount of their dinner. I made sure to have the caterers brings some of the things that they like.

I can't get over Ethan's reaction to us not having a kid's table. I know that is the ideal set up for a family party. The adults would all sit together, and the kids would sit at a smaller table. I prefer to have my kids at the same table as Ana and me. That way we can help them and monitor how much they eat. I also like the company of my kids. There is no reason they should be made to sit at a separate table simply because they are children. We had two very long tables set up in our spacious dining room so that we could all sit facing each other in a big square, and then another long table for the food and dessert. Since we are full from dinner, we've decided to take a break and have dessert later.

Right now I am upstairs in Natalie's bedroom changing her. My poor girl had to have Elizabeth track me down because she couldn't find me after dinner. Sophie is up here too just looking around Natalie's room. It makes me so happy that my daughter and niece get along so well, just as Phoebe and Ava have at their age. They always had to be together anytime we had family events. They always looked out for each other, and I hope that Natalie and Sophie will be that close. After I finish with Natalie, I ask Sophie if she needs to be changed, but she shakes her head. I don't believe her of course, but I will let Mia and Ethan deal with that.

"Daddy, my foot hoots" Natalie says with a pout after she sits up. I sit on the bed and gently place my fingers on her right foot.

"This one?" She nods and leans back on her hands as I remove her sandal. The strap had left a red mark on the side of her foot. "How 'bout we take your sandals off and put on your slippers?"

"Can I still weaw the dwess?"

"Of course Sweet Pea." I go into her closet and bring back her pink fuzzy slippers. She smiles and allows me to put them on her feet. I look at Sophie and she is watching us. "Can Sophie borrower a pair of your slippers?"

"No"

"No? Why not?"

"Because, they'we mine."

"I know they're yours. But do you remember what Mommy and I said about sharing?" I ask her calmly.

"I don't want to."

"Natalie" I say a bit more sternly. "The last time you didn't share with Sophie, I put you to bed early. Do you want to be put to bed early?"

She shakes her head. "No"

"Okay. If you are a good girl and share with Sophie, you can stay up and go back to the party. So can Sophie borrower your slippers?"

Natalie thinks it over for a moment before she answers me. "Okaayyyy"

I smile and kiss her forehead before I walk back into her closet for another pair of slippers. I come back and squat down in front of Sophie. "Sophie, Natalie's going to share her slippers with you. Would you like to wear them?" She looks at them and then nods. I lift her and sit her on the bed next to Natalie so that I could put them on her feet. Before I can do that, Ethan walks in and insists on changing her. She gets upset and tries to avoid him, but he catches her and picks her up. Mia said she doesn't like to be changed, but I had no idea it was this bad. She is screaming at the moment and kicking her legs while still in Ethan's arms, so I excuse myself and take Natalie out of the room.

"Daddy, why…..why is Sophie cwying?"

I sigh and start walking toward my bedroom. "Well…" Christ, how do I answer this? I can't tell her that Sophie doesn't like to be changed. We certainly don't need Natalie picking up on that habit. "Um, she's sad about something Baby. But she'll be okay." I open my bedroom door and switch on the light.

"Daddy?"

"We're going to bring slippers down for Mommy. Do you want to pick them out?"

She nods. I put her down and guide her into the closet and over to where Ana keeps her slippers. Natalie picks up the light pink ballet flats and stands up. "These ones Daddy."

I smile at her and pick her up again. "These ones it is" I say to her before I kiss her cheek.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I am relaxing in the main room on our sofa with Mia and Kate. Kate has managed to settle Cameron and he is drinking milk from a bottle. His head is on a pillow in Kate's lap and she is gently stroking his hair. I'm sure he will fall asleep any minute now. Elizabeth has gone to join Lucas and Christopher in a game, and Sawyer and Brooke are keeping an eye on them. I don't want to say anything out loud and jinx it, but Christopher has behaved so well tonight. I'm sure that makes Mia happy. Every once in a while she looks over in his direction.

"I can't believe he's being so good" she says quietly. "We ought to invite Lucas to all of our parties." Kate and I laugh, although Mia may be onto something. Christopher is a very active and energetic child, and Lucas seems to be someone that can keep him distracted for more than five minutes.

Elliot comes over takes a seat next to Kate with a now sleeping Cameron in her lap. "Hey ladies. Where are all the men?" He is referring to our husbands.

"We sent them upstairs to change the girls" Mia answers him proudly. Elliot nods and chuckles at the same time. "Is that right?"

"I think it's great that the guys aren't afraid of dirty diapers, even though my brother had to be _told_ to go up and change Sophie" Kate comments with a stab at her brother and her husband.

"Hey, I've changed diapers too. Maybe….. not as many as you….."

"Oh yeah, when's the last time you changed you son's diaper?"

"This morning" he answers defensively.

Kate snorts. "That doesn't count. You told me he woke up dry."

"I didn't know that before I was changing him."

Kate rolls her eyes and Mia and I just laugh.

"Has Natalie started toilet training?" Mia asks me.

"Not yet. Christian and I agreed to start after her third birthday. How about Sophie?"

Mia scrunches her nose and tilts her hand back and forth. "Yes and no. She sees what Christopher does and wants to mimic him. Ethan and I had to explain to her that she can't stand and pee and she doesn't like that." I can't help but giggle. Sophie wants to do everything Christopher does, and she can be stubborn when she doesn't get her way. "A few months ago she started hiding from us whenever she needed a new diaper, and because of that she would get these bad rashes. She also lies to us when we ask her if she needs to be changed. So we've tried to get her to sit on the toilet a few times a day when we're home, but it hasn't been working."

"She doesn't go?"

"No, she waits until we put the diaper back on her and then she goes. So we're going to wait a little bit before we try again."

"Natalie is good with telling us she needs to be changed, but she doesn't tell us when she needs to go. I remember Phoebe was able to do that pretty early."

"Elizabeth was the same way" she tells me. "She hated diapers, couldn't get out of them fast enough."

I look over and Natalie catches my eye. She is holding my slippers. "Mommy, I pick out slippas fa you."

I take them from her and praise her for being so thoughtful. "You did? Thank you Baby. This is just what Mommy needs." I look up at Christian and give him an appreciative smile. I lean down and remove my shoes, and Natalie sits on the floor and helps me with my slippers. "Thank you. These feel much better." I pull her into my lap and plant kisses in her hair.

"Mommy Sophie's cwying" she announces.

I pull her closer to me and hug her. "Oh Baby, I'm sure she's okay. Uncle Ethan's going to bring her back down here in a few minutes.

Right on cue, Ethan enters the room carrying Sophie. She is wearing a pair of Natalie's slippers. Our girls are so cute. I catch myself getting misty over just how adorable they are, and Natalie catches me. "Mommy, why aw you cwying?" She brings her little hand up to my cheek to catch a tear, and I can't help but let out a chuckle.

"Mommy is just so happy. I'm very proud of you for sharing your toys and your slippers with Sophie. You're being a very good girl today." I kiss her hair again and hug her tight. "Go play with Sophie for a little bit and then we'll have cake." I put her back down on the ground and watch as she runs over to Sophie and takes her hand.

I look over at Mia and she is smiling at the girls. She stands and wraps her arms around Ethan and he kisses the top of her head. "I'm really glad we moved here. Ethan, I'm so happy."

"Me too" he says to her, and I can tell she is surprised by his admission. She keeps her arms around him but pulls her head away from his chest to look up at him.

"Really?"

He kisses her lips and then looks down at her face. "Yes, really. It's an adjustment, but being here is what is best for our family."

Kate and I can't help but stare at the couple's lovely exchange. We both knew that Ethan was not 100% on board with this move. It means new schools for the kids, new sports and dance teams, adjustment to the weather, him having to commute back and forth to Los Angeles every week for work, but it also means they get to be closer to family. I'm so glad they are here.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Dessert is served. The caterers work to make sure that everyone has their choice of drink, whether its beer, wine, coffee, tea, juice or water, and then we have everyone choose their own desserts from the dessert table. The kids and teenagers settle with their desserts in the dining room, while the adults enjoy theirs in the main room. The two long tables have been pulled apart and cleaned from our dinner. Mia and I help the younger kids to make sure they take small bites and don't eat too fast. Natalie looks like she is getting tired, so I sit at the table and have her sit on my lap. After a few bites she is done, but I suspect it's because she is too tired. "Do you want Daddy to help you?"

She nods, she is even too tired to answer me properly. I take her fork and feed her small bites of the chocolate cake that she picked for herself. Not surprisingly, Sophie chose the same cake, as did Christopher. Elizabeth chose the red velvet cake. Mia told me that chocolate gives her a headache. The teenagers are sitting together enjoying the cheesecake. I look over and see that Phoebe is smiling. It's a relief to see her relaxed and happy. Trevor will be staying here with her tonight. I plan to talk with him in the morning about spending his money on the road trip. I've decided to reimburse him for paying Phoebe's way.

I look down at Natalie and she is asleep, her head rested against my chest. I chuckle and gently kiss the top of her head. I sit with her in my lap for a few minutes with my nieces and nephew next to me and eat some of her cake. Mia is sitting across from us with a piece of cheesecake. She keeps having to reach across the table to clean Christopher's face since he is being messy with his cake. It is all over his hands, his shirt and his face.

"Christopher, you look like the cake has exploded all over you" she says. Christopher cracks up at her comment and continues to work on his cake.

"That's what they have bathtubs and washing machines for" I say with a smile. This sort of thing would have driven me fucking crazy back in the day, but after having to clean up after Teddy, Phoebe and Natalie I've learned to deal with it and accept it. Teddy was quite the messy baby, and he loved getting dirty. The throw-up and dirty diapers were one thing. He was a baby and it was inevitable. But Ana had to calm me down the first few times he made a mess with his food or with his clothes in the sandbox or the dirt as a toddler. She said I shouldn't sweat the small stuff. She got quite the erotic spanking for allowing him to get messy, and for teasing me for getting worked up over the mess. It took some time but I did get used to it. Teddy was just too cute. I couldn't get angry with him. He also loved his baths so getting him cleaned up was never a problem for me. Mia has a quizzical look on her face. "What?"

"That sounds like something I would say, not you."

I chuckle and take another bite of the cake. "Mia, after three kids I don't think I can allow a mess scare me."

"I'm glad you said that" she says. I look up at her and she has that look on her face that I know all too well. Oh, she wants something.

"What is it and how much is it going to cost me?" I ask her as I take another bite.

"I need a favor" she says with a bit more nervousness in her voice.

"What is it Mia?"

"Ethan's getting a Soap Award, for directing."

I look at her and smile. "Mia, that's great news. So what's the favor?"

"Well, we'd like to go to Los Angeles to accept the award. They are having a ceremony to celebrate all of the nominees and winners."

I know where this is going. I decide to rescue her from her inner struggle. "You need me and Ana to take the kids?"

She looks even more nervous now. "I know it's a lot to ask, I mean you have so much going on with Phoebe, and Ana's pregnancy…."

"Mia, stop, okay? I'll talk to Ana but I'm sure it will be fine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. How long would you be gone?"

"It would just be for the weekend, the second weekend of October."

I put the fork down on the plate and shift Natalie so that she and I are more comfortable. "You took care of Natalie and Ana while the girls were in the hospital. That's how it works in this family. We take care of each other. So you and Ethan will take this weekend trip to Los Angeles and Ana and I will look after your kids."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I insist." She reaches across the table and takes my hand, squeezing it. I can see so much appreciation in her face, something I didn't see much of when she was a kid. She just always got what she wanted with no questions asked. Marriage and motherhood has changed her, and it is definitely a delight to see.

"Thank you. Thank you a million times, thank you. You are the best brother on the planet. Don't tell Elliot I said that." I chuckle as I see the younger version of my little sister as she thanks me. She stands and tends to her kids, cleaning their hands and their faces with wipes that she keeps in her purse. I stand with Natalie in my arms and carry her to her bedroom to tuck her in for the night.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

After putting Natalie down for the night, I walk back into the main room to find my beautiful wife. She is seated with Carla between her and Scott, and she is lovingly holding her baby bump. I just stand and take in the site that is my gorgeous wife. My eyes are like a spot light on her, and no one else is around at the moment. She is my everything. Our kids are our everything. My spotlight is then blocked by none other than Kate. She leans down and hugs my wife, followed by Elliot. He helps her stand so that she could hug and kiss them properly. They talk for a moment before Carrick hands over a sleeping Cameron to Elliot. I approach them to say my goodbyes. I kiss Kate on the cheek and give my brother a one arm hug.

"Have you seen Ava? We need to get this little one home" Elliot asks me. I pat his back and walk away to find her. When I do I see her with Nathan on the back porch. They are lounging together on one of the chairs with his suit jacket keeping them warm. I feel guilty for intruding on my niece, but then again, she is a child and this is my house. I approach them with my hands in my pockets.

"Ava, your parents are about ready to leave."

"Oh" she answers sleepily. I just stand and watch as Nathan stands first and then helps her up. I look over and see her crutches leaned up against the table. I manage to retrieve them before Nathan and hand them over to her. I notice that she doesn't look well.

"Are you alright?"

"What? Yeah, I'm okay" she says as she supports her weight onto her crutches. "Just tired."

"You're welcome to stay the night if you need to" I offer.

"No, that's okay. Thanks Uncle Christian."

She sounds so weak. I look at Nathan and he seems to be worried about her too. Ava limps past me with her crutches and Nathan follows her. When we are back in the house I look around and find Phoebe. She and Trevor are saying their goodbyes to Sawyer, Brooke and Luke. I walk further into the house until I am in the main room again where most of the family is either sitting or standing. Mia and Ethan are getting their kids ready to leave as well. I find my wife standing and drape my arm around her waist. We settle in this spot as a receiving line of our family members say their goodbyes. When Elliot approaches me I make sure to let him know that Ava doesn't seem to be feeling well. He kisses Ana's cheek and is by his daughter's side in an instant. I watch as he tries to comfort her, but she brushes him off and limps toward the foyer with Nathan behind her. I shake my head. Why are all the women in this family so damn stubborn?

"You okay?" Ana asks me. My focus immediately shifts to her beautiful face.

"Yes, Baby. I'm very okay." I lean down and kiss the spot below her ear, and I have to resist the urge to nibble on her earlobe since her mother is next to say her goodbyes. She hugs Ana tight and then extends an arm out for a three way hug with me. I pull out of the hug after a few seconds. I don't like to hug anyone outside my immediate family for too long. Scott wishes her a happy birthday and kisses her cheek. I shake his hand and they are on their way.

After I close the front door to our leaving guests, I turn and wrap my arms around Ana from behind. She seems sad. I tilt her head slightly to the side and trail soft kisses from her neck down to her shoulder. "What's wrong?" I ask as I continue my trail.

"Oh, not wrong. I just wish that my mother accepted our invitation to stay the night. She's leaving tomorrow."

I turn her around to face me and place my hands behind her just above her delectable bottom. My nose connects to hers. "I'm sorry, Baby." I kiss the tip of her nose.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she was here. I know it couldn't have been easy for her and Scott to get away for a weekend when he books his weekends with gigs." I nod and try to change my facial expression, but she catches on to me. "Wait" she says as she pulls away slightly. "You didn't….. did you pay them to come here?" Shit, I was hoping she wouldn't find out about this. "You did, didn't you?"

"Yes, but….. please don't get mad, Ana. I wanted them to be here for your birthday and I was afraid they would say no."

"I can't believe this" she says as she turns away from me and covers her face.

"Ana, please" I say as I put my hand on her shoulder, pleading with her to turn around and face me. But she pulls away from my touch.

"No, don't. Just don't."

She rushes upstairs in tears. Fuck, what have I done? I run my hand through my hair as I watch her until I cannot see her anymore. Phoebe and Trevor approach me hand in hand.

"Was that Mom? Is she okay?" Phoebe asks me.

"Yes, Mom is fine. Did you have a good time tonight?" I ask her, reaching for a distraction.

"Yeah, I did" she says and smiles at me. "I'm glad we had Mom's party here. I didn't feel so trapped and isolated in this house with everyone here."

I sigh and rub my eyes hard with my thumb and index finger. "I'm sorry, Phoebe. I know you hate being stuck in this house. It won't be for too much longer."

She nods. "Well, goodnight Dad. We're going to turn in." She walks up to me and wraps her arms around me, holding me in a hug that feels comforting. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head.

"Goodnight Peanut. Sleep well."

I turn my attention to her boyfriend. "Trevor, I'd like to have a word with you in the morning."

"Dad?" Phoebe asks, but I keep my eyes on Trevor.

"Actually, I need to head out early tomorrow morning. Me and the guys need to run a few miles a day in order to stay on the soccer team."

"Alright, how about now then?" I ask him. He nods and kisses Phoebe's cheek.

"Go, I'll be up in a few minutes" he tells her. Phoebe gives me a look that tells me she doesn't approve of what I am doing, but I don't care. This doesn't really concern her as much as it concerns Trevor. I nod at her, hoping that gives her reassurance that this isn't going to be a bad meeting. It works, because she turns and walks up the stairs. I have Trevor follow me into my study.

I close the door behind him and walk over to my desk. I sit and motion my hand out for him to have a seat in one of the chairs. He hesitates and just stands there with his hands in his pockets.

"Have a seat, Trevor" I tell him. He finally sits down but he seems tense. I internally smile at my ability to make him nervous. "Did you and my daughter have a good time at the party?"

"Yes" he says. He seems surprised by my question. "We did. Thank you for letting me be a part of it."

"You are important to Phoebe, and it is important to me that she is happy. It is also important to me that she feels safe, which is why I have allowed you to stay with her at night."

"I must admit, that really surprised me."

"Yeah, me too" I tell him, and I watch as he squirms in his seat. "I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't like you for my daughter. And it really hit the nail on the head when you took her on that road trip. That definitely didn't score any points with me."

"I understand" he says softly.

"I don't think you do. You can't possibly understand until you have kids of your own." He raises his eyes at me and I raise my index finger instantly. "Don't get any ideas."

"Mr Grey, believe me I am nowhere near ready to have kids. And… besides, you don't need to worry about Phoebe in that way. Not right now."

I already knew that my daughter wasn't having sex, but it is definitely nice to hear it from her boyfriend. I can't help the small grin that is growing on my face. "That's good Trevor. Very good. You respect my daughter, and you protect her. You were there when she needed you the most. And you are here for her now. The fact that you are not yet sexually active with my daughter tells me that your feelings for her are genuine."

"Thank you, Mr Grey."

"Compliments from me are rare. Don't let me regret it" I shoot back, but he does his best to stand his ground. I have to admit, I admire that.

"Sir, I cherish the relationship I have with your daughter. I love the fact that we are waiting because it is giving us the opportunity to grow together and get to know each other. I like being there for her and I like protecting her, and I like how she makes me feel when I'm around her. I'm learning so much from her, not just about her but about myself. I'm not going to ruin what I have with her with sex." He whispers the last word as he looks down at his hands and blushes. I have to work hard to hide my amusement, because as much as I'm amused by his embarrassment, I am also in awe of him. How many teenage boys can say that and mean it?

"Too much information?" he asks me.

"No, that's what a father likes to hear." I lean up in my chair and look down at the check that I have already written out to him. "I understand that you covered all expenses during your recent adventure."

"My Dad taught me that the man should pay for everything."

"Your father sounds like a smart man." I reach out my hand with the check gripped between my fingers. "Here, take it."

"What's this?"

"While I share the sentient that the man should pay for everything, I don't believe you should pay my daughter's way. She's my daughter and that is my responsibility."

He shakes his head at me and tries to give it back. "I don't want this."

"Take it" I say sternly, but then I soften my voice. "Phoebe is your girlfriend, but she is still my daughter. That will always take precedence." Well, until she gets married, but I don't need to offer that option.

"Sir, please. With all due respect I consider Phoebe my responsibility too. I knew she was nervous about going on that trip. Not just because she would be disappointing you but also because she was scared to be away from home. I made a promise to her that I would take care of her. And that meant financially too."

"I don't condone your decision to go on this road trip, or taking Phoebe along for the ride when you knew that I didn't approve, but you have proved to me over the past few weeks that you are someone she trusts and can rely on. Someone that respects her and cares about her well-being. That is the only reason we are here today without my foot connecting with your balls." Fuck, I'm losing my temper. I need to calm down. I run my hand through my hair, close my eyes and count to ten in my head. I look at Trevor and he looks frightened by my sudden outburst. I won't apologize, because at some point I wanted to physically hurt this kid for taking my daughter away. I've been able to make peace with that, I had to for Phoebe's sake. "You can take this check, or I can have the money wired into your account. Your choice."

I watch him as he sighs in defeat. Good. He has to know that I always get what I want. Before I dismiss him there is something I'd like to know, something that his background check didn't shine light on. "By the way, how did you manage to fund this adventure? As far as I know you don't have a job."

"I don't have a job" he confirms. "My parents insist that I focus on school and soccer, and I do chores around the house. They give me allowance and I've been saving my money since I was five so that I could buy a car. But my parents surprised me with a car for my birthday." He smiles at the memory, and I start to calm down since we're moving onto another subject. Another good quality, he knows how to save money. "I was totally shocked when they gave me the car. I was prepared to start shopping around after my seventeenth birthday."

Trevor and I spend a few more minutes discussing cars. I've never really had the opportunity to just talk with my daughter's boyfriend about something so simple, yet a big interest for the both of us. We are both more relaxed now, which is actually a relief. I don't want to dislike my daughter's boyfriend. That would only cause more problems for Phoebe and me. We are finally getting our close bond back, so I'll be damned if I let anything or anyone ruin that. I dismiss Trevor and tell him that taking the money is nonnegotiable. He smirks and tells me that he'll save the money and gradually spend it on his dates with Phoebe.

After he leaves I remain in my desk chair for a bit and look around at all of the pictures I keep in my study. There are some with Teddy and Phoebe as little kids, the four of us before Natalie came along, some pictures of each of my children by themselves, and some of me with Ana. A picture from our wedding day hangs on the wall. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Ana was so beautiful and innocent. I remember our vows, our first kiss as husband and wife, our first dance, the first time we made love as husband and wife on my jet, our honeymoon….. I can go on for hours. But I think I've spent too long down here. I need to get to Ana and make her understand why I did what I did.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I cannot believe my mother took money from my husband to be here for my birthday. God, I feel so foolish. I was going on and on about how happy I was that she was here. I had no idea that she had to be paid in order to come here for a weekend to visit her daughter. I cannot help the tears that continue to escape my eyes and drip down my cheeks. This is how Christian finds me. I am still wearing my party dress and slippers, and I'm sure my face looks hideous with my mascara running. He lies down behind me and drapes his arm around me, resting his hand on my baby bump and kissing my hair. I feel even more foolish for having him pay my mother to come here.

"Baby, please don't be upset with me" he whispers.

Oh no, he thinks that I'm upset with him. Am I? I don't think so. The anger and disappointment are aimed more toward my mother. I sit up and he sits up with me. I reach up and dry my eyes as much as I can, and the black makeup comes off onto my hands. Without a word, Christian disappears into our bathroom and comes back with a warm washcloth. My Fifty, always taking care of me. No, I'm not upset with him. How could I be? "Thank you" I say to him. My voice is trembling from all of the crying. He tries to soothe me by rubbing my back.

"Talk to me" he pleads softly.

I pull the washcloth away from my face and shake my head. "I'm not upset with you" I say to him shakily. He takes the washcloth from me and gently rubs it over my eyes to clear away the running makeup. I think he's relieved at my admission. I feel bad that he thought for even a second that I was upset with him over this. After all, he did tell me the truth when I asked him flat out if he gave my mother money. "How much did you have to give her?"

"It's not what you think" he says softly as he wraps the washcloth a different way and proceeds to clean more of my face.

"What do I think?"

"You think that I had to bribe your mother to come here. It's not like that."

"Okay" I say slowly.

He looks down at his hand holding the now black and brown stained washcloth. "I'll be right back." He climbs off the bed and disappears into our bathroom again. When he returns, he has my face cream and the same washcloth which he had run under the water. He sits in front of me again and patiently cleans my face. What would I do without this man? When he is finished, he puts a small amount of cream on his fingertips and gently smoothens it over my face. I close my eyes as he does it. When he is finished, he plants a soft kiss in between my eyebrows.

"Thank you" I say softly. He nods and takes my hand into his, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. "Please tell me why you gave my mother money."

"I will tell you, but I don't want you to worry." Oh, why would I be worried? Is there something wrong with my mother? That didn't even occur to me. I know that Christian can see the fear in my face as he tries to sooth me. "Ana, this is nothing you should worry yourself over so please don't."

"Okay" I say, but I'm having a hard time making this promise since I am clearly out of the loop. "Tell me."

"When I called your mother and told her about the party, she was happy and upset about it at the same time. She wanted to be here, Baby. She was upset because she didn't think it was possible for her and Scott to give up a weekend gig."

"I don't understand" I say and shake my head. Scott and Carla never have problems getting gigs. From what my mother tells me, they are able to consistently get gigs every weekend.

"Ana, Carla isn't working anymore. She stopped working a few months ago." I'm shocked when he tells me this. My mother never said anything to me about this. "Working involved a lot of standing and she simply couldn't do that anymore. She and Scott are living off of their social security and the money they make from his gigs."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I ask him. I'm shaking again, and I'm angry. My husband is keeping things from me.

"Ana, I didn't want you to worry, and neither did Carla. She asked me to keep this from you. And I agreed because you don't need the stress. I paid their way to get here and I also gave her money to match what they would have made off of a gig this weekend so that they don't fall behind on their financials."

I'm not sure what to make of this. My mother stopped working and didn't tell me. She told my husband and then told him to keep the news from me. My husband willingly went along with it, and he knows how much I hate being kept in the dark. He hasn't done that for some time. He takes both of my hands in his and I look at his face. As if reading my unspoken thoughts he proceeds to reassure me. "Ana, Baby you have the tremendous burden of carrying our twins, and we were instructed to lay off the stress. I knew that this would stress you out because you have this terrible habit of worrying about people. I am your husband and I made the conscious decision to take this on by myself. I take care of things, you know that about me." I nod. Because it is true, he'd take on the weight of the world if it meant protecting me. "I made Carla promise to contact me if she falls behind on her financials because I'm going to help her if she does." I can feel more tears escaping. He leans in and kisses them away, which causes me to chuckle. "Are we okay?" he asks me as he raises my hands to his lips and plants soft kisses on my knuckles.

"That depends" I say while trying to hide my shy smile. Too late because he is already smiling back at me.

"That depends on what, Mrs Grey?"

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself closer to him. "That depends on whether or not you plan to finish something you started hours and hours ago."

He wraps his arms around me and unexpectedly squeezes my ass, which causes me to yelp. "I seem to remember your fist connecting with my chest, and then some major eye rolling….." He kisses me as he lifts my dress and pushes his hand down my panties to rub and squeeze my bare bottom.

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Oh Ana…." he kisses me again. "First I am going to help you out of this dress, and then I'm going to massage that fine ass of yours…." he continues to kiss me and tease me with his fingers. "And then, I think a good spanking is in order….. followed by some slow, slow love making."

"Mm you sure know how to treat a lady on her birthday."

"We should probably do something about that smart mouth while we're at it."

* * *

**_Thank you so much for all of the reviews and support! You guys are amazing. There is more to come and I'm looking forward to writing it. Happy Reading!_**


	38. Fifty Kavanagh Kids

Christian's POV

I wake around six thirty to darkness. It is still dark outside, a clear sign that we are in October. The second weekend actually. We've been so busy over the past few weeks. It's hard to believe that Ana's birthday was over a month ago.

As my eyes adjust to the darkness in our room, I look over at my wife's sleeping form. She is lying on her side facing me and she is in a deep sleep. She is six months along now in her pregnancy. Her baby bump is growing by the day, and I've had to work overtime to calm her and assure her that she is still my beautiful Ana and that she is sexy as hell when she is pregnant. After all, it's the truth. We still have our kinky fuckery, but I can't spank her at this point. I am not taking any chances with this pregnancy. Dr Greene said that although Ana's numbers are good, we should still be careful since she is over forty and she is carrying twins. I've had to remind Ana a few times to take it easy. I don't allow her to lift Natalie or anything over ten pounds.

Ana is now officially retired from Grey Publishing. She's been quite moody these past few days as a result and she's been taking things out on me, not just verbally but also physically by slapping my chest or my arm. She's petite but she could delivery some pretty painful slaps. If she weren't pregnant I'd take her over my knee to calm her down. Instead I've had to be patient with her, speak with her calmly about whatever is bothering her and then give her space if she's not receptive of my attempts to help her. It takes a lot for me to keep my temper in check and be patient with her mood swings. They seem to be worse this time around, and I think she's noticed it too. She would feel guilty after calming down and then I would hold her until I know she is okay. This is hard for her. She's been working since even before graduating college. I know it's going to take some time for Ana to adjust to being home during the day, but once she does I know that she'll remember that she made this decision because it's what is best for our family right now. Not only will she be home with Natalie and the twins, but it also just happens to coincide with her being home with Phoebe. Since The Sound Prep hasn't reopened yet, the teenagers are on homeschool until further notice. Speaking of Phoebe, she hates being homeschooled.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

Ugh, I hate homeschool. I don't know why but if feels like there's so much more work that we have to do than what would be expected of us in the actual school building. It is so difficult to get myself into the academic mindset when I'm at home. I started out slow, not finishing my assignments in their allotted time. Dad was furious. He made sure to express his disappointment by taking my iPhone and iPad away for a week. When that didn't work he grounded me from seeing Trevor and Ava the following week. I was so upset, not because of the punishments but because I had fallen so far behind in the school work and didn't see how I could catch up. Dad saw that the punishments weren't working and insisted that we have a long talk about it. Once I told him what was going on he offered to help me with my schoolwork. I feel so guilty that he had to take time out of his busy schedule to do that, but I'm also grateful because I am now all caught up. He said that he'll need to keep my iPad for another week just to make sure I stay on track, but then he said that I could have my date night with Trevor tonight and see Ava tomorrow.

I roll over and see that it is still dark outside. I look at the time, six forty five? Too early for me to be awake. I close my eyes and work on finding sleep, hoping to keep the streak going of not having nightmares. I was able to get over my fears of being alone a few weeks ago, so Ava and Trevor have been able to stop sleeping over. I know that made my parents happy, especially Dad. I'm sure he wasn't thrilled with having my boyfriend sleep over in my bed, but with the way I was right after the shooting, it was necessary. I was a complete mess. Looking back on it, I wish I could have handled it better. I can be such a baby sometimes. I'm going to be eighteen next week. Eighteen! Can you believe it? I wonder if that milestone will help me to grow up. I wonder if my parents will treat me any different. _Right, keep dreaming Phoebe_.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I wake around seven thirty to my husband's gorgeous face. He's been watching me sleep. _Oh Fifty_.

"Good morning, beautiful" he says to me so lovingly. He then leans in and kisses my nose.

"Good morning my beautiful husband." I reach my hand for his and our hands play together.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks me.

I look at our hands as I think about it. "I slept well. I'm still a little tired."

He leans in and kisses the spot between my eyes. The feeling of his lips there is so soothing. "Go back to sleep then. I'll wake you up in an hour."

"Christian, I can't go back to sleep. We have three kids under five to tend to." I start to get out of bed but he stops me. "Christian"

"Ana, calm down okay? I will handle it."

"You will handle it" I repeat his words to me, and the sarcasm isn't lost on him.

"Have faith in me, Sweetheart. You will need to do a lot of that once the twins are here."

I instantly feel guilty for doubting him. He is being so thoughtful and sweet. "I'm sorry, of course you can handle it. The fact of the matter is, you don't need to. We both agreed to take care of Ethan and Mia's kids this weekend and I don't want you to let me off easy."

"Oh, you're not getting off easy" he says teasingly as he leans down and throws one of his legs over mine. He brings his head down and connects his nose with mine for a moment. "While I take the girls to dance class, you get to deal with our very active, very energetic nephew."

I giggle as he plants kisses on my nose and cheek. "Is that right?"

"Yes that's right." He kisses me a few more times. I love my playful Fifty.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Ana and I make love before we get out of bed and tend to the kids. A few weeks ago I had promised my sister that we would look after her kids while she and her husband took a weekend trip to Los Angeles to accept a Soap Opera Award. I figured it would be good practice for us since we have the twins coming. We'll be raising three kids that are within three years of age. Mia's kids are seven, five and now three since Sophia had a birthday last weekend.

Elizabeth spent the night at a friend's house, so we only have Christopher and Sophia this morning. We'll be meeting Elizabeth at the soccer field since she and her friend have a game today. Ana and I kiss as we split up to get the kids. She is going to get Christopher up while I get the girls. Christopher seems to behave better around Ana, so she had decided to primarily look out for him this weekend.

I walk into Natalie's room to find Natalie awake in her bed and Sophia asleep on the floor. My niece still sleeps in a crib, and if she is away from home she'll only sleep in a bed with Elizabeth, so Mia and Ethan had decided to tuck her in last night on the floor with a few blankets and pillows. I'm grateful that they came by last night to put the kids to bed because we were able to see how their bedtime routines work. For Natalie, we read to her for a bit with some soft music on and then tuck her in. After a kiss goodnight and ten second back rub, we leave her to sleep. Sophia is another story. She needs to fall asleep while someone is holding her. Christopher often needs to be convinced to stay in his bed. He screams and throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way. He only did that for a short while last night while Ethan was trying to put him to bed. I'm in awe of his patience with his kids. Christopher and Sophia are a lot to handle sometimes. They kick, they scream, they hit…. my kids would get spanked for doing that after just one warning. But not the Kavanagh kids. Mia and Ethan told us to put them in time out if they need it. Yeah, we'll see how that goes.

I sit on Natalie's bed and she climbs into my lap to cuddle. I love these moments with her. I just want her to stay this age for as long as possible.

"I wove you Daddy" she says to me softly.

"I love you too, Sweet Pea." I lift her enough so that I could kiss her cheek. "Let's get you changed, okay?" I lay her down and change her as Sophia wakes up. She starts to cry for her Mommy. I try to assure my niece with words since I'm in the middle of changing Natalie. As soon as I put the diaper on I lean down and pick up my niece. I hold her and shush her as she cries, but it is a soft tired kind of cry. She's not used to waking up and not having Mia with her. I pat and rub her back softly and continue to shush her, and I'm grateful that it works. I stand and pace around Natalie's room until I can be sure that Sophia is calm. Natalie busies herself with the items in her changing basket. I don't see any harm since the cream and powder have childproof caps on them. As soon as Sophia is calm I ask her if she needs to use the potty. She nods so I put her down and watch as she runs into Natalie's bathroom. Once in there she turns around and looks up at me.

"Do you need help?" I ask her. She nods, so I go into the bathroom, help her remove her pull-up and sit her on the toilet with the potty seat that she brought from home. I turn around and see that Natalie is lying down in bed again and playing with her doll. A whole five minutes go by before Sophia pees into the toilet. It's only a little bit, but she insists that she's done. I clean her up and then help her wash her hands before bringing her back into the bedroom. Next I change her out of her pull-up and put underwear on her. I don't believe she is fully toilet trained, but Mia insisted that we keep her in underwear since she's been doing well. Ana and I just have to keep asking her if she has to go, and put her on the potty seat every so often if she doesn't go on her own.

I gather the girls' dance clothes and get them dressed since I will need to take them to the studio right after we have breakfast. Natalie is always easy to get ready, and Sophia is surprisingly cooperating too. In less than ten minutes I am able to put them in their tights, leotards and dance skirts as well as put their hair in pony tails and wash their faces. Ana walks in holding Christopher's hand and I can tell that she's impressed. Sophia is happy to see her brother. She runs over and gives him a hug while Natalie reaches her hands up to me.

"Uppie" she says to me as she stands on her tippy toes. I lift her up, carry her out of the room and down the steps while Ana and the kids follow. I tell the kids to play in the main room while I help Ana prepare breakfast.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I feel so guilty for doubting my husband. He was so good with the girls this morning. Not only did he get them dressed in their dance clothes but he helped Sophia with her potty training. He was great with Teddy and Phoebe's training, but I wasn't so sure about how our niece would take to him. Sophie can be such a sweetheart at times, but she can also be a crabby stubborn three year old when she's unhappy or doesn't get her way.

So far this weekend is going well for us. There has only been one incident so far, which happened while Christian and I were getting breakfast ready. We had the kids play in the main room and Christian peeked in on them every once in a while. Christopher had his trucks and the girls had their dolls. Right before it was time to bring them into the kitchen, we heard Sophie scream which sent Christian running into the room. We thought she was hurt, but luckily she wasn't. Once in the main room we discovered that Christopher had taken one of Sophie's dolls from her and she was chasing him. Christian was able to catch up with Christopher while I was able to calm Sophie. She was so upset and angry with her brother for taking her doll from her. Christian was very stern. I think he scared our nephew because Christopher was subdued from the time Christian scolded him until the time Christian left the house to take the girls to dance class. I stayed with Christopher and we watched a movie while we waited for them to return. I'm not sure why our nephew behaves well with me, but I welcome it. Being six months pregnant, I can't exactly chase him around the house.

Right now we are at the soccer fields. Natalie and I are watching Christopher's practice while Christian and Sophie are a few fields over watching Elizabeth's game. Collins is also with us, while Markson is with Christian. Collins doesn't usually work weekends, but Christian had requested that he swap two week days with this weekend since Collins is really good with helping with kids. I feel most comfortable going somewhere with Natalie when we have Collins with us. It's been that way since the end of my maternity leave when I took Natalie to work for the first time. Collins has been with us since then, and I wouldn't want it any other way. He pays attention to how Christian and I care for her. He and his wife have babysat a few times whenever Christian and I had to attend charity functions. Natalie feels comfortable with him picking her up or watching her while I'm in meetings or using the restroom. For the longest time that person for me was Sawyer since he had guarded me while Teddy and Phoebe were little. But Christian decided that Sawyer was best suited as Phoebe's guard when she started kindergarten. That was a big adjustment for me, not only sending Phoebe off to school but getting used to a new guard. Guards for me came and went for a few years until Collins was hired.

I look over and see Collins rolling the ball to Natalie and having her kick it to him. He is so good with kids. I often wonder why he and his wife haven't had any of their own. Although Collins is a good friend as well as employee, we don't talk about his personal life. From what I can see, he and his wife are very happy. They were at my birthday party and he had his arm around her for most of the evening. I really want to ask him, but I'm afraid of crossing the line into his personal life.

I look at the field and watch the kids practice with the coach. I watch Christopher and I'm impressed that he is paying attention and following the coach's instructions. The kids are taking turns kicking the ball into the net. Christopher is next and he puts his entire body into the kick, so much that he falls over. I worry for a moment that he hurt himself, but a few seconds later he is on his feet and running around again. I'm not used to watching kids play sports. Christian and I didn't put Teddy or Phoebe in sports. Christian was afraid they would get hurt. It was always piano and self-defense classes. But now I feel like we are spreading our wings a bit with having Phoebe and Natalie in dance classes.

I look over to my right again and see Collins carrying Natalie over. He leans down and puts her in my lap.

"Mommy, I'm sleepy" she says to me softly. I wrap my arms around her and hold her the best way I can with sitting in a camping chair and having a beach ball sized stomach.

"You okay Ana?" Collins asks me. Yes, he's been able to cross into personal territory and call me Ana whenever Christian is not around, an insisting request of mine of course.

"I'm fine, Kevin. Have a seat." He sits down in the camping chair next to me and we watch the kids practice as Natalie falls asleep in my lap. I look down at her and stroke her hair." You are really good with her" I tell him.

"Thank you."

I might as well go for it. It's now or never. "So do you think you and your wife will ever have any?" He is quiet, and I immediately feel guilty for asking. "I'm sorry, too personal?"

"No, that's okay." Oh no, he looks bummed. What have I done? "We've been trying, but no luck yet. We're making an appointment to see a doctor."

"I'm so sorry Kevin, I didn't mean to bring it up."

"Ana, it's fine. I don't really get to talk to anyone about this, except my wife of course. She feels so guilty, like it's her fault. I keep telling her it's not."

"You're a really great man, Kevin. She's lucky to have you. Just keep being there for her. You're going to be fine."

"I know, thanks Ana."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Sophia and I are watching Elizabeth's soccer game, but Elizabeth hasn't played yet. I'm assuming the coach is going to give each kid a turn to play, so I just stay back and wait. I'm trying to pay attention to what is happening with the game but at the same time I need to keep an eye on my niece to make sure she doesn't wander off. I look down and see that she is pulling at the grass.

"Sophia" I say as I squat down in front of her. I have to grab her wrist since she doesn't acknowledge me. "Sophia, don't do that, Honey. Let's watch the game." I pick her up and hold her to keep her from pulling the grass. She starts to put her fingers in her mouth but I stop her. "Uh uh, no. No mouth. Your fingers are dirty."

"I have to go potty" she says shyly.

_Christ!_ "Now?" She nods her head adamantly. Of course she needs to go now, while we are at the soccer fields and the nearest restroom is in the middle school which is about a thousand yards away. "Alight, I'll take you."

I throw the small backpack over my shoulder and carry her over to where the team is seated on the sidelines so that I can talk to my other niece. "Elizabeth, I'm taking your sister to the restroom. Markson is right over there if you need anything. Okay?" She nods to let me know that she understands and then turns her focus back to the field. She looks unhappy, but I can't address that now. It will need to wait until I come back. I start to walk fast with Sophia in my arms. When a three year old tells you that she needs to go potty, it is like a ticking time bomb. She doesn't mean five, ten minutes from now. She means now! I am about halfway there when I feel it, the warm liquid seeping into my shirt. _Shit, she peed on me._ Damn it Mia and her toilet training!

I slow my pace and pull Sophia away from me slightly to assess the damage. She knows what has happened and she starts to lean into me and cry. I am beyond pissed, but not with her. This isn't her fault. I hold her properly again and rub her back. "Shhhhh, its okay Sweetheart." I continue to walk until we reach the middle school and then the restroom. I take her in to find that there isn't a changing table. Of course there isn't a changing table. This is a middle school. Sophia is still crying so I need to calm her down. I squat and have her stand in front of me so that I can talk to her.

"Sophia, Baby, everything's going to be fine. You had an accident but it wasn't your fault. Do you understand me?" I wait for her to answer me. She finally does with a nod as she wipes her tears. "I'm going to get you cleaned up, and then you are going to wear a pull-up."

"Nooooo noooo" she whines and starts to tantrum by stomping her feet. I hold her hands and wait for her to calm herself.

"Sophia, do not act like that or I will take you home and put you to bed." This seems to calm her tantrum but she's crying again. "You only have to wear the pull-up until we are back at the house, then we can put you in underwear again." I grab some toilet tissue from the stall and gently wipe her tears. "The restroom is a long way from the fields and we wouldn't want to have another accident, would we?"

"No" she says sullenly.

"No, that's right. So you can wear the pull-up now, and then when we are back at the house, the first thing we will do is have you sit on the potty, we will wash our hands, and then you can wear underwear. Okay?"

"Okay"

I surprise myself with my patience, and the response that I'm getting from my niece as a result. She stops crying and she cooperates with me as I get her cleaned up with wipes and help her into a pull-up. Lucky for her there is a change of clothes for her in the back pack, but not for me. I remove my soiled shirt and call Taylor to see if he and Gail could drop off another shirt for me. Our house is not too far away so it won't take long.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

"She what?" I ask my husband as I try to suppress my laughter. I can't believe our niece peed on him.

"It's not funny" he says to me. He sounds so childish.

"Yes it is." I walk over to him and put my arms around him, stopping his efforts to remove his clothes so that he can get into the shower. "Oh come on, all of our kids have peed on you at one time or another. You won't melt." I continue to work to suppress my giggle, but still find it difficult.

"Are you laughing at me, Mrs Grey?"

"Yes, what do you intend to do about it?"

"I have some ideas. But first you need to let me shower, and then we need to get the kids fed." He puts his hands on my hips, leans down and kisses me passionately. We are lost in each other for a few seconds until we pull apart. Once we do, we stand with our arms around each other and enjoy the moment, until Christian pulls away and slaps the side of my thigh. "Watch yourself, Mrs Grey."

I watch as he strips completely out of his clothes and climbs into the shower. I want to join him so badly, but Phoebe is watching the kids and I need to relieve her so that she can get ready for her date.

I make my way down the steps and into the main room to find Phoebe and the four kids sitting and watching a movie. Christopher is sitting on her lap and paying attention. Sophie is lying against Elizabeth and sucking her thumb. When Natalie sees me, she runs over to me and hugs my legs. "Hi Mommy"

"Hi Baby. Are you having a good time?"

"Yes!" She runs back and sits on the floor in front of the television. I take a seat on the sofa and just take in the current, most likely temporary, peace of having four kids occupied with a movie.

"Phoebe, why don't you go and get ready for your date?"

"Mom, are you sure you don't want me to stay home tonight and help?"

I reach over and stroke her hair. "No, Baby. Go out with Trevor and have fun. We'll be okay."

With that, she picks Christopher up off of her lap and places him on the sofa next to Elizabeth. The kids are still quiet and engrossed in the movie even after Phoebe leaves the room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

We sit down to dinner at the breakfast bar. Natalie and Sophia are in their booster seats while Christopher is sitting on his legs. Elizabeth sits normally as she is able to reach without any assistance. I have Natalie and Sophia sat next to me while Ana has Christopher and Elizabeth next to her. We don't need to worry about Elizabeth. She's not a picky eater and she would choose vegetables over sweets if given the choice. Mia said that Christopher had just started to expand on his menu. He had graduated from chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, and usually eats what they eat for dinner. The four of us are eating lasagna, while the little ones are eating chicken nuggets and carrots.

I have to help Sophia several times with her carrots since she is not used to eating with a fork. Mia and Ethan allow her to eat with her fingers, but I think she's old enough to eat with a fork. She does well after I put the fork in her hand properly, but then she gets frustrated after a few bites and drops it, only for me to put it in her hand again, and again. "Help" she says to me when the fork starts to slide from her fingers again. I help her as many times as she needs because I can see that she is really trying. She's not complaining or throwing a fit. I guess it doesn't hurt for her to see everyone else using a fork.

"Daddy help" Natalie says to me. I look at her and see that she has put her fork down.

"Baby, pick up your fork and eat" I say to her before picking up my own fork. I scoop some lasagna into my mouth and put my fork down as I enjoy the delicious party of Italian spices in my mouth. I look at Natalie again and she looks at me pleadingly. "Natalie, eat your dinner. Pick up your fork, please" I say to her a bit more sternly.

"Can you help me?" she asks me sadly.

I let out a sigh. Normally I would help her eat when she is tired, but right now I know she is doing this to get my attention. It's hard for her to see me give the other kids attention since she is used to being the only small child in my life. Pretty soon she's going to have to share me with her twin siblings, which is not going to be easy for her. I don't know how I am going to handle that. I hate to see her sad, like right now. I decide to give in and help her. "Okay, Daddy will help you." I pick up her fork and feed a few of her carrots to her in between feeding myself a few bites of lasagna. "Okay, I want you to eat the last two nuggets and then you can have more carrots" I tell her. She does as she's told and starts to eat the nuggets. I look over at Christopher and he is almost finished his dinner. I'm relieved that dinner isn't becoming an issue. I thought it would be a nightmare getting the four kids to eat. But surprisingly this is something they do well. Christopher cleans his plate and then picks it up.

"No, Christopher, put it down please" I tell him. I don't want him to drop it or make a mess with the left over sauce on his plate.

"Would you like some more?" Ana asks him. He shakes his head. Ana takes his napkin and helps him clean his hands and face. "Okay, just sit here for a few minutes while we finish."

"No, I wanna go play."

"You can play when we are all finished" I tell him.

"No, No No" he wales as he starts to tantrum. He starts to kick his legs and pound his tiny fists on the table, but it's enough force to make the dishes clank against the table and for Ana's drink to spill. I'm out of my seat instantly and by their sides to help Ana prevent the liquid from spilling onto the floor. We are able to prevent an even bigger mess as we grab towels and push the liquid toward the middle of the table. Without a word, I bring Christopher down from his stool and lead him into the main room for his time out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

Well, we almost got through dinner without incident. Our nephew finished first and didn't want to sit and wait for the rest of us to finish. That's always been a rule at the dinner table since it was our opportunity to catch up with our kids, and Christian insists we keep that rule even when we have guests. Christian is with him in the main room for his time out. He has to sit for five straight minutes to match his age.

I take this opportunity to speak with Elizabeth about her soccer game. Christian had talked to her coach to find out why Elizabeth wasn't playing, only to find out that she didn't want to play.

"So, I didn't get to see your game today" I start. "How did it go?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "It was okay."

"You didn't play" I say to her. She was eating her food, but now she's just pushing the last few bites around on her plate. "Your coach said that you didn't want to play. Were you not feeling well?"

She continues to look down at her plate and push the food around. "Liz, Sweetie what's wrong?"

She sighs and looks over at me. "I don't want to play soccer."

"You didn't want to play today? Or you don't want to play at all? Was it because your Mom and Dad weren't there?"

"I don't want to play at all."

"Then why stay on the team?"

"Daddy likes soccer" she says sadly. _Oh Dear_. "He wants to play soccer all the time, even when it's cold outside."

"Honey, I don't think your Daddy would want you to play soccer if he knew you didn't like it" I try to explain to her. Ethan's a good guy. I know he wouldn't be that kind of parent.

"He'd be mad at me" she says sadly before putting her fork down. "I'm full."

"Okay, you don't have to finish" I say to her as I push her plate away from her slightly. "Sweetie, he won't be mad at you. You're selflessly putting his happiness ahead of yours. And while that's noble, it's not necessary."

"I just want to dance" she says frustratingly. "I wish I could just quit soccer and do more dancing."

"Well, maybe you can. But you need to tell your Mom and Dad how you feel. Tell you what" I say as I take her hand. "I will be there with you when you tell them. That way you are sure to have someone in your corner."

She nods and looks down. "You promise he won't be mad? Or sad?"

I smile sweetly at her. "He won't be mad. And as far as being sad, he'll get over it. He still has Christopher and Sophie in soccer. And we know that Christopher likes soccer."

"He likes that he can run around and kick something without getting in trouble." We both giggle at that, and for the first time today I see my niece's beautiful smile. This has probably been weighing on her all day. I reach over and rub her back.

"Do you feel better now?"

"I do. You're a great listener Aunt Ana." That just melts my heart and I can feel the tears coming. I am able to suppress them when I see my husband and nephew walk calmly back into the room. Christian lifts Christopher back onto his stool and stands next to him for a moment.

"I'm sorry Aunt Ana" he says to me.

"For?" Christian adds, using his soft tone.

"For throwing a tantrum and spilling your drink."

I reach over and run my hand through his blond hair. "It's okay. I forgive you. Will you sit nicely until we are all finished?"

"Yes" he says and turns around in his seat. Christian looks proud and relieved as he takes his seat again between the little ones.

"Daddy, I'm all done" Natalie says. Her plate is empty.

"I done too" Sophie adds as she puts her fingers in her mouth. She has one chicken nugget left on her plate.

"Almost, you need to finish that last nugget and then we will all get cleaned up."

Sophie thinks it over for a moment. I look back and forth between my husband and my niece, hoping that another incident doesn't occur. Christian would make our kids finish the last nugget, so it wouldn't be any different with our niece. I'm grateful when she picks up the nugget, only to be in suspense again when she looks at Christian and holds it near her mouth. Oh, she is testing him. Christian waits patiently to see what she does, and I'm grateful when she decides to eat the nugget. She laughs before she eats it, knowing that she was teasing her Uncle. Christian can't help but let out a chuckle as well. He looks over at Liz's plate.

"Elizabeth, did you have enough to eat?" he asks her and she nods. He doesn't give her a hard time about not finishing. There are only a few bites left and it was her second helping of lasagna.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

After dinner we allow the kids to play for a bit while we do the dishes. I wash and Ana dries. I've been trying to help Ana as much as possible on the weekends while Gail and Penny are off duty. We've talked about either having Penny work Saturdays or Sundays, or hiring someone to be here the whole weekend to help with the housekeeping. It will definitely come in handy when the twins come. Ana likes doing the housework on the weekends. She feels like she is contributing to our family since we have Gail and Penny do everything for us during the week. Just like Grey Publishing, this will be something she'll have a hard time letting go of. But I think it's necessary, so I won't stop pressing her about it.

"Baby, as much fun as it is to play house with you, I really think we should consider bringing somebody in for the weekends."

"Christian" she says frustratingly.

"Here me out, okay? You can still do the cooking. I know how much you love doing that. But the other stuff is going to become more difficult as we get further into this pregnancy, and when the twins come. You are going to need your rest and we both will be spending a lot of time taking care of the babies."

I can tell Ana is thinking about this. She isn't looking at me. Instead she is looking down at the towel as she slowly dries one of the plates.

"Ana, did you hear me?"

She nods, and I can tell that she's upset. I shut the water off and dry my hands on another towel. I then take the plate out of her hand, dry the plate and then her hands. She still doesn't say anything. I gently take her hands in mine and kiss them before I lead her over to the breakfast bar. I help her sit on the stool and stand in front of her.

"Ana, what's wrong?"

She can no longer hold it in. She starts to cry. She brings her hand up and catches her tears with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I don't know" she says. "I don't know why I'm crying. I just… I don't know."

"Ana its okay."

"No it's not. What is wrong with me?"

"Anastasia" I say to her as I cup her face with my hands. "There is nothing wrong with you."

"Then why am I crying all the time?"

I lean in and kiss the spot between her eyes. I keep my lips there and feel her closing her eyes. Her body starts to relax. "You are pregnant and it's making you emotional" I say to her softly. "I know we're making more decisions now and making some big changes, but I promise you, these changes are only going to be good for our family."

She nods and brings her hands up to cover mine, which are still cupping her face. She takes my right hand and kisses it. "I know, I know you're right" she says through some more tears. "I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be. I'm here to pick you up anytime you fall" I say to her with a smile, and I get one in return. I lean down and kiss her lips for a moment. "Now, I think I should finish the dishes while you sit here and relax."

"Christian, I'm okay. I can help" she says as she starts to climb off of the stool, but I block her attempts.

"No, sit. You'll need your energy for bath and bed time." With that she leans back in the stool and allows me to finish the dishes on my own.

When I finish I turn to see my daughter walk into the kitchen. She looks so beautiful in her white and light pink sundress. Her hair is down with soft curls at the ends. Her makeup and jewelry are simple and elegant. "You look beautiful Peanut" I say to her as I walk over to her and kiss her cheek.

"Thanks Daddy. And thanks for letting me go out tonight."

"You're welcome. Now, you can ride with Trevor but Dovis is going to follow. You are not to elude him. Promise me."

"I promise. I'll actually feel better with him close by."

The press has calmed down since the school shooting, but Phoebe still feels jittery about going out, especially without Ana and me. Flynn insists that it is best to get her to go out and do the things that she likes to do, so Ana and I encourage it whenever she asks.

"Have a good time tonight, Baby" I say to her as I give her a hug. She returns the hug and pulls away when Dovis announces that Trevor has arrived. I put my arm around Ana as we watch our daughter leave the room.

"She's come a long way" Ana says.

"That she has. I'm proud of her." I smile at my wife, and she manages to smile back.

"I know you are. I am too. And I am especially proud of how you've been with her." She climbs off the stool and wraps her arms around my neck. I put my hands on her hips and look into her gorgeous blue eyes. "This summer was so difficult, seeing you too so far from the close bond that you once had. But you got it back. You two have also come a long way."

I nod. "We have. I'm so grateful for that. I was afraid that I'd lost that forever. And then the shooting….." I pause and I start to become emotional. The shooting was weeks ago, but it still gets to me every time I think about how I could have lost my daughter. Ana knows what I'm thinking and she holds me tighter. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her shoulder.

"You're an amazing husband, and an amazing father. We are so lucky to have you Christian."

I pull out of our embrace and look down at her. "I'm the lucky one." I lean down and kiss her, longer this time. When we pull apart we lean our foreheads against each other.

"Come on, amazing husband. We have four kids to get bathed and put to bed."

I look up and sigh. "We've got our work cut out for us.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

So far the task of getting the baths done hasn't been all that bad. Natalie went first and Christian got her done pretty quickly. She is sitting on the floor in her bedroom playing with her dolls while Elizabeth and Sophie are taking a bath in her bathtub. Sophie behaves better in the bath when Elizabeth is in there with her, so Elizabeth has happily put on her bathing suit bottoms to join her sister. She will take them off and wash herself after we take Sophie out and give her privacy, but she needs help washing her hair. I'm sitting on the toilet watching them play while Christian is bathing Christopher in another bathroom. He insists that I don't help with the baths since it requires me to kneel or lean. I think he's being overprotective, but I choose my battles with him. I like watching him with the kids so I don't mind.

When he comes into the bedroom he leaves Christopher to play with Natalie and comes into the bathroom. He kisses my forehead and then kneels at the tub to bathe Sophie. She cooperates with him and doesn't fuss. I'm sure having toys helps keep her distracted. She lets out a big yawn and suddenly her eyes are heavy. I'm sure she's exhausted. She didn't take a nap today. Mia said not to worry if we can't get her to nap since it's become common for her to skip them.

When Christian finishes with Sophie he washes Liz's hair for her. She has long beautiful blond hair so it takes some time to shampoo and condition it. She's used to it and she doesn't fuss as he scrubs and rinses. After he's done, he lifts Sophie out of the tub, gets her dried off and we leave Liz to finish up.

We decide to read to the kids together in Natalie's room. We have Liz read one of the books as well since she needs to practice. I think it's great that Ethan and Mia have her read to Christopher and Sophie. She does very well with that and they listen to her. When Natalie starts to close her eyes, we decide it's time to get the other kids to their beds. We tuck Natalie in, kiss her good night and leave her to sleep.

Christian carries Sophie since she is practically asleep as well. We tuck her and Liz in the same bed in one of the guest rooms and Sophie has no problem falling asleep. "Can I have some water?" Liz asks in a whisper. Christian leaves the room and comes back with one of the small bottled waters that we keep in the mini fridge in our bedroom. "Thank you" she says sweetly.

"You're welcome. Good night." Christian and I both kiss her goodnight and leave the room.

Next we need to tuck in the little monster that is our nephew. I know he will be the challenge. He often tests Mia and Ethan at bedtime and it takes them time to get him settled. We quietly tuck him into bed in another guest room and keep our voices low and calm. He seems to be tired too. Hopefully that's a good sign. I sit on the bed and rub his tummy, coaxing him to close his eyes.

"When's Mommy coming back?" he asks me sadly.

"She'll be back tomorrow afternoon" I tell him quietly. "Mommy and Daddy love you very much and they can't wait to see you tomorrow. I want to be able to tell them that you've been a good boy, so I'm going to need your help with that." He nods and looks at me to let me know he is listening. "I need you to stay in bed and go to sleep. We'll come and get you in the morning, just like we did this morning. Okay?"

"Okay" he says before he lets out a big yawn."

"Good boy" I say to him as I continue to rub his tummy over the blanket. "Good night, buddy. Sleep well."

"Good night Aunt Ana" he says sleepily before he closes his eyes. I sit with him for a moment and watch him as he drifts off. I feel like I need to know he's asleep before I leave him. I used to sit with Teddy like this, until Christian had to drag me away.

Suddenly I feel like history is repeating itself as I feel my husband's hand on my arm. "Come, Mrs Grey. You need some quality time with your husband."

I smile giddily at him. I love our Christian and Ana time. I allow him to help me up and guide me out of the room. Once we are in the lit hallway he pulls me to him. "Well done, Mrs Grey."

"You didn't do so bad yourself. You were great with them." I see him brush off my complimenting words with his facial expression. "You were. Come on, those kids could have walked all over us, but they didn't. You weren't afraid to be stern with them and you took really good care of them. You really are amazing Christian. When are you ever going to accept that?"

"Aunt Ana" we hear our nephew's voice calling for me.

Christian has me wait in the hall as he tends to our nephew. I stand close to the door so that I can listen. Christian talks to him softly and explains that he needs to go to sleep now. Christopher challenges him with questions and I can't help but giggle at their exchange. Christian is being so patient. _'Why are there stars in the sky? Where does the sun go when it sets? Why does Sophie fart a lot? Does chocolate milk come from chocolate cows? Why does my finger turn red when I wrap a string around it?'_

A few minutes later, Christian joins me in the hall and closes the door. "Are you laughing at me, Mrs Grey? Again?"

"Come here" I giggle as I pull him into my arms. "Do you believe me now when I say you are great?"

"I can hold my own" he says as he pulls out of our embrace and kisses me. "Come, we need to set up their monitors, and after we know they are out for the count, we can play while we wait for Phoebe's curfew."

"I see, so we need to schedule our play time" I tease him.

"For at least the next twenty years, Mommy." He takes me in his arms again and rubs his hand over my ever growing belly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

_**Thank you for reading and for all of the support. I apologize that it took me so long for this update. June is dance recital month for me, which means extra rehearsal time and extra work hours to make up for my time away from work. I tried to make this chapter extra long and I hope you liked it. Happy Reading! **_


	39. Fifty Turning Eighteen

_**Here's a nice long chapter. I'm so sorry for the long break in between. I was on vacation and it was difficult to find time to write. I'm back now and I hope you like the extended chapter. Your reviews are definitely appreciated and I'm so humbled by them. I like writing this story, and it is even better knowing that someone is reading it and enjoying it. Thank you so much and Happy Reading!**_

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Christian's POV

It's Friday evening and I am at the gym with Ethan. We've started working out together a few weeks ago. Normally, Friday nights are reserved for family time. I work hard at GEH all week and look forward to just being home with Ana and our kids, but tonight I'd asked Ethan to join me for a workout. My little girl is turning eighteen tomorrow. Eighteen! I'm just not fucking ready for that to happen. I've been doing my best to hide my fears and frustrations from her. She's excited for her birthday and the last thing I want is to take that away from her. Tomorrow is her day I am going to do everything I can to make sure she enjoys it. Hopefully after kicking my ass with an intense work out I can sort myself out and enjoy it with her.

Right now I am benching and Ethan is spotting me. He takes this opportunity to ask me about last weekend.

"Now that it's just the two of us, do you mind telling me how my kids really behaved last weekend?"

I let out a few grunts as I press the bar up a few times. He helps me guide it back to the rack when I finish. I remain in the lying position since I plan to go another round. After a few breaths I am able to answer him. "What the fuck, Kavanagh? It's like we said last week, the kids were fine." I lift my hands to go again, and he spots me as I bring the bar off of the rack. As I bench he continues his questioning.

"You mean to tell me there were no incidents? Other than Lizzie not wanting to play soccer? No tantrums, no back talking, no disobedience?"

I let out another grunt as I finish and lift the bar back onto the rack with his assistance. This time I sit up and towel the sweat off my forehead. "Ethan…. Ana and I looked after your kids last weekend and everything was fine. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because I know my kids. I find it hard to believe they were perfect angels for more than two seconds. I need to know any time they've misbehaved."

"What good would it do? I tell you about any and all incidents and you, what, punish them for it a week later?"

"Ahh, so there were incidents" he catches me.

"I didn't say that" I say as I stand and motion for him to take a seat on the bench. He lies back and I spot him as he lifts the bar.

"My kids aren't saints. Mia and I….. did warn them to be on their best behavior… but I refuse to believe they didn't….. slip up." He grunts out the last two words and I spot him as he lifts the bar back onto the rack. He sits up and I sit on a bench next to him. "So let's have it."

"You really want details?"

"Yes, I want details" he nods. He's being very controlling about this. I guess Ethan and I have more in common than I thought.

"Okay. Well, Christopher took Sophia's doll from her and made her cry. Ana and I put a stop to it and he was in time out. Sophia slapped a girl in dance class, and then she wet herself at the soccer game. She had a meltdown when I tried to convince her to wear a pull up until we were back home and closer to a toilet…. and then at dinner Christopher put up a fuss when I told him he needed to sit and wait for everyone to finish their dinner, so he found himself in time out again."

"And?"

"And what?"

"You mean to tell me that's it? Grey that's nothing." Hmmm, I guess my sister and brother-in-law have to put up with much more antics than what we've seen last weekend.

"Yes, Kavanagh, that's it. But did I mention I was carrying Sophia when she wet herself?"

He starts laughing. _Fucking Kavanagh_. "She peed on you? I'm sorry."

"Laugh it up" I tell him and start to stand. "Time for boxing."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

I am in my bedroom with Ava and we are indulging in all of our favorite girly stuff. Pedicures, manicures, facials, and of course some unhealthy snacks and a marathon of some of our favorite chick flicks. Right now we are watching the Hot Chick, and next we will watch Mean Girls.

Ava has been off crutches for a few days now, but the bad memories are still there. Some of our classmates were killed a few weeks ago when Rachel came to our school with a gun, and Ava knew some of the girls from cheerleading. She and Nathan went to their funerals. I still can't believe that happened to us, to our school. Every once in a while it will come up on some of the news shows. Some of the parents have been interviewed. They lost their child, and the media wants to hear from them. I wish they would just let them be.

We haven't been back to school yet. I know the media is talking about the decisions that are being made about it. My Dad has been trying to block me from everything, but I still hear things. I read some things online. Ava, Nathan and Trevor also talk about it sometimes when we hang out together. I'm not sure if they are going to renovate some parts of the school, or knock it down and rebuild. I don't think that I could go back into that building after what happened, so I'm all for rebuilding. Of course, that will probably take a long time and I would graduate by the time its ready.

We are still on our fast paced home school program. Even though we are not in school, sports and most activities are going strong. Trevor even thinks that our boys' varsity soccer team will make the playoffs. Nathan has started training for varsity basketball, and I think Ava will be able to do cheerleading. Speaking of which, she hasn't really mentioned it. She's off crutches so I'm assuming she'll be ready when it's time. I guess we'll see. Me, I haven't been involved in school sports or activities. Dance and volunteering keep me busy. That, and the overwhelming home school work that they give us.

I love when Ava sleeps over. She always sleeps over the night before my birthday, even if it is a school night. Our parents have always made the exception since we've gone to the same school and Dad would make sure we were in bed and asleep on time. But I've never spent the night at her house while we were growing up. I was always afraid of being away from my parents overnight. I've started conquering that fear this year, and I would have slept over around her birthday, but I was grounded.

"I like this color" I tell her as she paints a pretty shade of pink on my fingernails.

"Good, because I'm not starting over. Relax your wrist" she orders as she continues. She is being so careful and precise, making sure not to paint any on the sides or fronts of my nails. She is very good at this. When she finishes she blows softly to dry. "Keep still, just like that for twenty minutes" she orders again. Yes, my cousin is very bossy, but I don't mind.

"Thanks Ava, you're really good at this."

"Aunt Mia taught me a few things while we had some downtime at the store. You should come and work there too."

I shake my head and smile. "Nah, fashion really isn't my thing. It's more for you and Aunt Mia."

"And volunteering is your thing?" she asks me with a disgusted look.

"It really isn't that bad" I tell her. "I know you hear volunteering and you immediately think bed pans and vomit and dirty hospital gowns and towels, but it's more than that. The patients are real people and they need our help. I'm learning a lot and I'm really thinking about going into medicine."

"That's cool. I'm sure Grandma is excited about that."

I giggle. "Yeah, she's happy that I'm volunteering, but she doesn't know that I plan to go to medical school."

"You didn't tell her?" she asks as she looks up from my toes.

"No, I'm going to wait on that one. I don't want to get her hopes up in case I change my mind. I told Dad though."

"How did he react?"

"Proud. It was during a time when things weren't going so well between us. It was something positive in a really crappy time."

"Yeah, I know what that's like" she says as she finishes my toes. They look fabulous. "Don't move them" she scolds, which makes me freeze in my spot. "God, painting your nails is like painting Sophie's."

I giggle again. I'm turning eighteen tomorrow but I still feel so young. After my nails dry and the warden allows me to move, I shift on the bed so that I can paint her nails. I take my time and try to do a good job with hers. I have a few slip ups so the Q-tips come in handy. Ava is so good at this stuff, I'm certain she will remove the nail polish by tomorrow and redo the nails herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm not doing a very good job here."

"You're doing fine, Grey. Don't be so hard on yourself." I try to focus and continue with the second coat. As soon as I'm finished I look up at her nervously. "Stop it, they look great. I'll just touch up the sides a little and let them dry."

I start to paint her toenails the same shade of navy blue and find that I'm doing a better job. Maybe I just needed to warm up. It's not every day that I paint nails. Ava paints hers all the time. And she's started to paint Sophie's.

"I really should try to get better at this so that I can do this for Natalie" I tell her. Natalie is going to be three in a few months and she'll probably want me or Mom to paint her nails for her. Right now she's still breaking the habit of putting her fingers in her mouth so we should probably hold off for a while.

"Sophie is _all_ girl" she tells me with a laugh. "She sees what Aunt Mia and I do and she wants to copy us. I love it when Aunt Mia brings her into the store. She is such a mini-Mia."

"She and Natalie are so cute together" I add. "Mom is so happy that they will grow up together. She hopes they will be close like you and me."

"We're close?" she asks me sarcastically.

"Shut up" I say as I throw the nail buffer at her."

"I'm learning a lot from Aunt Mia" she says as she lets her nails dry. "I'm going to study fashion and design. I'm so glad she moved here. Our Moms are great but I feel like Aunt Mia gets us, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I forget she is the same age as our Moms. She acts their age around them, but then when she's with us I feel like she's our age. Let's hope people our age don't have a seven year old. And a five and three year old." I look up and notice that Ava doesn't look well all of a sudden. "Hey, are you alright?" She darts into the bathroom and shuts the door, but I can hear her vomiting. I get up and slowly walk over to the door. When I hear that she's no longer vomiting, I lightly knock. "Hey, Ava, are you alight? Do you want me to come in?"

"I'm okay" I hear her say, but she doesn't invite me in.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

As we spar, the Kavanagh inquisition starts again. I've never had a younger brother, but if I did I guess this is what it'd be like. The constant questioning is an annoying Kavanagh trait, but the teasing and harmless banter definitely fits in with a Grey sibling dynamic. That, and having no qualms about kicking each other's asses in the ring. I get a few good shots in, as does he. This is just what I need to tackle my anxiety about Phoebe turning eighteen. I swear it was nothing like this when Teddy turned eighteen. I was ready for that, and so was he. Phoebe, on the other hand is my little girl. She is smart and capable, but she doesn't have the same level of maturity that Teddy had at that age. Her sensitivity, often bad judgment and decisions make her vulnerable to the bad things that can happen in life. I want to protect her from that, but it will be more difficult when she's legally not a child anymore.

Ethan throws a punch and I dodge it as he spits out his next question. "So, did you do it? Did you get her a car?"

"I am not going to answer that question" I say as I throw a punch his way for him to block.

"So that means you did" he says and comes at me again. I block him and throw my own punch which makes contact with his stomach.

"Ana and I got her a special gift, but nobody will know what it is until Phoebe does."

"So when do you plan to give her the car?" he asks again. I go at him again but I miss.

"Enough about the car. We didn't get her a fucking car" I say as we end our session and start to take off our gloves.

"Yeah right. Come on, you expect me to believe that you would buy a car for your son and not your daughter?"

"Teddy had his driver's license at seventeen. Phoebe showed no interest in getting her license" I say but I'm not looking at him this time. I was actually relieved when Phoebe decided she didn't want her license. _Sawyer drives me everywhere, why would I need a driver's license? _I remember her asking me. I just let it go last year. No sense in changing her mind about something I wasn't ready for her to have in the first place.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

Ava is lying in bed and I am sitting up next to her. We have been sitting in silence and watching Mean Girls. We haven't said more than two words since she got sick in my bathroom a half hour ago. I offered to get my mother but she said she wanted to lie down. We're at one of the scenes where Rachel McAdams' character is complaining about being fat. I let out a giggle and look over at Ava. She has tears in her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing" she says as she roughly wipes the tears away. Of course I don't believe her. I have the remote control in my hand and I press the pause button. "Grey, put the movie back on."

"Not until you tell me what's up."

"Nothing's up" she says in a frustrated tone. "I'm fine, now will you put the damn movie back on?"

I make a face and do as she asks. I don't want to pick a fight with my cousin, but I'm worried about her. I also want to ask her about something that's been on my mind, something so personal and embarrassing, but now might not be the best time. She's in a mood, and she probably won't be able to give me her best advice in her state.

After some more silence and movie watching, she speaks up. "Your brain is too loud. What are you tossing around in there?"

Her question takes me by surprise, but it shouldn't. Ava knows me well. She knows when I am brooding even when she's not looking right at me. Maybe if I tell her what's bothering me, she will reciprocate.

"Ava I need to ask you something."

"What is it?"

I take a breath in and let it out heavily. It's now or never. "Do you think there's something wrong with me, you know, for not doing it with Trevor?"

"Doing it?"

"Sex, Ava" I say, irritated. She smiles and snorts at my response.

"I know what you meant. I just wanted you to say it out loud." She can be a real beach sometimes. "You can be a real beach sometimes."

"Yes, I know. But I'm trying to help you. You need to get out of your head and not be so embarrassed about sex."

"I don't know how to do that" I say sheepishly. The topic of sex does embarrass me.

"Sex embarrasses most people. It's personal and intimate and should only be discussed with people you trust. Have you and Trevor talked about it?"

"No, we haven't" I say. I start to feel shame. "I mean, I should be at that point with him now, shouldn't I?"

"You and Trevor have been together for eight months. But I don't think there's a rule that you _have_ to have sex with your boyfriend after a certain amount of time. Especially at our age."

"What about you and Nathan?" She goes quiet, and I start to regret asking her about it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't…."

"No, that's okay. Nathan and I both wanted it and we did talk about it first. He knew he was my first and he was so wonderful about it. But just because it worked for us does not mean that it will work for everyone. I don't think there's anything wrong with you waiting."

"What if I make him wait too long?" I ask her, worry clear in my voice. "What if he gets tired of waiting for me?"

"I don't see that happening" she says as she looks up at me. The tears have disappeared from her face. You would never know she'd just been crying. "You and Trevor are good together. I see how he looks at you. He respects you. He's shown you that he's not just in it for sex and I think your relationship is stronger for that. Don't be in a hurry to have sex. You'll regret it if you're not ready."

"And when I am ready, any advice?" I feel silly for asking, but might as well since we are already talking about it.

"Talk to him about it first. Talk about contraception and anything you don't want him to do. Oh, and get a Brazilian wax. He'll appreciate that."

"Wax?" Ouch, that sounds too painful. I cringe at the thought of having my most sensitive area waxed.

"Or shave, but waxing lasts longer. I'll go with you if you want."

"You've done it?"

She looks up at me again and nods. "Yes. I won't lie to you, it's painful, especially the front. But it's worth it to not have to shave down there for a few weeks."

I continue to cringe. Waxing? Why do women put themselves through that?

"Anything else?" I ask her nervously.

"Yes, don't be discouraged if your first time isn't all that spectacular. You need to do it a few times before it starts to feel good and natural. You know, get to know each other's bodies and what you both like."

"So it _does_ hurt."

She snorts again. "Yes, but don't let that scare you. It's worth it, trust me."

I cringe again. I don't do well with pain. I'm starting to believe the notion that sex is more for the guy than it is for the girl.

"Okay, Grey" I say as I reposition myself on the bed. "Your turn. What's eating you?"

She shrugs her shoulders and keeps her eyes on the movie. "There's nothing eating me. I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me."

"Do you get sick like that often?"

"No, I don't. Only when I eat certain foods that I haven't eaten in a while. I promise, I'm fine."

I still don't believe her, but I decide to let it go anyway.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

It's Saturday morning, and I am up early making breakfast for my family. Christian agreed to get Natalie up so that I could get a head start on making breakfast and having it ready before the girls get up. Its Phoebe's birthday, and we like to do breakfast in bed when the kids have a birthday. We started the tradition when Teddy turned ten and we felt the kids were old enough to appreciate it and not make a huge mess in their beds.

Speaking of Teddy, he is flying in today to be here for Phoebe's birthday party. We haven't seen him for seven weeks. I miss him so much, I can't wait to wrap my arms around him and just hold him. He's twenty but he will always be my baby boy.

I can't believe my little girl is eighteen today. It feels like just yesterday we were teaching her to walk, teaching her to use the toilet, teaching her to eat with a fork, teaching her how to read and write, washing and combing through her long beautiful but tangled hair. Time goes by so fast. I look down and rub my hand over my growing belly. We get to do it all over again with these babies, but that doesn't replace our memories with our other three children. Every moment with them is so special and I can't help but tear up at the thought of them growing up so fast. Christian walks into the kitchen with Natalie in his arms and catches me.

"You doing okay, Baby?" he asks me gently. He's been so good about catering to my pregnancy hormones and emotional outbursts. I cry at the drop of a hat. He puts Natalie in her booster seat and is by my side instantly. I wipe away my tears as he wraps his arms around me and my pregnancy belly from behind. I feel a gentle kiss on my shoulder and I release a giggle. "I love that sound" he says in his husky voice. I feel something poke into my lower back as he plants more kisses on my shoulder and neck. "Good morning, Mrs Grey."

"A good morning in deed" I agree with him as his erection continues to poke me. I pull away from him and turn so that I can face him. I wrap my hands around his neck and kiss his lips. His lips part and allow my tongue to enter his mouth. Our tongues dance until we are interrupted by yet another special moment. I pull my tongue out of his mouth and smile. I know he felt it too since my pregnancy belly is pressed up against him. "Our babies want to say good morning too, Daddy."

His hands move so that they are on my pregnancy belly. I place one hand there as well as we feel one or both babies kick. I'm not sure, but I'm happy either way. Our babies are in there and they are saying hello. I can't help but tear up again.

"Don't cry, Mommy" he says softly when he notices my tears. "You are giving us a warm, safe and comfortable home until we are ready to come into this world. You are eating right, getting plenty of sleep and doing everything Daddy tells you" he goes on to say. I can't help but giggle again. My husband knows just how to handle me, and at this point I don't mind being handled by this man. As long as it's done with love and respect.

I bring my hand up and place it gently on the side of his face. "Thank you"

"You're welcome, Baby" he says and then kisses me. He goes about getting cheerios and juice for Natalie since breakfast isn't ready yet. I'm making pancakes, bacon, eggs and toast. Once Natalie is settled he kisses her head and makes his way over to me again. "Can I help?"

"Sure. The pancakes are almost ready. Could you butter the toast?" He happily starts the task of buttering the toast. Since all of us like toast I have made ten pieces and set them aside on the warmer while the rest of the food cooks. Once the food is ready, Christian helps me pack it all up so that we can carry it upstairs. He only lets me carry one plate with a pancake that we put a lit candle in, while he carries everything else. We have Natalie walk up the steps ahead of us and we tell her to knock on Phoebe's door. When she allows us to go in, I open the door and we start singing "Happy Birthday" to her. She and Ava sit up in bed and Phoebe has a big smile on her face. This isn't a surprise since we do this every year, but I can see that she appreciates it all the same.

"Make a wish" Christian tells her. She thinks about it for a moment and then blows out the candle. We clap and cheer as we wish her a happy birthday. Christian sets the food down and is by her side instantly, giving her a hug and kiss which she happily accepts. I'm next, but I need to sit on her bed in order to hug her. Natalie is next to me and she is jumping up and down. Christian lifts her onto the bed and she gives Phoebe a big hug. She giggles when Phoebe squeezes her and twists side to side. The girls place her between them in the bed as Christian and I serve the breakfast. I pour orange juice for all of us as Christian puts food on each plate. We only give Natalie a pancake to start with so that we can control a mess in Phoebe's bed. Ava usually eats everything, but today she only opts for the toast and bacon. Phoebe happily accepts some of everything, which of course makes her father happy. We sit and enjoy breakfast together on Phoebe's bed, and I am so happy at this moment. I wish Teddy were already here to enjoy this. He had originally planned to fly in yesterday, but had to change his plans and fly in today. I didn't question it, figured it wasn't any of my business. Christian wasn't too happy about the change but I'd managed to shift his focus to me and planning today's party.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

My parents went all out for my birthday party. I didn't expect this many people to be here. They have invited friends of mine from school and their families, and also the guys and girls on my dance team and their families. Miss Alana, Miss Jenna and Mr Jade are also here with their spouses. Most of Dad's security is here with their spouses, including Sawyer, Brooke and their son Lucas. Trevor's family is here, which really means a lot to me because our families never do anything together. I found out that my father contacted Trevor's parents a few weeks ago and arranged for him and my mother to have dinner with them. They didn't tell me because they wanted to surprise me with having them here. Trevor knew they were coming but kept that a secret from me. _Jerk_, but sweet jerk.

Teddy arrived a few hours ago, so I got to spend some time with him. He didn't bring Rebecca with him, which I thought was strange. When I asked him about it he simply said it wasn't a good weekend for her to travel, and then he changed the subject. That's Grey code for something's up and he's not talking. But I didn't press him about it. The last thing I want to do this weekend is fight with my brother when I rarely get to see him. I've missed him. We email, text and skype every once in a while, but it's not the same as having him here.

Trevor arrived before the guests because he wanted to give me my birthday present early. He gave me a necklace with matching earrings. They each have my pink birthstone. They are so beautiful. I quickly removed my jewelry so that I could put them on. He helped me with the necklace, and his gentle touch on my neck and shoulders sent shivers up my spine. I think he knew because he stopped and wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my hair. I feel so comfortable with him, but I'm still not sure I'm ready for sex. It's frustrating. Surely it is frustrating for him. Maybe I should talk to him about it, like Ava said. The thought of it all is just making me anxious. I don't know what's gotten into me. Things with Trevor have been comfortable, safe. Maybe that's what it is. It's too safe. Maybe it's the anticipation of Mom having twins. Or maybe it's turning eighteen. I don't feel any different. Eighteen is just a number after all. I can vote, and I'm legally an adult. But what exactly does this mean? I'll still live at home and I'll still live under Mom and Dad's rules. Those rules don't include having or abstaining from sex. Dad once said he wasn't going to forbid it or put a minimum age requirement on it. He said he trusted me to wait until I was ready and with the person I should be with. That doesn't sound like Dad, but he said it, and I think it means more to me now than it did a few years ago when we talked about it. A few years ago, I just wanted him to stop talking about it. Sex was not something that was on my mind back then, but it is now, and it terrifies me. I'm not scared of Trevor, but I'm scared to have sex. I'm scared of not doing it right. I'm scared of how I'll feel after. I'm scared I'll regret it and I'm scared of what it will do to our relationship. Trevor takes my hand and interrupts my thoughts.

"Hey birthday girl, you okay?"

I nod and offer a smile. "I'm fine. I'm just overwhelmed by all this." Okay, so I'm kind of lying to my boyfriend. Only because this isn't the time or place to discuss what is really bothering me. "I didn't expect all of these people to be here."

"They're here for you" he tells me and then kisses my cheek. "Your Dad was determined to make this birthday special for you. Just enjoy it."

I nod and take a look around. There are so many people here, yet I know all of them. These people have one thing in common, _me_, and that is a lot to handle. I never liked being the center of attention, so I'm grateful to have Trevor by my side, holding my hand as we mingle with everyone. We talk with some of the girls from my dance team and their boyfriends. I have only met a few of their boyfriends since they come and go with some of the girls, but the ones that have been around for longer than a few weeks have gone to competitions and dance shows with us. Trevor has been to a few so he knows most of the guys.

Next we spend some time with my aunts, uncles and cousins in our enclosed patio. We have chilly nights in October but Dad likes to use the patio when we have parties. There are caterers walking around with appetizers and drinks. This blows me away. This is such an adult party, and it's for me. I'm not old enough to drink of course, but that doesn't bother me. I'm not sure I'd drink even when I'm twenty one. We'll see.

One of the caterers announces that food is served, so Trevor takes my hand and we walk into the dining room where a huge buffet is set up with all of my favorite foods. Spaghetti Primavera, Chicken Marsala, Chicken Parmigiana, String Bean Casserole, Potato Casserole, Penne Vodka, Stuffed Chicken with gravy and stuffing, different kinds of salads and different kinds of vegetables. I try to sample a small portion of everything.

After we eat we spend some time with our friends from school. I take note of how some of the boyfriends interact with their girlfriends, and I start to feel anxious again. What is wrong with me? Why is this happening today? I'm supposed to be enjoying myself. It's my birthday, and everyone I care about is in my house. Trevor notices my discomfort and excuses us. He takes my hand and leads me into the foyer and up the steps. My mind is running a mile a minute and before I know it we are in my bedroom. He leads me in, switches the lights on and shuts the door. My anticipation and anxiety are so high right now I am finding it hard to breathe.

"Let's sit down" he says gently. I sit and stare ahead, the wheels are still spinning in my head.

"Why did you bring me up here?" I ask him.

"I thought you could use a break" he says. He is so calm and collected, while I'm a ball of anxiety. I start to feel his hand on my back and it startles me. I flinch and he pulls his hand back. "What's wrong Phoebe?"

I start to feel hot. It's still hard to breathe. I stand and start to pace. I'm not really sure what to do with myself but I know I can't keep still. Otherwise I just might break. He stands and positions himself in front of me so that I have to stop. He gently places his hands on my arms above my elbows and looks into my eyes. "Look at me" he orders, and I look at his eyes instantly. "Phoebe, relax. You are getting so worked up. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

"How do you know something's bothering me?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Well, you're shaking, you're breathing heavy and you're sweating. And I think I know you well enough now to recognize when you are tossing something around in that head of yours. So talk to me. Let me help."

I start to feel guilty. He is being so sweet. Can I really do this? Can I talk to him about my insecurities and my feelings? "Please, Phoebe."

"Okay" I say while releasing a breath. He takes both of my hands in his and we sit down on my bed. I take a few breaths to calm myself down, and he just sits and waits for me. I nod my head a few times before I start. "Trevor, I really like being your girlfriend. I love spending time with you and I always look forward to it. I like how I feel around you. I still get butterflies when I get ready for our dates, and when you kiss me."

"But…"

"I'm afraid… that I'm making you wait too long… for sex."

I peek at his face and gauge his reaction. He doesn't look surprised. Was he expecting this? He looks down and shakes his head. "Phoebe…"

"I'm sorry" I say as I take one of my hands out of his and place it on my forehead. He reaches up and takes my hand back into his so that he is holding both hands again.

"No, you have nothing to be sorry about. Phoebe, are you still afraid that I'll break up with you if you don't have sex with me?"

I feel the tears coming and I have to work hard to keep them at bay. "Yes." It was nearly a whisper, but I know he heard me because I feel him squeeze my hands slightly. He lets out a sigh, and he sounds frustrated, but he doesn't leave go of my hands.

"Phoebe, one of the things I love about our relationship is that we _haven't_ had sex. I feel like our relationship is stronger for that, and more real. If we have sex before we are ready it would be a huge mistake, and we would only regret it. I've seen so many people break up over sex and that's not going to be us."

I take a moment to let his words sink in. He said _we_. "You said we."

"What?"

"You said…. we. Before _we_ are ready."

He looks down at our hands again and rubs his thumbs along mine. "Yeah. There's a we here. If you aren't ready for something, that means we aren't ready for it. And I will never pressure you, Phoebe. I care about you and I care about our relationship."

I breathe a sigh of relief, but I still feel a bit troubled. "When I see other couples, and how they interact, sometimes I feel jealous of their connection. I can tell they've had sex just by the way they are around each other. And it reminds me of what we don't have yet."

"I don't care about other people. I only care about us. It's not a contest. I don't want to compare us to other people. I just want to be that guy in your life. And when we are both ready for more steps in our relationship, we'll discuss it and we'll make sure it's something we both want."

"You are being so cool about this" I tell him as I lose the battle with my tears. He reaches up and dries them with his thumbs.

"You know I had a girlfriend last year. And you know we had sex. But, I didn't have the relationship with her that I have with you. This means so much more to me, and I won't ruin it. You are my girl and you are the one I want to be with. You are the girl that I am going to take to prom, graduate high school with, struggle through college with, and perhaps propose marriage to someday."

This stops my tears dead in their tracks as I look at him. _Marriage_, he's talking about marriage? I'm someone he can see himself married to? This just blows me away. He is smiling at me, and I can't help but return the smile. "I promise I won't make you wait until marriage" I say as I wipe more tears from my cheeks.

He reaches up and dries some of the tears with his thumb. "Well, if you do, I will wait with you. I want our relationship to grow at the same pace as us."

"How did I get so lucky?" I'm still crying but I let out a giggle.

"I think we're both lucky. Phoebe, I want you to feel secure in our relationship. I don't want you to feel pressured by what other people are doing or what you _think_ I want. And I want you to trust me to tell you if I'm unhappy about something, just like I'll trust you to do the same."

"Okay" I say with a nod. "I'm really happy with you, Trevor. I'm just afraid of losing you. I let my insecurities get the best of me."

"I think you just need a reminder sometimes" he says with a smile. He leans in and kisses me. He takes his time as he gently places his hands on my face and head. I reach up and put my hands on his arms as our kiss deepens. Oh yes, I'll take this reminder anytime. He pulls out of the kiss and the butterflies are still there. I slowly open my eyes to see him smiling at me. "I have something else for you."

"Another present?" I shake my head. "Trevor you didn't have to…"

"It's…. not a birthday present" he interrupts me. "I was going to wait and give it to you another time, not on your birthday, but I think I need to give this to you now."

He seems nervous as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. He hands it to me and I hold it for a moment before I open it. When I do, I am shocked by what I see. I almost don't believe it.

"It's a promise ring" he explains to me gently. "My promise to be with you and only you for as long as you'll have me. Will you wear it?"

I hesitate as I take in his words and this gorgeous ring in my hand. He really is serious about us, and waiting until I'm ready. I'm so overwhelmed, yet so relieved and happy at the same time. The tears come again, but this time I don't try to stop them. This boy in my life is so sweet and so caring. He wants _me_, and only me. And he wants me to wear his ring. I realize that I haven't answered him yet. I look up at him and he is looking intently at me. "Yes, I will wear it."

He smiles at me and takes the box from my hand. He takes the ring out, takes my hand and places the ring on my finger. "Thank you" I say to him, because I don't know what else to say. He leans in and kisses me again, this being the longest and most meaningful of any of our kisses.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

We have a huge assortment of mini desserts since our family and friends like a variety of different things. And the women of course like the smaller portions. Before dessert is served, we gather everyone into the dining room to sing to Phoebe. I have her sit at the table in the middle of the room, and Natalie and Sophia immediately rush over to her. They want to sit on her lap. Ethan tries to get Sophia to leave her be, but Phoebe insists she is fine. She pulls both girls into her lap for the birthday song, while Trevor, Teddy, Ana and I stand behind her. We light the candles, shut the lights off and sing to her. She makes another wish and the girls help her blow out the candles. Before we cut the cake, several family and friends take our picture, some with Sophia and some without since she wanted down from Phoebe's lap. Ana and I were also able to get a few pictures taken with Phoebe, and then some with all three of our kids.

Most of our company leaves after dessert, leaving just immediate family for a few of the presents. Mia and Ethan gave her about ten new outfits that Mia designed. Carla and Scott gave her a gift certificate to a local spa that she likes. Kate and Elliot got her two pairs of shoes that she told Ava she wanted. Mom and Dad gave her a ticket to see the Christmas Spectacular in November, which she is very excited about. That was their birthday gift to me, Ana and Teddy as well but we didn't tell Phoebe about it. We wanted her to be surprised when she got the ticket on her birthday. Ana of course won't be able to travel with her pregnancy, so she plans to offer her ticket to Trevor. We're down to the last few presents, which are from me, Ana and Teddy. Ana has her open the first one which is wrapped neatly in a box. When she opens it, she doesn't know what it is at first. But when she opens it, the shock is clear on her face.

"You made an album?" she asks softly.

I am standing behind Ana and I have my arms wrapped around her. Ana nods and I can tell she has tears in her eyes. "I've been working on that album for a few years now, and my plan was to give it to you for your eighteenth birthday." Phoebe flips through the pages, and the surprise is still etched on her face. Ana used many photos starting from the day Phoebe was born. She included notes and phrases so that she could remember things and tell Phoebe about the photos.

"This is so beautiful. Thank you" she says as she stands and wraps her arms around Ana. They embrace for some time before I suggest to Phoebe to look through more photos later and open her next present. She happily agrees and opens the next present, which is from both me and Ana. It is a picture of something that she'll need to go outside to see. She looks up at me and has a funny face. "You got me a scooter?"

I laugh and have her follow me outside. She doesn't look amused. I start to second guess our gift to her, but it's too late now. We make our way outside and over to the garage with our family closely behind. When we reach the garage, I pull the tarp away to reveal her present, a brand new four door silver Audi. She gasps and covers her mouth with both hands, while the rest of the family claps and cheers. Trevor comes up behind her and puts his hands on her shoulders. Phoebe clearly was not expecting this, and I don't know if I should take her shock as a good thing or a bad thing.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

They got me a car. A freakin car! I don't know what to say. I didn't want this, never showed any interest in this, but they got me a car anyway. I am feeling so many things right now, but unfortunately happy isn't one of them. I feel Trevor's hands on my shoulders and I welcome the touch. Trevor knows how I feel about driving. I have absolutely no interest. I don't understand why my Mom and Dad got me a car.

Dad walks over to me and I can sense the disappointment already. What am I supposed to say? I don't want to hurt him. Not again. And I don't want to lie and say that I like the car. The tears start to threaten again and I have a hard time stopping them. Dad sees this and wraps his arms around me tightly. I hesitate before I hug him back. "I'm sorry" he whispers to me. "Please don't be upset."

I pull out of the hug once I'm calm, and I notice that the rest of the family has left with the exception of me, Mom, Dad and Teddy. Even Trevor has left to give us some space. Dad runs his hand through my hair and leaves his hand on the back of my neck. "Phoebe, I know you said you didn't want to drive last year. I guess I thought you would have changed your mind."

I shake my head. "I haven't. I'm sorry, Dad. I just…. I don't even have a driver's license."

"You passed the written test" he explains gently. "And you have your learner's permit. You just need to take a few lessons and then take the driving test." He makes is sound so simple. Maybe it is. Have I been making a big deal out of nothing? "I can teach you if you want. We can drive around parking lots and private roads until you are comfortable with driving."

"Why is this so important?" I ask him. "I thought you'd be ecstatic with me not wanting to drive."

"I was" he says with a smile. "But… Peanut, you're eighteen now. And I don't want you to be afraid to try things. Even driving. I want you to try it, and if you still feel that it isn't something you want to do, then you don't have to."

"And the car?" I ask him

"This is your car, Phoebe. You can do with it what you'd like. You can learn to drive in it, you can keep it around until you are ready to drive it, or you can sell it. But I hope you at least try it. It is one of the safest cars on the road."

I think about Dad's words and I nod. I can't believe he wants me to learn how to drive. I don't even want me to learn how to drive. I don't see the point since security drives me everywhere. If I drive, they would just be following me in a separate car like they do with Teddy.

"Okay, time for my present" Teddy says as he stands next to Dad and hands over his present. I open it and see that it is an iPod deck. "It's for the car" he tells me. "So that you can program your music in advance and listen to it while you're driving." He says the last part while looking at Dad, since Dad was glaring at him. I can't help but giggle softly at their exchange.

"Don't worry, even if I decide to drive, my focus would be on the road at all times" I say to them. Dad runs his hand through my hair again while Mom comes over to me and hugs me from the side.

"That's my girl."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

Ana turns in early after we put Natalie to bed. The house is quiet since our family and friends have left and the last of the caterers had just left a few minutes ago. I walk through the house and find Phoebe sitting on the sofa in the main room. She's looking through the photo album that Ana made for her. I pour myself some wine and join her.

"May I sit?"

She nods and offers a small smile. We look at some photos together in silence before she speaks up. "Dad, thank you for the car."

"You're welcome" I say as I stroke her hair. "I know it wasn't something you were expecting…."

"No" she interrupts me. "It's not, but I think it's a good thing. You were right. I need to try things and stop being afraid."

"I was right?"

"Don't sound so smug. Did you mean what you said? I can take driving lessons?"

I nod and purse my lips. "Yeah, I meant it, but I also meant it when I said that I could teach you."

She nods but she doesn't voice a response. We continue to look at photos together. Phoebe was a beautiful child, still is. I'm reminded of how much she resembles Ana. She always had long brown hair. She has Ana's eyes and nose, and she was always small and thin. Too thin for my liking of course. There are many photos with her and Teddy growing up, many of her and Ana, many of her and me, and then a few with us as a family with Natalie. Ana also included some photos with aunts, uncles and grandparents. There are also many with Ava since they spent a lot of time together. Most of the photos have them making silly faces or playing dress up.

"Where was this one taken?" she asks me. She points to a photo of me holding her on the beach. She was five months old. I didn't even know Ana had taken that photo.

"That was in Malibu. We vacationed there when you were five months old."

"It looks like the sun was setting, or rising."

I nod and smirk. "That was sunrise. You didn't sleep well while we were there." I remember it like it was yesterday. We rented a beachside condo for a few days when Teddy was two and Phoebe was five months old.

_I wake to the sound of my baby girl crying. I'm groggy as I sit up and roughly wipe the sleep out of my eyes. Ana sits up too but I convince her that I've got this. I stand and walk around the bed until I reach the portable crib that we bought for the purpose of bringing our babies on vacation with us. I bend down and lift Phoebe into my arms. She is hysterically crying even as I hold her. Ana sits up again and we go through the list of things she could be crying about. She can't be hungry since Ana had just nursed her an hour ago. I check her diaper and she is dry. I check her mouth and gently put some baby orajel on her gums. After some time she is still crying, screaming even. I have to convince Ana a second time that I've got this. I decide to leave the bedroom so that Ana could get some sleep._

_When I reach the downstairs living room, I walk around and lightly bounce Phoebe in my arms while whispering things to her. Normally this would calm her down, but it is not working at the moment. "You are going to be a challenge for Daddy, aren't you?" I look outside at the beach and an idea comes to me. I lay my screaming baby girl down on the sofa in front of me while I quickly drag my shirt off over my head, and I strip her of her pajamas and onesie. She is still crying when I pick her up and hold her against my chest, skin to skin. I grab one of her many baby blankets that we brought with us and walk outside as I wrap it around her back. It is warm outside, but I know that babies get cold a lot sooner than adults do. I'm not taking any chances. I slow my pace as I step out onto the sand and walk toward the ocean. She starts to calm and her crying stops. This calms me too since I've finally been able to calm my daughter._

_I walk along the beach just where the ocean hits for some time while holding Phoebe to my chest. I think she's asleep, but I decide to keep walking back and forth along the shore with her in my arms. I kiss her head a few times and breathe in the lovely scent of baby shampoo. I am so tired, but being awake to care for my daughter is worth losing sleep over._

I feel a big smile on my face at the memory of Malibu. Once I wake from my daydream I notice that Phoebe has fallen asleep. Her head is rested below my shoulder. I carefully remove the album from her lap and set it aside. I then reach for the blanket hanging over the sofa and drape it over her. She stirs slightly but then settles, keeping her head on the spot below my shoulder. I'm able to get comfortable and I place a kiss on her head. "Good night Peanut."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


	40. Fifty Shades Reliance

Phoebe's POV

"Put the car in drive, take your foot off the brake and gently press on the gas." I vaguely hear my father's instructions as I stare straight ahead down the long stretch of empty dirt road. My sweaty palms are gripping the wheel at the exact coordinates of ten and the two. His voice sounds like it is far away, like he is speaking through a long pipe. But when he speaks again, it is loud and clear and it makes me jump. "Phoebe!"

"What?" I let out an agitated sigh as I leave go of the steering wheel. The car is still in park and my foot is on the brake.

"Did you hear what I said?" I take in his tone. He is being so patient with me, more than I deserve. Dad paid for me to take driving lessons, but they didn't go as well as I'd hoped. There I was, sitting in the driver's seat with my hands at ten and two, and the instructor was telling me what I needed to do. I heard every word, but it just wasn't registering. I got scared and I froze. I couldn't do it. Just like I can't do it right now.

"I don't want to do this" I say softly. I just want to cry right now, but I do my best to suppress it.

"What's wrong, Phoebe?" He lets out a light sigh as he asks the question. I think he is getting frustrated with me, just as my instructor has. The driving school told Dad that I can't go back until I am willing to try to drive. Dad decided to take me out this morning so that I can try again, but I just don't feel comfortable doing this. I'm scared I'll drive us right into a tree, or into the Sound.

"I just don't want to drive. Can we please go home?"

He shakes his head. "Not until you try."

I shake my head and the tears start to threaten. "Please don't make me do this."

"What are you afraid of?" I continue to shake my head, but he doesn't let it go. "Tell me."

I let out another sigh and try to calm myself. "Crashing."

I chance a peek at him and he is shaking his head, but he is smiling. "I won't let that happen. Do you honestly think I would let you do this if I thought you could get hurt?"

"But I can get hurt. People get into car accidents all the time."

"Yes, they do. But there will be a lessor chance for you if you learn to drive properly. And once you do, it would just be a matter of being alert of the other people on the road. Now, let's try again." He takes my right hand and places it on the steering wheel again. I reluctantly lift my left hand and place it at the ten. "You don't have to go fast. You just need to get comfortable with moving. As long as you do as I say you'll be fine."

I nod and try to concentrate on what I am doing and what he is saying.

"Now, the car is in park. Put the car in drive while your foot is on the brake." I slowly move my right hand down to the lever and pull it down until it is pointed at the D. I feel the car shift slightly and it startles me. "You're doing fine" he assures me. "Now, take your foot off the brake and gently press on the gas." I gulp, but I somehow build up the nerve to take this next step. My foot shakily lifts from the brake and then gently taps on the gas. Nothing happens. "A little harder" he coaxes me. I tap it with a bit more force and the car jerks forward, causing my anxiety levels to shoot through the roof. I let out a scream as my foot leaves the gas pedal and the car slows. "Phoebe, relax" he scolds me. This is the first time he's snapped at me during the lesson. I've had enough.

"Can we stop now, please?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I am at a loss when it comes to my daughter learning to drive. We tried driving lessons, but she was too freaked out to follow through. I tried to take her out this morning, and I thought she was going to get over her fears, but it didn't work. She only moved the car about two feet before she got scared and choked. I don't know how to ease her fears when it comes to driving.

Right now we are at the Fall Festival. Ana and I have been bringing the kids here every year since they were babies. Kate and Elliot started coming with us when Ava was young and we invited Mia and Ethan to bring their kids this year. The little kids are having a great time with getting their faces painted and participating in games such as the bean bag toss, sack races and obstacle courses, while the older kids are bobbing for apples and doing the three legged races. We are taking a lot of pictures and helping the kids with decorating their pumpkins. There is also a pie contest which Gail entered her famous apple and cinnamon crumb pie in. She's entered a few of the pie contests over the years and won a few ribbons.

Natalie has a colorful butterfly painted on her face. The paint is covering her nose and cheeks. She is so cute and so content with sitting next to Sophia and painting her pumpkin. The pumpkin is the size of her head, as is Sophia's. Christopher chose a much bigger pumpkin. Rather than paint it, Ethan is helping him carve it. He wants to make a jack o'-lantern. Elizabeth is taking her time and neatly painting flowers on her pumpkin. Mia said her favorite class right now is art, and that she is trying to get better at it before she can paint some things on her wall. I'd be uneasy about my kids painting their walls, but Mia is happy because it is a sign that her daughter is starting to embrace their move here. Cameron is too young to paint, so Kate and Elliot are taking turns keeping him entertained in his stroller.

"Mommy, I'm awe done" I hear my baby girl's voice as she turns around. Ana's face lights up as she sits next to our daughter to observe her pumpkin. She praises her and tells her she did a beautiful job. She used red, purple, blue and pink paint to decorate her pumpkin. She turns around and looks up at me. "Daddy, yook at my punkin!"

I squat down to be at her level and place my hand on her back. "It's beautiful, Sweet Pea." I lean in and kiss her forehead, being careful to avoid her face paint. "Why don't we go and get you cleaned up while your pumpkin dries?" She happily nods and allows me to help her down from the bench. She is wearing a smock to protect her dress from the paint, but it is all over her hands and wrists. I take her to one of the family restrooms to change her and clean her up. I've been taking on more of Natalie's care since Ana is carrying our twins. Her pregnancy belly is bigger than she's used to, making daily tasks much more difficult for her. She is not allowed to lift Natalie, so Natalie has to climb onto the changing table or her bed when Ana changes her. She also can't lean into the bathtub to wash her anymore, but she often sits with me while I bathe her. Ana likes to read to her at night, so she's been putting her to bed most nights. I miss that part, but I know Ana misses taking care of her, so I need to give her that.

Once I clean her hands I have her help me inspect them. "What do you think? Did Daddy do a good job?"

"Yes" she nods her head animatedly.

"Do you see any more paint?"

"No" she shakes her head and makes a serious face.

"Kiss" I lean in and pucker my lips. She does the same and kisses me. I then tickle under her ribs and she laughs, a hearty laugh that comes from deep in her belly. I love that laugh. I kiss her head and lift her off of the table and lower her to the ground. As much as I love to carry her, I know she needs to walk and be independent. She takes my hand and starts to happily skip as we leave the restroom to rejoin our family.

Once all of the kids are finished with their pumpkins, we line them up and take pictures of all of the kids with their pumpkins. We then settle them together at another part of the festival to take more pictures, this time with Cameron, Phoebe, Trevor, Ava and Nathan. Phoebe seems to be in a happier mood, but she still hasn't learned to drive. I internally groan as I recall the events of this morning. Why is she so afraid to drive? And how do I get her over that fear?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Phoebe's POV

After the festival, Trevor takes me on a last minute date. We had some food at the festival so neither of us is hungry. He didn't say where we were going. He's being very sneaky. I don't know if I should be scared or excited. I go for the latter.

He's holding my hand and driving with his other hand on the wheel. I'm sure my Dad would have a coronary if he knew that Trevor was driving with one hand with me in the car. But I trust him. He's been driving for over a year now, and he had plenty of practice in the driver's seat on our road trip. The road trip. I internally sigh at the thought. It feels like ages ago, but it was only a few months ago. Dad was so angry and so hurt. I'm glad that we are finally getting back to the way things used to be between us. But I'll never forget what that did to him. Trevor catches me pouting.

"Don't worry, we're almost there. You can stop pouting."

"I'm not pouting" I lie.

"Yeah, you are. Look, I know you don't like surprises. But this is a good one. Trust me."

I smile at him. "I do."

"Good." He brings my hand up to his lips and plants a few kisses.

We arrive a few minutes later and he finds a parking spot in the parking lot for Fun Spot. I'm confused as I notice him climb out of the car and walk around to open my door. He takes my hand and I climb out. "We're here" he says with a smile on his face. "I brought you here to play."

I start to feel giddy. This place has everything. Miniature golf, driving range, batting cages, arcade games, ball pit, laser tag, paddle boats, and…

"Go karts" he says when we arrive at the back of the complex where there is a large track and go karts. I start to feel sick. We've been here for a while now playing with everything else, and it was so much fun. Had I'd known he had this in mind, I would have tried to leave. He has a firm grip on my hand which is preventing me from running away.

"Trevor, can we please go?" I ask him nervously.

"Afraid not" he says, and I feel like I could cry. I know he sees this in my face because his expression changes. He was smiling at me, but now he looks contrite. He has me sit down. "I called ahead and requested to have the track to ourselves for a half hour. That way, there won't be anyone else around. You'll be on the track by yourself with only the rubber barriers to crash into. I promise, its safe."

"Does my Dad know that you brought me here?"

He lowers his eyes and looks at his fisted hands. He's leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, while I'm sitting next to him with my hands knotting in my lap. "At the festival I asked your Dad how the driving lesson went this morning and he mentioned that you were having a difficult time. I thought this would help you at least get comfortable with being in control of a moving vehicle. Please, Phoebe, give it a try."

I let out a nervous sigh. Trevor went to a lot of trouble to help me with this. If I don't try this, I'll be letting yet another person down in the task of helping me learn to drive. My fingers have moved to my legs which are covered by cotton leggings, but I can still feel my nails digging into them. Trevor takes both my hands in his and stops me. I squeeze my eyes shut. "Okay. I'll do it" I say and open my eyes wide. I immediately regret it. What did I just agree to?"

He smiles and pulls me to stand with him. "Let's go."

He pulls me along as we walk fast through the entrance to the track. He has a firm grip on my hand again, probably to ensure that I don't change my mind. Trevor speaks with the track's operator and they shake hands. The operator introduces himself as Eric and leads us over to one of the go karts. He shows us what to do and leaves us to it.

"Climb in" Trevor orders me. I'm not used to him ordering me around. It sends a chill up my spine. I almost think I like it. It makes me feel….. safe. But I still feel nervous about this. I let out a gulp.

"Don't you want to go first?"

"No, I don't want to go first. Climb in."

After some more hesitation, I slowly move and he helps me climb into the go kart. He also helps me with the two seat belts required for the kart. Two seat belts? Why do I need two? I thought he said this was safe.

"Don't let the two seat belts scare you" he says as he fastens the second one for me. "That's for when there are other cars on the track."

I gulp again as I look at him. "Trevor, I'm really scared."

"Don't be. I wouldn't let you do something that wasn't safe. Now, just like a real car, the brake pedal is here, and the gas pedal is here. The only difference is you don't need to put the car in drive or park." I nod my head to let him know that I understand. "You are going to be fine." He leans down and kisses my lips. Then he gently tugs on my necklace and pulls it out of my shirt. I have been wearing the promise ring on the necklace so that my family doesn't see it. He smiles and kisses that too before he backs away a few steps. "Whenever you're ready."

I grip the wheel at ten and two. Even though this isn't a real car, I want the real effect. I want so badly for this to work, but not just for me. For Trevor, and for Dad. For some reason they both want me to learn to drive. I don't understand it really, but I don't want to let them down. I take a few more seconds to prepare myself, and then I slowly place my foot on the gas. I give it very little force, but it is enough to make the kart move forward. It feels weird, but not so scary. I probably only moved a few inches.

"You're doing great, Baby" I hear Trevor shout. That gives me more ammunition to do this. I press my foot on the gas again and give it more force, but this time I don't take my foot off the gas. I leave it there, and I move. I move slow at first and it's not scary. After about a minute I give it more force and I'm moving faster. Holy cow, this is fun. I'm smiling and it's a happy smile. I get a little more daring and press the gas pedal as far as it goes and I am flying around the track. I steer to make sure I stay away from the walls. I know they are made of rubber, but I still prefer not to crash.

"You are doing it, Baby. I am so proud of you" I hear Trevor shout as I continue around the track. I can't look at him since I need to keep my eyes on the track, but I hear him. He's proud of me. I'm proud of me. I keep going since I can't get enough of this. This feels great, so free. I can't believe I've never done this, not even at amusement parks. I let out a happy scream as I round the track again.

After I've had my fun, I round the track one last time and use the brake when I am close to where Trevor is waiting for me. Once the car is stopped, I quickly unfasten the seatbelts and climb out. Trevor approaches me and I run into his arms, nearly knocking him over since he didn't expect me to charge at him. He hugs me tightly and kisses the side of my head. "I told you you could do this" he whispers, and I can feel how proud he is of me.

I pull out of our embrace so that I could look at him. "Thank you. Thank you for making me do this."

"How do you feel?"

"Do you even have to ask?" I realize I sound high right now, but I don't care. I'm high on excitement. I can't stop smiling. I swear my face will stick like this for a while. "I feel incredible, I feel…I feel…. I… I have no words."

His lips crash into mine, and I'm grateful since it shuts me up. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his back and head. His hand is in my hair and our kiss deepens. After some tongue dancing he slowly pulls out of the kiss. "You know, Dovis is probably watching us."

I giggle. "He is, but so what. He's seen us kiss before."

"Not quite like that" he says, but he is smiling at me. I shrug my shoulders and kiss him again.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

We are in our bathroom and I am sitting in a chair that Christian had placed in our bathtub. He does this for me every once in a while when I'm pregnant and get to the point where I can no longer reach my legs comfortably. I have a maternity t-shirt on and panties, and he has removed his shirt. He approaches me with my shaving cream, razor and some lotion. "Ready?" he asks me.

I nod and smile giddily at him. I'll admit, I do love that he does this for me. It is so intimate and so beautiful. He brings my right foot up and helps me rest it on the side of the tub and then plants a few kisses up my leg. I can't help but giggle. Christian can make anything look sexy.

He gently smoothes the shaving cream over my leg until every inch is covered, and then slowly runs the razor up my leg. He continues the task while dipping the razor in the water in between each stroke. Once he finishes, he carefully washes my leg and then gently massage it with lotion. I close my eyes and breathe in the lovely scent of jasmine. I also let out a moan.

"Something you like, Mrs Grey?" he asks as he plants another kiss on my clean shaved and lotioned leg.

"There are a lot of things I like."

"What things in particular?" he asks as he places my right foot in the tub and lifts the other to rest it on the side of the tub. He repeats the process with the left leg.

"Anything that involves having your hands on me."

He smiles up at me, that beautiful boyish smile that I can't resist. I love this man so much. I relax and enjoy the process of him shaving my left leg. Once he cleans and lotions it, he places my foot in the tub and has me stand.

"I'm going to run you a bath, and while you are relaxing in our bathroom I will get our baby girl ready for bed."

Did I mention how much I love this man? He's always taking care of me. I'd really like to help put Natalie to bed, but today was a really long day with the festival and having family here afterward. The kids started to get whiny and crabby when it was time to leave. None of the kids had naps today so it was understandable. I welcome my husband taking care of me and then taking care of our baby girl. I am going to take a bath and then climb into bed with my husband. I could sleep for twenty four hours straight with the fatigue that I'm feeling.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

After getting Ana settled in the bath, I walk into the main room to find Natalie watching a Disney movie with Phoebe. I didn't even know Phoebe was home from her date. She sees me and rushes to me. Before I know what's happening she wraps her arms around me.

"Peanut, are you okay?" I ask her as I reluctantly wrap my arms around her. She's not upset. If anything, she seems happy.

"I'm great, Dad. Um, do you think we can try driving again? Tomorrow?

"Sure, but…. what changed your mind?" I'm very curious about her sudden change of heart. This morning she was a wreck about driving, but now it seems she can't wait to get behind the wheel again.

"Trevor helped me get a little more confidence" she says before she bites her lip. "He took me to Fun Spot to drive a go kart."

"Did he now?" I ask. I'm actually pleased with her sudden surge of excitement, but I'm a little sad that I didn't give her that confidence. Is this how it's going to be now? Phoebe has a boyfriend now that will take over my role?

"So Dad, tomorrow?"

"Of course, Peanut. How about tomorrow morning, and then you'll need to come home and work on your school work."

"Thanks Dad" she says as she wraps her arms around my waist again for another hug. I wrap my arms around her and keep them there for a bit, planting a kiss on her head. Fuck if I'll let any boyfriend of hers take this away from me.

When we leave go of each other I place my hands on either side of her face and kiss her forehead. I then walk around the sofa to collect Natalie. She's been lying on a pillow watching the movie. It's not nearly over yet, but it's late and I cannot let her stay up any longer to finish watching it. "Time for bed, Sweat Pea. We can finish watching Rapunzel tomorrow."

I pick her up after I turn the movie off, and she starts to whine. Her whining quickly escalates to screaming. "I want Mommy, I want Mommy" she keeps saying. She's crying now as I carry her up the steps. Tears are running down her face. I kiss her hair a few times and whisper things to her, but she continues with her verbal tantrum. She is so tired after having so much activity today and skipping her nap. I can't blame her for it. But a father can only take so much screaming.

"Natalie, Baby. Stop screaming right now." But it doesn't work. She keeps screaming for Ana as I try to get her to lie on her bed so that I can change her. She doesn't keep still, and she even manages to climb off the bed while I search for pajamas for her. I pick her up and hold her again as she screams and cries.

"I want Mommy" she screams and cries. It breaks my heart that I can't calm her. She doesn't do this very often, in fact I can only recall a few occasions where she's been in a trantrum like this. I turn around and Ana is at the door. She's wearing her bathrobe. I'm disappointed that she climbed out of the bathtub without any assistance. She could have fallen. I can't stop the scowl that forms on my face.

"Christian, bring her into our room" she tells me gently. Natalie sees Ana and reaches her arms in her direction, but I keep my hold on her. Ana cannot carry her, so I go along with Ana's idea and follow her into our bedroom with Natalie still screaming. Once we are there I shut the door and follow Ana over to our bed. Ana gets comfortable on her side and I place Natalie next to her. Natalie is still crying as she buries her face into Ana's side. Ana puts her arm around her and rubs her hand up and down her back. Her other hand is in her hair. I stand and watch as I run my hand through my hair. I hate to see my baby girl cry. And what's worse, I couldn't get her to stop.

"I'll go and get her pajamas and changing basket."

"Bring some books back too" Ana says. I nod and leave the room, brooding over not being able to calm my daughter. She's never done this. She's always accepted me or Ana, whoever was taking care of her at the moment. She's never expressed wanting one parent over the other, until now. I know she's young, but it still hurts all the same. I go to her room to collect some things for her so that we can take care of her together in our bedroom.

Once I'm back in our room, I notice that Natalie's cries have been reduced to soft whimpers. Her head is still rested against Ana's side and Ana is comforting her with her touch and her words. She is singing "Twinkle Twinkle" to her. I smile softly at the sweet sound of Ana's voice. It's so soothing to me and our children when she sings like that. I slowly sit on the bed again and move so that I am closer to them.

"Is she okay?" I ask Ana. Ana has been running her hand through Natalie's now damp hair.

"She's warm. She might have a fever." That's all I need to hear before I am off the bed and back in Natalie's room. I return with her thermometer and sit on the bed again. Ana moves Natalie so that I have access to her forehead and face. Natalie just wants to cuddle with Ana so she starts to cry softly. I manage to take her temperature and it is slightly high.

"One hundred and one" I say softly. Ana continues to stroke Natalie's hair and she calms again. "I brought some of her Tylenol in case she had a fever." I put some of the liquid into the medicine dropper and hand it over to Ana. I watch as she patiently puts it by Natalie's mouth and explains that she has to take it so that she can feel better. Natalie shakes her head a few times, but Ana doesn't give up. With a little more coaxing, she is able to get our baby girl to take the medicine. Once she is calm, Ana convinces her to let me change her diaper and put pajamas on her. Natalie cooperates and Ana sings to her as I do it. I'm glad that Ana had the forethought to wash the face paint off after dinner so that we wouldn't be struggling with it at bedtime.

Once I finish dressing her, she reaches her tinny hands for me. I smile and lift her into my arms, kissing her still damp hair and holding her to my chest. I push her head to rest on my shoulder and rock her for a few minutes. "Daddy, I thusty" she says with a tired voice. I lay her down next to Ana again and leave the room. When I come back, I put her sippy cup in her hands and watch as she drinks a good amount of it.

"Juicy?" she asks. She's smart enough to know that I don't allow her to have juice at night time.

"Not quite" I say to her with a chuckle. I gently run my hand through her hair a few times. "This is Gatorade. It's good to drink when your head is hot." She drinks some more of it and then rests against Ana again. I get comfortable next to them and start to read one of her stories to her. After a few pages, she is asleep. Ana and I decide to watch some TV and keep her with us for a bit to make sure she is okay. I reach over and gently stroke Ana's cheek with my fingers. She looks over at me and smiles. She then looks down at our baby girl sleeping against her side. "Are you comfortable? Do you need me to move her?"

"No, I'm very comfortable. Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

She narrows her eyes at me and smirks. "I saw your facial expression when Natalie cried for me. I know that hurt you." She strokes Natalie's hair again as she says this.

"Yeah, it did burn. I guess I like to be the person our kids rely on when they need help. It's hard to share that, even with you sometimes."

"I know" she says with a smile. "The kids and I do rely on you. You take great care of us Christian. Please, don't doubt that."

I smile, even though there is always that seed of doubt. It will grow at times, but Ana is always there to chop it down. "I love you Baby" I say to her as I place my hand over Natalie's forehead. I then run the backs of my fingers down her cheeks. "I think her fever's going down."

Ana smiles at me and then places a kiss on our baby girl's head.

* * *

_**800 Reviews! Wahoo! You guys are the best. Here's another chapter. It's not as long as the previous ones but I wanted to post an update. I started another story but I am not giving up on this one anytime soon. There's a lot more to write for this one. Thanks for the continued support and Happy Reading!**_


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